Evening Star Newspaper, February 11, 1893, Page 11

* THE EVENING STAR: WASHINGTON, D. C, SATURDAY. FEBRUARY 11, 1893—SIXTEEN PAGES. THE CHICAGO, STEEL PROTEC GRAND NAVALPARADE The Review of Warships in New York Harbor. GUESTS OF THE NATION. ‘The Inspiring Spectacle im Honor of the Columbian Exbibition—Nations That Will ParticipateHow the United States Will Be Represented—-The Columbus Caravels. ‘Wr:tten for The Evening Star. LL HAIL THE COM- ing naval review! Glori- ous it is sure to be in auy event, but if our government's plans sue- ceed it will be thrilling beyond parallel, and, without qualification, the grandest marine spectacle ever witnessed times. matchless array of mighty bsttle ships to parade in York harbor, the navies of the world’s infancy were the merest toys The Persian “ships” that gathered by thousands at Salamis, and the Roman and Egyptian galleys that darkened the Medaterranean off Actum, were relatively but insignificant ships on the surface of the sea. The invincible Armada of 136 huge Spanish galleons represented a total tonnage of only 60,000, while the combined tonnage of the mon- ster ironclads embraced in the approaching re- view will aggregate not lose than 850.000. Even the vast wooden fleets of England, France and Spain on the Nile and at Copeubagen snd Tra- falgar, so dreadful aud death-dealing a bun- dred day ago, could ail be annihilated in a y & single specimen of these modern steel leviathans, Of pagennts of recent years ueen's jubilee in 1886 ortsmouth in Kaiser William's honor in 1490 were by far the most imposing, bat both of i hereafter rank inferior and secondary in contrast w.th this unexampled muster of the picked navies of the whole globe. As » peace- the that of and that the ful spectacular display alone it will be of unique and surpassing inte das an appropriate preinde to opening of the world’s fair it cannot but be em: citous. But as an object lesion and demonstration to our people of the height of human developmen? and achievement in ship buildin close of this ninctee be simply immensura’ IN HAMPTON ROADS. ‘The rendezvous preliminary to the review Will be at Hampton Hoads, Va., where the ships Will assemble from the last of this month until b century its value will REAM ADMIRAL GHERARDL April 26, and the renew pro; im New York harbor. beginning the first week im May and continuing probably several dave and nights finest sbip* in our new navy will together sith from forty to fifty ua in ancient or modern | Compared with the | mammoth naval | | will take place Not lees than tweaty-two of the - | Participate, | Not the least interesting among all the a: foreign ves- | cembled craft will be three Spanish carave! 5.000 seamen will be required to Man our own ships aud 20,000 the foreign ones. | historic ‘The staty or seveuty great warships listed in | lumbus ‘TED CRUISER steel protected cruiser. 4,010 tons; the York- | town, steel gunboat, 1,700 tons. Ot the North Atiantic squadron—The Chicag: steel protected cruiser, 4,500 tons: the Philade! phia, steel protected cruiser, 4,324 tons: the Concord, steel guaboat, 1,700 tons; the Atlanta, steei protected cruiser, 3,189 tons; the Veeuvins, sieel dynamite cruiser, 930 tons; the Kearsarge, steam bark-rigged. 1.550 tons. Of the Sout! quadron—The Newark, steel protected $3 tons; the Benning: | ton, steel gunboat, 1,700 tons; the Essex, steam | bark rigged, tons. Of the new ships—The New York, steel ar- | mored eruiser, 8,150 tons; the Detroit, steel | Protected cruiser, 2,000 tons: the Montgomery, | steel protected er! 000 tons; the Machias, steel gunboat, 1.050 tons; the Castine, steol gunboat, 1,050 tons; the Cushing, steel torpedo | Doat, 116 tons: the Bancroft, steel practice vos sel, 888 tons; the Miantonomob, steel monitor, 9.990 tons; the Columbia, steel protected ‘cruiser, 7,350 tons. Of the ‘foregoing the Columbia, 21,000 horse power, with a record of 22 kaote per hour, and | UVIUS, | the New York, twin screw and double turreted, | the most powerfal U. 8. vessels afloat. The | Essex is of the type affected by the last generar | | tion, as is also the renowned man-of-war Kear- | sarge, the victor over the confederate cruiser | | Alabama in the late war off Cherbourg, France, in 1864. Besides these the dispatch boat Dol- phin will take part, carrying distinguisbed au- thorities on board. THE NATION'S NAVAL GUESTS, The greatest marine nations have accepted the invitation of this government, officially ex- tended through President Harrison, to joix in tne review. Down to date the Navy Dopart- ment has received acceptances and information ESTO that wer squadrons of itable size will be y Great Britain, Italy, France, Rus- | Spain, Austria, Netherlands, 4 Sweeden and Norw: | agents will be dispatches tine Republic and Hayti. | P are all naturally | anxious to outdo one another in the display of | strength, so that the fleet that each will send may be regarded as the best representation of that nation's uavy. Great Britain, as the fore- | and that smaller coi by Brazi [the Pacifi ———— less nawiclay thea the heavy and cumbersome } foreign batile ships of the largest siaee, they | can be the more fully marehaled and dex- | terously handled in the intricate evolutions of | — review. =e 4 | leven foreign nations have respectfully de- | slined to participate China, Japan, i Siam, Mexico, Ecuador, Nic Belgium, | Salvador and Costa Hiea—but with the excep- | tion of the first three, those nations either have | nf navies at all or none to speak of, and the | defense ships of China and Japan ate never | permitted to leave their own More- | over, China an@ Japan do not specially desire | ir warships inspected by other | | | PREPARING FOR THR REVIEW. For monthe back there has been incessant activity among certain bureaus of the Navy Department in preparation for the review, and Secretary Tracy and Assistant Secretary Boley have devoted untiring efforts toward its success. General details as to the temporary enlistment of extra seamen, the reproduction of the Spanish caravels, the entertainment of | our foreign quests, the pushing forward to| completion of a number of our unfinished ves- | sels in order that thoy may take part in the) celebration, and the procurement of coal, [equipments and stores, have all been carefully mand. worked out and provieion made, Rear Ad-| THE CASTINE roft Gherardi, now in command of aadron, is ordered, after March miral Ba} 1, to exercise the sapr and of the combined fleets in the re Hear Ad- | miral Benham, commander of the South Atlar- tic squadron, and Rear Admiral Walker of the North Atlzatic are required to report to him, with the ships of their respective commands, at such points as he may designate. Almost everything has been done thus far that can be done to perfect the necer- sary arrangements, The responsibility for the success of the demonstration will naturally rest with the present Secretary of the } but inasmuch as the incoming Secretary will be called upon to supervise the execution of the plans now formed the finish- VAMITE CRUISER ing tonches and minor details will be left to him. Considering the short interval, however, between the change of administrations and the celebration of the review comparatively little more can be done by the new Secretary than the completion of the smaller details and general direction afterward, and the country will THE edification and smusement to the haif million | spectators drawn to the scene. { ‘THE PROCESSION OF WARSHIPS | up the Atlantic coast from the roads to New York will bea triumphal pageant unprecedented in naval annals. In the fleet and in the sepa- rate squadrons the foreign vessels will be ae- signed positions in accordance with the rela- tive rank of thelr commanding admirals, U. 8 S, COLUMBIA, STREL CRUISER. Great Britain has a grade known as ‘admiral of the fleet,” which is higher than any other grade in any other navy, e nding on Jand to tho military rank ‘of field marshal of the army. It is therefore probable, aside from other reasons, that the British admiral will be the senior among the guests, ualers other foreign nations decide also to send admirals in com- In that case such admirals would bo junior in rank only to our own Gherardi, EEL GUNBOAT. Senfority is the basis of precedence in the navy, and unquestionably this will be the guiding principle in the present instance. THE ORDER OF PROCESSION has not yet been determined, but in all likeli- hood, according to information from the Navy Department, the great fleet will move north- THE MIANTONOMOM, STEEL MONITOR. ward in three grand divisions of approximately equal size, ech division embracing from twenty one to twenty-four vessels, If arranged other- wise, in a single squadron, with three columns twenty vessels deep, and ‘with the regulation distance of two enables’ length from mainmast to mainmast, the procession would be over half @ maile wide and nearly six miles Jong too long, in fact, to be ensily controlled. Hence it almost certain that Admiral Gherardi will de- doubtless have the pleasure of observing how | cide to conduct the fleet to New York in three smoothly under the republican system ar- rangements made by one administration are carried out by its successor. WHEN ADMIRAL OHEKARDT ARRIVES, Meanwhile the completion of the concrete plans for the maneuvers at the rendezvous and at the review await only the arrival of dmiral Gherardi. That commander, with his ewift-winged Pacitle squadron, isat thismoment in the near neighborhood of the Barbadoes, having left Montevideo three weeks since, and is expected to reach Fort Monroe by the end of next week ora few days later, in company with Rear Admiral Walk: fleet of six and possibly with Near Admiral Benba1 re- cently sojourning in the Mediterranean, ‘and delegated to convey the Spanish caravels from Cadiz. Of the other United States Tie that will take part im the great it all are in American waters and clove 2 band, ‘As soon as Admiral Gherardi reaches Hamp- tou Roads be will map out the program for the | THE most naval power of the world, proposes to send ten of her first-class battle ships, includ- ing ber famous channel squadron. France will robably send nine of her most formidable ironclads, headed by the superb Raudin, of Russia is expected to dispatch ships of war, Germany will con- | tribute six, Italy five, Spain four and Austria | four, while Portugal, Greece, Norway and | | Sweden, Brazil, Chile, Argentine Republic and Hayti will each detail one or two of their best. >LUMBUS’ CARAVELS. constr i efter the exact similitude of Pinta, Nina and Santa Maria—Co- * own deet—the first two built at Cadiz _THE PHILADELPHIA, STEEL-PROTECTED CRUISER. ‘ 1 this gigantic aggregation, representing an out-| at the '$200,000,000 and manned by 25,000 men, will all be of modern design and lay im cost © the finest and most advanced types ae at 2: The steel Se td steel protected cruiser, 4,053 tons, the Charleston, Of the Pacine each in itself a triumph of other tendered by en CRUISER BALTIMORE rendezvous and the trip to New York. By the middle of March, no doubt, the respective foreign governments will have officially com- municated to our Navy Department the preci number and names of the vessels they will ren: With this data at band Admiral Gherar CARAVELS OF COLUMBUS. Fested as he is with plenary authority, ean speedily fix and ine the position of each squadron in the tleet and of each vessel in its particular squadron. TO DE WELCOMED BY THE DOLPHIN. Most of our own vessels wall be in the roads early in April and among them will be the dis- patch boat Doiphin, bearing either the Presi- dent or his official and pervowal representative to receive and welcome with due formalities the foreign squadrons arriving from abroad. While the foreign ships are asvowbling tbe offi- cers will be entertained by our Fort ‘Monroe—not extravagantly prediesily, to be sure, but generously and h measure of cordial ity as will ‘the host nation and maintain the high ‘occupied by our government smong the nations of the ‘THER MONITOR AXED MERRIMAC. One of the brilliant features of the rendex- ‘Vous will be a shan battle betweon ironolade of the types of the old Merrimac and Monitor, to Sew where t squadrons or divisions. With this mothod the distance between the head and sterumost ves- sels of each squadron would be but little over THE ESSEX, STEAM BARK-nIGOED. two miles, which is within ready signaling distance. ‘So far as is known, no procession of this kind has ever been conducted before. ‘THE CODE OF SIGNALS. Another important task devolving upon Ad- miral Gherardi when he arrives will be the se- lection of a code of signals to be used in com- mon by the entire aggregated fieet. It thought by naval officers and oificials that the modified Myer code—a flag rignal systom—re- cently issued by the naval bureau of navigation for recommendation aud trial. will be chosen, inasmuch as it is found to fulfill all the require- ments of a general code, being at once simple and comprehensive. Inaddition the flag hoists now in tse im our navy will probably be so ar- ranged ax to form a supplementary code. cov- ering ail the conditions that may arise ai sea and in port. IN NEW YORK HARDOR, Still another point of moment to tke success of the affair will be the proper policing of Now York harbor aud bay, in order that the move- ments of the fleet may not be impeded by swarms of spectator craftand “camp followers.” The problem is receiving diligent study at the Navy Department, and every possible tion will be taken, in conjunction with the local New York authorities, to avoid embarrasement at the review on this score. Of course the operations contemplated in the review would be impracticable without free scope of water, and the necessity of adequate provision to this’ ‘end cannot be overrated. THE EVOLUTIONS w York harbor will doubtless be pro- longed through several daya and nights and will include no end of intricate and beautiful processional figures, sham battles, tactical Movements, races, wheelings, gyrations and counter sailings. ‘There will’ be undreamed splendor on the sea and pleasure on the shore. ‘The placid waters of Manhattan will bo lashed TELEGRAPHIC BULLS. How Mistakes Are Madein the Trans- LUDICROUS JUMBLES. Curious Phases of Life as Developed in = Large Telegraph Office—Combinations of Words With Funny Resulte—How a Broker | Lost ©25,000—Stories Told an Evoning Star | Reporter. —+_—_. OR AN INSIGHT into the follies and foibles, the bright, the sad and the coarser strata of human nature | ‘the large operating | room of the Western | Union Telegraph Com- Pany up on 15th atreet fe the place to visit. Day in and day out the hundreds of little brass sounders and relays are ticking off messages from every part of the globe, while the deft fingers of half a hundred bright young men are adding Washington's quota to the happenings of the world. Among the thousands of messages that pass to and fro from that big operating room and the outer world it would be extraordinary, indeed, if something humorous, bright or sad were not | happening every day. Take position from | which a view of ‘the faces of the operators can | be had, and it will frequently be seen that smile and sometimes a hearty laugh will itumine the frontispiece of « manipulatcr of brass, denoting that something out of the usual | has come to his notice. Mistakes in spelling or | g of words will form a combination | isinator of Volapuk would look upon | with admiration. Then, again, one of the men whose contact with the world and the handling | of products of great minds has made keon and | witty will get off something worthy of a pro- fessional humorist which will be told to thore | near by, andas a resulta ray of suusbine scattered in that locality that relieves the monotony of hard work. Between the lapses ot * (no-tnore-in) two men working a duplex will tell of thoir trayela; one, perhaps, hailing from Canada and tho other from Florida, while an old veteran that has seen service in the field with the Union army will Jean over their shoulders and remind them that there are others who have had experiences besides which theirs are but gambols in the sunshine. In days gone by there existed a close friend- ship between the newspaper correspondents and telegraphers, but of Inte a wonderful change has taken place. During the war and for some time thereafter they ate and drank together after their night's Inbor was done and the dawn of day froquently found them in each other's company. At the present time their re- lations toward each other have become some- what formal. The press boys have beautiful club rooms to lounge in now, while the brasa poanders, not being so lucky, generally go home immediately after being relieved from work. ‘This may account for the estrangement. It used to be the cnstom during holidays for the members of the press to remember the big | force up in the Corcoran building with cigars, wines, cake and fruit. Those were spread in the operating room on a table accessible to all. Perhaps the newspaper boys of those days were shrewdor than’ those of the present time. as they surely lost nothing by their liberality Copy sent in by a newspaper representative that was known would be rushed off ina manner that would make tho correspondent of today open his eyes in wonder. Five minates can be easily lost or gained ina telegraph office, and while none is lost today who will say that the tive minutes is gained. Itsometimes happens to a newspaper correspondent that five minutes is almost eternity. RESULT OF WINE IN AN ICE COOLER. A good story is told at the expense of the operating force, the incidents occurring when the newspaper boys and telegraphers were closely allied. It seems that during one of these annual spreads, spoken of above, tho wine was poured into'an ice cooler #0 as to be conveniently available. ‘The boys were enjoy- ing the good things furnished and lauding the donors ‘to tho skies, when one of them, in » spirit of mischief, poured a different brand of wine into the cooler, tho mixture being highly intoxicating. Everybody was drinking from the cooler and in about ten minutes a great change came over the entire assemblage. Over in the corner a man that was working a through wire to Cineiunati had completely succumbed, his bead had dropped forward on his arms and ho was sleeping the sleep of the just. Another tman_ near the center of the room began to feel good and commenced to tell everybody in the room about it, while here and there thronghout the room heads could be seen nodding and natches of maudlin songs broke the harmou- ious sound of the many instruments. ‘Thon came the final act to the scene. Over in the corner, near the head of the stairway that entered the room in those days, sat one of the best operators in the country. He was tak- ing press matter with @ stylus upon carbon sheets and tissue paper and at the end of each page tore the sheet off very deftly and started anew on another page without breaking the sender. He had gone too frequently to the magnetic water cooler and began to feel the effects of the wine combination. As he pulled off one of the sheets he threw too much strength and movement of the body into the action and back he went out of his chair head over heels. He didn't stop with falling out of bis chair, but continued on down the old stairway with thun- derous thumps, accompanied with yells of di may, the effect’ being highly ludicrous, but at the same time startii rybody rushed to the head of the stair- way and one or two with clearer heads ran down the steps and gathering the man up in their arms brought him back to the operating room. Providence took good care of him, as @ few slight bruises were the ouly marks visible aso result of turning complete somersaults down a flight of thirty-five stops. This startling termination may have been the cause for the cessation of these Christmas festivities, MISTAKES IN SENDING. A reporter of Tax Evexrne Star wended his way up the thousand and one siairs that lead to the operating room in the Corcoran building one night recently and came scross ahalt dozen telegraphers in the cloak room. They were talking “shop,” of course, and the reporter became an attentive listener. Said ‘one of the parts “Let me tell you about a telegraph bull that came under my observation today. The man that made it was receiving press matter. It concerned the mayoralty contest in Long Island | associatio: | panied with a report like that of a gun. sage was a first-class one and in almost fault- less Morse ticked off: “To Gen. Fits Lee, when he was stopped by the receiver in this | city with the query: “Is that Gen. Fitz Lo;” | “No,” came ticking back, “it is Gen. Pitz Lee.” | ‘The words were spelied off slowly ana the re- | ceiver must have gotten it all right this time, | for he replied: ““Confound these Chinamen, I never could get their names right.” The story reached the ears of Gen. Lee's pri- vate secretary and through him tae general was made aware of the joking with his name. Gen. Lee was governor of Virginia then, and at a banquet a few days later he retold this tale | at his own ut in such matchloss | story-telling style that it was received with roars of laughter from all presont. “Changing the subject,” said one of the group, “there was a funny message went over my wire today. It made everybody on the line laugh and putin some word of comment. It “**Dear Grandma: Iam born. Mother doing well; sends love.” “Tt wasa girl The message came from New York and was rebandied for Richmond.” A RED-EADED sToRY. “Talking about fanny or strange incidents,” said another, “there wasa remarkable train of coincidences that came under my notice about six months ago while Iwas working ont at Pittsburg. dropped into the receiving room to try and ‘brace’ the cashier for a little loan and while there a red-headed man came in and wrote a ‘onared blank. It was handed to a red-headed counter clerk, who, after check- ing it and pocketing the cash, handed it toa -headed boy tosend up the tube. I went up the elevator to tho operating room and found that the message bad been given to red-headed operator to send over the wire and that its destination was Red Bad, Il.” This story was received in silence and several looks of reproach were cast in the direction of the teller of the red-hended story. An operator just in from Georgia, where he had been frozen out by a consolidation of press | said: “A court down in Georgia has decided that ‘no telegrapa company ain't excused’ from using care because & is ungrammatical. Right on the heels of this came another decision from the same court ex- empting telegraph companies from penalties for failing to deliver mestages on Sunday. I | attempted to be facetious at the expense of these two decisions in a crowded bar room one | day and came mighty near receiving a dose of lead. Three revolvers were placed under my | nose so quick that it made my hair raise right up and my apology was most profuse and came instanter. At this time a man joined the group from tho operating room and glancing around said: “Telting stories again? When will you fellows ever stop talking ‘shop’? You're old enough to know botter. | came in a choras from the said one, “we are talking ‘shop’ and we went you to join ua. ‘Tell us one | of your best before you turn in for the night.” | Tho man designatedas Lew hesitated a minute | as if in doubt, but the appeal of his companions was too strong and he decided to talk ‘shop’ | with the rest. He raid: THE COUNTRYMAN'S FRIGHT. 1 “About five years ago I worked at a summer | resort down on the Long Island coast. One | evening an old countryman strayed into the oftice and soon had me pouring over the intric- | acies of the telegraph business generally. While | thus engaged a thunder storm came up, and of | course the usual lightning flashes came in on | the switchboard. Suddenly the lightning dropped red-hot ‘soit somewhere in the vi- cinity of my office and the result was that a ball of fire shot through the office and in close proximity of the old farmer's bead, aceom-| “The old man gave a yell of dismay, lurched backward over a chair, cut his scalp and landed | in a heap in the corner. I finally sueceded in | quieting him -with the assurance that no harm was done. “What was it? Holy gee, didn’t it come | close?" he said. “Itold him that it was lightning and ex- plained that the wire was overcharged with electricity, aud not being able to carry the load | had exploded. “The old man edzod toward the door, ten- derly feeling the cut on his head, and when he reached the doorway turned and said: ‘Great Jerusalem! Just think what would happen if the Atlantic cable ever got overcharged; just think of it!” “The inst I saw of the otd fellow he was going down the road rubbing his head and! every few minates turning and looking back at my office as if desiring to put as much space between it and himself ae ho possibly could.” “Telegraphic mistakes or bulls are liable to erop out at any time.” said an operator in the group just in from New York. “‘Ax a result of one I am now in Washington. Every one in this crowd will vouch for my capability as an operator and steady habits. About a month ago I was working for the Western Union at the produce exchange office. The heaviest business there is done with Chicago and the wires fairly hum between the hours of 9 a.m. and 3 p.m. A MISTAKE IN PORK. “You remember the great advances made in pork about that time? Well, one day one of the biggest men on the exchange, speaking in a business sense, came rushing ito the eand hauded in a ‘message for Chicago. It read: “Buy five thousand barrels of pork at best fig. ure.’ Trashed that message off with all the speed I possess, as the dilference of an eighth in an order like that is considerable, In about ten minutes an answer came back on the re- ceiving vide of the duplex saying, ‘We have sold five thousand barrels of pork, as ordered.” “In one minute more that broker was in the office white as a sheet and pulling his bair. The market kept going up, and according to that message he was on the ‘short’ side. It took about ten minutes more to straighten that tangle out, but in that time something like $1,000 was lost. ‘The company gave me the option of paying that amount or sliding out of position, and I shd. They had to make that amount good. How the word ‘sell’ for *buv’ got in there is a mystery to me, as Iam willing to make affidavit that I transmnitted it correctly. Tho Chicago office was #0 positive that it was my mistake that the manager at the ‘New York end of the wire refused to listen to y explanation. Of course there is euch a thing as optical itlusion and absent-minded- ness, but I'm sure Iam not troubled that way. “That office has had hard luck in regard to mistakos, unintentional and the reverse,” con- tinued the man from New York, “and that may have accounted for my summary dismissal. About six months previous to the ‘ball’ I’ per- petrated one of the operators in the office had tried to square accounts with one of the brokers through whom he bad lost considerable money, the savings of several years. “Tho operator claimed that the loss was brought about by underhand dealing on the part of the broker, but he kept his own counsel and resolved to square matters if such a thing was possible. “His time came. It was during the corn flurry last spring when that cereal’ was on a continual boom for faily amonth. At the time it took its great slump the broker spoken of must have secured a ‘tip’ from the inside, for he sent an order to sell an immense quantity of corn short. As fate would have it this City between Gleason and Sandford. My neigh- bor received the latter gentleman's name as ‘Mrs. Ann Ford’ and maintained that it was eent that way.” “Here's a better one than that, chimed in another member of the gang. ‘‘A ‘man up the country wired a certain sash factory in a neigh- boring city to ‘Send two dozen frames.’ The receiving operator made it read: ‘Send two dozen frags." Ho was a sort of absent-minded fellow and us he looked over the copy thought the sender must have misread the: 0 be corrected it to suit his idea of what it be and made it read: ‘Send two dozen f1 In due course of time the frogs were shi; to the man up the country, an investigation fol- lowed and the chair of the absent-minded gen- tleman held « new occupant.” it you said you'd never live wit Your mother-in-law,” said Ups’ i ‘ f fr ii | é i cy z 4 if j Hi | gi ff came into the hands of this operstor, and at a Elance he recognized the sender. “The message was in cipher, but through ious private Stings With the broker he new the code by heart, Without « blink of the ye that man changed the import of the message, making it read ‘buy’ instead of ‘sell.’ and as the order was a large one the answer to it did not show up until haif an hour later. The broker could only recover the actual loss sus- tained while matters wore being straight- ened up, and by the time this was done the slump came and the opportanity was Lowi, “The broker by a little ing showed the manager how he had lost an even cool $25,000 by the mistake and waited with a heavy cane in gen- | heard this GETTING INVITATIONS SOME DO AND SOME DO NOT. An Explanation of the Difference—If You Ares Swell You Are Loaded With Invita- Hons; If You Are Not You May Get Let. -_ HAT Is THE FIRST essential of @ society man?” Sach was the question put by a writer for The Stan tow ciety man of the first de- Bree. without hesitation, “in Vitations, of course. invitation “Ab,” be said, shak- ing his head wisely, “that's my secret. Iam not going to disclose the mystery of my patent, $0 that another man may profit by it. It fs, indeed, an essentint thing for a man to have invitations, if he would be « society man, and yethow many men there aro who call themselves society men who few invite tions, These men go to the theaters and lar places, the admission to which is ot by the purchase of a ticket, and show the selves a but ther have invi- mi~ ‘They sometimes belong to the and associate constantly with men pathway is strewn with cards of invitation enucs with leaves in the autumn, but they bave not discovered how the great desiderata f life is accomplished. It will be interesti to consider what the usual methods re for invitations are. GRT PERMISSION To CALL, First of all calling is tried. To get the per- mission to do that much all that is necessary is to be introduced to the Indy you want to cal! | on, to converse with hera few moments as pleasantly as you know how, then to ack her | when her reception day is and whether vou may do yourself the pleasure of calling u} her. ‘Toll her you have beon wishing to go for some time: that so-and-to (the man who intro dneed him), offered to take you there, but that your illness has prevented you from accepting his offer; that now you will, af she doesn't object, take the great liberty of coming by yourself. To all of this she will give a ready enongl assoni and the next reception day sbe haa you can go in end sce her. There youare, then. You have met her and you have been to her house. Just sit still and wait for an invitation for one of her parfies. Perhaps you get one, bat the again, perhaps you may not do anything kind. You may depend that if she d already know ail abent you she has go work and inquired, aud de. Upon what was the result of her inqu suppose this to be the result of her ingu She finds you are an honest man, mach esteemed in the business or professions! world, that you make © moderate sum of money sufficient for purposes of respectability that your habits are exemplary and that you are said to be considerable of « reader." Hav: ood report, will she invite you to her parties? She may and she may not, bat the report is not going toinfluence her one way or another. IF YOU ARE ASWELL, ALL EIOHT. But suppose sbe hears this report: That you are the cousin of the Croesus family and a genuine swell by birth and bringing up. That you lead germans and are a dinner party man. ‘That you stay at Newport every summer. My ‘ou Will be invited to her parties, and it makes no difference whether you are wise or stupid, rich or poor, honest or dishon- est--these thingy have nothing to do with it at all. But will the fact of vour going to the par- ties make her have a good opinion of you, or admire you, or marry you? Not atall. “It ma) be the very’ men she does not mvite to her en- tertainments are the very ones abe admires most, That is always one of the peculiarities of life in society. You may go toa lady's hous* quite often, and, after awhile. you may notice that sometimes vou see, sitting in the background and looking rather awkward, a male visitor with gold-riramed spectacies and a serious cast of countenance. You wonder who he is and you notice that he never appears at the dinner parties or balls that the Indy gives, At the end of the season ron are coolly in formed what this man’s name is ahd farther that the lady and he purpose gotting married, having been engaged for six months. But for that matter i! ia not always the flance that is a retiring man and not fond of society, but the husband himself is sometimes averse to the balls and dinners which are sucha delight to | his wife. If his dislike for them is overcome by his fondness for his wife, aud he goes with her wherever she goes, be merely makes him- self miserable and cross, but still he keeps him- self in sight, but if he consults bis inclination and stays at home ho may come to the pass when he is forgotten. THE UNPRETENTIOUS HUSBAND. “Who was the strange man I saw coming out of your house as I passed by yesterday morn- ig?” said a man to s married wi in, whose house he was a tolcrably frequent visitor at. “I can't imagine. What did he look lik asked the lady. “Oh,” said the man, “he was short and fat and bada scrubby mustache, aud he looked itl-natured—in short, as ugly'a man as Lever ‘Ob, I know who it was,” she said, quite pleased. “Why, that's my husband.” The man had been to her house a number of times, had been entertained by her and thought heknew her, and yet he actually never bad ween ber husbund. However, husbands aro not the subject of this article, put invitetions, and although the latter are dificult to get they are the mors easily got of the two. ‘Now, there are men who goon calling on peo- ple year after year and yet get very few invita- tions, and there are other men who hardly do any calling at alland get so many invitations that they can't accept them all. Perbaps the unsuccessful man feels a little bitter about it. but why should he? Because he is not sought after in the way of society is nothing against him, He bas no right to point to his compan- ton who succeeds and say: “You sce that fel- low? He has no brains, be has no money, he i not amusing and he is ‘not. good looking Yet he is invited everywhere without any effort of his own, and I, who have brains, money and ood looks.try to get invited and don'tsueceed.”” it perhaps the standards that are followed by the people who do the inviting are uot stand- ards of good looks or brains or even money. They know what they want, and one man sup- plies their wants and another does not—that is all there is in it. But why is it that they want the one man and de not want the othe:? THE PARLOR AND BALL Room. ‘The truth of the matter is that the parlorand ball room are a republic and that when a man crosses their threshold he enters a world that does not for what he is in the other waike tleman had gone out for luncheon before the mistake was discovered and the boys in that office maintain that he is lunching yet, as be never came back.” is bhe & Fe : E i Be fs Fai TYEnFe : i i q i ms of like. Whe man who can combine enccoms in invitations with success in the more serious avocations of life is a happy mortal, more vorsa- tile than most men. Of course exceptions must be noted. Aman may be sought after by in- vitations because of . g am rill i yj | Hi . 3 1 [ § i. 1 Hi if | me kil eek i i i i f i who is essentially a 80- | “Why,” he anewered, | “Bat how do you get! , if whe knows him well and likes | business to insist that ® man « before it will extend hum » j WHAT AMMAN MORT ne, ‘Then what on carth ts the mewtery which gete #8 man invitations? It is not goodness. it fs not brains or success, or «ren money, Money a must be remarked, parenthetioally, has deal te do with it, and epee bur it is not everrthing man, eapecially where make a main one in « million simple enough @ tan to be mu | bea swell, nothing more sor | not know how to bea swell | Mall chance 0° making | ceptable to the | a eapital 8 snd own \ | | the biggest swells in the country who are de- | ctdediy carciewly dremend t tok | well drvemnd | Man to havea vale here for ther thing that | and cart to bea Oh, no. More swells gon foot than drive, although a#well whe het horses has an advantage over swells who have not, The subject ov to be « ewell too vast for the present In SOME GIRLS OF THE Prenton. | They Are AN Ame From the New York rts,” angely remark. composition ou the | thousand kinds.” After a few brief bat | remarks regarding the ap. who 1 aader Bis personal observation, Le daufally concluded as follows: “This w all € | know ab . and father mars the } | know about ‘om the better wasright.at least im he girls whove era wil compass | the nineteenth century { several thoumnd Kinds.” “The rosebud garden of girie” can no longer do dutvasan all-embracing floral mile, jfor the genus prodaccs @ grost variety of | species, frou the simple theid daisy to the rarest id of the human botansal gurdea, The phrase “gi | eternssi | Pu ning statement The he inst decade of « the per maiden, with hair tucked ader a high linen cap, who looked well te the { her houseboid aud whose apreulative f with the nature of God of His wrath and Hie Twenty veurs ago the phrase signified © dameel with an cnormous chignon on her | bead, an abnormal bampon her back ande {gait which high heel# and willful antention rea dered hideoas, prement year of grace the head of the voung woman i» weighted only with its netural “crowning glory,” and her back is as datas the tradisonal pancake, bat her sleeves bave developed into the balloons af the first empire and her boots into the acute triangles of our school days’ problems, Nor isit to be denied that slve has her mental tance, a decided rard psychical research and cecu!t phenome away which nothing would induce her to gen eralize under the vulgar name of sparstamliem, She belongs thie soorty. “inte Unveiled” aud “Esoteric Buddhism” adorn ber bgok shelves, and she regards the desth of Mine. Blavatsky as an irreparable los to the | world. Batebe ts not m nied. She adores Col. Ingersoll aud Bishop Potter alike, and calls them “seve and men,” by Pugilistio phrase abe money ameane nature proverbially abhors, Of course she be- lieves in the “mind cure.” Whatever germ of truth this till popular fad containe has ex- panded and put forth shoots in the congenial soil of her fertile brain till it has beeames fall-blown exotic. In her enthustastic eouvie- with the “Autocrat of the that “if all the mod: in the world were thrown into the sna it would be 80 much the better for men *o mach the worse for the fishes.” Indowd. she i* of the severe opini Fold school jractitioners ear their daily bread by putting their victims for: ever beyond the need of similar She «peaks slightingly of her body Pression of mortal mind,” and «ho accepts the Most revolutionary theories of mind and matter with a trastfulness truly heguiling Of the period. too, is the literary girl This young woman im these days of hosiery is no longer # bine though she may cherish aspirations een | Harper's or the Centurr. it was a western damsel who met Mr. William Desn How. and being pleased by bis personality him to write something in ber autograph al- bam, and upon reading what he had iuscribed exclaimed: “Why, Mr. Mowells, I should think you would try to write something for publication. I have soon far worse things than chat in print!” There are far worse things in print than are evolved from the brains af our girl writers, who, though rarely phenom- enal, like the brillicnt Amelie Rives, yet seldom attempt to wield the pen without having something tossy and the capacity te say it—differing therein from the eschoolgir whose teacher finally disminwed her because she had no capacity aud whose indipnand father vent her back with the message unt be could afford to buy her one! As for the pin- nacle of fame the plenty-of-room-at-the-top theory isa fallacy! Ayptnnacle is in ite very nature a remote, dwindling height, and who gains it must «truggie for his pre-eminent foot- hold and ruthlessly displace lesa stalwart climb- ers. Itis down on the basis of mediocrity that there plenty of room, and if itis bere that, with few exceptions, our girl writers stand, it is none the less probable that with several strings to their bow a more dosrable equ ment in literary then in sentimental archery — they wall with a Little practice aim ateaight, twang with» will and bit the mark of pubud ‘wpproval. nm thereis the charitable girl, who, if #be doesn't Join a co'lng. settlement. ‘prates sboat the “amelioration of the mason,” visite ber poor famihes and attends committer meetings, She lives in @ fashionable neighborhood and often bas acarriage and coachman at ber dix posal, but she considerately leaves these at = distance from the scene of her mi for which abe conscientioual dons patna garb. She dangles her bracelet for the ineviter dle baby, while abe beniows advice upon baby’ mamma. Sho is not the girl who asked why if the poor could not obtain bread they did eat cake, thoagh she knows little more of necessities of the so-called lower classos, her heart is in the rigbt place and it ts not fault that fate bas spared ber this u: to knowledge. By no means least, tn the opinion of her ed} mirers, is the society girl p hasn't any fad, except to and make herself charming & 3885 Fa observes Lent scrupuiousiy. murely forth, carrying = dainty pra to vespers, where with i aa F she murmurs her “Good Lord deli and if into the midst of her responses o'-the-wisp vision of the Easter be is to crown her sunmy locks fi HH eee g i é f i | ! f i; — i # Hs : : : ie a ui ie £ i i i if f F i Hf i i Hi le it! £ i i |