Evening Star Newspaper, January 17, 1926, Page 89

[ THE SUNDAY STAR, WASHINGTON, D. C, JANUARY 17, 1926 —PART 5. Rapid-Fire Cabinets, Unlucky Possessions and Some Odd Queries Although “We’re Not Superstitious,” It’s BY NINA WILCOX PUTNAM. deigh 4 coat_over for Queen on it, kid, day, and 1 have for my lter 3 n spreading h mud puddle \beth, *'Step is your luck mine, too. I only regret th but one coat to lay dow count o And how true it is that some things brin viding you believe they as proved t lckily 1 ver the cook Demennor's igh to beat up the t rece wire and heard tha leaving over to Mt d qu ladies in up and sat dow soon the doo there and hurried Well, it was, sctually st T {ook her Surprising How Things Happen “WELL, ANYWAYS, I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO GET HOME ALIVE AND WITHOUT BEING ARRESTED." why you ought to be ashamed bags, and pst h asked there anythir for found she we was | her. ideas, I wouldn't be so child- why what harm can a feather nd a few opals do? Well, she of course they can't do any harm, I know that, so you really won't | mind keeping them until I get back? this time who woul Mabel Bush, the one tF Toe Bush of the Hawthos somethir But no. for a some 2 Empor merely going weeks and had she wanted to she was gone. ok A SAY. dear, she says when she had got her breath, I wonder would vou mind taking care of my goldfish while I and Joe is out in Kansas vis iting mother. He's a real sweet little feller, ain’'t vou, Otto? See how cute | he is, Jennie> And he don't bite or anything unless he's crossed. With that she hauled out one of the mean est looking goldfish I e saw in my life. It give me a awful nny look right off, but naturally I merely savs why hello, Otto, nice Otto, pretty fel ler, of course I'll take care of him, Mabel, what does he eat? Oh fi cakes she says, or any old thing. Now £0 to vour Aunt Jennie, Otto, that the bo: Well, T took his glas: it on the table, a lit isy over how the new cook would feel ahout another mouth to feed after 1 had told her there was only three in the family. But before I got a chance to | do any heavy worrying Mabel had pulled a wild-looking fern out from | a handbag and set the poor helpless | thing at my feet. There! she says, I'm sure you won't mind looking after that, all you got to do is water it once a day with double -filtered water, brush its leaves, pick the spiders and seeds off it, and give it a little sun shine. Then before I had a chance to kick ! she was after me with another coupla bundles. This is just the canary, she says, and here, my d is my pea- ock fan and my opal pin. Of course T'm not a bit superstitious, but I a ways say there is no use taking sil ‘hances, and there have been three wrecks around mother’s neizhborhood lately, and 1 hate to leave them in the house in case burglars was to break In, 50 you don’t mind if T leave them with you, do you? Why Mabel Bush, I says, do you mean to tell me vou are superstitious 1t park with me while | cock fan for safe keeping. about taking them things with you? of course not, dear, but »u ouzht to take them overcome such non- Well, Mabel wouldn't insult my in- snce by taking them things off plice once she had brought them, ft them and went on her way er she had done so, why I put the live stock around the diming room, {and then I didn't quite know where to put that opal pin and Mabel's pea- Of course I didn't have the faintest feelin | about keeping them in the house, even with a new cook there, so I let ‘em lay where she put them. Then I picked up & pin off the floor, | walking around so’s to make sure the | point was toward me, and went out in the kitchen to ask Mary, the new cook, did she know anybody owning + second-hand black cat they didn't need? Not that I really thought it would do any good, but some people have the idea a biack cat is lucky. and_while I personally myself cer- tainly don’t believe in any such non sense, why as long as I had the idea in my head I thought I might as well get a black cat to kinda counteract | the idea of that fan and opals. Hie JELL, it seems Mary had a cat meeting my specifications up to ner house, and she offered to go right up and get it, but I wasn't taking any chances of letting her out. oh no, don’t bother. is it And she say 113th St. That number, of course, to myself, now don't be silly, it is a pure coincidence, you go get that cat just the same. So I did, and there was a ladder standing over the front door when I got there. Not that I minded this any more then poison, and naturally I hadn't come all that long way in order to be turned back mere childish superstition. So nt under the ladder and knocked on the door, and after a while some- body put their head out the window and says what do you want? And I says, Mary <he was when I left home, her daughter had a black cat. And the party in the window says Mary daughter ain’t ever here Fridays, but I'll get you the cat. So she done so in a bag., and my good luck started right away. Well anyways, 1 was lucky enough So I says | I will go, where | no. 13 West | didn’t | sound awful good to me, but I says | that's ‘my cook, at least | told me | to get home alive and without being arrested in spite of the bloody mur- der that animal was yelling. And I was lucky with it another way, too, on account no sooner was that cat established in our home then I no longer had to bother feeding any gold | fish. I didn't even haf to bury it, the { nice kittye attended to all that. Naturally, however, I had to re- place Otto, so I ordercd another poor fish of exactly the same pattern, or- dered it kept down in the fish depart- ment of the Emporium until Mabel got ready to come back. It was just as well, anyways, on account the new cook clalmed she never could of stood the noise it Cidn't make Now of course I wasn't one bit superstitious about them opals being in the house, but I have to admit I commence dropping teaspoons right after Mabel parked her stuff with me. Not that I believe it really is unlucky to drop a spoon, but once | idea, why I felt there wouldn't be |any actual harm in doing everything T could to counteract the thought | And so it was certainly rather cheer. { ing when Junior brought in a nice | norseshoe with three nafls in it. I d a good time gilding it up and painting a few forget-me-nots on it, s0’s nobody would think anything peculiar when I hung it up over the parlor mantel. And nobody did, not even when by accident in hanging it. I happened to brush Mabel's peacock fan off the mantel and into the open fire. T felt awful bad about this, and what to do certainly was the question. It was one thing to page a new goldfish, but not a soul I knew kept even one pea- cock, and so the only thing I could nope’ for that Mabel had all her stuft well insured. I wouldn't want to lay the blame on any of Mabel's belongings, I am not that kind of & fool. but it's the truth that the very day T bought a picture postal of a peacock in order to make | things up to Mabel the best I could, why somebody, the cat, so the cook sald, left the dining room window open and let Mabel's fern freeze, and of course the only one of the same style our florist had In stock was twice as big and four times a But that didn't matter so bad, because all I would have to do when she come back would be to say look. dear, what wonderful care I have taken of vour plant, just see how it has grown and ete * x % OT Bozo! As If that wasn't enough, the darn canary bird she had left on my hands commenced moulting. We could hear him at it every morn. ing, early, and never onca got dressed and down In time to stop him. So I had to go spend a couple or three dol- expensive. | |and ask the new: I got the | | | | | | | stitlous, | certainly brough | Kldded me lars on hair-tonic, and after he drank the first couple of bottles he begun to look better. Just the same he had a distinctly shingle bobbed appearance by the time I got a letter from Mabel telling where she would be home in two days and if it wasn't too much hother, would I mind ordering milk and ice, and loaning them a little coal, and running over to air the house and tell the furnace man to build a fire )Aper man to com- mence leaving the Morning Yell again. And she hoped it wouldn't be too much bother? So T done like she asked, and in addition carted all her stuff over for her—all, that is to say, except them opals. Look as I could, T wasn't able to locate that anyplace. T stubbed my toe, looking, and every one knows that means you're going some place where you're not welcome, and how could I expect to be welcome without that jewel? The cook got sore when I asked 1f she had seen the darn thing, and says well. If she wasn't trust there was no use in her staying any longer. So she took her bag, wages und departure. And still T couldn’t find no pin, so T decided, well, that cook never would of left me flat llke that and walked out unless she really had stolen it, after all! Not that I'm the least super. but T might of known I wouldn’t have a minute's luck with opals In the house. T don't bellave in any superstition in the world, but there has certainly been nothing go right since Mabel left them stones here. and what and the world am I | gonner tell her when I see her tomor- row? Well, naturally there wasn't nothing to do except tell the truth. And when Mabel comes home, and I over there to her house with ever: thing ready for her like she had asked, 5 savs how lovely and neigh it I'm afraid it's been rrible lot of bother. Why, of cour: says, not in the least, darling, it been no bother at all, it's been a pleas. ure. But, I says, I got bad news for vou, I lost vour opal pin, dear, not that I'm one bit superstitious, but it ] me bad luck all the it was with me, and now it's gone. And she says. whv Jennle Jules, she |#nd dogs 1 didn't | &9t it there. I took it along with me, | 1re" says, It was never there at Ie after all. on aceount of the way Jout belng superstitious. ave her one look. No! I VS, meaning ves. So vou never left I savs. Well, T Euess there is one superstition T do belleve in, after all which is that when a person's nose itches it means they are gotng to kiss a fool, and so, if vou've got a mirror handy. T belleve 111 with right now = TR hiee (Copsright. 1028.) Graphic Reports of French Politics BY STEPHEN LEACOCK. | PARIS, 10:30 AL | OTHING this morning mt!—l mated the imminence of a | cabinet crisis. The sky was | f a spotless serenity and the | whole aspect of the city one | of brightness and gayety. The hotels | were full of tourists, the shops were | erowded, the fountains were running, | the Punch and Judy show was play- | ing In the Champs Elysees and the | French franc, which had shown signs | of restlessness the day before, had passed a quiet night The Chamber of Deput had hardly met at 10 o Palais Bourbon when M in his seat and asked the premier if he knew what time f was. M Briand replied t his watch had stopped. M. Painleve, rushing onto the floor In front of the tribune, de- manded from the Chamber whether & man whose watch had stopped was to he premier of Frar intly th Shou <. however, k in the Painleve rose W was in an Briund!” Atta- Aristide Briand. who preserved through out the most complete cam, then asked for 4 vote of the Chamber. The vote at once showed that not only whole of the Left side against but also a bit of the Center st and South and some of the Northwest M. Briand Immediately resigned and the great government, which had pre. sided over the destiny of Fr weathered every storm for went out of office PARIS. 11:00 A.M. It has now been learned that on the vs of M. Briand's resignation the dent of the R Cc Summon nieve to the Palace of the Ely \d asked him if he could form a cabinet. On M. Painleve asking for time the President said that he could have twenty minutes. M. Painleve drove at once to the Chamber of Deputies and crossing the floor of the house where M. Briand sat, kissed him on hoth cheeks and asked him If he would join his govern- ment. M. Briand, having thrown his arms round M. Painleve, announced his willingness to join him. Within a few moments the chamber was informed of the formation of the Painleve-Briand ministry, the news being greeted with acclamation. PAINLEVE-BRIAND MINISTRY. The president of the sesslon, hav- ing anmounced a ten-minute adjourn- ment to allow the ministry to make a budget, it became clear thai the Pain “THE FORMATION OF THE C-P-P-B MINISTRY.” leve-Briand ministry would find itself in a positlon of great strength. It will have the support of the whole radical bloc, together with a chunk of oclalists and about half.a bloc of Conservatives. No French government for the last six months has been In such a posi- tion of power. Briand, it is said with great satistaction, will be virtually a dictator over the destinies of France. As soon as the news was disseminated on the bourse the franc humped itself up two and a half points. PARIS, 11:45 a.m. M. Briand and M. Painleve, enter- ing the chamber with their arms round one another’s waists, read out their budget to a breathless house. ‘The aim of the new government will be to put the finance of France on a basis of absolute stability. To do this they will at once bor- row 4,000,000,000 francs. The loan, however, will be offset and made good by a credit with the Bank of France, which will then float a loan with the public, who will then be authorized, by a decree, to borrow from the bank. The entire credit thus created will be added up and declared extin- guished. The announcement of the budget policy was recelved with salvos of enthusiasm, the entire left embracing the whole of the right. FALL OF GOVERNMENT. PARIS, 12:30 p.m. The Briand-Painleve government has fallen. Entrenched in power as it seemed behind a solid parliamen- tary support, it fell suddenly and un. expectedly on an interpolation dur- ing the budget debate. M. Raymond Poincare, who is generally regarded as the master mind of French poli- tics, rose during the discussion of the budget and asked whether the gov- ernment intended to retain the tax on beer. On M. Briand's saying that it was proposed to keep this tax, M. Poin. care declared that the true national policy would be to let the Germans drink enough beer to pay the taxes for both nations. If they couldn't do it, they should be made to. The whole chamber seethed with enthusiasm, during which M. Briand | | istry. [lluminate Subject for Beginners and M. Painleve an; government was The prestdent nounced that their flrl :;n end. : of the chamb - Ing for order amid the tumult, askad l(v there was any gentleman present Who could form a new movernment M. Polncare offered to do so if (he president_ would him talk with M. Painleve and M. B f(l!:r: few minutes, Fh ouiads 8 permission bein, v three statesmen shortly aftermard Fx. entered the chamber and anmounced that they had Succeeded {n combining {hemsel,\es into a ministry to be called the ¥ ulncure-Pa.inle\'e—Briand Min- r:“oxxc,\m:-ruxu—:vu-sm.\xn M. Poincare sald, however, fthe v Wi ) o they would only do this if they comlg be assured of a bloc behind them. 1t there was no bloc, they wouldn't be @ ministry. The enthustasm of the Left, together with part of the Right and a bit off the Top, made it clear that the new ministry wil ample support An adjunct made with universal congratulation, FRENCH GOVERNMENT FALLS PARIS, 3:00 P.M. The new French Governiment. wiich as formed by M. Poincare with the support of M. Painleve and M. Briand fell right after lunch. Details are yef lacking. Apparently it came into the chamber after lunch and fell "here is general consternation. T bourse 15 wildly excited and ail ohe exchanges reacted sharply. It is whis, pered that the fall of the ministry was occasioned by M. Joseph Caillaux who seated himself ‘in the chamber and looked at the ministry with the inserutible look which 4 oy he has, till it THE C ILLAUX-POIN o8 PAINLE Wy E-BRIAND MINISTRY. PARIS, 4:15 P.M. A certain measure of calm has been restored in Paris by the announce- ment that an entirely new ministry has been formed by the union of M. Caillaux, M. Poincare, M. Painleve and M. Briand. In a statement to the press M. Briand said that the old government had outlived its useful- ness and that he welcomed the addl- tion of M. Caillaux. A new budget would be made at once and would constitute, he said, the best budget of the last three weeks. This budget, which will abso- lutely insure the stability of French finance, will be based on a vote of natural credit supported by a univer- ?‘b loan and guaranteed as a public lebt. M. Caillaux, whose financial genius receive | | | | | | 50 | good suggestions f | | |28 good a poet if he hadn't guzzled Some of Stuff Pulled by Minorities Has Helped Progress of Majorities BY SAM HELLMAN. M NOT getting personal, marks the misses, “but 1 see where s0me professors are say- ing that all idiots and such ought to be chloroformed.” “I'm glad you're not being persona I comes back, “because, with all your faults, I'd still miss you. Not to change the subject, though,” I goes on hasty, “who's going to figure out when a lad's an idlot?” “Why, that's easy,” returns the wife, ““The country’s all cluttered up with swell alienists.” | “Sure, it is.’ I agrees, sarcastic “but did you ever hear of two of them thinkjng the same way? The same bim that one of them claims hasn't the brains of a backward mah-jongh player the other touts as & great gen Lk “Just the same,é remarks Kate, | “there are lots of cases where they | ain't no doubts.” | “I'm not so sure about that,” savs | I “I'll bet 99 per cent of the folks | 113 | figured that Columbus was a cuckoo | when he spilled the tdea that he could | get to the East by sailing West. As a matter of fact, how much difference is there between a genfus and a nut” “A whole lot,” sniffs the frau ou're wrong,” I tells her. “Many @ genlus ain't nothing but a nut that's | been dead 200 years. The only really | sane people in the world are stupid | people.” | “You're crazy,” suggests Kate ! “All right,” 1 returns, “let's figure it out. Your idea, and the world's Idea as far as that goes, of a per- fectly sane and sober citizen is a bobo that” works regularly every day, is £ood to his family, goes to church on Sunday, belongs to a couple of lodges and is a member of the Rotary Club. That right?" “I wish you were ltke that,” com- ments the misses. “Did you ever,” I goes on, “hear of a great opera or a great book or @ great anything being turned out by a lad of that type?” “I know that old piffie,” sneers the wife, “about how Edgar Allan Poe | was always drunk and what a won- derful poet he was. That don't prove anything. He might have been twice hooch and sniffed snow." “He might have been,” I admits. “but from what High Dome Finnegan tells me—and he studied up on practically everybody {n the world that’s considered a genius nowadays was @ bad boy in his time, all of 'em being bums when it come to family | and church life, and most of ‘em being guzzlers and hotsy-totsy lads with ladles that weren't nearly so good as they ought to have been.” “WHAT LOOKS LIKE A TOTAL 1 the wife. same.” “No, we wouldn't,” says I. “Every- thing that’s made the world get along has been contributed by some bimbo that was regarded as a nut in his time, but who had enough guts and independence to tell the majority to go to a the hot place. Even the Founder of the Christian religion had to defy the opinion of his time. IUs a funny thing, but : e progress majorities ever made due to stuft pulled by minorities their ancestors had cussed out. 7T ‘uritans that me over and country would have 12ds to have burned the stake for that was round Finne- n 1 first v and gas and the inventors kiiled by mobs. That's how good a majority is in helping 'd get along just the locomotives were nearl JUAY MAY BE A MASTER MIND 50 YEARS FROM NOW.” “You mean to tell me,” snaps the wife, “that & man can't be smart and decent, too."” It's possible,” says I, “but how is a decent, hard-working family man gonna get picked out of the mob? There are ten million birds doing the same rut-stuff that he {s and——" “The trouble with you,” cuts in Kate, “Is that you're mixing up no- torfety and genius. Just because a guy’'s unusual enough to get his name on the front page and maybe be remembered a few years after his death don’t make him a genius, does 1t?” “Maybe not,” savs 1. “but why aren’t good and decent people remem- bered for their goodness and de cency?"” They are,”” comes back the wife, “but you've naturally never run across ‘em in the kind of stuff vou suppose vou do," I suggests. “Tell me.” T goes on, “who was the leading clubwoman of Egypt when Cleopatra was shaking down the big butter and egg men of the Nile?" “I don’t know,” admits Kate “Who,” T continues, “was the most charitable woman in France when Du ¢ was making deuce spots out of “Nice people don’t go in for publicity, and, anyway, what's all of this got to do_with chloroforming fdiots?" “Lots,” I assure her. “What I'm getting at is this: Idiocy is a matter of opinion, and in this country opin- |fons are made by majorities. We | don't think as individuals in America | I a majority of voters believe in pro- dry. What do you imagine would happen if, for example, a vote Wi taken in the United States to deter- mine what constitutes a human being | that’s fit to live and what kind ought {to be done away with?" “I'd be a widow, for one thing," re | turns the misses. Yes,” 1 comes back, “and so would band who dared think differently from the majority mob. Wouldn't this be a great country if all men and women lived and thought as a u “It wouldn't be so worse remarks hibition it's up to all of us to think | every other woman who had a hus-| ss along. You have to shove good for 'em down their aven't enough t | the drift. Don't 3 first bobo t} | the air was faybe,” admits the wif ain’t the kind of idiots I'm talking | 2bout. I'm talking about medical idiots—the kind that have no brains at all—grown people with the minds of children, etc.” “Gosh!” T exclaims. “What vou trying to dos—ruin the picture busi ness? According to vour scheme you'd kill off all the exhibitors and producers and about 90 per cent of the andiences."” “There’s no use talking to you,” sighs Kate wearily. “You—"" “I know what vou're getting at,” I cuts in, “but T ain't even in favor of kiling off hopeless infants. What Tooks like al loss today may be a | master 50 vears from now | What doctor is there good enough to fizure the future? W seems hope- less idioey to the present genera | mav be rare genfus in the next. B worth while, in my opinion, to earry along 10.000 actual morons rather than to take the c f ki ng off a wonderful mind.’ “Ain't vou the educated one though!"” admires the frau, with re glish “Just think,” T goes on, “if they'd | started the chloroforming stuff 4o | years ago I'd of had to marry an- | other woman, and she might have worse than you even!” (Copyright. 1928.) Science of BY RING LARDNER. O the editor: A couple of weeks ago the present (and pleasant) writer done a big service to the citizens of the town where e lives by giving them some for a name” Tor their main street. The suggestions must of been good because they seem to of put a quietus on the whole argu- | ment. Since the article Wvas printed I have heen deluged with at least 2 postcards from folks wanting assist ance along the same lines and wil take this opportunity of renderi ame The first request is from a friens in Nile: ich., noted as the birth pluce of Abraham Lincoln, Do Bonine, rayself and innumerable ci It seems like they I brand new million and no hur s dollars hotel on the site of the faumous old Pike House where th used to serve a special Sunday din at which the plece of most restsi was chicken and also where th; a big annual festival during which the sheets were changed and the menials, emulating the Dunkards, | washed each other's ft. In the last| few years of the Pike House's career the guests registered on the clerk's cuff and one time an eel salesman got pickled and wanted to stay all night and the clerk had to commit his name to memory because it hap- pened to he the 30th of the month when his (the clerk’s) shirt was at the'steam laundry getting the other 2 names extirpated. | Well, they don’t want to call the new edifice the Pike House, because that name s still bandied about by gray bearded traveling men. Thev was talk for a wile of naming it after another fish, but this idear was dropped when nobod- could think up a_title that signified some member of the finny tribe as I call it and still seemed appropriate to a hotel, though personly I can't see no objection to Flounder Inn, if the guests is going to be anything like old times. According to the information I re celve by radio from points west of Pittsburgh, the only 2 names so far suggested is Four Flags Inn and Pride Inn. The former I am told is based on the rumor that at one time another the sits of the hostelry has been under four different flags, prob- ably the Spanish, French, American and Auctioneer's. Pride Inn’s claim is based on the thesis that the new hotel is the pride of the town, but Selecting Names Offers New Field for Ambitious Humorist “IN THE LAST FEW YEARS OF THE PIKE HOU 'S CAREER THE GUESTS REGISTERED ON THE CLERK'S CUFF.” this supposition will be bitterly con- tested by friends of Doc Bonine, Mr. Plym, San Quimby and myself, say nothing about admirers of the new Main St. bridge, the new post office, which is right across Fourth St. from the hotel, and the new high school bldg. Well, after considerable deliberation I have hit on a name which bears ail the pockmarks of a genlus having thought it up and the boys and girls are welcome to the use of it as a me- to | morial gift to my name is Opp Inn. Opp Inn! Could they be any more hospitable salutation? It is the greet ing of benevolent gents to fair frails when the gents, driving down Fifth Avenue, Michigan Boulevard, Sutter t. or a country road, see the last named painfully limping along on cramped dogs and draw up beside them in a spirit of pure humanitarianism. “Yes,” my critics will say, “but why not ‘Climb Inn’ or ‘Get Inn’ or ‘Come native city. The 11s the half of it. When s to town and desires W hostelry he will 1 1 know Opp Inn must Further and ¥ be name of me a fish And last dest and s of Niles metimes ithout askin, | be opp. the f { more, Opp m: r himself. e of the ted far was the Oppins whi | spelled with & 1. That matte jto my one Basil | scribes h | Park | one chi osed of, we can turn ard which is from anapolis, who de chiropodist. Mr. . not of He is al | ready ards to their | names « me for help i as 1 uld it, T was talki; s the actor me about 1 Ireland e was a nd was Mr. kiddies to the was chri a boy. w other T Paur a far who the Mt | D { home.". The ) tened Bet s baptied Fife \ . The third, a 8 inet N. Drum and mes of Clara and what should pop male twins and the quite a_wile discovered that w together when you wanted them. hit on the ide; of naming them each Tom and always calling both of them at once. might do worse than name n White River, Military, St. Clair; of different when it be on parks the next tock Creek it, Willow Grove Forest, Laurel And if t he could help e ball parks like tsman's, Comiske; wife's nd ti o cever first goes Nettie. up but And finall pair s ¥ en th was Broo and University ashington | worst kept himself to a few Shibe, Fenway, and_even Cub. When Mr. Park final those kind of names vent him from seiecting names perti nent to his profession? A daughte: might be christened Cornelia and called Corn. A boy might be baptized Bunion and called Bunny. Another boy might be named Callous and called Cal. And the last one, we hope, could ba chris- tened Ingrowing Nails and called Ingy e - runs out of vhat is to pre “Vision” and “Sight” Have Meanings Which Appear to Be Quite Different BY ED. WYNN. EAR Mr. Wynn: Can you help me out? The inside of my home has been painted and the odor of fresh paint an- noys me. What shall I do to take away the smell of the fresh paint? There are nine rooms in the house. Yours truly, 1. M. CHOKING. Answer: In a house of nine rooms use_the following formula: Fourteen never shone more brightly, is working out a new tax, to replace the proposed capital levy and the income tax, and to be called the tax on somebody else. Tt is said in well informed circles that if the government can be widened to include a royalist element and to take in a few communists and a bloc of socialists, its success will be as- sured. If it can then pursue a policy which will be sufficlently clerical and conservative while at the same time strongly soclalist, with a touch of ep- portunism, it may last till Saturday. ‘Meantime the theaters are all open, work s plentiful, everybody is happy. Paris is bright with flowers, the hotels are full of Americans dripping with money, the new fashions are sald to be simply charming, the skirts don't reach anywhere, the watering places are wetter than ever—so what does a little thing like a government matter? (Ceprrishs. 19362 pounds of onlons—slice fine; two pieces of garlic—crushed, then mixed into the onions. Place about 1% pounds of this mixture in each room. That will take away the smell of the fresh paint. By the way—if the onions are too strong for you just put another coat of paint in ‘each room. Dear Mr. Wynn: Do you believe it is right to turn tramps away from your door? Truly yours, MAY B. U. KNO- Answer: By no means turn a tramp away frcm your door. Let him sit there as long as he wishes. Dear Mr. Wynn: We are organizing a fishing club for next Summer and ‘Wwe were told to have our camp on the Delaware River right across from Wilmington, Del. We were also told that fishing there is wonderful. Is it tru that the fish, in that spot, bite so easlly? Truly yours, ANN GLER. Answer: I'll tell the world those fish bite. They are absolutely ferocious. Why, you have to hide behind a tree to put a worm on your hook. Dear Mr. Wynn: I met a young lady last week and am very fond of her. We were discussing “kissing” last night and she said that kisses were like a bottle of olives. What did she mean by that? Sincerely, 0S. Q- LATION. Answer: Very simple. She means that after you get the first one, the rest come easy. Dear Mr. Wynn: My sister, who is 19 vears of age, and her girl friend the same age walked from New York to their homes in Philadelphia, a dis- tance of 93 miles. Wasn't that a dumb thing for two girls to do? Yours truly, P. DESTRIAN. Answer: ‘T'll say they're dumb. They shculd have gotten out of the auto long before that. Dear Mr. Wynn: I am a young boy 10 years of age and am in the sixth grade in school. I have to bring in a sentence with the two words “vision” and “sight” included. What malkes it hard is that they are to mean two different things. Can you help me out? Truly vours, 1. M. B. FUDDLED. Answer: Here is a sentence with “vision” and “sight” meaning differ- ent things: I saw two chorus girls last night and one was a “vision” while the other was a “sight. Dear Mr- Wynn: I read In a news- paper where you sald “the most die appointed man you have ever met was a chap who has spent six months curing himself of ‘halitosis’ only to find out he was unpopular anyway.” Can you tell me of any other fellow who could be as nearly disappointed as that one? Truly yours, I. M. NOSEY. Answer: Yes. T once knew a fellow who took a hath and the next morning | he looked all over the house for the | Sunday papers. It turned out that it was Thursday. He wasn't disappoint- ed because he couldn’t find the Sun day papers, but his disappointment came when he found out he had taken a bath and it wasn't Saturday. Dear Mr. Wynn: I am a traveling salesman and work on a commission basis. I am out of employment but have a job offered to me. A manu- facturing company offers me a po- sition selling “horse blankets” in De- troit, Mich. Shall I take it? Sincerely, B. C. 1. DEAS. Answer next week. THE PE CT FOOL. Ed. Wyan, as he has often told you. is one of the wWisest men in the world. ~He sees all. he knows all. Do you think you can stump him with ans kind of ‘a aues; tion? If you do. send it to in care of the editor of this paper and watch for his a (Copsright. 1985