Evening Star Newspaper, June 11, 1898, Page 14

} | Written for The Evening Star. Journalism of the last century had a tinge of yellow in it not dissimilar to that which certain metropol new glance at a gland Weekly of of the date fonday, July 17 Troves that animated rhetoric was abund- utilized by er that day. This relic rty of Mr. | W. J. Moriis of this city a remarka- | bly well preserved. Under ard j » the date line é respectively nt and x of the per other si¢ r London of | nd 8. respectively, and local item as follows: last. Wequa an Indian ixe ted here ording to -d upon him for the murder | d. And whereas the | da hafe Inhuman | his own Brother and rmeriy, fo he dyed a ent Wretch, not thewing | Remorfe for any the Actions of his | ner would he own the Murder of nard of which ke wi | victed. He faved us th La- bor of W ‘onfeffion, having made | nene; he to the few Indian: that ‘at him to the Gallows, which Were only his near Relations, all the othe Indians n the leaft Re- | gard. Wh iff askt him If zny cf | the Minifters fhould pray with him 1 he indifferently anfwered, ‘ would; and being ‘asked, = named Mr. Morgan, r, and that becaufe : implyed was all | #| Execu- | of the | in order to Protect the | from any infult of the z Ss of _arri | New York, Philadel- | phia and Boston custom house: , and in the | next column was Important war intelli- | gence for the colonists. The item was sand- | wiche tween a brief description of a} and the deaths and burials in | vas as follows | “On Frvday last arrived here Ca; H berry in a Month tephers P: nad Arms for upon between the | n & France and the | & the King of Spain; | mperor had quitted all Preten Oftend Ti and that each to make “ for 1 ade by t that he } the Forces } the tiens te 5 ie off from | » seattered evi- | » interest were | in a jou nal- | Boston Monday the On the margin of the men announce mted and Sold by at the Printing-H. advertifements ee ee * “When the various- expeditions and sur- vey parties sent cut by the governments of the United States and C: return from | * explained an official of ey to a Star reporter, ults of their investiga { taken in. fons are | ated. the geographical and other fea. | tures of th: far-off land w retty well krown. T will be immediately publish- ed by the ge rnments intereste: is that but litt n was e ical features of Alaska. dit, but furthe: ed to care. It w than t. Schwat- which | t, but it ne. in supplying the de- hich was so much de- mmer when the Klondike dis- re the sensation of the day ans were ily as we off the geogr al er in regard t e boun- that the Yukon aal | rough the country was known, but there was no detai ras tot n fact. anythi way cf informath has two or The geological parties now at commissioner at work there % questions that have arisen in ion with 4 land and titles to mining propertics of the difficulties in connection with Alaska was that the big finds in che way of Mines were right in locality of the boundary a the mat tions are isagreement hereafter, as the survey partie though they do not work om tally . do so as a matter of act. government, which is nterests and posses- four or five commissions at work n he Yukon. The information they gain, l their surveys and maps, will b 1 with th our gov- ernment ing made, so that Alaska will, when they are published, be pretty well known and 4 whether the gold output k tion of fruit bearing trees and nuance is a very important one as far jaryland and Virginia is cc cern: an expert 4 herticulturist to a Star reporter. “There is something radically wrong, and if things-keep up in a fruit way as they have in the past ten “The qu their c | ory | being refu: } rep | is the subject of gossip. | and they > nessee, where blight of any kind has never appeared, and where today peaches prosper as they did in Maryland and Virginia forty years ago. Plums are suffering very badly, and while the fruit looks all right, it falls off just as it is ripening, so that two-thirds of the fruit is lost. Apples have done badly also. The northern stock very extensively planted in Maryland and Virginia during the past ten years has failed to produce as was expected of It. The trees did well enough for six or seven years, but after that they began to fall behind. Nothing can be done, however, until a law can be passed providing for an extermination of the present stock, for there are many farmers who would rather hold on to a than destroy it and run » risk and consequent expense of start- all over again. In my father's days it nothing unusual to find peach trees ing good fruit steadily for twenty-five apd thirty years, but except in very rare instances that has become only a mem- * x £ € * “The stock of Havana cigars which was in this country prior to the war breaking ” said a New York cigar dealer to a reporter, holding out remarkably well, but there is a big hole being made into it. In ant on of war, there were immense purchases of cigars, which were Levght on speculation, for it was clear to very one that necessarily there would be money in the goods the moment a blockade was put into force. Havana cigars are, as @ result, somewhat higher in price than they were in January last, and they will cont ue to rise in price, for if peace were ured next week and the blockade raised very few cigars would come in, for tie simple reason that but few have been made. The workmen who engage in the meking of cigars are either drafted in the Spanish army or are serving in the Cuban army. They are certainly not making cigars, and have not since last fall. Except im a certain trade, the demand for Havana cigars has fallen off enormously in this country during the past three or four years, for the reason that it became fashionable to smoke a less expensive cigar. The bulk of the cigars sold today in this country are known as cheap goods, and are those that retail at five cents and less. The Key West and other Florida cigars are of a little higher grade, cigars that sell for ten cents or three for a quarter, the finest of them be- ing known as the ten-cent straight goods. It is wonderful what progress has been made in cigar making in this country, and especially in machine-made goods. Nearly all the hand-made cigars are sold to what is known as the local trade: that is, bought by tne r direct from the maker. So far he speculation of big producers of Havana cigars has not paid as richly as those in- terested in it wouid have liked, but it is safe to say that it will do so in the end, for there is a class of people in this coun- try, and many of them have enough money to gratify their whim in this connection, who will buy any and ev rything the mo- ment they know it is scarce. The holde of Havana cigars will look to them for their profit, and not for the general trade.” xe ek KK “The map makers and draughtsmen who are specially skilled in connection with publisher to a Star reporter, “have had about all they can do for the past three months, and the demand seems to be in- creasing instead of diminishing. First, the run was upen maps of Cuba, then came the Philippines and the surrounding coun- try in that part of the world. Many of the maps on the market today are merely re- productions of old maps which were out of date long ago, but the public don’t seem to care for accuracy as much as they do | for anything that looks like a map. One ot Y the li: the big advertising concerns in New rk is running owt a map of Cuba and Philippines which was originally pub- ed in IS4s. They are claiming for it had, when act is it is fifty years old and vei plete, even for that day. But it suits > public, and is height of their T have been here for some weeks up data for map making, and have handsomely treated in the Navy Departments, no proper request |, and every facility afforded my work. I was surprised at the amount of map information that was ob- nable in thi » {un the departments, ional library and elsewhere. The Navy Department has nearly.40,000 maps in its map files, and the War Department about aps are the best that have and have been kept up a the minutest detail. Confiden- maps are also on file, of course, but ave not sought any of them, for the s all I wanted, my pur- to supply general infor- 1 was also surprised to find what t amount of photographs there are the possession of the government. In that it is the latest that can be the been v and V me in to date tial Navy Department there are probably photographs of the harbor of Ha- Morro Castle and other places of naval interest in that harbor than are ob- tainable in Havana toda * * Xk * “People moving into the country or sub- urban places have to be much mor> circum- Srect than if they reside in the city,” ob- served a Falls Church resident to a Star ter, “for though they do not know it everything they say or do is observ2d or commented upon. Indeed, the new comer In the city you may not even know the names of the p20- who occupy the houses adjoining you, may not know your’name. You care about it, and neither do they. But in the country it is entirely different. The neighbors are exceedingly anxious to know all about you, and they manage to find out, too, before you live among them long. I moved cut in the suburbs of Falls Church s ral years ago, and though I did rot know it for a long time I and my fam- ily mad» an awful bad impression upon the community. Being a department clerk, den't about the only spare time I had to do odds and ends about the house was on Sunday. My first Sunday, with the aid of a friend, I upied in fixing up swings, see-saws and other means of enjoyment for my childr2n, as well as to entertain the children of the reighborhood, who, I am glad to say, did eive the unfavorable impression of To do this work I scessarily had to drive a few nails and aw a few boards. I made some noise just about the time the church-going people were on their way to church. They heard me and put me and mine down as pretty bad kind of people and altogether unde- sirable as comers into their community. I have kept all my bills promptly paid up, my cattle securely fenced so that they do not intrude on my neighbors, though theirs intrude upon me; but I have never fully recovered from the bad effects of working on that Sunday morning.” * kk * * “The fortune tellers have been doing con- siderable business since the war has brok- en out,” said one of the clerks in the gen- eral delivery window of the city post office to a Star reporter, “judging from the calls for letters at peculiar hours, and generally in the night time. The great mass,of let- ters received in this and all other cities are delivered by the letter carriers, which is the proper way. But with women folks the seers and fortune tellers have a way of deseribing a peculiar kind of man, who is to cross their path in some uncertain way, winding up with a statement that they will receive a letter in a few days which will give them more information about the man in question. Now, just as sure as they are told this the women can- not contain themselves until they get the letter. They are so anxious to get ft that they cannot wait for it to come to them in the regular way, but walk down to the years both of those es will be buyers instead of sellers of fruit. Small fruits do weil enough, ‘but peaches, pears, plums, apples and cherries are doing very poorly. ‘The blight on the peaches is probably the Most serious question, and it is held by Many that about the only cure for it is to destroy every peach tree in both of these States and to start out with seedlings and graftings from entirely new stock. It is also urged that the new stock should be secured from the mountainous part of Ten- post office during the evenings and inquire for it. They seldom get it, but it seems to do them good to ask for it. After they are | toid a half dozen evenings that there is no letter for them, of them in a half- confidential and if-joking way explain their frequent calls by telling that:a for- tune teller told them they were very likely to get a letter. We don’t object to calls of any kind, but many go away with the idea that it is in some way our fault that we have no letter for them, and all because some fortune teller ceive one.” FADAT S8—P* eS ‘THE EVENING STAR, SATURDAY, JUNE REMARKABLE INVENTIONS “Wars and rumors of war’ are stimulat- ing the brains of the country nowadays to produce something calculated to annihilate innumerable Spaniards. Every conceivable idea and design bearing on fortifications, their armament, high explosives, shells and Projzctiles are pouring in daily. Most of the inventive geniuses state that they themselves are without the necessary funds for experimenting with and prosecut- ing their inventions, and th2refore are anx- fous that the government should examine their designs and appropriate money for their investigations. Uncle Sam, however, does not generally fall in with thesa sug- gestions, which 1s not surprising when one knows a few of them. One man conceived: the brilliant idea of firing from a huge cannon an immense pair of shears, which, as they went merrily along their way, should cut in two whole regiments of the unhappy enemy. But the board of ordnance and fortification feared this might interfere too seriously with the comfort of the anemy, especially at meal times, so this inventor was duly informed that his idea did not seem practicable and could not, therefore, be tested at the gov- ernment’s expense with a vi2w to its future adoption for use in the army. Another al- most as startling scheme met the same cruel fate—it was called the “electrical sword.” In this case the scientific execu- tioner was to wear, concealed in his ear, or any other convenient little spot about his anatomy, a powerful battery. Then, when this modern soldier with his advanced fin- de-siecle munition of war, cross2s swords with his antagonist—snap—spish—the latter receives a shock. The enemy disappears in a blaze of lightning and glory, leaving oniy a charred mass behind. But why, since an electric circuit is supposed to hav2 been es- tablished by tne crossing of swords, his op- ponent should cheerfully ride off unscathed with a triumphant smile on his counten- ance, the inventor sayeth not. Possibly some of the New York newspap2rs might; for, having got wind of this wonderful in- vention, they took it very seriously, and pestered the department with frequent in- quiries as to how the invention of “th2 electrical sword” was progressing. It re- minds one of a little joke during the Mexi- can war, when the government had invited suggestions as to the best m2thod of arm- ing a regiment of lancers. John Phenix, with a temerity which nearly cost him a court-martial, sent a plan and drawings for furnishing each trooper with a long lance ending in a hook, the which, it was sug- gested, should be deftly insarted in the enemy's belt, preparatory to placing him on the ground and there dispatching him. In- cidentally the hook would be of service in reclaiming deserters. But ths War Department is not alone honored with these brilliant schemes; the patent office comes in for its skare, and re- cently was called upon to protect the nota- ble discovery of a western minister. It con- sisted in a shell, which at one fell swoop should remove Sagasta, Cervera, his fleet, Spain and any stray dons who might be lingering around, looking on, at Porto Rico or the Philippines. And “the special virtue of this shell,” it was stated, ‘lay not alone in its extraordinary destructive power, but also in th2 fact that it saved the souls of those whose bodies it destroyed.” Considering that its object was te destroy Spaniards this was certainly a most kindly and needful precaution—worthy of the ia- ventor’s Christian calling. ——— WISHES HE HAD MOVED. Had He Done So He Would Have Saved His Clothes, This particular End Seat Hog wore white duck trousers. He had the vacant stare from vacuous eyes that Is characteristic of all End Seat Hogs. He got on at Mt. Pleas- ant about 6 o'clock the other evening, and before the car had gone three blocks he had let two ladies crawl and crush past his pointed knees. Black laborers are re- pairing the concrete between the car tracks up that way. It was the knock-off-work hour for them. One of them, who weighed a good 200 pounds, had to make a run for the car. He didn’t want to soil the End Seat Hog’s pretty white duck trousers by crowding by him, and he stood clutching the hold-ons for a minute, waiting for the End Seat Hog to move over. The End Seat Hogs never move over. They are fatuous to the finish. This big black man, whose blue dungarees were grimy and sticky with asphaltum and tar, wanted to sit down, and he had a right to sit down. He stepped up to make by the End Seat Hog, who scroonched up his legs. Just then the car gave a sudden jump forward--the motor- man’ was increasing the speed--and the big, hard-working black man and brother came down kerplunk right in the white duck lap of the End Seat Hog. It was very enjoy- able, for a fact. Everybody on the car en- it, and showed enjoyment, but the d Seat Hog himself. When the big black man finally elevated his shape from the white duck lip of the End Seat Hog the end Seat Hog’s trousers were a sight. So was his pretty frilled shirt. So was his pretty vapid fa The whole front of the End Seat Hog was black. “"Scuse me, boss, but Ah dun couldn't a- helped it,” said the big black man, smiling miably, and the other passengers in the ar came near taking up a collection for him. eS aS A Natural History Question. While Washington has a public school system second to no city in the land, {t has as well many excellent private schools, and at one of these in the West End, not very long ago, the teacher was giving a class of small boys a few rudimentary and introductory instructions in natural history. Most of the class were pretty well up for children of their age, but one boy was a new scholar and he was not altogether re- Mable in his knowledge. Now, to what class,” said the teacher, “do animals belong which eat meat exclu- vely?”” “Carnivorous,” responded the boy at the top of the row. : “And to what class do those belong which eat grass or vegetable growth of any kina? “Herbivorous,” promptly, “And to what class do they belong which eat both meat and grass?” “Omnivorous,” said the next scholar. Then with an encouraging smile she turn- ed to the new boy. “Now, Wille,’ she asked, “to what class do little boys belong?” “Pienivorous, I guess,” he responded with confidence, and the new order of animal at once became the property of the school. a Put Knots in Your Veil. From the Milwaukee Wisconsin, In buying a veil the other day the sales- girl gave a bit of information very useful. She took the veil, stretched it out full length, and tied a knot in each end, and then one in the center of one side to fit over the hat brim. The knots in the end keep the veil in place, and so make the veil last longer and look better. Besides, it is very much easier to arrange a veil. It is strange how many well-dressed women are careless of their veils. It is not an unusual sight to see the edge frayed or little breaks cr tears. Sometimes you see it has given away on the very end of the nose. Now it looks just as bad—oh, yes, much worse— than it would to see an unsightly scar on the face. The scar cannot be helped, but for careless slovenliness there is not a shred of an excuse. came the next answer, An Unfortunate (%) Accident. (Copyright, 1898, Life Publishing Company.) said they were to re-| George ge (to himself)—"Go rift on! You can just bet I'm dead as SHE MEANT TO ECONOMIZE “It's a great thing.to have an economical Wife,” said thé dierk who makes: financtal calculations with, a -pad and pencil while he eats his h “My wife has got per- sonal economy reduced to a science. We were taking in the shop windows the other evening. She gow her eye on a light bluc made up duck dress, with a lot of whirly- cue, twisty, round-and-round military braid fixings stuck all over it, and she liked it. I thought it was,a pretty shapely looking rig myself, “Now, isn’t that pretty? said she. ‘Just the thing for the board walk.’ “Just now, you know, the women have all got their minds adjusted to what ought to be the real‘ thing in the way of toggery for the board walk. “‘Neat-looking thing,’ said I. ‘Only a juke’s wife could buy it, though, I sup- Pose.’ “Oh, you men people!’ she sald. ‘Why, it can’t cost a cent over $15. “Well, we stood there and looked at the aoe for a minute. It was rather a novel and swell-looking get-up. “‘Might as well go in and look at it, anyhow,’ said I. * “We went inte the store, and the sales- woman had the dress taken out of the window for our inspection. Jt. certainly struck me more and more @§ a peach of a frock. The saléswoman said. {t.was an im- porter’s sample, brought from. Paris, and the only thing of the kind in the country. That was the reason—it being a sample— the price for it was so low—$t¥.50. It was a 36, too, my wife's size. ‘And Minnie‘and Agnes and Estelle and Kate would never in the world be able to make one just like it,’ said my wife, men- tioning her bosom chums’ names, “They could never sew the braid on.’ “ “Well, take it,’ said I. “She tried it on, and it certainly became her to a T. But she had indulged in a heavy line of thinks while she was trying it on, and she concluded she couldn't af- ford the dress, “*You see, Jack,’ sald she to me, ‘I can get three or four pretty wash dresses for $14.50, and there's everything in having lots of changes in the summer, you know. This ts really awfully pretty, but I guess we'd better not take it.’ “‘All right,’ said I, but I was a little dis- appointed, for the rig surely looked stun- ning on her. “Well, we went by another big store, and she saw in the window some dim— what-you-call-it—dimity in the window, marked 6% cents a yard. ““Why, isn’t that cheap? she said. ‘I'll get some of that for one of my wash dresses.” “We went in, and she got twelve yards ot the stuff—78 cents. She was in a brown study while she was buying it. “Tl just ‘trim it with some nice lace,’ said she, and she bought twenty-four yards of lace at a quarter a yard—$6. “The cheap laces are so tacky,’ she ex- plained to me. Then she bought $2 more worth of fixings for the 78-cent dress—I don’t know what you call 'em—shields, or something like that. “This brought the cost of it up to $8.78, and she looked a bit blank over this fact herself. After we got home she figured on the way she would make the dress and worried a heap over it. Finally, she concluded it would be out of the question for-her to make the dress her- self—I_ don't remember why—something about bias or pleats or yokes—I can never make out what they mean, can you? “Anyhow, she took the 78-cent-plus-$8 dress to a dressmaker the next day. The dressmaker ‘ged her $6 for making the thing up. Total cost of dress, $14.78. I didn’t see any $14.78 worth in 1t when she put it on, b Jeagt my head closed about it. “ “That lightblue‘duck was pretty, wasn’t it? she sald to Me, sort o’ regretfully, when she put on her $14.78 dimity. This was on Sunday afternoon, and she went walking. Who should we meet but her bosom friend Kate, looking swagger and ‘way up over the nines in that light blue duck thing with the military fixings? My wife had to swallow her tears of mortifi- cation and praise.the dress, but you wager she never mentioned that she had ever st eyes on it before. She has been kind o solemn over that dimity thing ever since, and I don’t believe she likes her friend Kate quite so much as she did.” a ee THE DIVINE, AFFLATUS. He Knew Just Why He Wanted to Write Poetry. The lterary editor was sitting with bowed head oyer his desk, piled high with manuscripts from a hundred sources, and the angels were bus$ in their bright home above blotting out his remarks with their tears, as angels are said to do on occasion, when his labors were interrupted by the entrance of a visitor. He had all the symp- toms; the editor knew it as soon as he saw his long and unkempt locks, his un- manicured nails, his unvaleted clothes and his dim and lusterless shoes, and he waited for the sacred fount of the muses to be turned loose. “I beg your pardon,” said the caller, coming forward, “but may I, an 'umble devotee, approach the altar of the high "responded the editor, rather flippantly;-perhaps; “that is, if you can find one anywhere around. I think our altar supply is a little short just at pres- ear You see, the war has made a big run on it.” The visitor ignored the irrelevance of the editor. “I am com he said, making a pro- found genuflexion before the editor, “to say to you, sir, that I must write a poem. Must, I say, sir, The power of poetry is strong within me. The—” “How do you know it?” inquired the edi- tor, interrupting him. “What are the sen- sations?” “I know it by a thousand signs, sir, I feel it_coursing. through my veins, sir. When I lay me down in the night time I see strange visions of unutterable descrip- tions. In the morning when I arise the divine. afflatus lays its slow and heavy spirit on me and weighs me down with the burden of its wonderful power. My feet wander through.the paths of the twilight picking up its gloom-as one might pick up the heavy clay upon the muddy roadbed. I start at the footsteps of my. friends as if the Muses trod upon each others’ heels, so fast they follow. I close my eyes and set the darkness spread before me, filled with myriads of stars that beckon me to hitch.my wagon to—" fold on,” exclaimed the editor, break- ing in suddenly, “hold on! You've made a misteke in the “symptoms. That isn’t poetry that ails you; it’s malaria, and you want to take something for your liver and take it blamed quick, or the only poetry that will be of interest to you will be written on a slab of rfarble with a chisel, and you-won't be writing it, either. Good morning,” and the visiter. felt com- pelled to retire. “No, you don*t-want-a drink; you had a drink just before, you went to bed. Now be still and go right to sleep.” © “I do, too, wast au drink!” “Don’t let me speak to you again, child; Bo to sleep.”2 9% 3 . (After five mittutes) “Ma, won't you Please give meadmink?” “If you saynahother word I'll get up and spank! you. Now'go to sleep. You are a naughty girl.” (After two minutes)"‘Ma, when you get up to spank me will you give me ae drink?” Og Her Hands, From Puck. © “Mrs. Johnson—“So-yo’ fink ole Mr&. Jack- son’s husband and five adle-bodied sons heb enlisted and gone to de war? Wot makes. yo’ fink isa — Ealelgh— 3 Sead she’s stopped takin’ colors."* ‘ aa 11, 1898-24 PAGES. HE WAS A THOROUGHBRED At Monday evening’s session of the Liars’ Club, No. 17's turn came around, and he spake as follow: “I need only to preface my remarks, gentlemen, by saying that I have always been passionately addicted to dogs. But I never owned a dog until three weeks ago teday. Then a colored man came to the dcor of my house with a fox-terrler pup for sale. He said the dog was only ten days old, and a thoroughbred from away back—said the pup had been born with his tail bit off, that he wouldn’t grow to weigh acre than five or six pounds, showed me a lot of black spots around the upper part ;of the pup’s mouth, inside, to prove him a thoroughbred, told me I'd win prizes with him for thoroughbredness, and got my ten dollars. I don’t know much about thor- oughbreds, but the pup looked clean and pink and cunnin’, and my wife had always been hankering for a thoroughbred fox ter- rier pup, and so I bought him. We fed him on milk, gave him satin cushions to rest on, and regarded him with a heap of solici- tude. When I got back from the office the rext day my wife looked worried. I asked her what was the ‘matter. She said she feared the pup was growing too fast to be exactly a thoroughbred. I looked thé pup over, and he surely did look a lot bigger than when I saw him in the morning. I weighed him, and he was three pounds heavier. I concluded he'd stop growing right then—that he was making a quick job of growing, to get it done with—and appeased my wife’s uneasiness. When I came home the next afternoon, she looked worried again. It was the pup. He seem- ed to be getting bigger and bigger, she said. Gentlemen, it was a fact. The pup was just three times as heavy as he was when I bought him two days before. I told my wife she fed him too much, and so she said she'd only give him two saucers full of milk a day for a whiie, to see if that 'ud keep him from growing. When { came home the third day, the pup looked like a young mastiff. I thought he had elephantiosis, or something, but he seemed healthy enough. He had eaten all the shoes and hats and doylies around the house, and looked happy. On the fourth afternoon, when I got home from the of- fice, that pup, gentlemen, was the size of a young lion. He weighed twenty-nine pounds and his teeth were like a shark’s. I began to fear he couldn’t be exactly a thorough- bred fox terrier. I concluded there must have been some mistake, and that the pup Was some other kind of a thoroughbred. No pup that wasn’t a thoroughbred could grow like that, I thought. I let him out in the front yard to play. He crawled out of the gate, and in two minutes a little black and tan terrier from next door had chewed both of my thoroughbred fox ter- rier’s ears to a pulp. But he was only a pup, I thought, and couldn’t be expected to fight just vet. Well, to make a long story short, gentlemen, that pup of mine is now the size of a sacred cow; he eats eleven pounds of liver for breakfast every morning, and I’m building a twenty-four- fcot addition to the back part of my house to hold him. I’ve got to keep him chained up, for every time he gets loose some lit- tle two-pound yaller dog comes along and eais portions of my thoroughbred’s anat- omy. I ran across the colored man that sold me my thoroughbred fox terrier yes- terday afternoon, and told him how the pup had grown. The colored man told me that he was simply a giant fox terrier— that dogs once in a great while got to be giants, just like men. What do you all think about it? Was I done?’ Am I a jay, too, besides being a liar.”” ———__ THE YOUNG IDEA. To This Boy There Was One Thing That Seemed Impossible. “If there is one thing more than another which is to our credit as compared with Spain,” remarked a Capitol Hill man, “‘it is the almost universal knowledge of affairs which characterizes our people, as against an almost universal ignorance characteriz- ing the Spaniards. Even our small chiidren are so well up on military and naval terms that they astonish us at times, and what the boys don’t know about the men who have thus far made a reputation for them- selves isn’t worth knowing. As for Dewey, and poor Bagley and Hobson, there isn’t a boy of any age who doesn’t know more atout them than he does of Julius Caesar and George Washington combined. My daughter, who teaches in a mission nday school, tells me of a Dewey experience shi had with a_youngster making his first pearance. She had put him through a heur or more of instruction in the rud' mentary principles, for he was eniir lacking in information on thar poiat, end to test him was reviewing her work with him. “ ‘Now,’ she said, ‘tell me again who made the world and all that is in it?” “God did,’ replied the boy, with com- endable promptitude, “God can do everything, can’t he? che asked again. “The boy hesitated a moment.” “I don’t believe He could lick Dewey,’ he answered, at last, and his teacher sat silent between her religion and ker patriot- ism. It wasn’t her time to say anything, if she didn’t want to lose that boy forever, and she had wit enough .0o iet it go at that.” ee Spanish Sherry. Several Americans were dining at a West End restaurant in London recently, when a@ patriotic Yankee pointed out that sher- ry, the wine hailing from Spain, the land of their hated foe, was on the table, and suggested that it should be removed. One or two objected. The beverage, they thought, was excellent, and they did not see the fun of sacrificing the palate to na- tional sentiment. The contending parties came to something like hot words, when a Hibernian waiter in attendance whispered that he was aware the stuff had no con- nection whatever with Spain—in fact, it had been brewed in London. The dispu- tants changed the subject, but did not call for any more “sherry.” The matter, how- ever, reached the ears of the restaurant proprietor, who, the Daily Telegraph says, showed his appreciation of his too truthful subordinate by discharging him on the spot. SS Saghalien. The only American who has been able to reach the Siberian island of Saghalien is Prof. Benjamin Howard. To Saghalien the worst Russian criminals are sent, but Prof. Howard says that the stories of its horrots, so commonly believed, are greatly exaggerated. nl Dancing and Smoking in Burmah. From Travel. In one village wher3 we stayed the chief man arranged a dance in our honor. Nei- ther he nor we danced; that would have robbed us and him of dignity. He paid somebody else to dance instead. A troop of village girls, with flowers stuck in their newly greased hair and wearing their pret- tlest pieces of silk that serve as frocks, threw themselves into Sill kinds of graceful and other postures. What littl: skirt there was was tight-fitting and hampering in movement. Yet the girls had a freer swing of the body than nautch girls, and all the while they were twisting themselves into fantastic attitud2s they were working their elbows and hands and fingers twitchingly. ‘The most skillful dancer was the girl who could stand statuelike, with face unmoved, while her bosom rose and fell in panting excitement. ‘Then some of the youths danced. First of all, they were seated, and after lowering their heads as obelsance to us they com- menced a song. Suddenly jumping to their feet ard drawing handkerchiefs from their waists, they began pirouetting in th2 most demented fashion. While the women were " JOHNSON: Written for The Evening Star. A Dingnosix, Sorter played out—tha?€ the feelin’ As ketches you once in awhile, which I have influenced the course of pub- lic events. “Are you thinking of claiming credit or assumimg the responsibility for t writtcn as an amanuem Like the sorrowful thought that comes > answered archly, “I don't want stealin’ any credit or any responsibility which are | Te ee not strictly mine,” but think it ought to be known how I averted a feud between Nothin’ particular ails you, two public men of great prominence in the Ye're fit to be up an’ abcut, affairs of this repub It was I who, by Yet somehow yer energy fails you. a stroke of diplomac revented a misun- Ye're jes’ rstanding and promoted harmony of en- ieate Geavor, where discord was seriously threat- ened. I don't claim to be played out. Gor ny ey: y e fo ‘7 But you know that the night has strange | WY Shore im forming th power, The alert young man was tr So tender, yet strong and complete, ted. That it lifts up the witherin’ flower. | ,,Whe are the people concerned?” he ee Sarwar’ cameos eatsen” Sb y are both We're that the morrow will find ‘em ccbacbara tor Ssangrous mink ae hee bea A smilin’ once more, true and stout. ab \ be leuspasedectioaay, ait 4 They ain't left their future behind "em; | the other. He came to me to dictate a let- -" . ter expressing his exact opipion, at thal phevire sen time, of his collesgye's conduct. “The | nace Suage was more vigorous than polite, He played out. had not dictated half a page before I per- ceived that there was danger of arousing So les’ mind the rule which for eges ill feeling beyond the hope of reconcilia- Has been made fur us mortals so plain, | tion. I felt that if I could divert his mind That we needn't go readin’ Gull pages and c A priceless assurance to gain. When yer wishin’ and hopin’ and carin’ Don’t think that its time for despairin’; made up my mind it was time for me to Ye're jes’ put my foot down and see that he paused kind o° + Negi reflection and that he moditied eee “How did you manage?” Pedy “Easily enough. I asked him how he She Knew Better. spelled it. Young Mrs. Torkins looked very indig- sucmiehi; Sn i nant. She slammed the sugar bowl slight- roped ly and her husband turned upon her a glance of mild inquiry. “I didn’t mean to be cross to you, dear, said she, “but some people are too dread- fully provoking for anything.” “Wat's the difficulty now? servant discharged us again?” “No. But the impudence of these people who go from door to door selling things is unendurable They think just because we haven't been keeping house very long they can impose on us and make fun of us to our faces. If you haven't any berries for dessert it’s all their fault.” Her busband said nothing, but lstened patiertly, yet with a hopeless expression in his eye. “A man came to the door with some splendid ones. But I told him to take them back. I wouldn't put up with his assur- Your Progenitors May Number Some- where in Neighborhood of a MIlic From the New Orleans Picayune. Th2 misfortune of this country in not pos- sessing a titled class has long been a source of grief to many sensitive people. In par- ticular has it weighed upon the soul of the American woman. The American man has felt, as a general thing, that so long as his bank account was all right h2 could worry along without a title, but the American wo- man has yearned for coronets and ccats-of- arms and refused to be comforted because they were not hers. The idea upon which cur government is found>d, that one man is as good as another, if not a little better, doesn't go with her. Of course, many wo- men have acquired noble ancestors by right of purchase, but every one who yearns for Has the ance s position has not the wherewithal to buy. “Wanted to charge you too much, did) Lords and dukes come high, and tnere is a he?” “ ntly advancing market, © in “No, indeed, he came down three cents and barons. In this dilemma (he in- “Boxes weren't full measure?” axes : mough; but he | SeBtive genius of the Yankee came to the “Yes, they were large ei 3 | front and devised th alphabetical societies, grinned at me like this,” she went on, gi¥-| and the American women became dause ing a sardonic imitation, “and said, “Lady. | ters of various societies, that are a kind of these is fine. These is real, regular Branch | ynderstudy aristocracy. A fashionable wo- pees ae it he could make me believe | man who spends her time tracing her See rid cites Ba ni cestry back to some revolutionary sold z ae ee eee with an in-/ or colonial dame would probably throw a lit lonation of ca’ asf = | if he ered tors shoulk alk in en “Now, Charley, you know as well as 1! if her ween “apenas eeneal peereipetiad do that they don't grow on branches. They i peepla, Tanoonalitg &b his otaeeaA eiber grow on a kind of straw. and she would hustle them up the back fag before the servants couid see them. y are safely out of the way, and it Infantile Slumber. = < now and she is happy in hor make- “Here,” said the doctor, “is something | polieve superiorit that will make you sleep like a baby.” | | Recently @ certain smart set in the cast Mr. Blykins looked at the blending hues | have gone the re wolutionary J “pried eae ter. These exclusive dames call themseive of a boll on his wrist with an expression of | {f5. ijn" exclusive ETE sadness. hunt for king to whom they « “Of course, doctor,” he said, deprecating- their ancestry ack the ly, “you understand your business.” sin er} count oe col- The physician glanced up from the pre- << of bes wei = doe scription he was writing, but made no} Wii‘ay “ir ins all that. reply. “I won't venture to dispute your knowing | To women who sorbing occupat just what I need,” Mr. Blykins continued. | it may ay weapon ite pegs coat So 2 Se that should entiti> tiem to become trary?” inquired the doctor, as he paused | hters of anything they ike. A familly in the middle of a cabalistic symbol. just dead easy n you know how “No, I have no doubt that prescription | it. At the first remove | two ancestors—father and mothe is good for me. It is just what I need, if you say so. But I haven't the self-control, the moral firmness, the self-abnegation to take it. I'd rather drift along in my care-| Sreat gra less, uninformed fashion, even if it isn’t so ou have four. andmothers. hext step and two ¢ wo ach cf t you ha four great grand- niothe again had two pecan perents, so that at the fourth generation “What are you talking ut?” came the back you hay ixteen ancestors, at the rather abrupt inquiry. “Your prescription that is golng to make me sleep like a baby. As I said, you know your business, but it seems to me a sheer waste of medicine. It’s all I can do to keep from squirming and yelling half the night as it is.” fifth you have thirty-two, at the sixth you ha’ si r, and at the seventh you s you go a little further they rise to the thousand tens of thousands and hundreds of thousands, so that if your direct ancestors for twenty generations be * * * A Respectable Epitaph. He had no scion to Send out, Untrained, to military fame; He never worried much about The way the papers spelled his name, Small was the figure that he cut ‘When warlike folk would meet and plan. He wasn’t ‘any hero—but He paid his taxes like a man. Brees they total 1,000,000,000,000, ae Gloves Must Match. From the New York Herald. It will be necessary this summer for your gloves to match your frock. The styles are insistent on this point, and woe to the wo- man who tries to override the law. The fashion is so imperative, In fact, that when you order a frock of any sort at your dress- maker's you must speak to her about the gloves to be worn with ft. Does she know her business she will at ence put a sample of the frock in your hand and order you to go forth at once and purchase your gloves from it. If the said frock is one of the new tints, anything out of the usual range of colors, you must have your gloves made to order to get the pre- cise hue The glove of the summer is to be of suede, and this material dyes admirably, any given tint being readily imitated in it. This having gloves made to order is rather an expensive affair, of course, but in many cases it will be the only solution of the problem this season. The favorite colors will be green, gray and brown, as these are to be the popular tints for cos. tumes. All are of exceedingly pretty and novel hues. Still another new glove of the moment is of black suede, with little white lines on its back. This is intended to be worn with black and white dresses, and, with such a is one of the daintiest ideas of the With worldly wealth which he controlled, His way was business-like and cool. His charities were seldom told; Straightforward dealing was his rule. He never scorned a profit small; A proposition he would scan For close advantage. Yet, withal, He paid his taxes like a man. And when a future patriot band Lists to the stories that are told, A thought will come of some weak hand That clutched and kept a nation’s gold; And he who went his honest way Will not be least in all the clan; They'll take their hats off and they'll say He paid his taxes like a man. * * * A Poser. A young woman paused in the midst of the alphabetic mysteries which she so deftly executed on the typewriter keys to remark: “It's a strange thing that I have never been interviewed.” “On what topic?’ inquired the young man with the alert eye and the intellectual forehead. “Why, on the part I have played in the affairs of my country, on the manner in soe A Project. From Puck. Mrs. Brown—“My brother-in-law’s cousin has gone to the front.” Mrs. Jones—“And my cousin’s brother-in- law. Why can’t we organize a society ta be known as the ‘Daughters of the Cuban War?” (Copyright, 1898, Life Publishing Company.)