The evening world. Newspaper, October 13, 1922, Page 36

Theatrical News and | Gossip | By BIDE A little kindness shown each day To help make glad some heart, A little patience at mistakes Where anger's apt to start. A little smile for those who plod With loads up life’s steep hill. If these won’t win a little pass To heaven, nothing will. OBSERVATIONS, No matter what you married men may think, the average woman has ® vocabulary of only 800 words, A Brooklyn man has been jailed for kissing a pretty girl. He says ne Merely ran smack into her Dr, Albert Abrams says man is an #lectrical machine, Can he mean Yhat man has electric lights. © Don't envy John D. jr. because of that increase of $52,000,000 In his wealth, Remember, he's got to Make out a terrible income tax statement. MAMIE AND THE MUDHOLE. }_ b . ethis story, in play form, will bo done | by the '49ere at the Punch Judy Theatre if the rights can be purchased.) A hot July sun was setting in , the west as Mamie McTwiggle | turned from the Oriole Avenue ‘ mudhole in response to her mother's cry of “Supper’s ready, Mamie.” Little did'khe think her leaving would precipitate an ar- gument, but it did. As she kicked: open the front gate Prince Soaki, the Russian, said to Jepp Coogan: “Seems to meeski you're pret- ty muddyovitch.” Street Commissioner Doggie, knowing Jepp had fallen in the mudhole, felt slightly to blame for his feflow-townsman’s plight. “Cut it out, Prince!” he said. A{ that moment Judge Coley Butterworth came along. The Judge ad a flowing beard, \ which he plaited himself os a + Pastime and this in itself was * astounding to the Prince. , “Well, Judge Coley, how's the < beara?” Commissioner Doggie thus ad- ° + dressed the jurist. “I been thinkin’ of gettin’ it bobbed,” replied the Judge. Mamie turned back from the gate. “Judge, sald. She wasn’t at all, but she said ~ It for the effect it might have on Prince Soaki. Commissioner Doggie saw througa her scheme. Stepping back, he drew his re- volver. “Throw up jyour hands!” he commanded. |The Prince, thinking the Com- missioner wanted to play, began » to eavort about the mudhole. * Coogan began to whistle. All this did not appear on the » Yevel to Mamie. The two rivals + for her hand ap@arently were anything but bitter. Turning to’ * the Commissioner, she said: iar astountied,” she ' | “Oh, go'slap a toad!” / > It all seemed so absurd. 4 (To be continued.) Abe Takes the Count. tbe Meliner and the Missus mixed ttle with their fists Saturday and Abe came out third. The Good Evening ! DUDLEY | POEMS OF PREFERENCE i A. Ellsworth, baying won a wife in this contest, is complaining. He says he'd like to trade her for the silver-plated glass eye we are offer- ing as the prize for the best whyme Here's what he writes: Your column catied her very fair, Ko ev'ry one confesses. With lips like cherries, cheeks Uke pearls And lovely auburn treases. But ah, they little know the coat Of that bright row of pearte, Nor do they know how much I paid For those same golden curls. Alas, they never hear her scotd From morn to set of sun, Nor do they hear her lecturings, Our nightiy couch upon. She thumps, she scolds; she scolds, she thumps. Oh, whither shall T fleet If she were but some other guy's, How happy T would be! Mixsus finished first and second. Kelton (O.) Tribun THIS AND THAT. It appears to be necessary for us to say a few words here regarding an insinuation, made by Heywood Broun in his eriticism of “The Ever Green Lady,” printed yesterday in The World, the little sister of this great newspaper. Mr. Broun implied that the drinkers of The Evening World are unable to preserve their equilibrium once they sight a bottle, ‘This, of course, is base slander and the three Evening. World men wao do indulge in a nip now and then are willing to prove it any time. All Mr. Broun has to do is get half a dozen quarts of good Scotch and leave it with the writer of this col- umn. The demonstration will take place soon after—if the demonstra- tors can escape that World mob. ww Now that the Clarencés have start- ed a movement to stop the practice of ridiculing their name, the Archi- balds should gei busy. One is just as guilty as the other. Incidentally, we'd like to know If there are any more Bides, outside the hundreds that have been named for us. If there are, we'll join them in stopping the use of profanity when the name is mentioned. H Bide is pretty /bady but we haye one consolation:’ our last name fsn't Fish. Bide Fish would be awful, wouldn't it? Espectally ‘with our facial beauty. Paul G. Hartman of Newburgh is a soda dispenser, but he dashes off a poem now and then, when he isn't flipping the juice. He has sent us the, following, entitled “A Society Girl's Love”: He asked her if she loved him, Her smile replied alone. You see, she loved the milkman And did not want it known, AND NOW PERMIT US To inform you that H. T. Schar- ringworsehousen, a San Fran- cleco Elk, who was given a finger-ring by ‘ais lodge, is com- Dlaining because his name wasn't engraved in it. ATHERINE EMMET, Genera! Manager of the Equity Players, now presenting “Malvaloca” at tho 48th Street ‘Theatre, fs in a quan- Mary. She cannot find a way to in- Auce Jane Cowl, playing the principal vole, to accept her salary. At the nd of ine first week Miss Emmet! jwent to Mien Cowl's dressing room Qwith a check, but the actress de- ‘Glined to accept It, preferring to make i present of her work to the Faulty. “Well, well!” said Miss Emmet, or . to that effect. i Besides declining pay, Miss Cow! refused to allow her name to be ut in the theatre's electric eign. THE CHOIR SEES DOANE. About @ dozen serious-faced, mid- le~aged men sat together in the jokernovker Theatre the other eve- Ming and applauded loudly every time Frank Doane appeared in ‘Abe entire show, but Doane particu- The [Yankee Princess." ‘These men liked emn places, so they let me out. They wouldn't let me queer the choir,”’ NEW BILL FOR PARK, The Minskys are rehearsing an en- tire new bill for the Park Music Hall. It will open»next Mopday. La Mar Chand, the French dfrector, ts staging the new burlesques, DOUGH FOR THE JESTERS. ‘The Messrs. Shubert plan to have material written by well-known newspaper humorists for comedians in Shubert shows to use in making phonograph records. These records, {t is believed, will provide valuable advertising for the shows, H. I Phillips will do his stuff first. Willie and Eugene Howard, of “ The Pass- ing Show of 1922," at the Winter Garden, will make the regord. ¥) “On the Stains” moves fram the Playhouse to a re y aroused their enthusiaens, Tel Pitxhouse to Ditly’s theatre, Monday recognized them and later ex- about them. ‘They always come T play on Broadway. fehoir,"” remarked a friend. “E surely did,’ same from Doane. Oh, I wasn't ) “Those fellows," he said, ‘used to % with me in the choir at Grace nee me 1. didn't know you ever sang in al” Klaw. 1b I was full of the devil night, McCord and Elliott Taylor nm engaged to dance at the J life und H % TKUBOL “The Wheel of Life. The new Stuart Benson play, to be ace Sinclair for support tn | Jailer."* produced by Kilbourn Gordon, is y) ‘Trade Mark Reg. U, 8. P MY ANCESTORS MUST HAVE BEEN VIKINGS — “hs WILD COUNTRY MAKES ME WANT Do GREAT DEEDS — GOSH ~ wHAT A Jov TT GET AwAY' FROM © “We NOISY. BUSTLING £ mB Crty AND DRINK: IN Th’ FRAGRANT OZONE | OF “HE MOUNTAINS —~ T.MEVER WANTA Go BACK AGAIN =) A Hey You' ir i'm Gonna COOK , You'vE GoTTA CHOP SQME Wood — I AIN'T Fa] URGE “% WIELD AN Axe OR A BROADSWORD! ‘Trade Mark Reg. U. 8, Pat. Off. “THEY “TOLD ME AT “OuR OFFi¢e “THAT Sou “ok “THe DAY OFF | WESTERDAY “AMeTS ALL “He mien WAY ‘Eve Gor To TAKE MY SUIT To TH CLEANERS AN’. SToP OFF AN’ ORDER A NEW RUG? “THEN Lack uP Some PAINTERS “Yo -ER-GET EM “To PUT “TH! FINIGHIN “TOUCHES ON THAT xX CANT SOP “To TALK Now~ acm WAN AWEUL HURRY sam ! “wile A Doe Wacs HS TAIL — har stows He aint MAD, AT YA AND i WONT BITE a - ) see? Im Wace \ HIS TAIL FOR. 44 _ \Now HE Wont BITE Nosody ¢ AINT | WAGGEIN His Tan ee LO BOBBY, GEE YOU hHOW ARE. YOU AND f FUNNY IN THAT BOBBY GETTING ON OH IT ISN'T THE RIDING HABIT! ON. TIME —IT'S DISGUSTING! AFTER L HAVE A TALK WITH HER SHE'LL Be CONVINCED “THAT A HAN WITH BRAINS |S MORE DESIRABLE } KATINKA, I Don't WANT You To Foot HE ANY LONGER — IF Y'DONT LIKE ME I WANNA KNOW WHY! WELL, IF You'Le USTEN To HE, FerDiEe— PICTURE HEROES! SUE SHE TUL TeLt You THE ISAW THAT Guy RUDOLPH WOLCA\ “Find Cynthia." not “The Gentle | morrow and meet Max and Moritz, the chimpanzees. Fred G, Latham ts to stage “The Bunch and Judy,'’ Charles Dilling-|John Marren of the Baltimore Sun, ham's next musical comedy, made her dobut last night as a mem- her a cake. "This week's Wednesday matinee of|ber of the ensemble of ‘Blossom One thousand children will drop in} ‘East of Sues’ brought the biggest | Time.’ r continue to sail the blue, but it won't Wednesday afternoon receipts tho] Walter Hampden bw Shakes-]be oearly so blue as the passengers. at the Central Theatre at noon ¢: f ' ‘ Eltinge Theatre has khown since “Within the Law.’ Phyllis Marren, daughter of Editor Pearian season at Parson's Theatre, Hartford, last night, offering his new production of ‘‘Othello.’* FOOLISHMENT. Dogs bow-wwow and cats meow While the rooster crows. Then we come to Mrs. Cow; “Moo” she always goes. Add to this the donkey’s bray, repeat it twice, And you're apt to find youve a Barnyard paradise. Sarah Edwards, who sings at the Hippodrome, had a birthday yesterday and the “Bettem, Times" folks gave PUT IT IN THE ACT. “What are you doing with that j pick?" “Trying to break up @ eold,”’ A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY. If Daugherty has his way ships will ff M A