The evening world. Newspaper, November 18, 1922, Page 12

Ce ee naSeNe eT IOweas ew York Evening World) Publishing Co Tilted! OU'VE got a tear drop in yer eye That brings my heart an ache. An’ now an’ then I hea u sigh As if yer own would break. Now listen, gal, ‘twon't never do— This pinin’, Tildy dear. He wusn’t good enough ter you, So.wipe away that tear. Yer daddy knows jest how you feel; But as the weeks go by You'll realize when love is real It ain’t a-goin’ to die. So take a brace an’ jest ferget. There's bound to come a day When time has knocked out all regret An’ winter's turned to May. OBSERVATIONS. Presume they can use that echo depth detector to best advantage along the Sound. W. B. Lioyd, millionaire Red, must go to jail, Bet that Red is pretty blue! Yukon River frozen over! Means plenty of ice for highballs in Alaska this winter! Hattle, sick elephant at Park Zoo, drinks lots of whiskey daily. Howja like to be a sick elephant? Wild deer thick in Connecticut, says despatch. Connecticut under- takers behind the report! Mexico now has bullfighters’ union. That's nothing. New York has about game thing up in Hell's Kitchen. Highway Rhymes. 1 walk along through old Park Row, Where presses in the print shops go, Reporters hurry here and there And drop in gin joints ev'rywhere. ICE-CREAM ARTHUR'S LOVE. (Written espectally for women with the finer conception of the higher life.) ‘The street car was No. 222, and as the policeman jotted the num- ber down the excitement broke out anew, “Bow, wow!" A dog seemed to be under the seat. Anna Crackerjacki was con- fused. But soon her mind cleared and, picking up the telephone, she called the town’s dog catcher. “Is that you, Archibald?” she asked, At that moment she was knocked down. Rolling over, she saw that a emall boy on a vetoci- pede had struck her. This was too much. “I shall sue the company,” said Anna. The fat man laughed loudly. Imagine any one suing the com- pany! He was about to speak when there was a noise in the benhouse. “A weasel!” said Anna. Leaping to her feet, she pulled the bell cord. “Woot, woot!” * Again the dog! Bewildered, Anna sank into a chair in the dining room. Then, obtaining a box of crayons, she drew her automatic. It was a tense moment. (To be continued.) THIS AND THAT. Tt is our firm belief that the floors fm all apartment houses should be numbered and kept numbered. We lve in a new hous® uptown and there are no numbers on the doors, The floors in the elevator shaft were num- dered with chalk unti! recently when @ painter was put to work on them. And now comes the meat of the story, We breezed home the other night about 1 A. M. and found the elevator operator half asleep. Entering the Mft, we gave him the number of our floor and up we went. The car stopped and out we got. The door of the apartment was unlocked and we went right in. “What do yuu want?” demanded a lady tn a very pretty kimono. “Why—er—is the wife in?” ‘asked. “Tam the wife. You get out or I'll scream.” But why continue? we Out we got ‘ again. We descended by way of the back stairs, and the next time we went up in the elevator we counted the floors ourself. Bo! | he boy bad throws @ stone SOUNDED FOOLISH TO HIM. 1 and in need of wa lamp, He HE Mayor of a provincial town, riding in his motor ear, found himself a long way from home or for his acetylene drove on until saw a man standing at the door of a cottage som for my repli “Tr want The man looked searchingly at the mote a moment. Then he wate thy advicn und get along . sir," he said impressively. You ought to be ashamed of yourself at your age—and you the Mayor, too." London Tit-Bits. CHARACTERIZATIONS OVER- HEARD. ‘66 2 is one of those echo per sons who agree with every thing you say.” “She is a woman who sticks principles 28 though they we ter of etiquette.” “He is the kind of man who saves favorite out the most important ingredient. Doston Transcript A tawa, Kan. from Wichita one day when he suddenly real- {ned that he was off the main road. Not being able to find his way again he drew his auto- mobile up to a farmhouse andin- quired. for the main road of a bashful farmer boy who loitered there. The fol- lowing uncomfor- table situation KNEW THAT MUCH. DRUMMER was ‘making’ Ot- pod: nich is the way to Ottawa, ts the way to Topeka, I don’t know."" “Well, can you tell me how to get back to Wichita, then?’ “II don't kne By this time the drummer was quite impatient and said to the boy you don’t know very much, do y To which the lad retorted: “No! But—but 1 ain't Prise Story in Judge lost!"— SARAH'S SPELLING, ITTLE LOUIS had gone to the L kitchen to observe old Aunt Sarah, the colored cook, at work making biscuits, After he had sampled one he observed: “Aunt Sarah, I can spell These are made out of d-o, do.” “But that doesn't spell dough,” LBuis's mother corrected, as she en- tered the kitchen to give the cook some orders. Whereupon Aunt Sarah thought that, she, too, wduld enter the dis- cussion, So she sald: “Dere's two kinds of do, chile. “"Do,' what you shuts, an’ ‘do,’ what you eats.""—Philadelphia Led- ger. now. A LAZY CONTEST. HHREE darkies were unloading a car of fire brick in one of the large steel plants of the East, and before they were finished a loco- motive moved the car from the brick shed, thus pre- venting them from finishing the job. The darkies slouched down in the hay and took a “spell A well-dressed man happened along, and, upon looking into the car, exclaimed “I don't believe I ever saw a eet of lazler men, rn give five dollars to the laziest man here.” Darky Number One jumped up and said: “Boss, folks say dat Ah is de lazin’est niggah aroun’ here." Darky Two lelsurely sat up and Jey all soy dat Ah's too tlahed mile for a watahmelon.” y Number Three then drawled volce: “Mistah, jes’ shov' dat money in mah pocket."* “When the well-dressed man was gone, the winner of the m “Rastus Jones, who am i jes’ handed me five bucks? “Buck Smith, doan’ you know the general sup'intendent when you see him?’—Forbes Magizine, through a window in the Yorkville section, and the big Irish cop had collared him. “It's to th’ etation house f'r yez," jattracted their attention, The woman fi B ) SATU: RDAY, NOVEMBER 18, =] The Evening World Comics | {Ll SAY That was ONE DIRTY JOB — wuar tL crave. Now tS @ Good LONG RIDE IN HER — Le's co! \| rin: Hilt jf —— Nouw NEPHEW 16 IN THERE ACTING AS THOUGH His FUTURE | WOZZAT 16 ALL BEHIND Him ay LITTLE MARY MIXUP YeEsTERDAY YOu Were LATE TO ScHooL - AN Now AGAIN TODAY - 0 THINK Tek TELG YeurR MoM Ta ENE You & Goon SPANKING — (LS De mart CAN KEEP FROM TING SPANKED For A Weex ste S To GET & DOLraReR - YesTERDAY SHe Just “PA HANDS ME A LAUGH! HE THINKS | _ JOINED THE WOMENS COMMUNITY PoLee FORCE JUST “To WEAR THIS UNIFORM } CC <a (ae S LLLLLZAD ADSI ASS A eat ccateeniiatian aout) KATINKA BUNK NOTHING f — EVERY Tine 1 WANNA KNow A U'L SECRET 1 SusT ASK “OUITA AN SHE NEVER Tes Aue! Trade Mark Reg. U. 8. Pat. Off. WHEN A FELLAH SPENDS Two HOURS AN'GETS SMEARED UP WITH DIRT AN’ Goo FIxin’ A CARBURETOR HE FEELS ENTITLED To A REWARD FoR HIS TRouBLe! HEY — Bee! watt A SECOND — WHERE Y' GoIn' —- ?—?? How MANY “Times Bo t Have, To REMIND You. “HAT “TODAY 1S THE DAY 1 ALWAYS Go To HAVE MY HAIR SHAMPOOED 71! Trade Mark Reg, U. 8. Pat. Off. WHY — DOES IG GALS FoLKS OBSECT YO HiM MARRYIN THEIR DAUGHTER ? DONNo — BuT (T MucT BE THAT ! Do THAT? I WonT CET MY Borrar AGET OUTA LN THAT SPANKING! y| SOMEHOW - PRY “To BE A QENIFIT “To THE <— COMMUNITY AND THATS THE THAMES) | GEY-—— OH HERE CoMES 5— OUR CAPTAIN | 5s ea) edianseietenietatntessheeenentement sald the cop. They were walking along when a noise, coming from a candy stand, said. small girl. “You tried to steal my candy,” she “Bay, walt o minute, Bull, will “Hey Do! BUT THERES ONE THING IN6UPERABLE IN THe Waly | -BuT = DID'NT THINK MINNIES FOLKS WOULD OBDECT TO HOUR MARRIAGE % HEAR-—WHY T THOUGHT THEY LikeD ‘rou ? Yesterday You Weee LATE 4ND T LET You OFF AND Now YOU GO AND Do THE SAME THING Topay- ‘Woo |MMODEST — FROM NOW ON WELL WEAR “THIS COSTUME ! MINNIE DOESNT like me ! WILL SHS GET THE Dowar oa THE SPANKING ~ 2 CONTINUED TSHOAROW ~ Quick BOsS-CAN 2 USE YouR. DICTIONARY For A SECOND ? in charge was pointing a finger at a] yer?” said the boy to the cop. “Whot f'r?" “I want to buy candy.” f that kid some] collar. He produced a nickel and bought] “But, mind yez, if yez bust anny the little girl some gumdrops. The|more winders, cop loosed his hold on the boy's|ye'll go.” AND NOW PERMIT US To tell you confidentially that it’s to the lock-up “Git out o' here!” he growled a our wife, when John Barrymore led Arthur Hopkins out of the stage at the opening of “Hamlet,” asked us if Arthur was the aus thor, &