The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, August 9, 1903, Page 14

14 THE SUNDAY CALL. v er fe that, like t ! tmparts its Bavor . > tell w » er n to have lost at a a at all; but t I's para - t as exu g a state as glarize forces of b fortune ¢ ew of us who re are lives of t fe is a some- traces been miser- ng-sc life than one who I do not mean rding-school, where ve nd eir brothers and the other €, the old-fashioned, laced boarding-school, where the TER SWE doctor and the coel heaver were the only masculinities seen from years end to Year's end To such a girl the emancipation from the schoolroom is the event of her life. Bhe knows nothing of the world and thinks it was made and painted for her special delectation, and her first exper- ence as a young lady is bewlldering. She ) INE TENLE? TH. rOrT WHICH NERILY THERRS e LFING RN CLERNING FLL PRy /A A SRR MFL AT SHE ST TINELD 70 CARE/TLCH Forc 17E PERET. ts fascinated by the welcome the world extends to a pretty girl whose parents have to invite it to share its e judges every one from T own pure self and life L measured harmony of one IME. rywhere fi swarm an ds herself sur- admi by a s ve n could be rung down here, ever after, romance profitiess, but s or mi wedding d smiles through sunshine rainy tears just as it ot ache or break in r gh the wilderness of matrimo: d when a girl falls ll the common sense that has previously characteriged her is negatived, and there are precious few who love wisely and well or Jove wel The & osition of the girl decides whether the object of her affec- tion be worthy and wisely chosen, and, unfor- of lite and the prophecies, IT OAr7ANCE unfortunately, girls have a knack of fall- ing in love exactly when and where parents oppose with all wonted vigor. And here it is where the lack of worldly wisdom fashions the future irrespective of parental desires or a foolish girl's day dreams. The proportion of unhappy marriages is unfortunately great, and whether it be from the choice itself or from the man's fallure is a difficult question to determine. A girl judges a man from her heart, not from her RBead, and when all is told, a young girl's heart before it has experi. enced the hardening process is of jellied consistency, although you could not make ter believe so, and she thinks that she herself 1s the best judge of the man whom she wishes to marry. Now, of course, there are many lessons that she will quickly learn and the honey- moon hardly wanes before she begins a course that often/makes her sick at heart. She marries an ideal and finds a reality. The man who called in the evening In dress suit is very different from tne man who sits in his den pufing away at an ©ld college pipe. A lover in dinner jacket and a husband .n smoking outfit are creatures of different mold, and it is this contact that destroys idealism and is re- sponsible for many nhappy marriages. The man who deluged his sweetheart with violets and lllles of the valley, throwing in a few pounds of Still-Higher's candy feels that he cannot afford such luxuries when confronted by the bills of maintenance for two where formerly only one existed. Few young men stert out in life with a good big fortune, ind those who are but moderately circumitanced feel obliged to retrench and flo and candy and theater parties are the:first items stricken from the lists. i Girl wives resent thls, attributing it to neglect, when in reality the man is but / a DHE Zors Faeom 7w EMN CI PATION OF THEJCHOOL. Eo 0T 70 DOCIET Y /: THEWN OHE~FZZULD INLrOVL" trying to make both ends meet. ‘When a young man starts in to sup- port a wife on an income formerly speut on himself alone it makes a great dif- ference, but a girl thinks he should in- dulge her the same after as before mar- rlage. She becomes supersensitive, feel- ing injured and neglected, and the first cloud breaks over the matrimonial hor- izon with rumblings of a storm. ¢« e e And the girl who marrles for love and nothing else. Now girls who have always had every whim gratified have an idea that they could willingly make all the sacrifices possible for one man. They positively could not live without that one man. Well, in many instances it might be a precious sight more comfortable to live Wwithout him than to live with him. Mak- ing sacrifices for a man's sake as a steady diet is not a bit of a joke, nor is there an atom of fun in {t. Love amid sordld surroundings has not a grain of romance, but it has a few odd bushels of the sternest kind of reclity. The girl ac- customed to dainty environments has no conception- of the constant warring of her nature against circumstances that force her to relinquish many little things, and it is the little -things that do the largest part toward making her dis- satisfied and unhappy. The girl who knows nothing of house- hold cares thinks it would be great fun to do a lot of hustling in the little home that love and poverty make so beautiful ' (In story books), but when it comes to such duties as daily routine the girl wha has never done a hand's turn learns & mighty unwelcome lesson. There is nothing on earth so unsatis- fying as living on love and nothing else, and the woman who has loved so roman= tically, and who could not live without the dear fellow, when confronted by the ever present labor question is too tired even to love and wants to be let alone after her day's work 1s done. Marrying for love may be sordld, but marrying without it is foolhardy, and the girl who was so perfectly crazy to marry for love and be her own maid and every- thing else soon looks upon her romance as an attack of mild lunacy and wishes herself back with her mother. The adorable sweetheart is superseded by the matter of fact husband, which, reinforced by her own household worries, sends Cupid flylng not only out of the window but clear over the back fence. Even should a girl's parents be wealthy they are seldom generous enough to fancy supporting a son-in-law who may be a thorn in the flesh, and the girl is left to struggle as best she may. while the only sympathy she recelves after her mis- erable mistake is the moth-eaten comfort that she made her own bed. Of course, then love flies out of the window. To many victims of such reckless love marriages there comes a day when an empty larder stares gauntly and hunger pinches. The girl in her pride strives to ~ hide rrom the world evidence of her sor- row, and the only refuge of despair—the pawn shop—seems her onty friend. She takes her trinkets—old presents per- haps from loved ones long ago passed— “shadows under the flowers, under .the snow,” or treasured souvenirs of girlish escapades, and, bravely forcing back her tears, she selects some trifle, the part- ing from which nearly breaks her heart, and wends her way. Even to enter the place seems desecration and she glances furtively on either side, fearing to be seen by some friend of her girihood. The hu- miliation is bitter enough, but the bitter disappointment adds to her despalr when she sees how little Intrinsic value her treasures possess in the cold-biooded eyes of the dealer. Sick at heart, she takes the trifis that “ TIU BLALITY Of- 7l poegse HEN OHE WAD i R RS | meenre? o butcher, the baker and candlestick mam= comfort in life. A be well; she must be comfortable; she to bear the house- she is not well, and ss demands for momey er there can be en as been well reared s a certain amount be thrown In to Cupid’s chariot. and feels when the ef ding her life become ed even by the most co- f soothing syrup. han who loves & man se with many lux- own home, but it but of the neces- rt. t thing on earth ht kind of sities ere is no denying that the care of a& is about the hardest kind of work, nd the girl who ma for love and nothing else, and who finds plenty of the thing else that fafls to compen- e for:1& apt to feel that the man aid her a _positive injury in marrying ber. A back ro with a baby and ursing bo ation, is teo much of a. veali uch of a paradise, even for fools. Gitls tioned from a ra- de to understand ally me: It is for love ftself. s best on a steady diet should be ca se sense, and it needs a bank stabtiity. The of hard hor account to who has always been w groomed, even tho not extravagantly, cannot be happy If shabby, and she certainly can- not enjoy anyt g like life If she must stay at home all the time and be her own nursery mald. girl give = While not advocating mercenary mar- rlages, and believing unquestioningly marriage without love to b & sacri- lege, at the same time, marriage with Jove and nothing else does not present DU 45 QUITL DAl ENE N T FAROR affords temporary relief and, stifiing her sobs, retraces her steps despondent and miserable. The picture is not overdrawn, as many who read know only too well. ‘This is reality. ‘Where there is no money to pay the continuous complimentary meal tickets. Giris step In where angels (ear to tread, and angels do not tread the reckless ways of matrimony. Some men think so at the altar, but change their opinions when the alimony clause is inserted. COLONEL KATH.