Omaha Daily Bee Newspaper, October 25, 1903, Page 24

VCopyright, 103, by 1. B. Warner.) HERE goes the humorist of the Eplscopal church at large,"” eaid a recent Minneapoligs visitor to New York, as Bishop Henry Cod- man Potter, the only head of the upiscopal church in America who has a Coadjutor for other reasons than that of @ctual bodily Infirmity, passed by. “He's ®ot just as much reputation for his wit in our church as he has by reason of his being the head of our most important diocese, “My dear bishop,” a clergyman In a bustling western town is alleged to have 8ald to Bishop Potter, on the occasion of the latter's visit to the former's parish to deliver a lecture, “if—ahem you—ah-—could manage to keep from putting too much— ah--fun into your talk tonight. My peo- ple--ah--take their religion seriously, don't you know.," Bishop Potter's reputation as a humorist 18 widespread; it fs not limited to the organization. of which he is one of the best known heads. This is due to his ability to furnish his own joke whenever it is necessary, and to store way for fu- ture use, when It will be pat, any good story he may hear. —_—— Ban Francisco s still repeating anad laughing over the bon mots which the bishop let drop on the occasion of his visit to that city two years ago, to attend the Eplscopal convention. At that time the citizens we re very much astir because the was to be a visitor within their gates, and they vie with another to honor their Euest, ‘Bha bishop was kept busy declining famous eastern bishop one the Invitations that he had not time to accept, But one invitation that he dia &vail himself of was to oc upy the mag- nificent vesidence of the wealthy William Crocker—one of the milllonaire families, of Which Mrs. Francis Burton Har on and Mrs. Alexander are eastorn representatives, The house is a showy Nob Hiil, where the llonaires built thelr “show place;" ft one, situated upon early California mil- homes, so it is a came to have a double Interest when it was oc upied by the bishop. One day a San Franciscan was showing the group of residences to a friend who was visiting In the city As they &pproached the “Will Crocker" home he Sprang the treasured joke which he had been saving for the right moment. ‘“This,” 8ald he with a flourish, *“ls Mr, Crocker's Pottery.” He dild not recognize the gentieman who was at that moment descending the steps. It was the bishop, who could not help over- hearing, and who had a twinkle in his eye. *“I beg pardon for correcting you,” he said, *“but you are mistaken. This is Bishop Potter's Crockery,” — e The bishop and J. Plerpont Morgan were the most famous guests that San Francisco had at the time, and they were both be- sleged by the press. Mr. Morgan showed his customary disin- elination for all publicity. On the day of arrival, when all the members of the party were being conveyed from the train to the city, the ferryboat was crowded with pho- tographers lying in wait for them. Mr. Morgan dodged here, there, every- where, and' was met by the persistent camera flends at every turn. ‘“How shall 1 get away from them?' he asked in dismay. “I'll help you,"” sald Bishop Potter, thereupon he began a defense of his fr Whenever a kodak appeared he place himself in front of the financle laugh back over his shoulder at the afled Photographer. Once he waved his arm j st In time to spoil a plate that was being sur- reptitiously exposed. He spread his coat at the critical moment of another. On every occasion he had his joke for the disap- pointed man, so that the whole army had to vote him a good fellow in spite @f the trouble he caused them. “Mr. Morgan positively refuses to look pleasant this morning,” the bishop affably told one man. “He must be properly coaxed to smile.” ‘When the end of the twenty-minute ferry trip was reached, the bishop crowded with the rest of the passengers to the forward deck. There he found the customary chain suspended across the stairs and the custo- and nd. would , and mary sign reading, “Passengers are for- bidden to go upon these stairs until the boat stops.” “I want to go upon those stairs,” some- one overheard Bishop Potter say “Why?" inquired Mr. Morgan. “Because of that sign,” answered the right reverend gentleman. “I have the same impulse,’ put in the bishop of Albany. “Come on,"” sald Bishop Potter. And the two of them ducked their digni- fied heads like two naughty boys crawling under a circus tent and sneaked under the chain, one ecceleslastical hat being badly disarranged by the performance. “There’'s nothing interesting about this lower deck,” sald the bishop of Albany, looking about. The boat had not yet stopped. “Not about the deck,” explained Bishop Potter impatiently, “but dou't you see the REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES pleasure in 1t? We were to'd by that sign not to do it.*" —_—— It 1s a well known fact that the bishop disapproves of the reckless glving of alms. He has sharp censure for the kind of giving that fosters crime and deceit. He believes in saving alms for the deserving needy. Somebody relates the story of the bishop's being stopped by a street beggar one even- ing as he was hurrying home. He is never in too much of a hurry to stop when he thinks he may be of use, 80 he paused, even though he was a hungry man and dinner was awaiting him a long way off, “What's the trouble?” he asked the man. “Can you help a poor blind man to a night's lodgin'?"" began the usual whine, “I haven't a penny in my pocket, sir.' The man was a hearty specimen with a patch over one eye, the other being closed. The bishop turned his glance for an instant, and when he looked back he saw, In one quick instant, the hitherto closed eye of the beggar giving a wise wink to a friend who stood beside him. ' The bishop dived into his pocket and brought forth a bogus coin that had been passed on him a litt'e while before. “Don’'t you think if I give you this alms will suit your affiction?" he said. il bishop has a gentle laugh up his for the extremists of the antique craze. le lives in a modern home, and he does not believe in carrying the fad for antique adornments to excess, “Let's have old things when they are useful or beau tiful,” he says, “but what's the sense in living like our ancestors when we know how to be more comfortable than they?" one my The sleeve He has a family of friends who carry this fad to its extreme limit and the bishop has merrily rallied them many a time on their manla, “Don’'t take to cliff dwelllng for the sake of being fashionable,” he said to them once. His own home displays a good electric bell that announces the caller by a shrill modern burr that resounds loudly. But one day when le called at his friend's house he was surprised to find no button which he might press, In its stead was an old bronze knocker of rare and early design, FOR The bishop applied himself vigorously to the task of rapping. No answer. Mean- while he could see smoke coming out of the kitchen chimney, and, by the hour, he knew that some one was preparing dinner. He was anxious to see the family, for a pressing matter had caused him to call, so he was tantalized by the sight of the smoke, But the gate that led to the side entrance was locked, so there was no possible way to enter except at the front. He knocked harder. No answer. At last, tired of wait- ing, he took out a card and scrawled across 1ts back: “I have decided not to come in, after all, as I have carelessly kept on twentieth cen- tury garb.” HS>— A member of a well known sclentific so- clety of New York tells of the bishop’'s be- ing invited to address that learned body, and when he arose the natural expectation was that he would begin with some eulogy of the wonders of science. But, instead, the scientists were surprised with the follow- ing: “Gentlemen,” he sald, “‘a lively young person tells me that she has at last d's- covered the use of a professor. She thought he was a creature made to look savere in the schoolroom and to ask unanswerable questions. These things were of no use. But now she has been to a play wherein the professor is p'ctured as a most amusing personage with goggles and gre:n cotton umbrel'a, ‘He was a perfect fcil to set off the noble hero and the charming h roine,’ she explains. “That's surely what a profes. sor is for—a background as a reli>f aga.n:t which the rest of the world may look lightful by contrast!" " —_—— The bishop is not only a good talker, but is a good listener, and he can appreciate the other man's joke. A friend told him an anecdote about *“Boss" Tweed that he enjoyed heartily, and afterwards in- corporated into one of his published pipers with the friend's permission. He is averse to adopting the usual method of telling an- other's story in the first person, This tale runs to the effect that Tweed, on one occasion, was standing with a gro ip in the mayor's office, when a large diamend de- once Bishop Potter as a Humorist DISTRICT JUDGE, FOURTH JUDICTIAL DISTRICT OF NEBRASKA. —as big as a strawberry, the bishop says— rolled upon the floor. Some one of the group picked it up and passed it around to find its owner, ¢ Not mine,” said one after another. Tweed fumbled with his garments for & minute, then reached for the stone, ‘It must be mine,” he said, ‘I see I've lost one of my suspender buttons,” Sentence Sermons A liar needs no label. Life is the laboratory of religion. Our phrases are but the garments ef truth. A day without a good deed leaves you in debt. Happiness is never picked up on the bare gain counter, The best' men are always looking for the best in men He became the Man of Sorrows for the sorrows of men. You cannot carry a crooked rule along the straight road. The road of prejudice never leads to the realm of truth, It is only tomorrow's burdens that break the back of today. It is a cheap makeshift to mock at whag you cannot make, K2ep your complaints out of your hear$ and they will die of neglect, The more of a man the saint is the more of a saint the man will be, A brotherly boost is often worth a whole lot of sisterly sympathy, A men has no business with religion whe has no religion with his business. You cannot get up an orchestra composed of people who blow their own horns. It is no use a man's trying to be holy unless Le has made up his mind to be honest, Flowery language is just as likely to fne dicate a seedy character as a saintly one, You cannot pray to your Father while you are figuring on preylng on your brother, It makes all the difference whether doubt is your terminus or but a station en youm track.~Chicago Tribune .