Evening Star Newspaper, October 4, 1890, Page 8

FUNNY CENSUS FACTS. Curious Things Gathered From All Parts of the Country. SURPRISING ABSURDITIES. Experiences of Special Agents and Enue werators—Queer Vital Statistics, Re- marks on Debt, Mortgages and Taxa- tion—Teo Many Girls to Manage. —_a— LL SORTS of absurdities | are gathered in by the | census, juperintendent | Robert P. Porter, inci- | dentally to his contract, | will have collected, before his duty is completed, ‘mass of fun that would compose in itself « whole brary as « humorous appendix to his volumi- nous reports. An mquiring Star re- ae porter found that the lement of the Indicrous enters largely into Bome of the schedules sent in by enumerators filled out ins manner quite remarkable. to the returns, one individual, resi- ‘ron, Ohio, was an infant six months Id, by trade a carpenter, and died last May of id age. A woman, living in Louisville, Ky., was ety-four years of age, a hod carrier by occu- — and died from illness consequent u| thing. Still another person was reported as having died from child rn ome oneal Supervening, after pursuing the occupation o: Beer Griver until the croup carried off at —— of six, The diseases to which le had succumbed, according to the re- were quite remarkable. One unfor- te had lost her life from “chronic invite- fWon"— meaning inflammation, presumably— it the favorite complaint seemed to be ic,” whatever that may have signified. ‘his one or that one died of “chronic” and ing else. SOME FUNNY LETTERS. Among the funniest things are the letters Which have been received by Mr. Porter, re- Questing employment from the Census Bureau. 6 arrived only the other day from Oroville, ., saying: “Can you inform me how I can get on to enforce the Lobster Law? I haf been on the police force here five years and last week we was discharge by arum Bord we was yas fi a temperans Bor now the rum Bora i this year.” “If you hear anything obverse to my eharacter from this vicinity you need not be- lieve that it is so; as [am not an idiot or Ge those other mean names I have been called, ean read and write and have good health, I do not mean to have my name or character in- — as I am agent for various articles. ase Write and tell me if the census taker or any one else in this neighborhood bas made any nasty remarks about me. P. 8.—Do not send this back, but keep it to refer to.” One southern clergyman of the African geasion asks for pay and signs himself, “Your friend BR. Wright, hope we may meet in jlory where we part no more, S.C., thinks he can doa gob of taker as well asthe actual ap- was drunk July4and the 5 and long republican of the Afro- American type” offers his services from Jackson Springs, N.C., but tne man who distinguishes himself above all others in conciseness is Mr) Michael McGrath of Calais, Ohio, who writes: “Mir. Robert P. Porter, Dear We are friends. This is all l can write to you. Re- spectfully, Michael McGrath.” INTERVIEWING OY*TERMEY. ‘The special ageats who have in charge the investigation of the oys- ter industry find their task especially arduous, In order to discover how Many oysters are cap- fared in this couutry in ® year the consus is obliged to ascertain ex- actly how many of these interesting bivalves are taken per aunum by each person engaged in the business. To accom- ib this is not so easy ‘or example, take the fase of an agent who tackled a sample negro Oysterman about 90 miles §outh of here on the Po- tomac. id he: “How many oysters do you catch in a year?” “Dunno, boss. Poona you know how many bushels?” pointee, whi 6 too.” A were they worth?” ‘hatever Icould get for them, boss.” “Come, now, what did you get for them? Bive me some idea.” lain’t got no ideas, boss,” “Well, what was paid you for them?” ough to pay all my debts, boss,” “How much did you wwe?” “Owed everybody, boss. That was all the axent was able to elicit from this subject, who was fair specimen of oys- terman. To get the facts as to his case, it was pecessary to go around to every one whom he had dealt with during the year and make an estimate accordingly. The fisheries division of the Census came scross all sorts of funny things. Amdng other hinge, 1t desired to know the value of the carp which have been introduced into this country and the profit represented by them. One man to whom a schedule was submitted wrote back that the carp in his pond had been worth 91,000 to him in the past six months. His wife had been sick and he had fed her during that period exclusively upon carp, to which diet he attributed her recover, he was worth to him, he said, at least 21,000; therefore, he timated bis gain on the investment at that 4 FISH STORY. Some of the fish schedules ran astray in the Mails and a response from arid west Kansas was received saying: “We have no fish here, as we have not yet succeeded in finding a variety that could live on prairie grasa.” Another man replied that he owned no carp, but that, having heard that there were ever so many pretty young women in the Census Office at Washington, he would be glad if Superin- tendent Porter would place him in correspond- @uce with three or four of them. ‘The taking of the census in some parts of the ountry was attended with extraordinary di! ities, graphical hindrances rendered it t hard in eastern Oregon, southern Utah, southern ada and Florida, In eastern Ore- m ther: such lack of mail facilities that yy enumerators were more than 200 miles from any rail so that the schedules had to be transported by stage and horseback. The puiation of southern U' and southern jevada is exceedingly sparse, so as to make enumeration correspondingly expensive and @iificult. Florida is mostly swamp, ite people Over by far the ageater part of ite territor Widely scattered, and transportation being a gost out of the question. Perhaps the most dra- matic incident of the census occurredin thegreat Nevada desert. One enumerator was only able to get bis blank schedules from the supervisor by having them conveyed to him across the desert, adistance of 110 miles, by an Indian. ‘The copper-colored messenger took with him only a of water. He did not arrive when he was expected and the enumerator, atthe delay, set out to look forbim. Starting cross the dreadful waste from the opposite side, be found, after a day’s journey along the trail the corpse of the Indian half buried in the sand. The unfortunate messenger had Gied of thirst. & CICLONE INTERFERES. All sorts of difficulties were encountered by @bumerators, some of them of avery surprising Bature. Fo# instance, the house of one such sppointee in Dakote was Dlown sky-high by a cy- Plone and the les, duiy filled out, into five different though the enume- Bators were obliged togo about in boats, No questions asked by the census agents elic- ted such funny answersas did the re- Mortgaged property for pose @ther pledged his of whisky. B Pager es sa estat pay supscription for a preacher. In Maryland was found s man who Lad borrowed the emount y s 7 E i ut 8 erwise. ule with Another $d “Life is too shert.” A third remarks, “My wife taxed me for twins last month.” chief man in authority in this place,” says a fourth, “is a woman and her official designa- tion Ann Jane Smith.” A fifth replies from a small town in Nebraska: “Most of the people out here live with their wives and pay taxes when the sheriff compels them.” Very many of the schedules, particularly where mortgages and debts are concerned, are filled in with unploasant epithets’ addressed to the census authorities, and with records of unfortunate experiences recorded by enumerators. = ‘“Lhi reson kicked me out of bis house,” ® comment not so very infrequent on a schedule sent in by this or that enumerator. “A dog was set on Bitten badly. bill , i to a “man more brute than human chases cows and other animals kept in acage.” This refers toa maniac who has to be caged to prevent him from pursuing the chase like « wild beast. In many instances people re- fused to give their names. ‘Two women in one house- hold in the Tennessee mountains signed them- QuzsTions. selves ‘‘Hay-it-all” and “Get-it-all” On one debt and tax schedule is indorsed by an official who returns it, simply, “Rats, rats, rate!” THEY WANT Moy! There seems to be felt all over the country a widespread objection to doing any census work gratis. Says one correspondent from Nebraska: “We don’t live on wind pudding out here. Sendme #5.” Another, from Colorado, writes: “The mayor is too lazy to do this, the treasurer don’t know how and I don't care to. Yours, John Smith, editor.” Democrat e particularly opposed to doing anything in this way forarepublicancensus, “Weha 0 8u: plus, "gays a correspondent from Iowa, *‘In fact’ we are minus, A baldheaded gent from the east came out here, attained treasurership of our town andstole away our c: $2.96. Please remit.” A woman in Mississippi says: “Owing to the death of my husband Iam filling the Place of assessor at present. I don’t think we ave any valuation or taxation, because there is only five people in the town, and they have nothing of value. [hope this will be enough to complete your census.” The special agents who had to collect data re- garding the fisheries were exposed to some embarrassing rebuffs. For example, the young gentleman delegated to interview the fishermen of Michigan on the St. Clair river had occasion to tackle, as a sample specimen, Mr. Billy Mc- Niff of Marine Cit; “Good morning,” said the agent. up, Mr. McNiff, t t the fishery census.” “The hell you have!” responded Mr. McNiff. This was a good example of the reception accorded the agents of the fishery division. EXERCISING DIPLOMACY. In this case the agent was obliged to play “craps” with Mr. MoNiff and get him drunk in order to obtain the information he desired, The same agent made his way into another fisherman's house and asked incidentally how much his boat was worth. He replied, “Twenty- five dollars,” but his wife si ‘Oh, Jim, its worth @50 sure, if worth acent.” Upon which the husband flung a bootjack at his wif head and inquired mildiy, ¥ The special agents for the census were obliged to cultivate the utmost arts of diplo- macy. A favorite scheme employed by one of the shrowder ones was to pretend that he d ed @ relationship between himself and the person from whom he desired to obtain in- formation. If the individual addressed was a Chinaman it did not make any difference; the connection in that case was on the mother’s ANSWERING CEXSUS ‘T'vecome Itwas not an infrequent ocourrence for one in a crowd in @ bar room, which the agent had joined for purely business, purposes, to say: “Let's hi @ drink on Uncie Sam!” hich meant an expense to the agent not pro- ied for by congressional appropriations. In the mountains of Tennessee aud Kentucky, the region of moonshine whisky, some of’ the agents came near being shot by.persons who imagined that they were gov- ernment detectives. One man was followed for four days by aman with 9 rifle, who kept him always in sight, ready to pop him off in case anything suspicious should arrive. One thing noticeable as to mor- tality th the south was that so very many people ported, of “guitar. saads of the inhabitants of the southern states, according to the schedules, have perishedWA!TING For THE from thiscomplaint during the C#8U8 MAN. last year, Two thousand young women, most of them pretty, are engaged in making up the eleventh census of the Uuited States. The task of con- trolling them is no sinecure. One division chief, who has 700 of the giddy creatures under his control, spoke sadly yesterday of the labor itinvolved. Said he: GIRLS HARD TO MANAGE. “I once knewa man who had twenty girls un- der his control. He would introduce any one of his friends to fifteen of them, saying that he reserved the other five for himself. Of course be meant by that that ths oppor- tunity of flirting with those five was too valuable to be voluntarily shared. Now, I have 700 girls under my ccutrol, and any-t body is welcome to them ali, I say without reserve that # man who can manage that number of young women satisfactorily can do anything. The great diffi- culty is to curtail their chatter. Conversation among the male employes it is possible to restrict, but with the women it is al- most out of the question. And yet, in the long run, they make better clerks than the men, inasm: as they are more docile and teachable. My cast-iron rule i t flirting. When I find a young woman addicted to that over-much, I transfer her to a be- tween two old ladies, and she usually becomes a serviceable aid. What's the Use? What's the use o’ waitin’ till a feller's dead ‘nd gone before his better qualities you men- Won? Of lettin’ him go all through life withouta cheerin’ word, 'nd showin’ bis remains remarked at- tention? Of passin’ by a dozen men, hard-wor: in’, sober, ‘nd like as not discouraged balf tu Tu helps drunken loafer constitutionally tired, extremely weak in principle ‘nd mighty @ practicin’ economy at hum, 'nd Up the drinks down town with ali the 's bill and fillin’ up the tonic dealer in ampber- What's the use o’ thinkin’ that folks won't size y’ ler what y’ really are, no matter what y’ up f claim? Or that you've got a cunnin’ trick that other fellor sharper bain't, and so ere good deal in life's game? "s Uh ‘in’ that the world owes y'a livin’, and ' down 'nd waitin’ for yer 80 0" 8a; ’ Providence "ll rain down bread an’ butter, ‘nd all you'll have tu do'll be tu grad ‘nd eat away? Z use o’ tatkin’ aman ACROSS LAKE TITICACA Afloat on the Highest Navigable Water on the Globe. THE DRY TORTUGAS OF PERU. A Lake of Unknown Depth, With Many Tributaries it No Visible Outlet— Dangers of Navigation—The Steam- ore, _ ‘From Tux Stan's Traveling Commissioner. Puro, Peru, September L FLOAT ON Lake Titicaca! How the very name recalls school days and geography lessons. However pleased the traveler may be to find himself sailing the highest navigable water on the globe he must pay the price of many dis- comforts for his rare experience. Not only is there sirroche to contend with, which makes nervous person feel asif grim death were clutching his heart-stringe with icy®fingers and piling a thousand pounds weight upon his chest, while all the blood in the body seems to fill the head to bursting, crimsoning the face and leaving the lower extremities cold as ice, but the most weather-beaten voyager is bound to suffer all the pangs of seasickness, though he may have circumnavigated the globe without a qualm of it Consulting a map of South America yca will find Titicaca about midway down the continent, but only 325 miles inland from the Pacific. It fies at an altitude of 12.250 feet above the level of the sea, in an enormous basin, whose east- ern border is bounded by the loftiest cordillera of the Andes, an unbroken, untrodden, snow- several of whose pexks rival height and sublimity. In shape the lake is an irregular oval, extending almost due north and south, 120 miles long, its greatest width being about 57 miles, It has anaverage depth of 1,000 feet, but in many places line and plummet have failed to find the bottom. Though many rivers, fed by mountain snows, flow into it there is no visible outlet except the Desaguadero river, a broad, deep, swift, but not turbulent stream, 170 miles long, which itself has many tributaries and a fall of 500 feetand discharges into Lake ‘Aullagas, away tothe southward. Of the latter lake very little is known except that it has no outlet to the sea unless it be subterranean, though receiving the sinage of the great upper basin and having several other powerful feeders besides the Desaguadero, During rainy seasona and dry its water always remains at precisely the same depth, though no fewer than nine considerable streams flow into it. THE LAKE AND SURROUNDING COUNTRY. Lake Titicaca never freezes over, whatever the weather, though even in summer time ice frequently forms near the shore, where the bays are shallow. This mysterious body of water exercises a very marked snd important influence on the climate of this cold region, being always from ten to twelve degroes Fahrenheit warmer than the mosphere. Its islands and penii influence most perceptibly and corn ley ripen upon them, though on the mainland hereabouts they never reach maturity, The great basin which contains Titicaca has been estimated to be 600 miles loug and 200 miles wide, with a total area of perhaps 100,000 miles, or three times that of the state of New York. The slope of the basin is gently toward the south, Lake Titicaca occupyigg its northern extremity and Lake Aullagas the southern, connected by the Desaguadero, Prof. Squicr, who studied the locality long and caretully, says: “The American hemisphere affords but three really notable examples of the interest- ing physical phenomenon to which the basin of Titicaca belongs. The first is the great Utah basin with its salt lake; the second is the smaller basin of Lake Itza, in Central Ameri and the third is the vaster, more elevated in all respects more interesting basin of Lake Titicaca, The latter possesses a fluvial system of its own; having no outlet to the sea.” WINDS AND STEAMERS. ‘The prevailing winds are from the northeast. Blowing continually, they often come with prodigious force, rendering navigation ex- tremely hazardous by the frail balsas of the natives and very disagreeable if not dangerous by the steamers, Before the comparatively re- cent introduction of the latter these balsas, or rafts and canoes made of rushes woven to- gether, were thé only boats on the lake. Very pretty and picturesque are the curious little craft when seen at a distance, but they are not inviting as a moans of transit over ice-cold waters of measureless depth, especially in a storm. Each balsa is furnished with a square sail, also made of woven reeds, which can be furled, raised or lowered at the will of the boatman. The steamers, which by tight squeezing will accommodate twenty-four pas- sengers each, are of 100 tons burden. Bein, never heavily loaded, they roll and tremble an! toss about on the stormy waves in a way calcu- lated to appall the stoutest heart and upset the strongest stomach, while winds how! lost spirits or as if the angry gods of ' Island, whose temples the Sines koe ae stroyed, were in revengeful pursuit, Going straight across from Chililaya to Puno the trip is only 110 miles and is usualiy made in twelve or fourteen hours, but one can get quite enough of it in that length of time, I assure you. The little steamers that required ten years in the building were brought piecemeal over the mountains on the backs of mules, before the day of the railroad, much as Cortez carried his historic ships from Vera Cruz to the lakes of Tenochtitlan. ‘heir state rooms are the smailest that can possibly be made to accom- modate human beings, and along the walis of the salon, which serves both for dining and joking room, are cushioned benches which ‘let out” atnight into two tiers of tolerably comfortable berths, ‘Titicaca has several considerable bays ex- tending inland, notably those of Puno, Achacache und Huancane. Puno bay is so shallow that the steaniers could not come near the shore until acanal three miles long had been excavated. This work was accomplished when Mr. John Thorndyke, a well-known American, connected the inke with the sea by means of a railroad across Peru, Mr. Santiago (James) Beaumont, a gentleman from Pater- son, N. who is still connected with this rai way and Titicaca navigation, not only made tl canal, but ordered the steamers and put them together when the pieces arrived, REEDS FOR BUILDING, Though the Bolivian shore of Titicaca is rough end abrupt, the mountains on that side pressing boldly down into the water, the west low and compara- tively level, the swampy edges overgrown with species of tall, strong reeds called tortera, ‘These reeds serve the natives for as many pur- poses as bamboo does the Chinaman. ‘they are used instead of lath for lining the walls of houses, for thatching roofs, bottoming chairs, fiilmg beds, making baskets, boats and bridges. They are also an important item in the way of fuel, though they burn too rapidly to give off much heat, Cattle feed upon them and atany time of the year cows and oxen may be seen nearly up to their backs in the marshes, For several years the Chililaya bridge across the deep and rapid Deeaguadero was made enti of reeds supported by balsas below, until the fine new beta was builta few yearsago, As that river is the dividing line between Peruand Bolivia, a custom house is located at each end of the bridge. If there were ip | hunters bere- bouts they would jfiud plenty of sport in these reedy marshes, where myriads of water fowl find shelter, among them black and scarlet ducks, snipe, herons, &c. These, together with a ety of fishes, contribute largely toward the support of the population in a region so cold that the corn crop is precarious, wheat will not ripen at all, and potatoes, shrunk to thei: lest size, are bitter as so many green and where the only indigenous animals fit for food are the biscatcha (rabbit), the llama end the vicuna, the latter becoming yearly more scarce, havii existence for its valuable fur. HABITABLE ISLANDS, There are eight habitable islands in Lake Titicaca, viz: Titicaca, Coati, Soto, Amantene, Taqueli, Aputo, Campanario and Toquare. The largest of them is Titicaca, six miles long by religion tu Jad & deacon sock {t to him in @ trade? that a minister cau preach as well he is livin’ on faith dumplin’s 'nd mis- who’ Or thinkin’ wher or crook, euter heaven, When alt trough life the most of us have traveled Fother way—Iruther guess ‘bout siz days —Wmuam Epwanp Paxxsy. Ifyou want to see how this palpitating with information correct statement in a newspaper.—. country is just make an in- “Bostow about four miles wide, high, bare and rugj jaovtiion. This. te'Geo’ eeehtaea, eed been hunted nearly out of ut more uently it happened that strongest ain ie buy fuel ey all, but drove I, those who needed it most from the little sisting @ prisoner from the ii at it was never attempted, and to swim any distance in icy waters was impossi On the mainland nearest to this Tortugas is an Aymara viliage, which a few years ago num- bered nearly a thousand Indians, A philan- thropic English physician, filled with a desire to elevate the condition of the Aymaras, went with his wife and family to live in this settle- ment, The latter, however, resented the in- trusion and one Er caused the whole family tobe murdered in their beds. The atrocity was not discovered for some weeks—not until distant friends, failing to hear from the good doctor, came over to see how he was getting on. Asthe most ane ‘t search failed to discover the identity of the murderers the government sent out a body of troops, who massacred more than half the people of the village, to teach them better manners in the line of hospitality and as warning to other Indian settlements. A PROTESTANT ISLAND GRAVEYARD. ‘The saddest of all the islands in Lake Titi- cava is one very near to Puno, called San Este- van (Saint Stephen), which has become Protestant graveyard. Many years ago, from some unknown reason, Spaniard who fell during the war for independence was bt here, A queer old monument marks the spot, built up of small, rough stones, in ofa short, fat Cleopatra's needle. Close side this isthe grave of Capt, Pemberton, an Ei glish skipper who commanded the first boat on the lake, and who, being a heretic, could not be buried in consecrated ground. It is said that even this barren rock was begrudged him fe burial place, the pious natives of thi ge threatening to dig up and scatter his b abroad, which they doubtless would have done had he lainin # more accessible place, The latest addition to this desolate cemeter: was made when Prof. Orton died. The well- known author and scientist, from Poughkeep- sie, N.Y., died of consumption, bronght on by overwork and the inhospitable climate of this far-away land, and when he knew that the end was near requested that his remains be laid on the top of San Estevan. We made a pilgrim- age to the spot in honor of his memory, going out from Puno in a canoe against the protests of the villagers, who assured us that we could not possibly land anywhere on the island, it being completely surrounded by an impassable marsh, Paddling all around it we found a place where the swampy soil was somewhat firm, and using @ thick growth of reeds for improvised bridges, by dint of considerable leaping and the trifling inconvenience of going over-shoe in the ooze we succeeded in passing the barrier. ‘The island is nothing but a high, rocky hill, rising so precipitously out of the water that hardly @ goat could scale it, except on the fur- ther side, where the ascent is not very difficult, though winding and pathless, and one is often compelled to stop and recover breath in the thin air. . To this day poor Orton's resting place is un- inarked. Not long ago a friend and fellow-pro- fessor from Rochester, N.Y., came here and in- quired the cost of putting up a plain slab, or at least a cairn of cemented stones, like those which mark the graves of Capt. Pemberto and the Spanish soldier. He was told that the lowest cost would be $300, not including the tablet, which must be sent, engraved, from the United States, The latter might never reach bere; if it did, would probably never be placed ‘Glass Gomebody mado the lon journey to see 1tdone—all of which would bring the actual cost up toa very large sum. The memory of Prof. Orton does not need to be kept alive by such means. He lives in the hearts of his coun- trymen, and amore enduring monument was wrought by himself in the books and scientific researches which he has given to future gen- erations. ON THE DESERTED ISLE. Standing on the lonely island, with the graves at our feet, and the mysterious lake spreading all around ite waters of unknown depth—the only link that connected us with the livin, world being the frail balsa of reeds propelled by an Indian—the words of another, who, like Orton, spent the best part of his -tife in“ this strange country, came with new force to my mind, as perfectly describing the scene and its effect upon the beholder: “Viewed from the crest of the cordillera, we have spread out be- fore us a region unlike any other on the face of the earth—one which seems to be lifted above the rest of the world, in epirit as well as in fact, to be looking down on it coldly and calmly as the winter stars, sharing none of. its sympathies and disturbed by none of its alarms. The silent, wondering vicuna, gazing at us with liquid eyes, the gliding llama, and the condor, circling high in the air or swooping down to- ward us as if in menace; the absence of forests, the white clouds surging up from the plains of Brazil, only to be precipitated and dissi- pated by the snowy barriers they cannot pass; the clear, metallic blue of the sky; the painful silenci ll impress the traveler with a feeling that he is no longer in tae same world he has known before. There is nothing with which he is familiar, nothing suggestive of other scenes, It was on an island of Lake ‘Titicaca that, as tradition affirms, the found of the Inca empire bad their supernatui origin, Scattered all over its great basin are ruins of ancient architecture, singular in char- acter, and hi ig an antiquity greater than any other of advanced civilization om this hemisphere. Not an unfitting region, this, for the development of an original civilization like that which carved its monuments in massive stone and left them ou the plains of Tiahuanaco, of which no tradition remains except that they were the work of the giants of old, who built them in a single night.” Faxsiz B, Warn, pacnassstds tart iieumenscheathn Wood Like Iron, From the Kew Bulletin. The jarrah wood is 4 species of eucalyptus native to western Australia. The main diffi- culties in connection with its use in this coun- try are the cost of freight for such heavy timber from Australia and its intense hardness, which makes it difficult to ordinary English car- penters’ tools to work it. The tree which pro- duces it grows generally to a height of 100 feet, and sumetimes 150 feet. It is found only in western Australia, extending over the greater portion of the country from the Moore river to King George's Sound, forming mainly. the forests of these tracts. According to Baron Mueller, when selected from hiily localities, cut while the sap is least active aud subse quently carefully dried, it wove impervious to the boring of insects. Vessels constructed solely of it have, after twenty-five years’ con- stant service, remained perfectly sound, al- tho@h not coppered. It has been tried three places in the Suez canal, and after hi ing been down sever years tl were taken up in order that a report on their condition might be sent to Paris. From cer. tain correspondence between Kew and so! London vestries it appears that jarrah ha lately been used by the Chelsea Vestry for aving the King’s road, and by the Lambeth estry in the Westminster Bridge road. A Centenarian. From London Punch, “This ts the centenary of the tall bat.” Ricadced years of Witeoemmean 088, Constricted brows and strain and streeat nd si lexpite hum: "e groan, ‘The torturi: “tall het” elas its.ownt hatter who invented The demon “topper,” and demented Has borne oP On PAST AND PRESENT. How Present Congressmen Oompare With Their Predecessors, —.——_—_ GAMBLING SENATORS OF OLD. Uneeemly Behavior in the Halls of Con- greve—Rows and Scrimmages of the Past—Some Memorable Instances— Faro, Poker and Dueling. —-—_——_ Written for Tax Evaxree Stam. HIS Fifty-first Congress has a reputation of be- ing ® pretty tough speo- imen, At least two of its members have ex- changed blown, Two others have made a des perate attempt to “get at” each other. A Rep- resentative has de- nounced a Senator. There has at times been ® regular blizzard of frozen rhetosic, and some of the epithets have struck the Speaker with « resounding whack, “On the whole,” said Senator in my pres ence one evening last week, “the House is composed of the hardest lot of fellows I havo ever seen together. Such an assault as Kennedy's was never made be- fore in the history of our government. ‘The remark set me to thinking, and I re- solved to find out how does this Congress com- ‘e with past Congresses in drinking, swear- ing, fighting, gambling and other manifesta- tions of brutality? And then I hunted up the record, FIGHTING ON THE FLOOR. I find that there has been considerably more than one personal encounter on the floor dur- ing every Congress on an average, In 1798 the first occurred, and greatly dis- gusted W: Lyon of Vermont, which ended in Lyon abused the Connecticut their position on a certain bill, and said: “I lave a mind to come back there and teach you good manners.” “If you come, Lyon,” cried Griswold, “don't forget to bring your wooden sword!” alludi to the fact that the Vermonter was drummed out of the army during the revolution. Lyon, without a word, but in a frenzy of rage, crossed the room and deliberately spat in Gris- wold’s face. There was a motion to expel him, and during ite pendency the offender made a neg in self-defense which was so obscene at the newspapers of even that free-and-easy time could not indicate its papa The mo- tion to expel was defeated, whereupon Gris- wold ran over to Lyon's seat, jerked him out of it, threw him down and beat him on the floor of the House. Lyon escaped to the fire- place and defended himself with the tongs, but was beaten again. Friends of the rushed into the melee and the battle came to an end only after considerable damage had been done. After thut scene spitting in the fi became fashionable method of beginning a fracas be- tween members in Washinzton--like shaking hands at the commencement of a duel. Two or three cases of this character were reported under Jefferson's administration and several im succeeding yea:s, . At last our President suf- fered the indigni' When Jackson came to Washington he brought with him a quarrelsome reputation, He had wounded two men in duels and killed one and had received two wounds in street fracases, one of which from the hand of Thomas H. Benton he bore consciously all his life. It wassaid that ‘Old Hickory” had been in a dozen duels and a hundred personal fights when he entered the White Hou: Duels between Congressmen were common, but they were not often deadly, Men be- lieved that if they were called “1; or “cow- ards” only blood—a greater or smaller quan- tity, a8 the case might be—would wipe out the stain of the dishouor. And it seemed to make no difference whether it was contributed from the arteries of the offender or the person whom he had injured. Anybody'’s blood would do, ‘This spirit has well nigh passed away. Ido not believe there will ever be another duel by or between Congressmen. Even gentlemen trom the gulf states regard it as a preposterous and imbecile method of settling disputes. In reply tomy question Congressman Breckin- ridge of Arkansas said, **] shall never fight if it voidable, If attacked I suppose 1 should try to get away or defend myseif best I could, but I had a good deal rather be thrashed than draw a revolver on @ man,and I had rather be kicked down Pennsylvania avenue than to shoot a man.” I introduced this topic in Gen. Banks’ pres- ence the other day. “Ab!” sighed the vener- able man, “this Congress lacks the self- and the self-respecting dignity of the €on- gresses from 1855 to 1860.” ‘The old gentl man’s kindly memory leads him, Was it not in those two Congresses that Grow knocked Keith down under the reporters’ table; that Washburne scalped Barksdale; that Wilson de- fied Butler; that Burlingame and Brooks arranged to kill each other with rifles, and that Potter and Pryor selected a locked-up room for their duel with bowie knives? CONGRESSIONAL DRINKERS. Never since Washington saluted the first Con- gress have there been so many total abstainers and so few drunkards in that body as there are now. For the first time it is highly respectab! and rather fashionable to say ‘I do not drin! Probably a majority of both houses do take a drink occasionally—at least of bee: two or three members of the Sei dozen members of the House are conspicuous as hard drinkers, Half a century ago all the members drank, and half of them were occasionally drunk. Maeudlin scenes were common on the floor, Now they are very rare, though Senator Rid- dieberger got in some amusing demisemiquavers last year. Our grandfathers saw the time when drunk- enness was as common as sobricty is no when it was expected that gueste at a dinn would end by roil:ng upon the floor, and wl it was the duty of every bachelor who ga party to persist in his conviviality till ever man was helplessly drunk. There were suc! festive scenes here during our early Congresses when unanimous inebriety was the end at- tained, and when all toasts were drank standing on the table and yelling until standing and yell- ing longer became impossible. fienr A. Wise records a maudlin scone here at a public dinner in 1838, where a prominent Senator hiccuped a speech in favor of union forever,and a Kentucky member jumped on the table, yelled “Liberty or Death!” and franti- cally flung a champagne bottle at the head of the speaker, No such thing could happen now. Occasion- ally still a Senator or Representative loses his self-control in public, but he keeps out of sight as much as possible and the correspondents agree not ¢o say anything about it with the tacit understanding that the exhibition is not to be repeated. CONGRESSIONAL GAMBLERS. It fs in regard to gambling that there has been the greatest revolution among Congress- men within the memory of such veterans as Banks, Morrill, Buckalew and Edmunds, Forty years ago, and even less than that, there were gambli bl the Capitol w banks. In Octobe many Represent other's parlors, butthe old of their — aoe tones of them 49 cunningly that old Bob Schenck lighted with the exhibition of , but no they did # i t} F RS i ii i BF [ house In his superb dining room o'clock each day he set a complimentary dinner of twenty-four plates for the most dis- rarest food, the most precious wines, the most elegant service, Those invited came. ing” and so reputable that when ott, Prentiss, Paulding, —— Marshall, Schenck, Bayard, Wentworth, Wood and Yulee went into Pendleton's no passer-by thought of observing it—no newspaper thought of chronicling it any more if they had stepped into Willard’, Some of these men and their colleagues | you have ne it said, the heaviest gamester ever on in | 8nd to go through the clamsy formality of layed very high stakes—George Law be Washington. It is understood here that one of the and most methodical A players ever known here was Thad. Stevens. He was tired of it. He would go directly from his seat in the House to his seat at the green table and stay there till a late bed time. hagarded lar, ims, but ‘Up one small stake after ano’ feited bi Oh, Pendleton’s was an aristocratic bank. It was perhaps the only gambling house in the world where no gambler was admitted at any | time or under any pretense without an invita- tion. If the applicant were unknown to the usher as a guest of honor he must produce a card from Mr. Pendieton,and he could no more get in without it than he could enter a theater without a ticket. OTHER FARO BA¥ES. Other contemporary faro banks along “the were Prindle's, MoCullough's, Jake Dixon's and Burns | ck the lofty leton’s nor exhibited his exclu- siveness or his stunning hospitality. Mrs, Pen- dleton wase daughter of tist, anda very cultured and refined lady. Her husband's eccentric profession did not menace her high position in society, and cabinet ladies to her box at the opera while bi their husbands at the theater of chance. Shi was highly esteemed. and when she died the head of her pallbearers stood President James Buchanan. ‘This Fifty-first Congress is probably the so- berest the country has ever asst and it does not gamble enough to hurt And those who think that its public men are conspicuously violent shouid recall the time when Andrew Jackson horsewhipped Thomas H. Benton in the bail room, when Senator Bagley assaulted President Tyler and when Henry Clay and Gen. Scott had ea scrimmage in Boulanger's restau- Tant, so little to the credit of either party that ite details have never been in print. Crorrvr. pe ee ey THE INTRODUCTION. San Francisco argonaut. In making people formally known to one another great care should be exercised to pro- nounce names distinctly, thus avoiding a possi- bie cause of embarrassment. —Popular Work on Etiquette. Scene—Swell music room in the resideuce of Mrs. Victor-Godwin. It adjoins the parlors. where there bled ‘of people, comprising what Mrs. Victor-G.dwin looks upon @s the “literar, continvent of her set. The music room is large mouited argand lamp, with ‘On a Japanese settee ie a woman of per- yours, her arn thrown carelessly over the iy, aud her face, watle not without « esttain jomeut of deci Jooks, is, nevertheless, Stainped with the seal of an empbatic personality. To her there enters the hostess frou the paclors. Mrs. Victor-Godwin—Oh, here you are, Vir- ginin—and alone, upon my word. ‘The Other—Yes, alone. Acrime under the circumstances, I admit. Mrs. Victor-Godwin—Well, what do you find to do here—no pictures or books? The Other—1 was merely thinking. (She rises.) I beg pardon. Let me go back with on. Mrs. Victor-Godwin—No, stay where you are. I was looking for you to introduce a man that I ‘am sure you never met and I know you will ad- mire. The Other—Who is he? Mrs. Victor-Godwin—You must have heard of him often enough—-Mr. —— Sh! there he is, Step here to the door a minute. ‘ihe tall man, near tl indow, talking to Miss Willow. . The Other—With a black beard. I never met im. Mra. Victor Godwin—Doesn’t he look bored? Poor fellow! He does not go out very much and Icannot have him wasted this way. I will bring Lim. (Ske crosses the parlor and takes the man aside from Mise Willow. Mrs. Victor-Godwin—t1 want you to come and - introduced to # woman the* . know you will like. ‘The Man—You are very kind. (She takes bis arm and they move toward the music room.) Mrs. Victor-Godwin—I don't see what the world has been about all this time not to ha: brought you and her together. You have un- douptedly heard her spoken of—— The Man—Verv likely, but you have not told me who it is that you mean. Mrs. Victor-Godwin (as they come to the doorway of the music room)—Ahb, are you bere still, Virginia? Let me introduce to you—Miss -m, Mr. M-m-n-n. ood evening, Mr. Um-um-mm. ood evening, Miss Er-er-rr. jodwin—It gives me a great deal of pleasure to have made you people known to one another. But I must go back, (Exit to the parlor.) He (aside)—Known to one another, indeed! She (aside)—I wish she had given me the faintest idea of his name. (She resumes her place on the settee, and he, pushing up a large wicker easy chair, sinks back into it, with rather an awkward atti- tude, He—It isa very pleasant—ah—evening, don't you think? (Aside: I bate to talk toa person that I can’t address by name.) She—Do you mean without or indoors here? ‘Aside: Perhaps I had better ask him point lank what it 18, although—— ) He—Oh, I meant within, of course. You can hear the wind grinding against tne fog out of doors, You have been enjoying the evening i? je—Oh, very * * * That is—I suppose it is in bad sly to tell the truth about an e nun! quainted. He—Then I understand you mean thats mere introduction, such as ours has been— that this alone does not justify us ‘ing the truth to one another? e—As a rule, certainly not, but just as an exception now—you see, I am like the rest s i 4 i i [ ; i ry H ! ait i i Hy] l i i | i | | jj i Fy i I It was | kept at it and put | Writi er—never sur-| Hi whether the tide was with him or against | S¥rious to know | abour ille, the architect | husband was entertaining | He—Indeed. (After @ pause.) Did you— ge © to notice who wrote it? She—Oh, yes. I know the author, Mr. Meri- wether. site well personal I never met im, though I understand he lives bere, and I ow a number of people who are his friends. Did you ever meet him. He—N-no, I never did; but. like yourself, I am well eR cscad with some of his most inti- mate frien She (coldly) you feel very kindly toward him, then? le—I don't why I should. Meriwether has several times done things that caused me to regard him in the light of a personal enem: She—Oh, is it so? Then we ought to be goot friends (with sudden vehemence). I hate that man He—Really; you surprise me. She—It is in shocking bad taste, is it not, for woman to hate anybody—and still worse for her to acknowledge it? He—If you keep on saving things that make me out to be a prig, we shall certainly quarrel atthe very start. Come; I will teil you that I admire most of all the women who have minds of their own and who speak them freely. She—But you exhibited such astonishment He—That von should confess to hating a mas T met, She—Is it necessary actually to see a mi introduction to know him? I km 1 = ut Mr, Meriwether to feel that I im. now, know 1 stopose you refer to what told She—That—and what” Exactly. his friends ba I have seen of bis ‘Now, don't yon know, Iam just little i at sort of @ man yon take this Meriwotber to be—that is, I would like to see how your impression of him compares with She—Well, I think he is selfish, hard hearted and inconsiderate of the feelings of others. Ie not that your idea of him? He—I ‘hardly know—I never thought much his moral characteristics, a + iheear oad does he; he is too self-satis- \e. He—Really; do you mean to accuse him of vanity? Docc yee mrmoy fy I think be — s opinion of his own abilities, but per! ‘not better than they deserve. — He—You rd him then as—— She—Of exceptional cupacity as and writer. Yes, and that is one of tl why I feel such animosity toward him. Whi shame it is that a man should be allowed Powers when he makes them merely the slaves of his bigotry! He—Oh, yes, indeed. She—For some reason—I can scarcely imagine why—he hasa fondness for writing about women. ought, perhaps, to explain that it is his articles on this subject that bave ey roused my wrath agninst bum, e—Then itis with his views rather tham himeelf that you would quarr She—How am Ito disassociate him from what he sa; Ishe a parrot? To such men as Mr. Meriwether women are dolis to be, treated with mock deference im their homes, and, when forced by seity to go forth and earn a living, to be looked upon with scorn and distrust. He—Honestly, I do not think you ing him quite fairly. As 1 have read his articles, they seem to ma’ that woman's Proper sphere is the home, in her duties as Wife aud mother — 8 ‘es: and don’t you think those ideas come with fino effect from a man who is said te be altogether too selfish to marry? He (aside)—Gad! what a knock-out! She—He has the honor to belong to the very class of men who have helped to bring about this state of things which te sces fit to deplore He (after a long pause, during which he bas been tugging at his beard, while he s' at her face, turned half away from him)--Weil, if lever meet Mr. Meriwether i shali feel inclined to tell him what you say of him, She—But pray don't mention my name to © treat- He—Oh, certainly not. (Aside: Fore good Toason. ) She—You might suggest to him that before he ventures again to write about women who 0 into professional or public lite, he had bet- ter put himself tothe trouble of forming an acquaintance with some of article, for examp! the average woman has the bad taste tu order to show the evil effects of her professional study on her character as awoman. The picture is utterly unreal and impossibi He—Pardon me. 5 f cannot agree with you there. I think you are really unjust to Meri- wether. Now, I happen to know, as @ matter of fact, that that particular description was drawn from real! life... .. She—Weil, I suspected it of being an attempt at that, But, pray, who isthe subject of the caricature? He—I don’t like to say. a friend of yours. She (carclessly)—That is hardly possible, But if she were, 1 will promise you that will never tell. . He—The lady is Miss Crittenden, M.D. She—W cb course, I se And does the description strike you as just? He—I never met the Iady and do not know Do you? She—Ob, yes. Ihave been—well, you may say acquainted with her for some time. He—I can see, from the way you speak of ber, that you regard her in ch the same way that I do—that is, as Mr. Weriwether does, Come, confess; you might like her as an abstraction — as an independent woman braving public life but, as a reality, you do not admire her—as not that the casey She—Ye-cs, possibly. He—And she has not even the excuse which many women have—that of necessity She—No. I understand that it nothing buta deliberate fondness for scientific study enda malignant determination to have some- thing to do in the world that led her into it, He—You are satirical, perhaps. But think, if Miss Crittenden is as bright and as good- looking as they say she is, what acharming wo- Perhaps she may be jow, don’t vou think, for example, would gladly give up all she has won of fame and success to change places with ou? ” She—With me! And why with me? He (with awkward earnestness) — Because you have the qualities which make you envied of women and adored by men, (She laughs nervously and is about to answer, when Mrs. Victor-Godwin appears in the door. He rises.) Mrs. Victor-Godwin—Aren’t you coming to bear the music? Maestro will sing “Good Fri- day's Spell,” from **Parsifal.” She—On, I like that, so much, He (eagerly)—Do you? It is @ favorite of mine. Mra. Victor-Godwin (looking significantly from one to the other—I think that if you t were better acquainted, Mr. Meriwether would find that he many tastes in .ommon with Miss Crittenden. Both—What! aod From Life. And be will not return this autumn, Emerson’s Verdict.