Evening Star Newspaper, July 23, 1922, Page 51

_*have a penetrating, carrying quality - THE SUNDAY STAR, WASHINGTON, D. C. BARRY PULLS A BLOOMER) ? [NEZ and Trilby May Prepare to Entertain a Distinguished Honey- moon Couple at Their Simple-Life Headquarters—Dunk, the Tramp 5" Burglar, as Assistant Butler, and Millie, the Native Waiter, in Khaki . Knickers, Promise to Complete a Striking Picture—Tale of the Uncut Wood Which Suddenly Turned Into a Gorgeous Pile of Fuel—Live Stock Supplies for the Old Farmhouse. : DD TS TS DTS S DS DI T, S DS ST S TS ST IS IS SISO CENT E were not expecting Dunk, | and gI'm sure he wasn't looking for us. So it was rather a surprise all eround. especially the way it turned out. You we had just finished supper. Ye s precisely what T mean—supper. True, we had planned o have our meals up here just as| 4 been used to having them in | 7 o'clock. 1 had trip into Keene town, with dinner at even made a spec for some after-dinner coffee cups and Inez had written to her delicatessen- keeping friend on Third avenue to ~nd up a few Camembert #nd a pound or two of s 1 was going to coach Millie. fed waitress, how to act when we had suests, and T casually mentioned that We would have our coffee served on the cast terrace. B * % JUT all this was before 1 had | > sketched out my program to| Sairy Jewett, our native cook with| 1.8 cooing voice. alked. Ab- solutely. No. maam!” says she. “I don't Rit no dinner at night for nobody. I And what time do you &in't natural. s Dodge, after | think I'd git home. M J4 washed up all them dishes and hurnessed old Jess and drove three miles? Dinner at seven o'clock?} Yiuh! Who ever heard of such a| thing My error.” s I “If it's some- 1% that isn't being done in New | 1 ¥ .mpshire, who am I to smash any honored traditions? Just a passing fancy of mine, anyway. We will have supper, as you suggest.” “At six o'clock, sun time.” iry. “Quite s0,” says I. with a cold, dis- insisted | " tant nod | We have settled down to that basis. Mre. Jewett and I. A polite but frigid < has been the status Sairy discovered that Rarry Platts fondness for playing Joud jazz records during mealtime simply a trick to drown out her | chatty monologue. Sairy had over- heard Barry chuckling about his suc- neutrality. T! quo ever sinc wa cess to Uncle Nels. He shouldn't bave gloated. At least, he should have been discreet enough to have| done his gloating in private. That little slip very nearly cost us our entire domestic force. In fact, ry aid leave within an hour, tak- fng daughter Millie with her. She 1eft flauntingly, in deep anger and for all time. But she came driving| k again at 10 next morning in | time to do the breakfast dishes. 1 don’t mind saying we were glad 1o see her, but T chocked down my joy long enough to put a few things Plainly before Sairy. We could not stand a constant running fire of con- versation. either at meals or between times. Mr. Platt, 1 explained, was writing a play in the attic room. He went up there to be as remote as possible. Talking disturbed him. And while I disliked to seem to criticize any one for something they couldn't Telp. the fact remained that Sairy’s voice. while pleasant and musical, did which was unusual. obody.” says Sairy, pointing her nose scornful at the ceiling. “ever complained of my voice before; that js. nobody but that wuthless Sam Jewett.” “And he ran away two years ago.| Qidn't he? T asked True, that was rubbing it in, and | for days after Sairy was glum and | cullen. But it didn't get into. her cooking. This particular supper was one of her best efforts—vegetable hash. contrived from the relics of yesterday's boiled dinmer. and browned to just the right crispness. with strips of fried salt pork on the ride: featherweight hot biscuits, with new apple sauce, and a blueberry pie that was a dream. * ok kX 0 we were all in a thoroughly satisfied and friendly mood when there drifted in from the kitchen the -~ L of hostile remarks Tt was| plain that Sairy's tongue had broken | Jon<e again. | “Now what's wrong?' T askedj Atitiie “Tramp.” says she. “Maw's laying him out.” ' “No doubt about that,” says I “But we've been so well nourished that I can’t think of sending away some spoor wretch that's really hungry. I must take a look at him.” And, slouched against the back Boor. I found this shambling youth avith the scared, beaten look in his big brown eyes. He was wearing an mbsurdly small coat, trousers two sizes too large and a battered straw hat. Also he was amazingly dirty. But he was 100 Young (o be a regu- | Jar* panhandler and there was such yearning in his glance at the remains of the hash that T simply couldn’t Yelp fecling sorry for him. Espe- clally as Mrs. Jewett was being so bitter in her remarks. ught to be ashamed.” she was saying. “a great lazy hulk like you. 10 be beggin' food from honest, hard | pect to sleep? ButgI'm goin' to feed this boy. Let me have one of those large plates.” * Kk ok WO minutes later 1 had parked the yearning-eyed youth on a the woodshed with a full in front of him. There bench in sized meal W no doubt about his having an “We had a knocked 'Leven “Uh-huh!” says Dunk. riot, smashed everything, out the guards and skipped. of us. That was last month. “I don’t blame you a bit,"” says I “You—you don't?’ gasped Dunk, staring at me. i ® ured him that I did not. So appetite, either. Without saying a|did Barry. Which simple statements word or looking up from the plate|scemed to give Dunk the most com- e Clcaned up every crumb. Then,, Plete confidence in us. He procecded when he had finished his second glass of milk and his third molasses cookie. he flashed a timid, grateful smile at me. “Feeling better?” T asked. He responded with an incoherent, sfied grunt. ou needn't tell if you don't want are a regular tramp?” “Fellar call me that,” says he. AND NIGHTS THE! TO FOR THREE DAY THEY HID IN THE WOODS. THEY MADE THEIR WAY BOSTON “Well, Dunk will do for me,” says 1. “Where are you bound for, Dunk? “Bellows Fall says he. “Job. Paper mill.” “But that is a good many miles from here, isn't it?" I asked. “Guess so,” says he. “I dunno.” “You couldn’t get there tonight, anyway,” says I. “Where do you ex- Dunk blinked his big eyes and shook his head. “Suppose I fix a bed for you here?” says 1. “There's an old sofa over in the corner, and I could let you have a blanket or two. Tired, arent you?” “Uh huh,” says he. “Have you walked very far?’ 1 asked. “Boston,” says Dunk. “Three days.” . “That's some hike,” says I. “Well, you just stick around, Dunk, and we'll take care of you for the night. Maybe we can start you off with some breakfast in the morning, too. He made another vague mnoise in his throat, but his eyes were elo- quent with gratitude. Then Barry came out, looked him over and gave him a cigarette. Dunk rewarded him with a timid smile. It was just a flash and then his face took on that wary scowl, more like the look of a stray dog than of a human being. Between puffs he would glance slow!y around. from the woodshed door to the passage leading towards the kitchen. He made restless mo- tions with his hands and feet. At last he got up. otta beat it says he. in that husky, stralned voice of his. “Why?" says L “What are you afraid of?" “Her,” says Dunk. nodding toward the kitchen. “She's the boss here, ain't she?" * * X X EXPLAINED that Mrs. Jewett was only the cook and that soon she would be driving home. Also that the place was mine and that if {1 said he could stay it was official. “Oh!" says Dunk, settling back on the bench. “Anyway.” adds Barry, “you're too big a chap to be afraid of a woman. Why, you're almost a man, Dunk. “Huh!" says Dunk. “You don't know ‘em.” X “Why, Dunk!” says I. “You're not afraid of me, are you?" “You—you're different.” says he. “But there's some—" As his voice trailed off hoarse without finishing the sentence you could see the dread come into his big eves. “Step-mother?” asked Barry. Dunk shook his head. “I ain't got no folks,” he said. “Perhaps,” suggested Barry, “you've been in an institution—a home of some kind?" = “Was once,” admitted Dunk. “Long time. Matron ther was a—a she-devil She had an ax handle. Hit vou any where with it. Over the head some- times.” \ “Then no wonder you mistrust the gentle sex,” savs Barry, grinning at me. “How ‘did you get away from her?" “I run off,” says Dunk. ‘“Lotta times. Only made it worse when you got back. Last time I had a fight with her. That's why they put me fn workin® folks: and most likely steal- fn’ anything you can lay your hands Git along now, 'fore I set the on. T protested.” “perhaps poor fellow is hungry. And e's 80 much left over that—" ve never fed any tramps,” says airy, “and T don't mean to begin ows L “you needn't. th’ "formatory.” “Did they treat you any better in the reformatory?” I asked. ~ “Did they?” grunted Dunk. .“Say. it was awful. Give you theT tails there, they do. On your bare back. 1 could show you. And hang you up by the thumbs. See?” : Sure enough, there were red ridges just below each thumb knuckle. “But you got out?" I suggosted. says 1, “but I'd like to know if to tell us, in jerky, throaty phrases, the rest of his story. Two of the bigger boys had taken him along with them. For three days and they made their way There they brgke Into small stores. | They got things to eat and tobacco and a little money from the till * ok X X T was easy. You wrapped a brick in some rags and hid in a doorway where the elevated ran aiong. When a train came by You smashed the glass andegot in. That was Dunk's | job. (The others stayed outside and | watched for the cops. But once a private watchman nearly caught him; had his fingers on Dunk’s neck. in fact. But Dunk managed to wriggle loose and win the foot race that fol- lowed. That scared him. He didn't try to find the two big boys again He got a hitch on a truck out of | town and kept going. A man told him he could get a job at Bellows Falls. And here he was. “Hm-m-m!" says Barry, glancing at me. “Well, I guess another da walk will take you there.” “And if 1 were you, Dunk’ T added, “I shouldn't tell all of that story to any one else. 1 wish you hadn't told quite o much of it to us. But T promised you a bed for the night and you shall have it. Tl send the blankets out by Barry. Good night.” We agreed, Barry and 1, not to re- late the full history of Dunk to the others. Inez was nervous enough as it was when she heard we were sheltering a boy tramp. If she'd known he had escaped from a re- formatory and was a burglar as well. she'd have had seven cat fits. And I'll admit I was more or less uneasy in my mind before I finally got to sleep that night. True, Dunk was not a hardened criminal, but there was no telling what he might be prompted to do. And out here on the farm it was so still and dark and tonely. * ok x * MUST have been roused up soon after sunrise by hearing the sound of dull thuds. At first T was startled, but then T concluded that Uncle Nels had turned out earlier than usual and was chopping some wood. Some one had to do that every day, for Salry was always demanding fuel for her cook stove. The lack of it was one of her bitter complaints. “I do you wish't you'd git a man, Miss Dodge.” she would plead. “to work up enough stove wood so's I'd always be sure of havin' some on hand. T never did learn to cook with- out a fire.” “How careless. of you. Sairy” T would say. “But if you'll tell me just where T can hire a stray wood- chopper 1l engage him for the sum- | mer." As she couldn’t I would prod up either Uncle Nels or Barry Platt, whichever was handy. Uncle Nels would do it rather than go hungry. but he said it hurt his back: and Barry’s alibi was that he didn't know how. Tn a pinch I have even had to persuade Inez to go out and cut up & few sticks. but she always resented having to touch an ax again. “When' I was poor girl by Minne- sota,” she protested, “I hafta chop lotta wood, and-now I got rich uncle I hafto some more. Huh!" So that yawning kitchen woodbox had comle to be what you might call an aching void for all of us. Tt often spoiled the beginning of an otherwise perfect day, ‘as well as the end thereof. “The blamed thing leers at me eyéry time I pass it,” complained Barry. “Why “didn't you inherit a farm, Trilby May, that was piped for gas?’ g - & * k k% GO these aull thuds.coming from the more ‘or less soothing to me. direction of the woodshed were sure that breakfast would not be de- i 1 was layed, and I didn’t lle awake wonder- ¢ Uncle Nels or|later he was back with a reply. ing whether it w: Barry who- had suddenly become 80 ambitious. nights they hid in some woods. Then | ifito Boston. | An hour or so later, when | morrow 1 heard each of them stirring in his| with him.” Do SO room, the mystery got deeper. And it was only cleared up when we all drifted down for breakfast and found our young ex-burglar still swinging the ax. “Why, Dunk!" I gasped. “How perfectly sweet of you. And what a really gorgeous pile of wood you have there.” He dropped his chin modest and | grinned. “Thats nothin’,” sald he. “At th' home I did this all the time. I kinda like wood choppin’." “Noble youth!" says Barry. that,” “He's good boy, Uncle Nels. And you can guess we saw to it that Dunk was served with as many fried eggs and cups of coffee and doughnuts as he could consume. “Just think,” suggested Barry, “of the amount of stove wood he could | pile up it we could keep him at it for a few days. Don't you think we might take a chance, Trilby May “Well,” says I, “he didn’t do any burgling last night. I'm game. I'll have a talk with him.” Getting Dunk to express himaself on almost any subject, however, wasn't easy. Speech did not come | readily oft his tongue, and he had L about the most limited vocabulary |1 ever known a human belng to possess. Mainly he got along with a seriess of throaty grunts, which chimed in ght mean almost anything. I gathered, though, that this job in Bellows Falls lured him on. Also | that while he liked most of us fairly | well, he was still afrald of Sairy Jewett. You wait until she sees all that wood,” fays I. “I'm not sure she'll { not want to hug you, Dunk. And if that job has waited all this time for you. a few more days will hardly matter. One day, anyway, eh?" “Mebby.” says Dunk “Then I'll tell you.” says L. fill that kitchen woodbo as full as | it will hold and we'll see what hap- | pens.” * ok k% !Srv Dunk started in with a high- | iled armful of the neatly split | birch sticks, and 1 followed to watch the effects on Mrs. Jewett. “Land sakes!" says she. “T never knew a tramp to be good for any- thing before. Must have nearly killed you. didn't it, choppin’ all that?" But Dunk had no reply. In fact, | had to say, for at the kitchen sink | stood Millie Jewett wiping dishes. 1.\nd Millie. You know. is some husky and blooming Amazon; especially with her sleeves rolled up and in that khaki knicker suit which so frankly reveals all her generous curves. Mil- lic's cheeks were pink and steamy. her little eyes were bright and spar- kly. More than that. as she turned and saw the big armful of stove wood she smiled at Dunk. It was a broad. friendly smile. Dunk did not smile back. For a moment he stared at her. then his cars pinked up and he shuffled over to the woodbox and dumped his load into it. Next he hurried out for another armful. “Well?" T asked him, after he had made his fourth trip to the kitchen. “I'll stay,” says he. “Long's vou want me.” “Good!” says T “Of course. you shall have regular wages; as much as you could make anywhere. Now what shall we say “Aw, that's all right” says Dunk. “I—I don’t need no money. Tll just stay an' work around. I—T like to.” “Very flattering of vou, Dunk, says I. “But we couldn’t think of letting you work for nothing. T shall save up your money for you until you get ready to go.” “Huh!" says he, meaning nothing that T could discover. * x % % TOW we had a permanent chore boy. one who would feed the Tungry mouth of the cook stove, lug in water, hoe the weeds out of the garden and do all sorts of jobs. When barry learned the good news he patted me on the shoulder. “How did you ever work it?" says he. “You—you're a genius, Trilby May. You must have thrown a spell over him.” “Oh, it's a gift.” says T. T “Now,” says Uncle Nels. “we can buy a cow, and some pigs maybe. A farm ain’t nothin’ without a few pigs. Hens, 100." “Say, Uncle Nels, 1 protested. “How long do you think we're here for? You know we aren't settling down for life. Summer doesn't last all the year ‘round in New Hamp- shire.” “Oh, well,” says he. “We sell 'em off when we leave. I like to have such things 'round if T don’t hafto take care of ‘em. Tll go look for a cow -to buy.” And the next thing T knew we were having our own Jersey milk and cream, arfd eggs-fresh from the nest. Also theéTe were plenty of raspberries and blackberries in one corner of the garden, and Millle would now and then saunter off to the pasture and bring in a pallful of blueberries. So we were living high. It was about then that Barry heard from this young architect friend of his, Jarvis Walters, and hinted that he'd like to ask him up for the week end "He's located in Springfleld now, You know,” says Barry. 1 hear. Rather an odd genius, Jarvi Always raving about something “Just | T don’t think he heard half what she | | JULY 23, 1922—PART 4. Hooch Hunters' S’ymptoné Cause Fear That Masculine Breakdown Impends R OBUST Men Tell Physiciang of Grave Doubts as to Surviving Another Twenty - Four Hours — “Insomnia” Afflicts Person . Who, It Is Believed, Can Sleep Standing Up—Prescriptions Used as Legal Tender in Poker Games—Contrivance Resembling } | Still Produces Hog Milk—“High Jackers” Prey Upon Bootleggers. French Brandy in Milk Supply--Cork Partition in Bottle Swindle. o “IMAGINE LIVT IGHTED DAY AND AGE LIKE THAT!™ ANY and devious methoas are employed by those who would secure some of the beverages that have been outlawed by reason of the adontion i the eighteenth amendment and the age of the Volstead act. Some truly remarkable subterfuges ar tried by the thirsty ones in order to get a drink or more of “licker.” Meth- ods may be ingenious or crude, but 21l have the one object in view. A well known physician the other day made the following statement regard- ing prevailing conditions: “I am indeed fearful for the future | of the United States. It appears to me that we are on the verge of a masculine breakdown. ~Why, hardly a day passes that T am not visited by robust-appearing men who confiding- | 1y state to me that they have grave doubts as to whether the morrow’s sun will see them in the land of the living. Here are a few of the ex- cuses that 1 have had put up to me during the last few weeks. “On Monday morning a person who tips the beam at 180 pounds came limping Into my office and asked that | I give him a thorough examination. In between my thumping he diplo- maticaliy suggested tnat what he most needed was a prescription for some whisky. my examination and found him abso- lutely physically fit, T asked him to dfagnose his own case and to tell me what he thought was the matter with him. Looking me squarely in the eye and without the slightest suspicion of a grin, he said: ‘Doc. 1 think the trouble with me is that I suffer with insomnia.’ 1 happened to belong to the same club that he does and I know that fellow can sleep standing up. —_— “But you didn’t say anything about a Mrs. Walters, Barry,” I protested. Didn’t know there was one,” says Barry. “And there'll not be one until tomorrow noon. That's when the ceremony takes place. Then they start on a motor tour to Quebec and they'll stop off with us for a day or so. Fine, eh?" . * % x ¥ ] SUPPOSE I stared at him foolishly for a moment. Then 1 gasped. “A honeymoon couple as guests— here!” says I. “How cute! I suppose he thinks you're visiting wealthy friends at an elaborate country es- tate, And here we are, just camping out in a ramshackle old farmhouse After-1 had finished | | SPORTY individual told me the other day that it was ‘quite the thing nowadays to use prescriptions|feund that the confections were-right- | home and take a as legal tender and that sometimes they had an above-par value, espe- cially in poker games. I think that one of the funniest things that has bappened in a long time was when an elderly man came into my office and asked me for a prescription for whis- ky. He unblushingly said that he wanted it for his wife, who was ac- | customed to bathing her Mexican hairless ‘dog in whisky, ened the otherwise tender skin of the pup. When I refused to comply he iffdignantly snorted that he thought 1 should be reported to the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. *1 must tell you another one which concerns four friends of mine who.on | one late. cool dvening, decided that they wanted a quart of bourbon. They dug up their respective portions until the pot contained $15. One of the party was dispatched to secure the desired beverage. He returned with a bottle nicely wrapped up. His com panions eagerly waited for him to pull the cork. The liquid shone brightly, giving brown and deep red tints. Glasses were raised, heads thrown back and each member of the party swallowed a glass of—tea! “Another member of the party de- clared that he knew where he could zet some of the ‘real stuff.’ A second pot of similar monetary contents was formed. and after a pause of about an hour the friend returned, also with a | beautiful bottle, but bearing a dif- ferent kind of labei. Swelling up his chest, he said: ‘It takes & fellow who knows the ropes to get the real thing.’ Again the business of opening bottle, only to find that the second vessel contained tea—everyday tea. * k k% «] WaAs called to the home of a friend of mine the other night by his wife, who stated that her husband |; i iced in rum running. was quite ill. Upon my arrival at their home, I found that friend hus- band was really sick. It seemed that he had secured one bf the fake Ger- man formulae that have been sent broadcast upon the receipt of $1. United States money, during the past couple of months. I do not yet know what the ingredients are, as the anal- 1sis of the stuff has not yet been com- pleted, but whatever it was the Ger- mans sent him, it certainly had, in addition to its poisonous qualities, a kick that was more potent than that of a Missouri mule in fly time.” Some of the experiences of men in-} with a pump in the back yard, a|terested in enforcing the Volstead act native waltress who wears khakilare unique. ,Statements made by one: knickers as a dining room costume|of these, men run as follows: and a tramp burglar as an assistant butler. Say, you do have some bril- liant thoughts, Barry boy! And this is one of your choicest” “Sorry,” says Barry. hanging his head.. “But I'd hate to renig after being so urgent. Seems to me I do “Doing well, | remember about this girl of Jarve's. Met her at a Holyoke prom, I believe. Rather a swell. Spent last winter other and getting sudden enthusiasm, | with her folks in Italy, where they but I'm sure you'd like him. Let's have him up, eh?” “If you think he can stand, the * simple life for a day or so,” says I “You know we're hardly in shape to entertain classy company. He'll have to put up with the bowl-and-pitcher stufr.” “Jarvis will fit in all right,” assured Barry. “Pll run into town and send him a wire.” He did. And a couple of hours says 'Barry, “to- Bringing his wife “He's coming,” night. > i had a villa.” “Doesn’'t that make it very nice said I, hunching my shoulders. “Well, let ‘em come. I can stand it if they can. and it will be worth while watching the new Mrs. Jarvis ‘Walters when Millie comes marching in with the baked beans and brown bread. O-0-o la-la! And perhaps we can induce Dunk to pass the blue- berry ple and tell them the story of bis life.’ “Please!” groans his furrowed brow. So I let it ride at that. (Copyright, 1922, by Seweli Ford.) on Barry, mopping “Prohibition enforcement officers don’t always get the evidence they expect to get. For instance, the other day we got a sure-fire tip that moon- shine was being made in a certain section of the city. When we got into the hquse we found an arrangement that. somewhat resembled a - still, which was being operated by a wom- an. She indignantly denied that she was violating the law and invited u: to taste the contents of her device. We did, and found it was hot milk. Now we are trying to puzzle out as to whether she had us tipped off in order that there might not be any subse- quent investigation if another tip came into opr office. “We bumped into an unusual one when we found a plant that was operated along the lines of a gasoline stove. My old buddy turned up a new ome the other day in New York, where as that tough- | | | | s | BTRDh. | had made a cashier’s stamp such as is | contain milk, and I found, carefully were called upon to seize some candy that had been sent to an actress. We up-to-the-minute ‘rum drops.’ * Kk ¥ X 4 ()CCASIONALLY we have a chance | to sit on the sidelines and watch | the bootlegger get his without our | lifting a hand. The general public does not realize that the bootlegger is taking greater chances today than he has heretofore taken. ‘High jackers'| have appeared on the scene and some of them have made quite rich hauls. | The ‘high jacker is one that either | holds up the bootlegger and takes his | contraband goods away from him or else forcibly takes the money the boot- legger has obtained from his sale. 1t is an easy way for them to make mone: They spoi a bootlegger. time his. move- ments and at the point of a gun get ¢ither his booze or the money. ometime ago we had a good laugh when we learned that a man we had never heen able fo catch, but who, we were certain, was a bootlegger. had heen taken in to the tune of $2,200.] The way of that game was this: The | purchaser of the liquor had caused to | be printed a check bearing the name | of a non-existent bank. He had also | used in certifying checks. “It is really surprising the number of men who desire employment on the liquor-carrying ships. “We grabbed off & bunch of stuff the other day that had us puzzled until the owner of it finally told us| that the liquor was made last winter from pumpkin. “We went after a negro. and by | keeping close watch. discovered that his hiding place for booze was in the | unkempt corner of a graveyard. * % ¥ ¥ | «\|UMEROUS subtefuges arec re- <N gorted to by members of the fair sex, who have of late actively | Some of | captured have been pro-| chest protectors, while | others have carried their sfuff in hot water bottles, but 1 think the | prize should be awarded to the wom- an that came into the railroad sta tion with three quart bottles of milk She protested that she could drink | only the milk from cows on her own farm. She opened one of the bottles and bade us taste it. It was milk, | all right, but I happened to have a hunch that the two others might not those we vided with in the cénter of the rest a nice little rubber pouch which contained excellent French brandy. She protested to the last that some one had mixed the bottles; that they were not her bot- tles and she knew nothing about them. “For some time past we have been wondering where a certain Young woman kept the ardent epirits with which she entertained her friends. We finall discovered that the bottles were secreted in the bottom of the phono- concealed of the bottles, “I think the mewest one that has been sprung in some time was by the fellow who carried his liquor in a: flashlight. 1 It was only by accident| that we discovered where he kept! his supply of booze. e * ¥ X % x uo E favorite stunt of the boot- legger is to supply you for $15 with @ Dperfectly sealed bottle -of whisky, tinfofl and all. In your; presence he opens the bottles, takes he found a barber shop that gave a!6ut a small drink and.pours out.one drink with every shave, the shaves|for you, thus demonstrating that he costing a dollar. | the joke hugel | the o1a gag about He carefully puts back the cork and does up the bottle, but when you get couple of more drinks you will find that the genulne Jjquor rested on top of a thin cork partition. and that the residue is merely tea or brown sugar and water. The cork was masked by the label which. was plastered over the spot where the cork was in place. “We have had trouble of late with the watermelon crop. as NUmerous persons have taken this plan of bringing moonshine into the city. On account of the color of this concoc- tion, it is less liable to attract aiten- tion if the watermelon cracks thun it would if the melon exuded a dark brown liquid. “We were completely outwitted when we searched a man's car and found nothing in it but a tin cam, which was supposed 40 contain & liquid used to remove carbon from the engine. While we were search- ing the other part of the car the man poured the contents of this can down the pet cocks of his cylinders. stat- ing that while we were searching he might as well be tuning up his en- gine. Big boobs that we were, we never tumbled until he had drained the can and it suddenly occurred to me to smell it. It had contained booze all right, but there was not a chance in the world of convicting him the evidence. After giving he brought us back to r and scemed to enjoy without us the laug! town In his ¢ “The traxh-wazon method got by for some time, but it won't be vers healthy for the next man we find carrying booze concealed in his dump cart. * ¥ ¥ % AJT is really remarkeable,” he con- tinued, “to observe the lengths & man will go to get a drink. One of our men reported the other day that he knew of a men who had the same tooth filled eleven times—that is, fill- d temporarily. He would choose different dentist every time and puil needing a bracer 50 he could stand the strain caused by the dentist's drill. “The thing that I can’t understand s why people who generally are such good business men and women will buy this poisonous stuff, taking not only chances of killing themselves or suffering severe stomach trouble but also rendering themselves liable to a fine or imprisonment. “I know of a caxe where & man c tracted to have a barrel of whisky delivered to his home. He had beey given a drink of real old whisky and was told that this was from the bar- rel he was to buy. The truck drov up in tront of his house and the boot- legger demanded his money in casy before he would unload the barrel The money was turned over, the boot. legger got on the seat of the truck put the gears in mesh and sped away, leaving the would-be purchaser o3 the sidewalk. absolutely helpless.” A recent raid disclosed the fact thai this particalar maker of alleged li- quor always kept a large supply Iye on hand, and the government ex- perts declare that a large percentage of the booze that is sold today con- tains more or less of this ingredient. which is health destroying when taken internally. A few_ nights ago a prohibition agent's Sttention was attracted to a number of young men all carrying walking sticks of similar appearance Quietly trailling them, he discovere< that they were visiting an alley where. by ‘unscrewing the top of the canes, they made use of long and nar row flasks. Thus waw added another interesting bit to the bureau’s collec- tion of devices used In the transpor- Simetime past we|is not afraid to drink his own stuff. tation of liquor.