The Nonpartisan Leader Newspaper, January 7, 1918, Page 12

Stick Finds It Hard To Use Camouflage BYI. B.RIPP, THE REPORTER, EER Mistur Editur bin havin’ a hard time to git Stick to submit to this cam- back frum the trip to Crystial park, whur we had gone with Crafty and a couple uv hiz frends, Stick wuz still hot under the collar an’ had a hard time to keep hiz shurt on. He de- clared he didn’t see no sense in actin’ the hypocrit with them fellers; that what he wanted to do wuz to bawl ’em out, tell ’em what he thought uv ’em and inform ’em where to hed in at. “But,” I reezened with him, ‘“by conceelin’ our identities we can git a lot uv dope that’ll help a lot in blowin’ the bottom outen the whole opposition. We must be az wize as sarpents an’ az harmless az doves.” This wuz hard fur him to swaller but he swallered it, made a wry face an’ sed, sez he: . “I'Il'do my best, Ripp,-ole sport, do my best.” We shuck hands an’ mutually pledged ourselves to keep under cov- - er, lay low, an’ beein’ az we wuz the children uv light we agreed that we wood -be az wize az “the children uv darkness in this generashun. So. we got up early next mornin’, took a street car to Manitou, intendin’ to go to the top uv Pikes Peak over the cogwheel railrode, an’ we did— an’ thereby hangs a tall. When we got to the cogwheel sta- shun an’ walked into the depot who did we frends? Nobody, 1 ansur, nobody— except a lot uv uther peeple. Az sune as we'lamped them an’ they lamped us thar wuz a mutual charge; we'all around, exchanged mutual greetin’s an’ found to our mutual delite an’ hi- a-goin’ to the top uv Pikes Peak also. *This iz indeed a happy coinci- dent,” - exclaimed Crafty, *“an’ I'm trip.” “We all-agreed that hiz supposishun wuz rite. But Crafty’'s feathers .fell, ‘hiz mouth drooped at the corners an’ "a 1ook v dispair cum into hiz’' ize I have. " vious day. ouflage bizness. When we got ° e thar but Crafty an’ hiz two - met in the middle, shuck han’s all larious satisfacshun that they wusz shore- we’ll have a most deliteful * when he looked at Stick an® evidently “We got out on the highest spot on the peak and stood viewin’ with awe and amazement upon the wunderful vishun that lay spread out before us.” remembered hiz conduct on the pre- I seed his perdickament an’ give him a sly wink an’ a signifi- cant nod in ‘the directshun uv Stick. This seamed to pleeze Crafty an’ the lite uv hilarity returned to 'hiz ize. Then we went out an’ boarded the trane which wuz about ready to start. It took about an hour to git to the top an’ we all got off the trane an’ took a walk. We got out on the high- est spot. on the peak an’ stood viewin’ with awe an’ amazement upon the wunderful vishun that lay spread out before us. STICK SHOWS HOW IT COULD BE IMPROVED “That shorely iz a grate country— a grate nashun—that lays out before us an’ beneath our feet, as it whur,” I sed,'feelin’ a tide uv eloquence surge thru my breast. Crafty an’ hiz two P . _frends agreed with me but Stick never sed nuthin’. He jist stood thar, hiz hat in hiz hand, the wind a-tossin’ the snowy lock an’ whistlin’ thru the bunch uv alfalfa on his chin. L “Aint that grate?” I sed, sez I, to Stick. z “Well, yes,” he replied, sorter dreamy like, “but it could be greater —an’ it will be grater sum day,” he koncluded, without. lookin’ around, hiz ize still piercin’ the clear atmos- fear that thinly valed the lan’scape. “How cud it be enny greater?” ast Crafty, puzzeledly. “It cud be a grater country ef-ef— the peeple run it—ef the real peeple Tun it, an’ it will be a grater country now purty sune fur the peeple iz a- goin’ to run it—goin’ to run it in the inturest ‘uy all the peeple an’ not in . the inturest uv Special Privilege.” Crafty looked scart while cucumber noze yudged Fathed wl}h hiz thumb. “Whady mean ‘run by the peeple, fur the peeple an’ uv the peeple?’ ™ “ ecum back Crafty, gitten’ het up. “I mean that the Big Interests are havin’ too much say in this country an’ tryin’ to run it in the inturest uv a lot uv big corporashuns, but now the Nonpartishun Leeg iz goin® to rize. up llke the dust uy t.he desert nnd sweep, the politickle gangsters offen vie face uv the earth jist like this ~i/ind is sweepin’ ciean ’em up.” Crafty turned pale, hiz hart went thumpity-thump an’ hiz teeth gritted like a feller with a tape-worm. “What ’er ye tryin’ to give us?” roared Crafty, steppin’ around in front uv Stick an’ shakin’ all over like a hungry dog on a cold, rainy day. STICK TELLS PARTY WHAT FARMERS: WILL DO’ “I mean to be givin’ ye the dod- gasted truth—nuthin’ but the dod- gasted truth. Nonpartishun Leeg iz goin’ to put the gangsterq outen bizness,” replied Stick, hiz ize a-snappin’ an’ hiz bunch uv alfalfa stickin’ strait out towards Crafty’s noze. “I mean that the farm- ‘ ers uv this nashurn iz goin’ to organ- ize, git together, put up their own candydates an’ grab the powers uv the guver’ment an’ give the peeple a square deal once in their lives—once in the history uv the cuntry—that’s what I mean—that’s what I’'m givin’ ye.n “Do you mean to stand thar an’ tell me that the guver’ment aint run in the inturest uv the peeple? Do you mean to tell me that a bunch uv ruff- necked, low-browed, narrow-eyed clod-hoppers haz got sense anuf to tun a guver'ment—to maik laws, to administer laws? Why farmers haint got branes anuf to run a peanut stand .—all they can do is slop hogs an’ they can’t do that decently, they—"’ ‘“Here, you dingbusted bundle uv dog meat, you dodrotted hunk uv worthlessness—you open your mug in that strain agin an’ I'll nock you offen the top uv this peak an’ land you astraddle uv the devil’s tombstone down in the garden uv the gods—why you”—an’ he made a dive fur him, but Crafty ducked to one side an’ I reached out and lade a warnin’ hand on Stick’s shoulder. “Clam yourselves, clam yourselves, gentlemen, clam yourselves,” I sed. “Don’t you call us no gentiemen— him no gentleman, I mean,”’ snarled Stick. “He haint no gentleman, he haint no—he’s a, he’s a— ‘“Men, men,” 1 yelled, “be clam, I say, or you’ll fall down an’ run this peak through yourselves—you'll git run in fur disorderly conduct, you’ll be pinched fur disturbing the quiet * an’ solitude uv this monument to American attempts an’ noble efforts.” “Stick!” I-yelled agin, ‘‘don’t you hear me. Camouflaze! Camouflaze! Arn’ do it durned equick.” Stick looked at me at the menti- ‘shun uv that word. It seemed that alil the top uv this, nountaln—clean ‘em up, absolutely I'm tellin’ ye that the-- we had planned suddenly cum back tochim. A knowin’ lite cum in hiz ize an’ hiz excltement cooled down. STICK TURNS ON THE CAMOUFLAGE “Camouflaze,” I repeated, " givin’ Stick a significant nudge in the ribs. All uv a sudden Stick busted out in a big laff, an’ turnin’ to Crafty, slap- ped him on the shoulder, and sed, %ez he: “Purty good actin’, hay?¥ Crafty looked up an’ seein’ a pleas- ant twinkle in hiz ize, brightened up’ an’ reached fur Stick’s hand. ‘‘Say, Stick, you scart me to deth, you did. I am Ssorter nervus, you know, an’ it don’t take much to set me to goin’, an’ honestly I wisht you fellers woodn’t do it enny more.” Then we all turned an’ went back to the stashun an’ went into the rest- yer-ant to have sum hot coffee. When we wus seeted around the table Craf- ty reached over an’ tappin’ Stick on the arm, sed, sez he: “You two is the greatest fellers I ever seed. Several times you have scart the tar outen me. but it allus turns out all rite. But you have kon- vinced me uv one thing, an’ that iz that you fellers iz alrite—you know the game an’ can play it to a fare-you- well. So I've maid up my mind that I can use you to grate advantage in my wurk uv hedden off the Nonparti- shun leeg.” Stick winced at this state- "ment, jist like you had stuck bim with a hat pin, but I kicked him on the shin an’ he thought uv camouflaze and 80 took a good holt uv himself an’ sot tite. IT 18 HARD FOR STICK TO PLAY THE GAME % Then Crafty{weént on an’ outlined hiz plans. . He explained how he wuz linin” up the opposishun at Denver, how he had one ‘uv the big papers turned agin us, also how he had sum members uv the last legislature that had bid with us fur awhile turned again us, an’ how that he had horn- swoggled them into the noshun to git the Leeg incorporated an’ thus git it under controll uv its enemies. He explained that ef we got it incorpo- rated then it wood be a legal person an’ could sue an’ be sued at law an’ that wood give a chance to git it tied up in the courts, discourage the mem- bers an’ thus put it on the rocks, He explained how that he had al- ready sent Slipry an’ Dodger up to Denver to put the skeem thru, an’ that he expected results in a few daze. He sed he wood go up thar in a couple uv - daze an’ wanted us to go with him. ~Bein” as we wuz farmers, he sed we (Continued on page 21) “But even after that | had a hard time to konvlnco Stick that we should go on wlth the camoufla:e bizness.” . ros 7 > p o 4 A RS & g 'Q - o0 e - i O Bt | gl X & & PSR <V { « » o i 5 Li® i mF R