Evening Star Newspaper, February 27, 1921, Page 62

HE telephons of the Leaf M tor Car Compuny rang insist- ently. Mr. Holmes was busy| signing his correspondence. He 1a!d aside his pen and reached for the Teceiver. “Js this the Leaf Company?’ came 2 strident voice “Yes. Holmes spesking.” “This is labor headquarters. I'm ealling to teil you that we are putting ou on the unfair list." “I don’t understand.” returnsd &Ir.! Heolmes, with 2 frown. The Leaf shep had beem remarkably fres from labor troubles, and Mr. Holmes distinctly did net wish to have any. “What have 1 done?” the perplexed employer managed to ask with an 3s- surance far from genuine. breaking. I never did such a thing in came (he wnswer in amaze- | “Yeah." drawléd the man ironically, ! | rechon veu didn’t send vour driver : and his trgek e tie ive craam fac tory. where the teamsters was out en a strike. and help the manufacturers liver lot of their siuff.” Mr. Holmeg clesed his eves in des- peration. “I reckon 1 didu't.” he re- Peated with emphasis. “Well, he dene il “Whe. Orestes?” 1 dow't know the man's name, but that's what happened.” Mr. Hoimes tardily recovered from his eaclier inertia. "Why. vou m be out of vour heed! That hoy is out | at my house in Highland Park. hel ing with « tea pariy my wife is & ething of the kind. It ain't been fifleen minutes since he hi: the ice eam factory, all dressed white one of their regular drivers, and into the back does, after Jaying | out two teamsters that was on guard, and picked up 3 hundred pound ice cream packer and rgn around the! blec { ‘Oh, quit vour rqmznting.” laugied | Mr. Holmes at the pictiite presented. “Weell. he done ftP’ ewphysized tie tient at Tevity which : & unsee And round the cormer. ont of sight, was his truck and he slammed t3e pagker Areve o If that aln't ricik. inz. T'd like 16 know what ‘s “Now. sce here.” begyn Mi. Hoimes imptien: “No' use arguin’. We've zot vou | degd to rigirix von have and maybe v Mr. Holmes with creeing dignity. “For ene thing, I'm| net going to be blufied. For anether| thing. vew've got to shew that my u truck di4 that hauling for hire, if it potent- was déne at all, 3ad with my knowl- ! edge and consent. Which you can't dei in'y theusand vears." 1 ® & % 3 S calm earnestuess gud sssyrance | sehered the man somewhgt. “Well, | of coyrme— < ‘of ceurge’ abeyt it! There some mistak; facts new. I'll get them. and yoy'll see I'm not faur frem right. “All right. Mr. Helm prove i “T can and will" remrned Mr.! Holmes. terminaiing the cenversatian with more confidence thanu he really feli. for Oresies was the ubiquitous x| in.the otherw v salvable prob- lem of his daily ex!sience. He rgng for his s Holmes on the telephone. Preseatly cama tie amnswer from Nagnette. ‘Mis' Lelia 83y she is busy t 1glk.” ¥e is Oresies” ", it you plegse, suh, thunder- “You'l Wab io ‘scuse Rest K3se. too, l‘llt:‘t.uk Helmes. He is ed busiest o mt the teleph = spid Mr. chosnalyfis it o sessio Heimes. " Throsscors: 1adise “REST EASY.,” SAID NANMTPTE, “GIT SOME CIGARS AN’ SKE IF DEM OFFUMCERS DON'T DESIRK TO CRAVE A ultimate truth. sat in the spacious liv- | bus'up an’ spill't de cakes, an’ does 1 t him 1o semd zome jelly roll in- an' I say nemmine—" Lella ciosed her ey ing | tions of the emtrancin; was the lovely philesephy ef the eru- | flosted threugh her mind. dite ene. Bul with the unfelding of | ing the elements of uncertwinty and the sreane truth. there came mo re-| caprice and substituting reason and Perhape, byt not in the Her distresssd ing reom and drank i the emoteric 1eaching of the distinguished visiting | s lady. ven a8 a heneyed chalice pre- seated te the lips of the fam condite suggestion that mentsl pabu- robub lum_youl 1y be the sole re| cw freshmenl which the occas! afford. This distressing truth had net as Yet been revealed to the consclousness she ssked wearily. “I's mykip' some 1i'l | done goi ome batch in de oven.” Nannette, you're u fewel. of Mys. Heimes. In aull diligence she bad erdered the refreshments and, be- in s given their serving into the hands of her servitors. Nannette and Orestes She Beamed complacent alted faces of her gu the words of the ardent savant revelution in the world's & pew censciousness. & n of {afinite petencies. Emermous pos- greap of all. An applica- arcane tryth ta daily life th extraordingry pawer, ncer- By Olive McClintic Johnson MAN, #COOLED" ANOTHER WITH HIS FI§ ABBED THE JCE CREAM FREEZER AND BUMPED IT FOR HIOME ORESTES BUFTED OME Thought is the “The higher forms of alchem work without a wi influence of potency thought were forcibly demonstrated to Lelie, who listened but casually to the clusive philosophy made by the partial epening of the door appeared the head of Nannette. |of thought enemies radigting_confused. bewildered jurgent distress signals. I nature was “sasking lo express har- { mony in all things’ ang while T haven't the {consternation jler's pantry. i net ceme! As the guests fairly s n ynder the assurauce of | v in every humagu be- | ) tip nodde i Powcr is drawn from the in- 2y of which we are a part. tory_gnd suc the ice cream. asped Lelia as he can and reveale of the expected daintily colored indi-| vidual portions which she had order- | «d, Great quantities of bulk fce cream almost red in color! “Lawsy!" was the delighted excla- es and Nannetie. ress reflected h a crack ! The organization of v and | friends, adverse cond fate is conquered— a mistake.” breathed Lelia. ner-| in the living room. | vously pacing assum, dey’s a lie out somewhar.’ had | assented Nannette, as ghe stooped «h the modulated evertones of ihe tions overcome. was rampant in the but- | The refreshments mation of Ores the face of blank despair. Never mind." . citn | M el reassured Mre. the commotion. the astral aura of love. hist will regard it as an especial bute. and if s ‘I mean about the arcane fruth.” med | wise refers to that same.” The speaker was finishing pyrotech- | Then would follow a few ma- of animuted discussion mit the hostess time to se I'll remind the great elernal The idesl art of appreciative ministrations, were prices Leliy alipped away. manipulating the forces of nature wa v the material necessit & the forces of her|wou both physical suppiavted b the direction of ry department when the re- Vhat on carth s the matter?’ she | freshments were not forthcom Jame the tinal wards of the speaker with | selves, Mrs. Holmes. t. and Orestes is too dirty.” Lelia nooded, took up a tray, and motioned Mra. Ince to lead on Nannette paused a moment. dat Miz Ince 83y 'bout red bein' de aster berder of love? 4 red, red rese was de sign of le: er spouse. be turned in : Ince was already dishing concection responding 1o the arcane truth Nannette is 0o - exactitude. As Lelia heard the applause she her ears with ichoked hack a sob. and | tiful party end in a fiasco! added, her eves rolling with conster- “ner comin'’ Have you phaned”” “Law, Mis' Lelia, Nannette's countenance with disma nary refreshment come her hands and Ta have her beau- 1 always thyi ceased her rumination aver the arcaue truth to regurd her mistress with sym- “Law, Mis' Lelia De cakerer say #le caRes in'on | use in cryin’ ober spill't cakes. de wuy nearly s hour ago, an’ finumly | know vo'se’f dese 1i'l butter thins ry car is been in a' bettern 1 is we' out dey ain’ no|“Red, red ice cream's bet to her eakes, ished ice cream on the he say de dell cakes, an'!while Oreates { vin or ‘magnetism or plain friendiine j ori warm after vour hurry. | supplied” them with a Rest Eaxe'll get heah terreckly wid plates aguinst the 1 think 1 heahs him Tezses' retura. y, Nannie-gu'l." “De ipsane truth. L whole pahty is cencernin’ which,” she replied, nmfivll imprompty wait- de jce cream. Detached por- philosopby “Elimiapt- s what dis ANNETTE was romanciag abont the latter, bul she realiged that her distraught mistress must be res- her engulfing thoughts. Lelia went to the door. enough. there, rounding the curve of the block below was the colored char- The truck came at a terrific The driver's hat was party clothing was torn, gnd hie bowed the steering But behind careened from side to side the pricelcss cargo— an immense ice cream packer. “Thank heaven! “Hailelyjah ! a pan of deliciol 'rom the oven. ady is apoke plum beautifult You mus’ cumbat vo' diffi- erms of infinite poul- of the caterer. syed from might glance rested ypon her maid who toll- ed with rolling pin and flour sifter. Nannette?” “Ap’ de insane truth say.” she add- ed. a8 she eased anoLher pan inte the oven. “reach out an’ draw power from de Infinite hen nest what is 31l about sured of their timely arrival. | “De jce cregm fact'ry say de deliv upon the ex-i ery men is up an’ strick. so Rest who leaned | put out in de truck afieh de ice cream, forward in their eagerness ta catch|widout even stoppin’ to change out of his waiter clo'ex.” plunged nearer. “Like 1 done gt de ice cream fa, i grinned her spouse, intent upon “Sep'n I made a exclaimed Lelig. |literal applications. echoed Nannette. Boih mistress and maid ran to as- . Asg the trio roiled the giant cask into the kitchen, Mys. Ince emerged from the sitling Toom In quest of her friend, and the reason for the delsy of the customary and expected climax to the party glance at th the kitchen for her te ts lebered umder some gr: but calamitews atress. wasled ne-dime in useless questions, cream fo' Miss Lelia's pahty 1 drawed it fo' de niggah dance Application of the thresheld of | arcame truth to daily life would invest realization | one with extraordinary ®f the yesoprees within self—the germ | sibly, ut mot over strikipg delivery law unte them- unsuspected forces are|seives and must be dealt with accerd- lor_theory wis that of the kitehen. spch esnfliet be_in eperation undey TANNETTE was convulsed with ed but one LA ise that the kin hab some when de white folks is g philosophhies ahe “Can't wail,” declared Oreates, tak- ing a gemessus.spoonful in &ismmeuth. but drew off her gloves and fell to| Just then the ladies suddenly reap Hurriedly she | peared for additional plates, and he began to arrange Nannette's cagkes on | swallowed it with a gulp. the plates. Orestes opened ou are a wonder!” exclaimed Lelia {to Mrs. Ince. ‘A dozen have rhapso- cover | dized ever my appropriate color d, instead | Scheme. : “I know it,” giggled Mrs. Ince. “The leader wrote it down in her notchook. and is going to mention it in her next lecture. She explained to me how ‘persons react to their color impre sions” and declared yours was n. 1008t harmonious party of the season.” With muiual chuciles the two re- turned to the scene of the now highly successful par Meanwhile Nannette and Orestes £at in the deorway, enjoving rest and re- froshment following ticir strenuous 1abo Two huge figures loomed sudd iy at the glley gate. They wore uniforms and rode motor crcles. “Fo " (Gawd nnette, i ean fo'git,” whispered Oresies, paus- ing with #poon half way to his mouth. | “Two cops chased me all de way 'long Turtle creek boulevard, an’ heah dey comes now.” ‘No?" “Yassir; dat'’s how come 1 come in on a flat tire. Dey shot my lef” behine tire clean thoo.” ‘Count-o' which?" “You know dey doan 'lows no trucks en de boulevard. But I had to come de shortes' way—an' de guickes'.” “Speedin't” exclaimed Nannette with dread -finality. ‘Da'ssall! Does you know a in- sane truth dat'll help me wid offum- ceys?” Ah the male! The ever-clinging male! They mistake who liken him to the giant oak iu times of Remove the possibility of fisti tration, and he becomes the clinging twining his tendrils about the female form with confident belief in the potency of her finesse. But Naunette shook her head: “Umph n! Dey n’ no take Mis' Lelia. 11 call her Again Nanuette unfurled her dis- tress signal through the door crack Lelia had a way—call 41 persenality at once disarming and winning. ple liked her. She found it a gift more precious than rubies in dealing with the butcher, the baker and the candlestick maker. Still, she never had tried her charm on officers of the law. Despite her unusual stress and the party at its climax, she met the men pleasanily, Orestes and Nanuetie hov- ering uncertainly in the background. & she Just now—have to take leave of Buests and hear each once of them ex- press her app tion in an entirely inal and different manner. She made a little gesture of scorn It was involuntary, but somehow it g0od of you to come to see me.”’ id, “but really I'm terribly busy iconveyed the impression of a con- | fidential understanding. and the men | actually smiled. “Weuld it be too much to ask you to wait for me fifteen minutes?” One of the men sugsested that, as they hgd only come for the negro. it would be quite unnecesrary to trouble her further. They would merely take the prisoner and b off “Oh, you mustnt do that'™ said Lelia, dismayed. “And leave us with these mountains of soiled dishes, and nnette and me ready to drop? Oi. You wouldn't do that! ~Orestes'll sim- ply have to wash the dishes first. “All right, we'll wait,” said the other. Lelia rewarded him with a beaming “That is lovely of you.' she 1 know you must be Orestes, bring the officers some cake and cream. Anc now T'll have to leave you. I simply must get back o my gues She departed as if it were entirel against her will and solely in respouse to the call of duty. Qrestes piled two plates h with the rosy ice cream and. Nannette trail- ing behind with a tler of cakes served the officers hiy and well They sat on a rustic beneh in th shade of a tree and partook of the un- expected treal with great gusto. fore they had finished water, which was A sudden thought gave impetus 1o her movements. Returnin, he reached into a compartment of the butle pantry, whepe reposed a box of Mr. Holm. favorite She smiled broadly. She was about to put the arcane truth into active operation. She made an additional offering of cakes an excuse to speak to Orestes “Rest Kase, git some matches an’ a Box o' cigars an’ see if dem offumcers don’ desire to crave a smoke."” * ¥ * * received. !Tflls was kindness a shade too kingly for Orestes. “Naw, honey, “De | don’ waste——"" he began as they went back. “Go 'long. You mus 'stablish yo'se'f| }1ak harmonious kinfolks.” think aboyt dat! when I wuz coolin’ dem teamsters wid | “Who sesso.” “De Insane truth.” “All ri’, but hit's wastin’ good ci- gars." The smokes were the last requisite to the establishment of harmonious re- ilations. The men accepted them hap- | pilly and soon luxuriated on the mel- low richnesss of Colorado claros. Mr. Holmes smoked good cigars. “Boy, how'd you hampen lo try the beulevard?' asked one of the men as he puffed cantentedly at the best cigar he had smeked in a blue moon. “T was bringin' de ice cream,” fal: tered Orestes. “Well, there are other streets, you know." *Yassir, but 1 had te git heah quick, ’count o' ‘oush pahty about to break 4n’ ne vefreahments *count o' de ice 1! trankiy and 2t 1 ain! stress. | h HivH | ixty | THE SUNDAY STAR, WASHINGTON, D. C. FEBRUARY 27, 1921—PART % THE INSANE TRUTH cream fact'ry mot havin' no way to What's the malter with the factcry's trycks™" “Law. suh, dey gone on a strike.” Well, how in_the world did you get past the pickets?” demanded the other. Orestes told them. He aold them de railroad | | trag¥E an cah bahns, an’ when dg | {ole #geight truin come tootin’ thoo 1 SWARE on de behine end | me. sprang to de ice cream [. prétly soou I's ¢ an’ i i an’ de piekeis % I stahted in de do”. an ®c@ de ice cream, an’ de wuz a e man scitin’ theah betwisi me de freozer an' 1 butted him in de umgpick wid my haid, an’ he holler com~ heah quick’ fo ‘nother mam. an’ he donce it, an’ 1 had to cool im wid | my i Den I grab de freezran’ sail | round de ice vream fact'ry to whar | * de truck. un’ me an’ ole truck | | hump it up 1o’ home There is no keener apprec I southern darky’s humor th: a =0 {ern white man, and Qrestes’ narra amused his suditore mightly | tale of his stealthy creeping up to The | | forbidden ground, his sudden swoop- | {ing down upor overpowerinz | the unsuspec guards. the seizuce Jof the gia and s quick | gerawa was of AT strat- | cgy. The men whooped with laughter den T got de wrong ice cream, astes ruefully. sure were i trouble. weren't said one. rmed up by ontinued S U s saccumstance. W trouble De auto oh de ca bus up oush cakes— | | S0 Nannette hafto make der 1l butter thine, what you et.” The men were off again. _Orestes saw nothing to laugh at. The first officer. sensing the negro’s perplexity. managed to control his zlee long tenough to comment: “Darn good cakes. 00, The ackoowledgment of Nanmette's culinary_skill restored the smiles | the ebon eounteparnce. - “Yassir,” restes “Well, 1 think vou've had enough i trouble Tor one day" said the leader, | nd stretching happily suh. you ain’t seed de dishes ccumrations what I's ot to teah aid Well, see that you de 4 I reckon they need yon here than we do. Come on. Pat. We » he down look after that i moved towar i Mrs. Holmes for the first offics “And for the smoke dded Pat as he bestrode his moior cyele. “Yassir,” returncd Orostes. happily executing a negroid dance. which he alled a freight-train draz. the alley. e cats.” call- AT dinner that evening the r:umm| 4} Lelia recounted the details of the{ afternoon’s triumph. And then the telephone rang. Mr. Holmes answered. Lelia listened. s. this is Holmes. * * * Who? * * * On, yes, the labor secretar: Mr. Holmes gave Lelia a meaning wink { “Look here. You fellows certainly t the world for jumping af conu- clusions. found out all #bout th matter you telephoned me about to day. My negro had no intenti breaking the strike: he wa {making a franiic effort t { wife's party from be { What? You know it7 * * * [ You find out? "¢ ¢ * Tgo motor ey {poiicemen? 1 sex? Then, why i world 2 ¢ ¢ (A R ice cream! Wait a moment. | He turped o Ledia with hand over { transmitte 10w much of that ic | cream did you say was la(17 | “Oh. quarts und qu It belongs to the Mr. Holmes. “They tonight. “Oh, oh.,” gasned Lelia, cov face with her hands. Mr. Holmes was resuming the one- sided conversation. Again Lelia paus- ed to listen, “Say, Mr. Sectetary. there’s a lot of that cream lefi. 1 expect there's enough for vour party. Yes: send vight out and get it. * ¢ * That's all right. 1 don't want your party to be a | Rizzle either. ® "¢ “¢ "Sure. Don’t men- ris of union,” explained re giving a party g her in town. Sure. Neither of us could have { if it hadn't been for my ! had a party strike-breaking negro. * * * Yes, TI hope it will be a lesson to—both of | b | Mr. Hoimes hung up the re ] | “I expected 1'd have to make a dona- | “ tion 1o the labor fund.” he smiled. l { ver, “With a difference” exulied Lelia “As long as it already belonzs to ides, 1 zoing to hem, it doesn’'t matier Be was wondering zet rid of ali that red stuff. Her husband playfuliy blew a smoke ring in her direction. A sudden {thought illumined her face. She { touched his hand. “Will, vou use of the arcane truth.” “Did 1? “Yes, didn't you notice the circum- istances adjusting themselves to your | new mental condition “Was that iL?" asked Mr. Holmes in- | credulously. T thought it was my ci- | gars Orestes gave the policemen.” { ““Outside in the kitchen Nannette, overhearing, 1 e quoted to her wid scientific in- wowe we xac “What “De ins (Copyright. Printed by arranzement with the Metropolitan Newspaper Seryice The Wasliugion Star.) A Witly Woman. [STHEL BAR ne truth.” YMORE. apropos of a Wity remark made by w young aciress at a garden party, said: | “Thix young lady reminds me of Ellen Te who was the wittiest j and most tactful woman I ever knew. i "I once heard a story which is char- lacteristic of Miss Terry's ready w { “She was'sued by her dressmaker { for an ubpaid bill and the case went |against her. Asking to be allowed to| | decision was “teo aid to understand | {the cas S { “The judge of appeals reminded her that once before, in another suit. she {been tried by ‘a bit of a boy.' ‘What age. may 1 ask, madam. ‘do vou want @ judge to be inquired. age, Miss Ty smilingly | | i | replied.” Too Easy on Herself, VISHOP FLIPPER of Atlanta sud‘ > nt address: L “Some people 100k on their sins too lightly. They are like Aunt Hannah £ in a rec regularly, but it came ‘5 her pastor’s| ears one day that she had stolen | ihen. Accordingly, the next time she, partook, the good man rebuked her | think you'd be ashamed to come to| “Mah, goodness, pawson,' said Aunt | Hannah. ‘Ah wouldn't let no old hen stan' betwixt me and de Lawd's ta-| bles i { Mental Culture. ! \[AYOR LUNN of Schenectudy | { =’ npointed to an advertisement ex- tolling the efficucy of a mental zym- nastics correspondence school. “Did You cver try a correspondenc: oour: in mental gymoastics?' he d the reporter. I dom't take much Stock in such things.” the reporter answered. “Well. T know a man.” said Mayor Lunn, “who took a three months' mental gymnastics correspendence course, and he's a millionaire today.” Impressive pause. *Te be sure,” Mr. Lunn added, “the man wus a millionaire before iaking the course: but the extraardinary fact 1 want to bring out is that since taking it he hasn't lest his money.” - O the Editor i don't sup- readers whi sum tion held a tizen instead of what might « Whoite House, b VE NEW YORK CITV TUESDAY MORNING e this way a whole Ford once said and 1 will go wouid rather have a Ford than ving to Was 0w you personly cel that way : {as it don’t go no further. but Why? | be a panied by she who ¢ : st lady of the land. married her. Y. city Tuesday JE will leave jm won't be no|UPp in the hotel di noon so as chance of not getting there in time as| is obliged the Zone of Quiet tion it. Just don't jump at conclusions ! declaration of independents was The depot w !m.» treasury bldg.. and a magnificent i j distants from there is the Wasehing- | next time. The Leaf is the fairest shop ! ea over 50 vrs. azo. atched a ball that was dropped uf(‘ of the top of it. Everybody said he '’ couldn’t do it. but he done it on tav ** 14th trial and people thought il was ;a zreat trick till cware Billy Suilivan of the Chicage White Sox and catehed the second ha el oIr, Another hidg will waur te sce. especiaily are exbecting any mail tie 4l lettor office witeh suy has tripled its re- re i et 3 or 4y Wile inaus v Cain’t un Friday the eiiy wi'l begin to fli up * jtomorrow and wne.t day aund most 4 fof the visitors will probably stay in | Washington till | «xpected it would last thi long THE RECEIPTS OF ER OFFICE HAVE golng 1o It out of is heing M:e. being Scared of flash lights bat we haven't intentions of leaveing from the Grand Arriveing in the capital as T s times refer to it, we will be wisked | in a taxi 1o a hotel with a bath. sonly 1 always prefer stopping at a i hotel so as 3 person lappeal. #he gave as one of her rea-ipunts pressed wile you sleep, but of {sons that the judge Who rendered the | coarse m didn’t_have no Stay in a private hous readers will realize that we | lack of invitations Washington friends that I expe. had complained that her case hud |be there at this time and he invited 1 dow't hnow vet what the judge | be the program for the yarious cere- | monies, | 3 i‘h‘-_\' come. aud if people finds out we' Stood wat are there apd begins to r all right and if not, all w all set in regards to ward sh us, why tady of the Lnd w to her hotel “Aunt Hannab attended communion | her clothes they didn't their men right o her hou: { times like they done in my ca for street wear 1 have boughten me ta suit of Mrs. Harding blue. v ockets includeing the vest, i ¥ 5 X ffs on the bottom of the panis an Aunt Hannah' he said, ‘I should! straps around the waist to run a belt through if nessary. . communion when it 1s generally| will wear high 11 shoes of Pumpkin known that you stole a hen.’ { yellow that laces up the middle and ties in a bow The hosery will be plain and very little of it showing. For the inauguration proper I have boughten me a pair of suspenders and also a pair of garters in honor of the vice president If they have a inaugural ball 1 will om up in @ shirt of Chinese 3 515 collar of the ered white and fish of end one of ) 2 i { privately. s With this suit [ Langford bluck w sox of some dark ornaments i place on my knee that for a ash tray New Vrs. if you see it in a certain lig like the knee cap was Pecping Tom of violet talcum powder. HOSE of my readers that is going! to be present and have ne a inauguration will maybe want knew what it is like. next Friday is suppose simple but Well the one to be very they generally always ATy s e v “Dressing for Inauguration - Is Some Job,” W. LARDN Says Lardner s that is opened to s the inaugural pa the cath of offiee address. The pa s and tn the 1s res. Harding and foreign amb Wifem The Was second readers has maybe to Washington be tile about 11 was named after Ges who married Martha Cos y swore a good the Washingte calied the tx becaime . . emoal Warh tis. but they ®a deal himso record 111 Woanhinge of magn Al - ‘ jou go @ block from the hetel you Will £o 8 blocks trying te find the way back. The town is divided into i xcetions wineh is norihwest, north- | carl. southwest and southeast and it wax layed out that way fo wmake it impie and 1 gnes even Houdini could get from one place to anotier if ey was a lot of poticemens in route. no zuide satiied and detters of the - You can s moncy ng alonz 4 atlasx and V= been w lot of ar- about who 1 street wae ! | named after s 2 -1 ()XII of the first buildings you when you get off of the train ix the station. Then they's the govt. printing office where Sam Lioyd mapped out the income tax blanks. =y you will see the’ L O. U. storage ware house, formally .. ton monument witch become fameus k in 1903 or 1910 when Gabby the Washington vatcher. turday night Sun- day March 6 is my birthday wnd everything wiil be closed up. i The last time 1 was in Washington was back in 1917. the first yr. we was at war with rmany. 1 never Ring W. Lardner Great Neck. Feb. 25 A Shooting Story. fthe promises now beinz s QOME made by candidates” said Bel lingham Bray. the efficiency expert at the New York Athletic. Club as fantastic as Farmer Haric shooting story ‘Deseribing @ pest of hirds which hud made their appearsice on his favm, Haricot said 1@ 4 ncighbor 1 was very much troubled wi these winged thieves, for they made terrible havoc among my corn. 1 put scarecrows up Uil I was tired; then 1 took my gun, loaded it with pawder shot, and you should have seen the quantity I brought down. But the next¥morning my boy rushed in doors and veiled. “*“Dad, hundreds of birds in the corn again!”* I grabbed down my gun. put powder. but couldn’t find & %0 1 thrust in « handful of and off 1 ran. Getting to the coru. I yelled pretty hard, and up flew § the birds into a tree. 1 fired, and Wiamed if all the birds weren't nailed 1o the t with their wings flapping as if flying Struck with the sight. | hing them. when-—1 could hardly believe my eyves—the hless<ed things pulled up the tree and flew way with it Deporting Them. \ SENATOR said at a Hecklers are the nightmare of public speakers. Lot sometimes n--:*:u-— useful v “1 remember a heckler at g New brk bolshevik meeting. “The speaker at this meeting, an ardent red. declared epthusiastically that bolshevism was making great Leadlway in America. His au noee. mposed mostly of foreigners, greet- ed this statement with shouts of & proval. One young fellow. however. a splendid type of American man- hood. listened with a disgruntled look on his face. “*l repeat.” roared the orator. ‘that America is at present turming out more bolsheviks than ever hefore™ “‘And can you blame us” shouted S e Snobs. SERT K CHESTERTON, usa English wit, said at a luncheon in New York: hate snobs. Snobs are vulgar. Whenever T hear two snobs discuss- ing the social status of this person of that, I think ‘Well, they -are ne better. than “charwoman.' . iy old charoman. yom kiow, sald one evening over a pot of beer *Mag? Oh, Mag's a lady, she When Mag gets drunk she can tal 4 cab home.'"” -1 ] . G N