The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, March 8, 1903, Page 6

HE Prophet Zacha in his v sees a man with a asuring line in who is in- ws that the yc an would be » hear, and it a mes: of impo was s of dispa bearer ng man have man as rties of m but d more ritica what to do with be s m > boys who do 1 they go frave Dangers of Patonies. and ilation; xplosion in may scat ostal card, duty r Christian burial, is in toto— platonic friendship. There would be no nger in these friendships were it not that the subtle- ties outlining the b where fr merges into have puz led wiser heads Hscuss this tangled re friendships smiles and that h re- rise and fall of ed the blighting ndaries dship Jove cruel- touch “Th HE fri mestic n_of service to be an old story now. It is ed upon as one of the unsolved problems of mod- ern economics »y some as an able one do- as come inclined to ve up striving and the co trying to b to them. must al- accept tions, resigned the maid for more “‘evenings It would seem that ways continue to sue out” than the mistress sees fit to spare her, and that she must always continue to obj to so many shirt waists in the wash. It would seem that the mistre . home 1 sugh discipline to the physical, mental, 1oral and spiritual powers that equip the » Jung man for the sharp‘and rugged con- tests of life. If a young man fails to get that training 'at home he should bear in mind that he can find jt nowhere else. A popular writer has sald that a man’is nearest his highest, truest good when at nome. This is only true when the home is an ideal one, fuil of brightness, cheer- fulness and purity. There are homes where it were better tne children had never been born. Happy indeed the young man whose rare privilege it may be to be reared in an ideal home. In order to get the best out of his home a young man must be devoted to it. By do not mean the house with ail udy furnishings, but the loving and confiding hearts that make the soglal and moral atm of the home. As Charles Swa s hung and gilded alls, heart builded. familiar truth is no swecter rth than the at of mother; always suggests mother and her more happy and hal- n any other. John Payne, in his immortal poem, Sweet Home,” gave to the world than his beautiful sentiment; he, cred strain, struck a chord re- to which the hearts of both d foe can beat in unison through- ristendom One expr a ays that ther Il the dialects of unl. it be t aptly when he word in home, home word and s and palaces though we may bumble, there no place like More than twenty thousand people once ered in old Castle Garden, New York, Jenny Lind, the Swedish nightin- As she began to sing, with eep emotion, “Home, Sweet Home,” the multitude burst into such continued a ise that the sweet singer was stopped. ye was moist and eve cheek are the friend- too sacred to be . though also of a scandal; and these ships-that are too holy confounded with love, which sacred, is very apt to have more decidedly earthly flavor Platonic friendship having for its basis a keen appreciation and exalted admira- tion for its object, rarely, if ever, change its character, because the admiration, which is of the brain, is something dif- ferent from the magnetism that partakes of sexual affinity. In one of my first sto- ries 1 wrote “Platonic love is but friendship in dis- guise, because it lacks the magnetism that in a'moment forgets all barrie leaves love conscious of love onl, 1 have never been able to formulate an- other sentenge that seemed smmore apt in- terpretation. There is no danger in ship from that standpoint; for though the greatest admiration may exist in' our brains for the object, yet there is-no mag- netism underlying it to quicken the pulse or send a glow from heart to brain. Such friends we may love in a way: the com- panionship of which we may never tire be charmingly congenial. We might platonic friend- st always be insisting upon hotter bouillon, even though her husband is late to dinner, and that she will always con- trive to find a speck of dust somewhere after even the most vigilant sweeping. The army of “help” shifts constantly, as restless and dissafisfled as its employers But difficult the matter is, let us re member that in working toward a better- ment of conditions the employer has the initiative and may take the first steps in bringing about a truer unde nding be- tween mistress and mz Ore difficulty just at present lies in the fact that the housekeepers of our country d> not realize 3 e of labor has gone up of late in all branches. This does not exclude domestic service. To secure good service one must pay a good price. The wife may have heard her husband mention that lathers and other laborers are charging more than they once were, but this has gone in at one ear and out at the other. She does not put two and two together and accept the fact that she must pay more to have well-prepared din- T oberts_Gmithy; faseciote Professey +f ? batheddfbeata. But 15 miot Home far more than sentiment? I wonder how many of that twenty thousand entranced hearers of that sweet singer were falth- ful in megting their obligations to their homes. The fact Is, we never know the real value and the great power of our homes until they are gone from us and we from them. But very few young men fully ap- preciate the most blessed period of life— that of their early years at home. It is only in the after vears of life, when their homes are no more, or when they are so far away from them and so situated as not to be able to visit the scenes of their childhood, that they begin to know what home means. How the memorfes of our childhood days touch and influence us now. There is no song that so sets me to recalling the days of my childhood and quickens my heart throbs as “The Old Oaken Bucket,” by Woodworth. I can- not express to you my feelings as I visited the scenes of the author’s childhood near Scituate, in Massachusetts, and as I drank from— The cld oaken bucket, the fron-bound bucket, The moss-covered bucket which hung In the ell. The author of that song but voiced the language of the human heart in all civil- ized lands— be associated with such a one with per- fect confidence for years, with all the tastes and inclinations in absolute har- mony, bét at no time would there arise a thought of anything akin to demonstra- tive affection; hence the perfect security. A girl who has brothers may be closely associated with their friends, sharing their pleasures, and, as boys express it, be “awfully chummy yet there will be no affinity flaunting danger signals. A woman may think herself immune from temptation. There is no greater fal- lacy. If certain magnetic forces are present she cannot escape their influence and must either retreat or surrender. It is fate. In some instances this magnetic spell is felt at the first meeting. It is then that a woman sees the admiration glowing in a man's eyes, and evident in every line of his face, At other times the knowiedge is a more gradual growth, A woman who thinks she can indulge in platonic love safely overestimates her- self and will find herself in a whirl of temptatibn. A young girl who is wise will have no platonics either of love or friend- ship with the husbands of her friends, and a wife who is wise will not exyose a vant ners than she used to pay. This is merely an item, however. The primary fact in the case is this—domestic service is less attractive to our American women than any other forms of work, therefore the more intelligent are ever sceking other means of making a liveli- hood. They are to be found in factorfes, shops, offices, schools even. They take positions for smaller wages in preference to entering the kitchen. We can but look the fact in the face. Domestic service, no matter how well it be paid for, falls to attract the bread- winning woman as do other occupations. The employers must look into the matter and find out what the objections to the service may be if they would overcome those objections and have intelligent women in their household employ. The matter of pay being put aside as settled, what next? The number of hours of work must be reasonably small. One mald cannot do all the cooking, the waliting on doors, the cleaning, the washing, the caring for chil- Piag poncp UBLIC tourna- ments are to ping pong what club and county matches are to cricket and pub- lic tournaments to Jawn tennis. They enable the public to see the game at its best and as shown by its worthiest ex ponents. A player, as a rule, must feel himself above the average to enter for a tournament. He is, so to speak, under the public eve and his play should certainly be aboye the reach of There is a very great differgnce between playing in one’s own back drawing-room and in a public place where a crowd is frequently disposed to ridicule Le critical. A tournament is also an op- portunity for weaker players to play sironger ones and thus improve their game. Ping pong is not a game that requires any special amount of trainipg—it is not necessary to live on porridge and steaks only, but it is necessary to be careful what we eat and drink if we have an im- portant match before us. Just a touch of biliousness is quite enough to upset the best eye, and before going into play we should not eat too heavy a meal—we also think that non-stimulants are better to play on than wine, However, this is a matter in which the persons playing them- selves must be the best judges. It is a very good thing after playing to give the wrist a rub with Elliman's embrocation; which keeps the tendons pliable and lis- som. In regard to style of play it is next to impossible to give advice about this, Players invariably have their own charac- teristics and the best thing they can do is to make as rauchi use of their good points as/ they possibly can. A tournament is not the place to practice shots we are weak on—reserve that for home or club. ‘When playing in a tournament endeavor that your opponent shall give you as many opportunities on your strongest side as possible, and when you get the chances to make points avail yourselves of them, taking as much care as you can to hide where your weakness is. The table tennis or ping pong assoclations have practically the supervision of all principal turna- ments, and players should take care that the tournaments in which they play are held under the auspices of one of these associations. By so doing they are play- ing standard rules and everything is sure to be bona fide, In tournament play one meets many personalities, and it must be admitted that competitors frequently possess traits of character not calculated to conciliate their opponents. One of the first ‘things the tournament player has to learn, then, is to control his temper, and not allow How dear to fhis beart are the scenes of my. childhood, When fond recollections present them to’ view! These recollections should always awaken the pure desires of early years and inspire to better living. How much richer and fuller would be the joys of life of young men now at home if they could now see through the eyes of those older in life and who are more experi- enced; and how: many heartaches and tears and sad recollections would be pre- vented. The young man who does not ap- preciate his home now is storing up for himself memories that will come like vul- tures to tear at his breast In after years. It _matters not how dear the spot, Hew proud or poor the dome, Loye still retains unbroken chains That bind the heart to home, Learning then the sacredness and power of home influence the young man should live in perfect harmony with it. Before he can be true to those on the outside he must learn to be true to the hearts that restle in the home. Read the beautiful story of Joseph In sacred writ for an ideal example of fillal devotion.to a father and of self-forgetful love for brothers who had through envy sold him into slavers Not many young men are worthy successors of Joseph’s line. So many young men seem to be void of pathos and sentiment husband to the charm of an intimate friend, particularly when he may be just at the wearying-of-her stage. In fact, if there were fewer intimate friends play- ing the game of fascination over the hearts or brains of husbands and wives divorce courts would not be working over- time. A man is silly enough to bring his in- timate friend into his home, and, instead of being alarmed, is flattered when the friend raves over the beauty, grace and accomplishments of the wife. Later the husband finds, on some speclal cccasion, a business engagement negativing an evening's outing promiszed the wife, and, rather than disappoint her, a note or wire s -dlspatched to the friend with the re- quest that he act as thé substitute. The friend, nothing loth, accepts. In the be- ginning thel is no thought of wrong- doing on either side. The friend finds a charming companion and concludes that he would enjoy a steady contract of that kind. Other occasions bring other Invi- tations and unconsciously both drift down the whirling stream. Then comes a time when a handclasp, a flash of the eye, a ~ullty flush, and a woman I'nows she has in their home relations. They dishonor their father by disregarding his counsels and resenting his authority. They slight Lim with impunity and speak of him with disrespect. Such young men are sowing the seed of a terrible harvest in years to come. They are not afflicted like the dys- peptic woman who consulted her ph: ian and reported his conclusion as fol- lows: “The doctor told me that my real difficulty was that 1 hadn't sufficlent ggll to justify my victuals.” There are a good many alabaster boxes of precious oint- ment that ought to be brought out and broken and their contents poured upon the heads of devoted fathers and mothers. Therg are a good many kind things that ycung men had better say now to their parents instead of waiting until the flow- €rs bloom above their sleeping ashes. This.is peculiarly true in regard to a young man’s mother, who, in the very na- ture of things, stands in such a Holy, ten- der and unselfish relatibn to.him as no cne else can. A mother's love is the utmost intensity of which earthly love s capable; it is al- ways true and stronger than death it- self. This great truth has been sung by the poet and pictured by the artist. It is interesting to see how such eminent ar- tists as Sir Frederick Leighton and Tur- ner and such eminent poets as Lord Ten- nyson have told the pathetic tale of Riz- pah’s devotion to her sons. This filial love of sons has been the great motive of fome of the great masterpices of such re- nowned authors as Shakespeare. This filial devotion is always the mark of a true young man; its lack indicates some abnormality or moral degeneracy. A cer- tain preacher who forgot to read a notice Fanded him of a ladies’ meeting, on be- ing reminded of it gave out the notice and then proceeded to read the first line of a Lymn, “Lord, What a Thoughtless Wretch Was L It is to be feared there are a good many thoughtless wretches Wale Sty sinned with her eyes. This is followed by the conflict between love and duty. If she is wise she will decline all further intercourse, but women are often very foolish; fearing a husband may suspect, they toy with dan- ger until they learn to love it. Then, presto! the scandal is born, but the hus- band is generally the last to become aware of it. His confidence in both friend and wife is so complete that it would be absurd were it not so pitiful Sometimes a wife on realizing her dan- ger will guard against it, but in the ma- Jority of instances she drifts on. If the husband is complaisant and generously accedes to a divorce, it becomes merely an exchange of husbands, provided, of course, the man Is honorable. Some few may be, but therein lies the risk. Few men think they owe a debt of honor to the woman whom they have dishonored. Family ties are not even safeguards, as the records where young and pretty sis- ters have eloped with middle-aged broth- ers-in-law show. A woman who shares her home with a friend, who in turn in- dulges in platonics with the husband, reaps a harvest of folly. Poblow ., dren in a large family. But this is noi the great objectlon, either. The irregularity of hours is often com- plained of. A maid objects to delayed meals, to waliting on the door late in the evening, to frequent company, which in- velves all kinds of extra task: Being hurried off to turn the ice cream freezer for unexpected guests when she had been counting on an zfternoon down town is not to her liking. She will tell you that could count on her time In any other line of work. Even in the sweat shop she krows exactly when she can consider her- self free. Employers must be fair to their maids in this matter. They must give free aft- ernoons to a maid who is on duty all the evening. They must simplify iiving if they can afford only one mald. Good. ser- vice can be obtained only at the price of just consideration. But even now the problem Is unsettled. Granted liberal wages and reasonable lLours, still the woman who must earn her way in America prefers to do it be- Ma himself Ao be put off by an opponent's idiosyncrasies. Ping pong is a game sim- flar to lawn tennis in this respect, that it is fatal to lose one’s temper. In all cases of dispute it is desirable to give in as much as possible to .one’s adversary: a little kindness and forbearance on both sides allow of a much more enjoyable game, and by being not too selfish on one’s own account, one frequently bene- fits when an occasion arises in which an opponent may return the compliment by being magnanimous. The individual who at all times stands on his rights is gener- ally unpopular with both players and public alike, and the writer in course of considerable experience has not noticed that such behavior in the long run bene- fits. ‘When starting to play in an important maich it is advisable for a player to sat- jsfy himself that the net is the right height, that the balls are correct in size aud weight and that other details are as they skould be. Although- this is really hind the counter or in the factory. Nor is the labor itself especially wear- ing to mind or body. The maid is housed, often very comfortably, with people of good breeding and intelligence; her work is in many ways dainty and has no ten- dency to coarseness. This is not the se- cret of the trouble. The social stigma is Aundoubtedly the most potent factor in rendering good house service so hard to obtain. The ccok and the waitress receive the treat- ment that is grantgd to menials. This has some relation to the traditions passed down from feudal times. It has a closer relation to human nature's desire to com- mand inferfors. Women will not look upon the house- hold maid as an employe. They Insist upon considering her a servant. The maid resents this and seeks other em- ployment. She finds her inferiority in- sisted upon in a thousand trifling points, which go to indicate the attitude of mind. In many cases she is required to wear livery, even while not on duty. She is the umplre's province, it is as well for a piayer to personally satisfy himse!f that everything is right. On entering a. tour nament always report yourselif to the referee or manager as early as possibl: and when directed to go to a certain tab.e or spot. go quickly and remain there. ‘With regard to the game itself the best advice we can give a player is to always take advantage of opportunities for mak- irg easy winning shots and to only go for trilijant shots when {he same can be accomplished with a falr amount of safety; brilllant play without safety sel- dom wins; it is a player who combines the two that is generally victorious. Al- ways be prepared to act on the letter ot the law as regards the rules and do not luse your temper when the umpire gives a ~decision that is wrong according to yeur point of view. It is unadvisable to do this for several reasons. As it is likely that the reader mav be called upon 1o himseif act as umpire a few points here as to his duties may not among young men who are forgetful df the “fond sharer of their infant joy, the fond soother of their infant tear.” What a beautiful tribute does Tenn: cess": Lord son pay to his mother in “The Prin- No angel, but a Cearer being all dipt In angel instincts, breathing paradise Thus we might cite many others of the best, the greatest and the wisest of men and women whom the world loves® to Lonor. They have all been free to ac- knowledge their unspeakable debt of grat- ftude to home and its influence. The foundation of a young man's future success or fallure is being laid in his early years at home. Failure there may mean fallure forever. There the young man ghould learn the lessons of obedience and of respect to superiors. There he should learn habits of honesty and accuracy. In the home school, which is the greatest of all schools, and under the tutorage of the greatest of all teachers, the parents, the young man should learn one of the sure secrets of success in life—the practice of small courtesies. In this school he should learn how to be prompt and punctual and orderly in all things. There he should learn self-respect and self-control and sell-dependence. There he should set his mind on a holy purpose and adopt a pure ideal to govern all his afger lite. Devoted to his home as a son, he should help to make it attractive and permanent by his own pure and cheerful and industrious life. He should prefer his home, if it is a home, above all other haunts, and linger as long within its walls as possible, for vhen he goes out from it to enter the sterner duties of life and to battle for himself, he will never find another spot so warm and soft as the home of his child- hood. (Next Week—"The Young- Woman- at: Home.") 4 S 5qum. A well-bred widow is the embodiment of tact. For young girls platonic friendships are like bubbling glasses of wine, fascinat- ing, yet few can stand the insidious.in- roads. The boundary between exhila- ration and intoxication, unfortunately, is not chalked out in conspicuous lines. The passage from one state to the other fings no barriers serving as a warning, and so with platonic friendship, which begins in the exhilaration of mutual tastes and sympathies. But who can tell if it will not end in the blighting disgrace of intoxication that leaves such hideous moral scars? Married men are, generally speaking, more attractive than single ones. A young girl s not proof against this attraction, and takes refuge within her reservation of platonics. She forgets to consider the wife and the power underlying the wife's claims, consequently she nests a brood of scandals, wherein sympathy for the wi will always place her at a disadvantage. In selecting her men friends a girl should encourage only those who, should love comeé between them, would” be free to marry. This is a girl's safeguard. .fimio@ ot Btanford. called Mary or Emma or Susie instead df Miss Brown, Miss Jones or Miss Rob- inson. Her mistress speaks to her in this fashion, and presently every one else is fellowing suit. . The butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker who .come to th back door know her by her Christiag name. She would not suffer this humilia- tion in any other work. The hours when a maid is off duty must, be as free as those of any other employe. The overseeing of all her private life is another thing tending to give the maid a feeling of inferiority. Only by winning a girl's friendship can her private life be * guilded—never by an authoritative at- tempt to dictate as to her pleasures. Regular hoyrs, fair pay, good living " conditions, soclal respect and independ- ence are the things that the employer owes. In return she must insist thorough work. In time she will come to recelve it. Good service is what we are all seeking. But it behoovés us to remember that the maids are seeking good employers. be out of place. It is the umpire's duty to see that the net is the right height at the commencement of a game and to sat- himself that the other implements used are correct. He must call out the score as each player makes a boint, re- ccrding it in the book provided for the purpose. He must call the “lets” and di- Tect the players when to change service and sides. If appealed to when the bill is In play he should say “play” if he con- siders nothing has been done by either cempetitor to make the ball “dead,” Af- ter the match, at which he has been um piring, the umpire should sign his score sheets and at once give in the results to the manager of the tournament. Tha umplre should never during a match give cncouragement to either of the players and he must be absolutely impartial. It is hardly necessary to say that. neither the vmpires or referee in a match shouid have any bets on the results. (Copyright 132 by D. T. Pierce.) upon %