The evening world. Newspaper, October 7, 1922, Page 15

Business Men To-Day Need All the Weight They Have So as to Meet the Adverse Incidents of Trade. asthe Worry as an Anti-Fat More Efficacious Than All the Diets and Exercises Put Together. > By Montague Glass. ‘W ELL, Mawruss, | am getting every morning music be- ore breakfast nowadays,” Abe ’ Potash re- marked one morning — last week, “Why don't you complain to the Board of Health?” Morris asked. “A couple years ago MeeTe was a tamily living on the Sor below by the name Kup- k which the daughter was try- ng to see it she couldn't from being a bookkeeper work her way up to be a sopranner by practising before and after Pflice hours, y'understand, and er the neighbors complained once to the Board of Health be, they sent so many inspec- tors around that the g she would become instead an in- Mawruss terior decorator. I would write to the Board of Health thru about the music I get before bre tnust, Rosie would be awful sore at me, because ounces Drug the downtown side scat two ounces, but just the same, Maw- with something comp tl decides oy) yr" Abi THE EVENING WORLD, SATURDAY, OCTOBER erlm WEIGHT, WORRY AND EXERCISE through six double-faced’ records | against getting fat.” sé A FTER Rosie has exercised her way , of somebody who is taking the usual precautions she feels as good as though she had done a heavy day’s washing and ironing and “People which is getting fat rapidly don’t take no credit for it, whereas if somebody had the sole care of a family of six active chil-|makes up his mind to get thin right away he dren.” wants to collect a couple of medals and give all --— his friends and family the benefit of his experi- “When it comes to cutting out all rich, |ence.” starchy and good-tasting’ foods and not taking cream in my coffee, it’s bad for me and I like it, y’'understand, I ain’t going to burn my bridges behind me until I reach them.” bined.” “As a first class, a number one, crackerjack means of getting thin, worry has got it all over diet, exercise and phonograph records com- “I would a whole lot sooner live and work “I need anyhow twenty pounds extra around with a person who is taking the usual precau-|the waist for when some of our weaker cus- tions against getting thin than to have to go tomers in the department store business goes fifty-fifty on the diet, the ideas and the worries |under after Christmas.” that while the phonograph 3 is plitying, Rosie takes exercises in lime to the music, y’understand, and Abe commented. “Well, if after she has exercised her way six double - faced records, she feels as good as though st done a heavy day's wash- she’s greatly encouraged by ing and ironing and had the sole care ount of weight she haus le ot a family of six active children, ing that music treatment nd dollars’ worth — pl s Abe continued, ‘she looks rds in less than six wecks like she would be going to have apo- ady reduced herself th plexy at most any moment and for the scales in Plotkin halt n hour afterwards she is so Store and three ounces and a short of breath that she couldn't even "Yes hajf by the scales on the platform give me a comeback when T tell her I of the 110th Street subway station think she's crazy to go through such uptown side On the other hand, b torture, y'understand she's gained “But couldn't she reduce her welght atively nless betes?" Morris inquired. st the point, Mawruss," re 8 you are very careful of "You are talking In riddles,"" Morris your diet and lose a lot of flesh, y'un- ald. How could 4 » his derstand, you will never catch one of from listening phono- them sicknesses where you have to be very careful of your diet and lose a like « MORRIS REFUSES TO BURN lot of flesh." i‘ “Hut being very careful of your diet BRIDGES UNTIL HE COMES a4 josing-d lot of flesh in onder not to eateh such a disease is simply beating it listening the disease to it, ain't it? Morris said, “and if you weren't very careful TO THEM. “Who is when it comes to cutting out all rich, starchy and good-tasting foods and not taking cream in my coff it's bad for me and T like it, y'under- stand, T ain't going to burn my bridges behind me until I reach them." TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS AND fi the worries of somebody who 4: the usual precautions against fat, y'understand,"* Abe continued, ‘pe ting fat so heavil People which is getting fat rapidly don't take no credit for it. They just of your diet and didn't lose u lot of flesh, you might never cateh such a disease at that, so therefore, Abi > because SEVEN POUNDS SIX OUNCES. “So far as T am concerned, Maw- russ, T give you leave to take on fifty pounds to-morrow yet," Abe said, “be cause T've still got ce ioned notions which a lot of strong minded, up-to-the-minute thinkers don’t agree with me about, and one of them notions is that T would a whole lot sooner live und work with @ person Who is taking the usual rtain old-fash- wutions unst getting thin than have to y-fifty on the diet, the ideas and hing ting “Which for one thing, Maw: ain't gol ¢ their mind, Ol fat and let it go ut that, whereas “i if somebody makes-up his mind to get thin and succeeds, y'understand, right away he wants to collect a couple of medals and give all his friends and family neblch tho benefit of his ¢x- perience If he's eating lunch anywheros {11 the same restaurant with you and you should order up a dish of gefullte rin derbrust mit kartoffel kloes or some- thing, he would sp from as far away as ten tables, and he would knock over six walters and a bus boy, ome over and tell you your grave with in his hurry to that you are digging your stomach. Take Harris Mandelstamm, Maw- russ,"" Abo went on, “and that feller claims to have dropped twenty pounds in six weeks from not drinking no liquids with his meals, ‘The conse- quence js, Mawruss, that the way Harris blows about it, understand me, you would think there was a No- Jiquid-With-Meals United States Open Championship, —y'understand, and ther he won the gold cup against all comers, whereas if the truth was known, Mawruss, the fact that Har- ris Mandelstamm & Co, got stuck for $10,000 in a couple of silk failures last month would account for anyhow seven pounds six ounces of the twenty pounds Harris dropped."* RENEWING NOTES A REDUCING EXERCISE. “Wor that matter, Abe, the weight which people drop from dieting and exercise, y'understand, is 50 per cent diet und 50 per cent. worrying abgut getting fat," Morris declared. ‘In fact, if them same people got the idea that they was getting too thin they would lose just so much weight over worrying about whether they was vating the right kind of food to make them fat, because as a first-class, Al crackerjack means of getting thin Abe, worry has got it all over dict, exercise and phonograph records com bined, “L could name you a dozen fellers, Abe, in the sill and cotton converting business which when business wis good from 1914 to 1920 was obliged to have thelr dress clothes’ pants let out in the back regularly every six months,"’ Morris continued, “and sthat was tn spite of the fact that th played golluf, rode horseback and took daily exerclso {n a gymnasium, understand me. But when the bot- tom fell out of the mar 1920, Abe, not only did they drop golluf, seback und gymnasium to reduco “FOR TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS WORTH OF PHONOGRAPH IN LESS THAN SIX WEEKS SHE'S ALREADY RE- DUCED HERSELF THREE OUNCES BY THE SCALES IN PLOT- KIN’S DRUG STORE.” also dropped from for every ten days of the renewal for Which he gives me." sain when you think that if he didn’t zive It to you and was to « on us Instead, Abe, you and me would a couple of living skeletons before o through with us, that’s what makes it so foolish for a person to worry about getting fat, altract the buyers « can sympathize President of the Ko shout renewing perspiration alone Yr. amounts to the fact that he in worry ing because he ain't got nothing to worry about and is therefore getting fat.” NO SINESS MEN NOW OVER. WEIGHT. “In thas cane, Mawruss, he shoul! ought te console himself with the thought that be ts getting fat onts temporarily,” Abe sald, ‘becaus: sooner or later y’understand, worrle come to everybody. In fact, only thi morning I was saying the same thin: to Poste. She says to mo that I w way over-weight and ff I would Join her in them exercises, I could redur+ twenty pounds. Furthermore as un inducement she told me I could take out the cost of the phonograph records out of the housekeepine money In weekly installments of two dollars. “And ¥ told her I wouldn't do it, not {f she would schenck me to private performances of the Boston Symphony Orchestra free for nothing, because the way business is nowa- days, Mawru no business man is over-weight. I need anyhow twenty pounds extra around the waist fo when some of our weaker customers in the department store business goer under after Christmas, y'understand Also, Mawruss, if the railroad strike keeps up and our fall shipments is delayed that we get a few cancella tions, understand me, I could also do with chotsig another ten pounds or s0."* “T suppose there must be plenty of executive heads in tho automobile business which {s losing the equiva- lent of two hours’ gymnasium work a day whenever they think of the coal situation, Abe,’ Morris said. “Sore of them must be doing in effect 23, 666 holes of golluf a day right now trying to find enough fuel to keep their factories open. “T give you right, Mawruss,"’ Abe sald, ‘which it. only goes to show how people who worry about getting fat are meeting trouble right on the ar rival plaform, Why, there must bi million ex-hearty eaters in Russi: who when they think how they wor ried about getting fat some years ago could laugh themselves to death “It they ain't dead from starvation already,"’ Morris concluded. Copyright, 1922, by the Beil Byndicate, Ino. “gaus’° KIDDIE KLUB KCRNER SATURDAY SPECIAL FEATURE caver, | ULLAL LLL SEBY BARRYIG HOW TO JOIN THE KLUB. LITTLE CHUNKS OF WISDOM. CUT OUT THIS COUPON, The Ball Game. Beginning with any number tout six If all happened on the lot after pupons, 00M Wesley hud been watching 1,002, 1,08 World's Serles us an outsider. lot I mean the ground on which the big movie nd mall "be car studio is built. lon mot “only the city in which Ves nm E a you live, but the rough also. ue Bere time ‘All children up to sini vente Of age may become ni ach ni 4 rare prem with tray Klub Pin wae e ome and membership certificate. scenes that he COUPON 999, wasn’t in, and being a red-hot wherever there 1s a boss !t is up to "fan"! he suggest- i you to accept his decision whether ed a, ball gamo you like {t or not. with @ few of the Of course Wes won tn tho fistle on- extras (little bo counter, but ho mado up his mind who act in mov- that the diplomatic way 1s the best ing pictures, but Wes had a black eye for over a whose names do week. not appeur on the YP. S.A @iplomat ts a uy wise programme). enough to sidestep trouble One thing all kids have #o learn, “To leave me there until flowers = = = again bloom. 2 which they poked at her and pricked wt heard Bill say the other day her while they sang the 5c Chin Kobakama’ over and over After that they came every nig’ “The Princess was terribly Ps w because Pe ho has an intimate acquaintance a A with "Babe" Tuth, felt best qualified AN OLD CHAIR. : to umpire the game. All went mer Onco he stood in the palace, bere } rily until the score stood a tie in the the queen, t \ ninth inning and one side had threo And was polished each day, until : 6 on bases, with the last up man, when perfectly clean, i Msi Wes called ‘Strike threo!’ In less And not a soul with barefoot tect ! < than @ second the air was filled with Would dare stand on that beautiful : ,-G dust and lusty cries of “Get them!"" weat. i <S “Kill the umpire!" “Get him!" “The royal folk,” this chalr woul x an “Get him!" Star or umpire, {t mat- | say, k be tered not to them when they thought ‘‘Acted to me in a very nice way: : y, the declan aneals, “They never put me in a dark room ° ’ » : hat he was going to take me # ‘And hammer and chop mo all could “Until I'd turn into frewood, ened and told her hus 4 - BURA, (asi: Shatonia ed tos “eyou human beings aren't kind at gether for tho fairl to appear. At all: the hour of the Ox they popped UP wyoy “Hist care tor mo when once 1 from everywhere and nowhere and gon began tormenting the fi ntened Princess. When tho singing and rev- XXVI.—What 1 Sen Told you know tlic story of Chin Chin Ko- are supposed to know how to do, elry was highest, out of his hiding Alice, bakuma?" And che grew up and married without place came her warrior husband. At girl hasa Alice had to admit that she did not. even knowing how to dress herself the flash of his steel—bright sword new doll to play with, hen sit down and I shall tell you,"* properly. Think of it!" each little soldier turned Into a— tan Mika tina cara frolic, Alice to I Sen, a dainty, #ald T Sen Allee tried to imagine such @ guess what?—a toothpick! “But I don't call tt frolic at all eyed miss in a long kimono, Alice looked about for a chair, but person but found it diMcult, Then ‘‘How funny!"' laughed Alice. T8en «ro gtand alone against the wall Joll Is not new, it is very old," there was nono in I Sen’s house, so I Sen went on. nodded and went on: Sen proudly “It was my She sat cross-lesged on the t “Tho Princess's husband was very | “A servant gathered up and burned «wnat 1 need ts a polishing and my grandmother's and straw mats that covered the floor and brave, but not very rich, and the ser- the toothpicks and tho fulrles disap- “Ang @ pretty paint that will cling, it shall be my little girl's when I am I Sen smiled and sat down too, Shu vants in his house were not so many peared. 1h Shae Gahara there ase chiifres big and have a little girl of my own." did it very quietly and sat very close as in her father's house, 60 she was “The warriors wife begged eo pret- tan, Bolvem “Is that why you are so careful of to Alice so that she might talk in ‘ie not waited on so mu It was ter- tily to be forgiven for her untidyness “anq then I will look ust lke new Fob ow -DOTED this dolly, because you ere saving {t Wee-est whisper and still bo hear ribly hard to keep herself pretty and that her honorable husband could ‘py ¢ LIA KAPLOWITZ the way your mother and grandmother Alice, though not by the fatrics, esh-lo twice as hard as it not easily refuse, From that day on 19%, Brooklyn. an aia?"" Alice aske hoped would be for you or me. So ehe was there were no unburned toothpicks tn _ f : a "No,"' smiled A long, oh a very long time ago," ain 1 when her brave husband that house and no more fairies elth “Why, when baby throws me dowr “You leave me there, and how y frown! ‘ “I wonder why you do not know Fou. ow vboltaedD Paste Bac oF Porr win arse cee-qeesemeccces? Dear Girls and Little Boys fur of oll my i Sen in a low whis: went off to the wars, Then she did = “So you that we must be ve well, becat 5 there Hved a Japanese girl. I think not need to be so particular about her neat in I the fairies will find Mere is another Pollykin paper doll Tt ts considered proper among the 1 ! on this cardboard and the {t in the middle of Pollykin's back. meds ca wake sire that noche he was a E and just us big toilet, and she would sit long tis out disgrace us just that Cut her out, dress her and make her old-style peasants of France for an ss and cap on heavy, smooth pa- _— ening and said, ‘because the fairies a8 We. She was much prettier thun 1, mun an paste, way," And Al stand inmarried miss to wear @ cap to hide per. When the paste ta dry, cut out Have you kept the first Pollykin 2 pynish me if I am not.’' I but not so pretty @s you, my tastes somet was seer glad tt here were no This time Pollykin {» her own sweet her hair, Is not that er custom? 1 n, her clothes and the stand- paper doll which was published in the “Pairies are good folk," Inughed American guest ta@ G¥ery one loved sugh el 1 America was self and @ French p They will not harm you." her The serve @ her father's s between the. straw ay on the afraid they might, tn the ne tu children never see the fairies house petted an@ Safed on her until floor: want girl as We think {t is, Pol well. As @ peasant, Pollykin's dress and when her M1 into tattling tooth brushes that would !s blue and red with many stripes of tume in which F knew it, ard Saturday Kiddle Klub Korner throe made this cos- If you do not wish Pollykin to weeks ago? If you have, you will in went to the stand up you need not use the stand- find that the two dolls can exchange Japan," said I 8 “but naughty, she was quite lazy and even stupid ‘One night she awakened and found tell how many times she had gone to black velvet braid around the bot- party se made the cap as well ard, but if you wish her to stand dresses and that sel two costumes reless ones do, and they regret it about doing all the little things which her pillow full of Uttle warrtors with 1 unu tom, with a white blouse under the DIRECTIONS. alone, fold the standard along the will ft each equally jonorably,"’ she sald gravely, ‘Don’: Japanese girls, no matter how rich, wee ‘uny swords, two aplece, with Hue bedice and a crisp white cap Paste Tollykin und Pollykin's dotted yes, as indicated, and paste COUSIN N ELEANOR, - 4 a ‘ al . ——