Evening Star Newspaper, May 22, 1929, Page 22

MONEY FOR NOTHING ‘ By P. G. Wodehouse (Copyright, 1920. by North American Newspaper of Preceding Instaliments. n roll, who is in love with Pa- ia Wyvern. ‘sees a menace to his hepes tri in the feud between his uncle and her father. Star) | SECOND INSTALLMENT. } (Continued From Yester HERE is something about those repellent words Healthward Ho that has a familiar ring. You feel that you have heard them before. And then you remember. | They have figured in letters to the daily papers from time to time. ! , "The Strain of Modern Life. | “To the Editor the Tim: “Sir: In connection with the recent eorrespondence in your columns on the of Modern Life, I wonder if any | ur readers are aware that there s in the county of Worcestershire an establishment expressly designed to eorrect this strain. At Healthward Ho (formerly Graveney Court), under the auspices of the well known American physician and physical culture expert, | Doctor Alexander Twist, it is possible for those who have ailowed the demands | of modern life to tax their physique too greatly to recuperate in ideal sur-| roundings and by means of early hours. | wholesome cxercise and Spartan fare to build up once more their debilitated It is the boast of Doctor Twist that he makes New Men for Old “I am, sir, yrs., ete., “MENS SANA IN CORPORE SANO.” “Do We Eat Too Much? “To the EZitor Daily Mail. “Sir: The correspondence in your columns on the above subject calls to mind 2 remark made to me not long ago by Doctor Alezander Twist, the well known American physician and phsical culture expert. ‘Overeating,’ said Doctor Twist emphatically, ‘is the curse of the Age’ “At Healthward Ho (formerly Grave- | ney Court). his phrsical culture est lishment in Worcestershire, whol exercise and Spartan fare are the o der of the day, and Doctor Twist ha T understand. worked mirac] the most apparently hopeless “It 15 the boast of Dr. Twist makes new men for old. “I am, J cases. | that he “Yrs. ete., “MODERATION IN ALL THINGS. Sheu!d the Chaperon B: Restored? “To the Editor, Daily Express. : . more erying need than modern Newspaper Alliance and Metropolitan Bervice.) i Hugo moved to the window, looked out, and started violently. “Great Scott!" he exclaimed. | He gaped down at the group below. | Mr. Carmody and colleagues had now | discarded the skipping ropes and were | performing _some unpleasant looking bending and stretching exercises, hold- ing their hands above their heads and | swinging painfully from what one may | loosely term their waists. It was a spectacle calculated to astonish any nephe | “How long has he got to go on like | that?” asked Hugo, awed Dr. Twist looked at his watch. | “They'll be quitting soon now. Then a cold shower and rubdown, and theyll | be through till lunch.” | “Cold_shower?" | “Yes." “You mean to sav you make Unele | Lester take cold shower baths?" | “That's right.” | A look of respect came into Hugo's | face as he gazed upon this master of men. Anybody who, in addition to making him tie himself in knots under | » blazing sun, could lure Uncle Lester | within 10 yards of a cold shower bath | was entitled to credit. 1 “I suppese, after all this” he said, | “they do themselves pretty well at | lunch?” i “They have a lean mutton chop a place. with green vegstbles and dry | toast.” Is that all>” “That's ell.” “And to drink?” “Just water.” “Followed, of courte, by a spot ef port?” “No, sir.” “No port?” “Certainly not.” | “You mean—literally—no port?” | “Not a drop. If your old man had | gone easler on the port, he'd not have | needed to come to Heaithward Ho.” | “T sav." said Hugo, “did you invent that name? “Sure. Why?" Oh, T don't know. T just thought I'd Say. while T think of it said Dr.| Twist. “have you any cigarettes?” | “Oh, rather.” Hugo produced a bulg- | ing ease. “Turkish this side, Virginian that.” “Not for me. I was only going to say that, when vou mest your uncle, just bear in mind he isn't allowed tobaceo.” | “Not allowed . . . Vou mean to say | vou tis Uncle Lester into a lover's knot. | stuff is Yeally mine. thoot him under a cold shower, push a | lean chop into him accompanied by wa- | ter, and then don't even let the poor | THE EVENING STAR. WASHINGTON. D. C. WEDNESDAY. MAY 99, 1029, NN S e S . “Mr. Carmody and his colleagnes had now discharged the skipping-ropes and were performing some unpleasant-looking bending and stretching exer. cises, holding their hands above their heads and swinging painfully from what one may loosely call their waists.” no cash in sight whatever. “Though when I say ‘touch,’ he went on, “I don't mean quite that. The a few thousand, you see, but most in- judiciously made Uncle Lester my with cigarettes.” | “Do what?” | “Bribe him with cigarettes. After for a while most of these birds would give their soul for a coffin-nail.” | { but, failing that, there seemed to be | Twist. “But don't you try to bribe him When a man’s been exercising and has got himself into a perfect lather of sweat - | “Keep it clean,” said Hugo coldly. My father left me | they have been taking the treatment | “There is no need to stress the physi- | cal side, Oh, very well, then, I suppose | { I shall have to trust to tact and charm soul and a mighty singer in the bath, but he could not feel very sanguine. However, the Carmodys were a bull- | dog breed. He decided to have & pop at it (Continued In Tomorrow's Star.) | James C. | Foreign Policy Association of New York. |EDUCATORS CRITICIZED FOR NOT USING RADIO James C. McDonald Points Out Possibilities at Adult Edu- cation Session. By the Associated Press. CHAPEL HILL, N. C, May 22— | Professional educators were criticized here yesterday for “failure, in general, | to make use of the radio for adult edu- cation.” The indictment was brought by McDonald, chairman of the who spoke this morning at the second NATIONAL \BISCUIT PREMI ] ]dny'a session of the American Associa- tion for Adult Education bef held | at_the University of North Carolina. Quoting President Hoover's state- | ment that “the radio must now be con- sidered as a great agency of pudfic ser- | vice,” Mr. McDonald pointed out the | unique educational possibilities of the | radio. Other speakers at {h» morning ses- sion were Edgar W. Kniglt, professor of edication in the University of North Carolina: Elmer Scott of 'the Dailas Civie Federation: Wilson Barrett, sec- retary of the National Board of Review of Motion Fictu: and Edward C. Lindeman of the New York School of | Social Work. | Nearly 50,000 pscple are employed in Mexican textile mills 22 This week UM REC.U.S. PAT.OFR ' SODA CRACKERS For soupe, for salads, for dainty sandwiches. Crisply browa with just a tang of salt. You'll eat one right after anothes Sold both in packages and by the pound. old chap get his lips around A single | trustee, and I'm not allowed to get| Hugo started. He had not thought|of manner. But I wish to goodness middie- | at the capital without the old blighter's | of this, but, now that it had been called | T hadn't got to spring business matters aged man who has allowed himself to | gasper?” get ‘out of shape.’ | “At Healthward Ho (formerly Grav- eney Court), in Worchestershire, where Dr.” Alexander Twist, the well known American physician and physical cul- turs expert, ministers to such cases, wonders have bren achieved by means | of simple fare and mild, but rigular, exercise, | “It is the boast of Dr. Twist that he makes new men for old. “I am, sir, “Yrs. ete. ! “VIGILANT.” These letters and many others, though bearing a pleasing | ed from 5 t P . among that class of the public| that consistently doss itself too well | when ths gong goes and yet is never | wholly free from wistful aspiraticns to- ward a beiter liver, they had created a scattered, but quite satisfactory, in- tsrest in Healthward Ho. Clients hld, enrolled themselves on the doctor's ks, and now, on this Summer after- noon, he was enabled to look down | from' his study window at a group of | no fewer than 11 of them. skipping with skipping-ropes, under the eye of his_atle and conscientious assistant, ex-Sergt. Maj. Flannery. Sherlock Holmes—and even, on one of his bright days, Dr. Watson—could have told at a glance which of those muffied figures was Mr. Flannery. He was the only one who went in, in- stead of out, at the waist-line. the others were well up in the class of | man whom Julius Caesar once ex- pressed a desire to have about him. And pre-eminent among them in stout- ness, dampness and general misery was of Rudge Hall several degrees the most unhapp: ing member of this little band of mar- tyrs was due to his distress being mental as well as physical. He was allowing his mind, for the hundredth time, to awell on the paralyzing cost of these ygienic proceedings. Thirty guineas a week, thought Mr. Carmody as he bounded up and down. Four pound ten a day . .. Three shil- lings and ninepence an hour . . . Three | solid farthings a minute . . . To medi- | tate on these figures was like turning a | sword in his heart. For Lester Car-| mody loved money as he loved nothing | else in this world except a good dinfier. Dr. Twist turned from the window. A maid had appeared bearing a card on 2 salver. | “Show him in.” said Dr. Twist. hav- ing examined this. And presently there entered a lissom young man in a gray flannel suit. “Doctor Twist?" “Yes, sir.” The newcomer seemed a little sur- prised. It was as if he had been ex- pecting something rather more impres- sive, and was wondering why, if the proprietor of Healthward Ho had the abllity he claimed, to make new men for old, he had not taken the oppor- | tunity of effecting some alterations in himself. For Dr. Twist was a_ small man, and weedy. He had a snub nose end an expression of furtive slyness.' And he wore a waxed mustache. | “My name’s Carmody,” he said.| *“Hugo Carmody.” | “Yes. 1 got your card.” 1 ould 1 have a word with my| uncle?” i “Sure, if you don’t mind waiting a ! minute. Right now,” explained Dr. Twist. with a gesture toward the win- Good Eyesight Is a Blessing Working, reading or being otherwise employed under ar- tificial light tends to weaken the eyes. You may maintain perfect vision if your eyes are carefully examined and the proper support given them. Consu't our experts at the first sign of eye strain. Moderate Prices —Registered Optometrist in Attendance of.oftalincne. Optometrists Optieians 935 F Street s at the Same Address All ‘pe “That's right.” ‘Well, all I can say is,” said Hugo. “it’s no life for a refined Caucasian.” Daz>d by the information he had re- | ceived, he began to potter aimlessly about the room. He was not particu Jarly fond of his uncle, Mr. Carmody’s practice of giving him no allowance and keeping him imprisoned all the year 1ound at Rudge would alons have been enough to check anything in the nature of tenderness, but he did not think he deserved quite all that seemed to be coming to him at Healthward Ho. He mused upon his uncle. A complex matter. A man with Lester Carmody's loathing for expenditure ought by rights to have been a simple liver, existing off hot milk and triturated sawdust, like an American millionaire. That Fate should have.given him, together with his prudence in money matters, a reck- lessness as regarded the pleasures of the table seemed ironic. “I see they've quit,” sald Dr. Twist, | with a glance out of ths window. “If | you want to have a word with your | uncle, you could do it nmow. No Bad | news. I hope?” “If there is, I'm the one that's going to get it. Between you and me,” said | Hugn, “T've come to try to touch him | for a bit of money.” “Is that so?” said Dr. Twist, inte said Hugo. “Five hundred | e quid, to be exact.” He spoke a little despondently, for, having arrived at the window again, he | was in a position now to take a good | look at his uncle. And so forbidding | had bodily toil and mental disturbance rendered the latter's expression that he | found the fresh young hopes with which he had started out on_this expedition rapidly ebbing awa: If Mr. Carmody | were to burst—and he looked as if he | might do so at any moment—he, Hugo, being his nearest of in, being his nearest of kin, would inherit. Tae Hecurz Co. “F Street at Seventh” Powder Box Complexion Treatments —are not ordinary massages because they are Scientific Manipulations of the face muscles and each Treatment differs in accordance with the individual skin tex- ture. There is a Specific Jaquet Treatment for Dry Skin Oily Skin Acne Loose, Flabby Skin Sallow Skin Facial Lines Hands Enlarged Pores Eyes Discolored Skin Double Chin Aging Skin Jaquc!' Treatments Two Dollars Up Powder Box. Heeht Co.) ( Fifth Floor, The consent. And now a pal of mine in to his attention, he saw that it was on him on top of what seems to have London has offered me a share in a | ;;:r mg‘l:l;ooclub he’s starting, if I will {MOSt certainly an idea. | been a slightly hectic morning.” up “And don’t keep him standing around | . s s | i S I R o _!lie shot his cuffs, pulled down his “And what T ask myself.” said Hugo. | to get under that shower as soon as | “Aistcoat. and walked with a resolute “is will Uncle Lester part? That's what | possible.” | step out of the room. He was about énnfck"my“”' 1 can't say I'm beiting | ';I suppose llrn;’x}dn't ted]l him n]\a(.‘! to try to get into the ribs of a man % | owing to my pleading and persuasion. | '\Prom what T have seen of Mr. Car- | you've consented o Jet him 'off & cold | *No: foF & lifetime, had been saving mody, I shouldn't say that parting was | shower today?” | up to be a miser and who, even apart the thing he does best.” | iNo, s from this trait in his character, held ‘He's got absolutely no gift for it “It would help,” urged Hugo. “It|the subversive view that the less money whatever,” said Hugo gloomil | might just sway the issue, as it were.” |young men had the better for them. ‘Well, T wish you luck, | ““Sorry. He must have his shower.| Hugo was a gay optimist, cheerful of | als Imported In beige, beige- and-white, beige- and-brown, beige and color com- binations, white, and black-and- white. In all sizes. 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