The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, June 7, 1896, Page 17

THE N FRANCISCO CALL, SUNDAY, JUNE 7, 1896. 17 e SUTTER SIREET MIRAGE The azure dome is bright and clear As fair Protection’s skies appear; And now the heights The fiery coursers ot of noon have won the sun. In dream of white the summer maid, Like June personified arrayed, Is out to catch the heavenly smile Like brilliant candidate the while, Who studies gesture, pose and speech, The favor of the throng to reach. But let Miss Junetime’s dainty feet Glide o’er the flags of Sutter street, And lo! she starts in sheer amaze, For there before her wondering gaze, The glassy pavement sinks from view ’Neath waters of a silvery hue. “ Mirage I” Miss Scientist would cry; “Illusion !” but we pass her by— "Tis there—the lake on pavement dry. And affidavits by the Might prove the fact; Might get themselves score but those who swore in quarters tight To tell what primed them for the sight. But that, like Democratic cheer, Of course, is neither there nor here. Good General Barnes, who built a fence Three stories high (he is immense At stories), just to spite a foe Who pitched his tent Good General Barnes From victory’s height next door, you know— oft joys to see (up stories three) That lake—the while it eager waits To drag his foeman to the Fates. "Tis said old college chums a. few, Full of good cheer and barley brew, One morn, emerging from the club, Gave limbs a stretch and eyes a rub, And straight beheld—alarming sight! Their path all flooded There’s little moisture The sky is clear—and he fact is, while we overnight | Said one: “B’gosh, this climate here Is changing smartly year by year. Blame me! but not an age will go Before we get a June-day snow.” Said Number Two: “I’'m sobered quite ! This thing has set my soul afright ! in the air— yet—look there ! sang and drank, A cyclone here has played a prank, And thrown a fraction of the bay Over the housetops, in its play, To bury half of Sutter street, And warn the erring, by that feat, That life’s uncertain, and we may— Thought-swift—be sw ept in death away.” Said Number Three: “You're off the track, Just let me kindly help you back ! Around Her Feet a Bright Circle of Scarlet Falls. Steam gongs were blowing, the noon hour was over and ¢rowds of young men and women were briskly walking back to their work. At the corner of Birst and Howard streets two young girls were chatting in high spirits, and they were pretty enough to cause heads all along the street to turn, just as sunflowers follow the course of the sun. “My gracious, Mag,” said one, ananx- ious look coming over her face. “What's the matter?”’ demanded her comrade. “Stop! I tell you, stop!’”” This was the illogical but forcible answer, and it was emphasized by a spasmodic clutching at Mag’s sleeve, which pulled her to 8 stand- still all at once. “What’s the matter?’’ was again asked. The sidewalks echoed back the rattling of hundreds of feet. First street was filling rapidly and the suddenness of action on the part of the two girls made the eyes of all passers turn toward them. “It is—it is my petticoat,”’ groaned the sufferer in an agony of mortification and disgust. Around her feet a bright scarlet circle descended. It was indeed a flannel petti- coat which had broken from its fasten- ings, and it was the color of the girl’s face now. » “Pshaw,” said the other, contemptu- ‘is that all?’”’ A dexterous whisk and she had the offending garment under her sacque. But she tittered in spite of herself and the people on the street looked the other way and smiled. At least ,000, worth of British property is always on the sea. Denman Schoolchildren Use High- : Sounding Names. General F. Fricheiti, Duke E. Beers, | Duchess Olga Van Herman, Princess Mil- dred Natoma, Duchess Grace M. O. Ho- lighoif and James D. Zeling of South Af- rica made 1up a portion of a highly distin- | guished party who recently enlivened | the State Burean of Mining by their pres- | ence. There were forty-one persons- alto- gether in the party, and they were all very young, the eldest not exceeding 16 | years. Their identity was disclosed by the names and titles inscribed by them | on the register-book proviaed for public use. Their Highnesses and Graces com- ported themselves in a very democratic way. They chatted gayly and laughed as they wrote down their high-sounding ap- pellations, just as if they thought nothing of being members of the nobility. Duchess Olga confessed to a residence at the Pre- sidio. Princess Natoma claimed to live in gay Paris. Duchess Holighoff is from Berlin, according to the entry made by her hand. General Frichetti resides at the Baldwin Hotel and Duke Beers at the Palace Hotel. When the other visitors ‘to the bureau heard of the party they looked respect- fully in their direction. They saw only a rrosy-cheeked and jolly lot of young people who had . neither crown nor coronet nor visible insignia of exalted state. A mid- dle-aged chaperon was with them. Whef the chaperon said, *“Come, young ladies and gentlemen, we will* go,” the party dutifully obeyed. They were really a delegation from the Denman School making a visit to the bureau and the titles were claimed by them in a spirit of “josh.” There is a mirage on Sutter street. It is thare, despite the fact that an enemy of the muse, in verse so bad that it is funny, and an artist, in sketches that rank even up with the verse in quality, have endeavored to bury the truth under gross exaggera- tions. It may be seen, on any sunny day, by looking from the sidewalk in front of Dugan’s drucstore to the sidewalk about one block east. General Barnes can bear witness to its existence, and that noble Bohemian, Dr. Chismore, has taken in the sight many a time. Banker Hellman frequently contemplates the mirage, as he leisurely moves along the imitation marble sidewalks of that street, and the phenomenon is quite familiar to Colonel Fred Crocker's observant gaze. The public, however, is duly apprised that the mirage is no such startling affair as the pictures would seem to indicate. Doubtless the artist and the rhymester were duly primed for just such work as. they have done, and charity forbids the mention of the priming article. The Man That Did Not Like the Vining System. “Fare, please,” was the perfunctory de- mand of the conductor of car 130 of the Market-street line a few days since of a man who had taken his seat on the inside of the car. And the man handed over what Mr. Vining terms a “check for a transfer.” “No good,” said the conductor. ‘‘You'll have to go back and get a transfer.” “That’s my transfer, and I won’t go for any other,” was the curt reply of the passenger, whose looks betokened that he meant what he said. : “Then I'll fire you off,” said the con- ductor, who at the same time gave the gripman the bell to stop. The passenger prepared to resist, the lady passengers, fearing an encounter, moved forward, and the circus began. The conductor was strong, but the passenger was stronger, and he could not be budged. The conductor took an underhold, with a view to pick the passenger up and carry him out. The passenger held on to tne seat edge. There was a creaking of tim- ber, when another passenger jumped up and, going on the platform, slid the door and held it fast, so that no one could open it from the inside. This act, witnessed by a crowd that sur- rounded, was - encouraged by cries of ““That’s right; hold the door and don’t let them out,” “Keep your seat, old man; we won’t let him put you off!” The conductor called the gripman and the two tried to slide back the door, but they could not, for the man on the outside held it with a grip equal to a lead-pipe cinch. Then a big policeman tried to get on the platform to push the door-holder off, but it was no use. the crowd would not let him approach. Then he went to the front, jumped into the grip space, and from there worked his way into the car and whis- pered into the conductor’s ear. There was a cessation of hostilities, the conductor .pulled the bellstrap, the bell struck two blows and the car moved on, carrying with it the passenger who would not give anything but his ‘“check for a transfer,” the man on the platform released | his hold on the door-handle and the crowd cheered and then groaned for Vining and his checks. e They Are The Busiest Schooichildren In the World. Five afternoons every week a procession of Chinese boys to the number of about uvwenty moves down Clay stregt, turns into and passes along Dupont street for one block, enters a building on Dupont street, at the corner of Sacramento, and, after moving in regular order up a flight of stairs, is lost to view. This happens be- tween 2 and 3 o’clock with regularity as to the time of appearance and disappearance. The phenomenon provokes no comment now among the Chinese, because they understand what 1s meant by the passing show, but it remains a spectacle to.pro- voke Caucasian curiosity. The fact1is that these children, having attended the Chinese public school sup- ported by the City and County of San Francisco, and "having studied reading, writing and other branches conducted in English since morniug, are putting in their afternoons undergoing a similar course in Chinese reading and writing. This gives them two periods .of about equal duration of study every day in the week excepting Saturday and Sunday, so that they perform about twice as much mental labor of that sort as white children of similar age. They are very young, the oldest probably not over 10 years. Some of them live at South San Francisco, and others come frora rémote parts of the City, so that going to and from school and attending to their studies occupies their time without much respite from. early in the morning until about dusk. They are the sons of Chinese merchants, who seem to be forcing their progeny like hothouse plants in an educational way. They are the- busiest scbool children in the world. How Beautiful The Anthurium- Scherzeranium and the Alsophila. A bright young couple from Leaven- worth street were visiting the conserva- | tory at Golden Gate Park. He hung lovingly over plants with hard botanical names, and she amused herself watching the antics of the ‘goldfish in the pocl, which, as they played under the glossy leaves of the lotus, seemed to her to be “too cunning for anything.”’ *‘See,”” he said, “how beautiful are the broad leaves of the Maranta zebrina, the brilliant and .peculiar flowers of the Anthurium scherzeranium and the Alsophila australis.”” She answered not. Her cherry lips were pouted ; her eyes were dreamy. ““What ate you thinking of?”’ . he asked, with becoming softness. “Oh ! she said, with a get-there .sort of tone, I was thinking what a cinch the goldfish bave—plenty to eat, nothing to do and no one to bother them when they are quiet.” She is a typewriter, with a marked strain of the new woman in "her. He looked pained and shocked. ‘“One Morn, Emerging From the Club—" The Fifth-Street Parrot Who Enjoys One Bush That Bears Eight Varieties of Roses. In a sheltered back yard at 1918 Union street there is an immense rose bush, which looks like an enormous bouquet. At the top on one side hang clusters of pure white roses. In the middle atthe top are red roses, blooming in profusion. Pink roses hang in gay garlands at the top on the other side. All over the bush are branches ot roses of other lines and colors. The delicate La France, the white Mme. Planties, two varieties of Homer roses, the Pauline Lebeau, the Black Prince, the Castilian and the white La- marque lend variety and attest by their prolific blooms to the virility of the stock upon which they were grafted. The owner of this rose bouquet is H. L. Barker, who is connected with the State Bureau of Mining. Once there were thir- teen distinct varieties of roses on the bush, but the tea roses grafted on proved to be short lived and only the hardier varieties have survived. There are enough now. eight in all, to make the bush a curiosity. Mr. Barker’s explanation is that he likes to experiment with plants and this rose bush is about fifteen years old. Branch after branch has been grafted on. The original stock 1s the June or cabbage rose. The width at the top is not less than twenty-five feet, and the height equals the width. There are many stocks or trunks springing from the roots. Carbon is plentifully supplied to intensify the color of the blossoms. Visitors look at and wonder at the beautiful vision which has been produced by patience and ingenuity seconding nature’s generosity. SO SURT And Only Snores Vexed the Listening Circumjacence. ““Terance McCloskey I’ A woman’s voice smote the air shrilly. Forth from behind a pile of lumber in the hollow below the First-street hill, over near the Mail dock, came a very small and very dirty urchin. “And what do you want Terance for?"’ asked another shrill voice. * *‘He do be tearing up Teddy McGlynn's ball.” “Didn’t neether,” said the small boy. “Oh, yer did, yer aid,” chorused half a dozen, other babes. *Just be listenin’ to him,” said Teddy’s mother, “and don’t he be tellin’ ‘it fine?"’ Terance fled, and Teddy set up a howl that was heard a block. Something must be done, but what? A barefooted girl, slim as a bean-pole. whose open mouth revealed the loss of most of her teeth, was equal to the occa- sion. Shedid not shout or call names, not she. A dilapidated milk can was hitched to a piece of pale rope, and the rope was put in Teady’s hand. “Whoo, whoo, whool” screeched the youngster. “Clear the track; bulgine’s comin’.” Terance looked enviously out from be- hind a pile of lumber. The women were pacified, and the snores of a man sleep- ing facedownward on the soft side of a plank alone vexed the listening air. LTl One Bottle And the Weight of a Very Large Trout. Two young men around town were hold- ing an animated discussion in a restaurant while they leisurely sipped their black coffee and told stories. “Tell you what,”’ said one, *‘that was hard Iuck that Harry had.” “How was that?” ““Well, you see, it was just this way. He was down in Santa Clara County fishing. He had a fine outfit and was meeting with very poor luck until he got a bite from a bouncing trovt. Harry’s eyes bulged out when he pulled and found .out the nature of his catch. He pulled and pulled and just as the.fish came out of the water it dropped back again. My, but wasn’t Harry mad! No wonder, that fish weighed two and a half pounds.” “Why, how is that? How did Harry weigh the trout when he didn’t have it in his hands?”’ “0Qh, easy enough—by the scales on the fish.” Dead silence, followed by an order for a small bottle. —_— A Callow Youth of the Period and a Piece of Chalk. Over near the Mail dock some wine tanks are going up. The son of one of the workmen s a brigntboy in the third-grade school. He lives near and dropped in to see his father work. He had a piece of white cbalk in his hand. i “See tbat lad?’ said the fond father «fe'll be some one when he grows up.” | “Yes,” assented his neighbor, approv- ingly. . 'flg‘h’n 1ad wrote something with his chalk on a new tank. “Look at that,” said- the father, “some- thing good, I know.”. The two workmen inspected the inscrip- tion. “Hot stuff.” That is what the callow youth of the pe- riod, with dawning intelligence, had placed on the vat. THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN A (ITY You can’t see what’s to pay ? The deucel! The sewer’s crammed and broken loose ! It’s being forced up hill, I think; Step back! We’ll soon be on the brink; It’s horrible, you know, to get You're brand new patent-leathers wet.” The clubmen then linked arms and strode By circling route to safer road, All arm in arm, and each impressed That he was saving all the rest. Their tale 'the first policeman heard, And hastened floodward at the word. He found no lake nor stream at all. “I'd like,” he cried, “those dudes to maul "Am [ the victim of a wag? Not much! The boys are on a jag. It’s seldom such a form it takes, For, as a rule, it’s toads and snakes. It’s new to walk a mile around To keep from being dryly drowned.” The hungry poor oft bless the hand 4 That from the Parrott mansion grand Gives daily tickets by the score Good in exchange for meals galore. But once a man with brow of pain, Appeared thereat with children twain, Declined the tickets, asked for gold— His folly was his comfort cold. Wild-eyed he looked from left to right— The strange mirage flashed on his sight! “The stream for aye us three shall hide.” He madly rushed as thus he cried. He leaps and falls along the stones, Not one hair wet, but bruised the bones. “He’s’ daft,” patrolmen ‘'soon expressed. The ambulance then did the rest. The fat man frying in the sun Looked down the street where waters run, And saw great crowds go wading through, “Could I but move, I'd be there too.” And so the truth he never knew. He melted quite ere fall of night, Mocked by relief’s mirage in sight. A Forty-niner, keen old man, The wondrous sight he chanced to scan. “ Those pavements give a rare effect— To see a stream you half expect. But I have seen the bay recede From: old Montgomery, and I need - No spectacles to prove that still The waters keep their course down hill. But, blank my eyes, if Grover C., Or Grover’s man, or party, be This next campaign in power put back, I'll grant the world is off its track, That rivers up the hill can flow, That false is true, and fast is slow, And that mirage on Sutter street Is wdter sure as I've got feet.” The Parrot That Is Soothed by Fumes of Nicotine, Mrs. Margaret Burke is the proudest woman south of Market street, and all be- cause she has a parrot that smokes. Mrs. Burke resides on Fifth street, not far from Howard, and her home has a front win- dow where the parrot is hung out in his cage and makes himself a general nuisance. Of course Mrs. Burke don’t mind this. In fact, she seems to be rather proud of the fact that her green screamer can cause her neighbors so much annoyance. It is over two years since Mrs. Burke got her wonderful parrot. She has named him Tip. From the first this creature showed a good dealof the monkey’s imitativeness. He could talk very plainly with little in- struction, and at the same time he was able to imitate the voices of several ani- mals in the neignhborkood. When Tip ‘was at liberty in the room he began to do the same things as he saw his mistress doing. He would jump onto the dinner table and make frantic efforis to use a knife and fork. He would also try hard to drink out of a bottle, which of course convinced Mrs. Burke that she had a treasure. Mrs. Burke was of course proud of the least thing that Tip would do, but when he picked up a pipe one day and: com- menced to smoke her joy knew no bounds and she spent a great deal of time initiat- ing him into the various ways of holding the mouthpiece. At present he is most g;vflcient and gets away with several wlfuls a day. Tip is really so attached to his pipe that ha%u got to have it in :E:L morning before hp has had his break- Tip’s way of smoking is exactly like any man’s. e pipe is of course filled b, Mrs. Burke, although she expects to teacl him to do it himself in a short_time. Thirty-Two Years of Service on the Streetcars. John Adsms Cooper stood on the electrio car on the Brannan-street line and toyed with his somewhat gray whiskers. He had reason to smile, for he was celebrat- ing the thirty-second anniversary of be- ginning service as a carman on a street linein San Francisco and the simultane- ous completion of thirty-two years of con- tinuous work on thnat line. His 62 years rested lightly upon him, and he was gay. “Yes,"” he said, “I think I am the long- est in continuous service of any streetcar employe operating a car in San Francisco, I came to California in 1852, and followed a seafaring life up to 1864. Before I came - here I served in the Mexican War, on the frigate Potomac, and also sailed on deep- sea yoyages. Pulling ropes was hard work, and I came here. I have been running between here and North Beach ever since 1864. If any one in town beats that record I would hke to hear who it is.” Mr, Cooper is a conductor now. —_—— The Advance Of the Pictorial Art in San Francisco. Pictorial art advances in San Francisco. The very latest is four tintypes for a nickel. An able-bodied man is traveling the lower sireets with a banner bearing a device to that effect. A young man' and his pest girl can be *‘took” for 5 cents and be preserved in their youthful beauty to posterity at a price less than possible. . 4 Burrows—Did you ever meet a man down there with one leg named Wilson? Furrows (doubtfully)~What was the name of his other teg?—Washington Evening Times,