The evening world. Newspaper, October 7, 1922, Page 12

We always dread the time each day When father starts to shave. We never talk—it doesn’t pay, When father starts to shave. His razor’s edge is rather bad, He does some hacking truly sad; He’s always simply roaring mad, When father starts to shave. Most nervously he'll pull and : jerk, When father starts to shave. And stopping blood is half his work, When father starts to shave. The children always go and play, While mother softly slips away. She doesn’t like the things he'll say, When father starts to shave. Q OBSERVATIONS. Fs Weston is eighty-four, but he tA walks like sixty. ‘i The Optic says the Wellsville | Women's Club has 200 members on _ te rooster, At a meeting of coal dealers in | Chicago the other day some wag mang “Keep the Home Fires Burn- ing.” A Chicago man whose wife hadn't spoken to him for eighteen years divorced her. Since the decree was issued her proposals of marriage have averaged three an hour. MAMIE AND THE MUD HOLE|®¢t!es follows. Mr. Nutt, by the way. charming story of a beautiful girl and & defective pavement.) The Street Department was really to blame. Had Chester Doggie, the Commissioner, used the proper care in paving Oriole ' Avenue, this story might never } have been written. But tho day the work was done he was ae- ‘ spondent and remained at home ; to beat up the family. The _ Mud hole resulted, and it was t directly in front of the home of | Mamle McTwiggle, belle of Bust- ~~ ville, Mamie came of a family ~—wwe| that was unalterably opposed to mud. Her great-grandfather, old Hoboken McTwiggle, res- | = ened a girl from a wagon stuck '-» im the mud one-time and after- ward married her. Thus, you see, Mamte’s dislike for mud was in the blood. j Jepp Coogan, the town whis- tler, was in love with the girl. He had watched her grow from & mere grease spot and he had @reamed of the day when he could call her bis own. It was his wont to call on Mamie each Saturday night, taking along an fee cream cone. Frequently, _ however, he started on his jour- ey pretty well tanked up, and « bis step was uncertain. Nine times ont of ten he ‘would fall in the mud hole and Mamie wouldn't speak to him. She did not care for a muddy beau. On the particular night our AY BAINTER Is to be seen soon F in Monckton Hoffe's play, The Painted Lady." Her manager, William Harris jr, says, however, | s tha: he may change the title. Re- | learsals will begin Oct. 16 under the @irection of Robert Milton, and the | New York opening will take place Wov, 20. Miss Bainter is in the West at present, but will start for New Fork in a day or two. LAMBS TO ELECT. ‘The Lambs will hold an election on Oct, 19. The regular ticket will go through without opposition. A. O. Brown will be re-clected Shepherd; Frits Williams, Boy; Maclyn Ar- Buckle, Corresponding Secretary; _ Geme Buck, Recording Secretary; Henry Smith, Treasurer, and Edwin | Mordant, Librarian. Those nominated ‘@ Directors are 8, B, Hamburger, oe Purnell B. Pratt, Sam B. Hardy, R. OH, SHE REALLY DID. Ben Johnson, who is “killed” at | the end of the first act in “Whisper- ‘ime Wires,” at the 49th Street Thea- | ter went out into the body of the last night to see the rest of the “Show. Now let Joo Fiynn tell st, “hg he stood in the rear looking at Good Evening ! By BIDE DUDLEY eee vw wee [ POEMS OF PREFERENCE | Arthur Rosenfeld, the pictu frame poet, is out to win the pear!- handled nosegay offered as the prize in this contest, Arthur is a bachelor and handsome at that. However, he has not been able to win a wife a5 yet, so he has a double object in writ ing the following rhyme: T want a Uttle lady Who shakes a wicked hoof, 80 when I go out with her And land on Ziegfeld's Root The folke wiil be delighted To sce us shake and whirk And ev'ry one will murmur: ) “Just look at Arthur's girl story opens Jepp Coogan was crawling out of the mud hole when Mamie approached. She was gowned in Lackawanna golden gingham, cut tripod and ‘trimmed with imitation thistle- down thumps. In her hand she held a dalsy—just one pretty daisy. “Hello, Mamie!” Jepp held up the muddy ice cream cone. “No, thank you!” said the girl. \ It really was quite an absurd situation. (To Be Continued.) NUTS DOPE. Jefferson Shrewsbury Nutt’s story of the second game of the World's writes exclusively for this column. “Dear Dud: | and the wife ‘saw the second game between the Lankies and the Lincoln Giants and now ready to give the world our version of «it. Ebbets Field wae crowded with rooters and the wife said they were root- ing for Babe Root, the pla: t and pretty witty. The game was called when it was found there wouldn't be enough darkness for the men to play. The score was 3 to 3, but I don’t know who won, | forgot to ask. The playing wae very nice and Lord and Lady Winterbottom were in a box, thus making the day quite a social one. Gov. Landis was there and | and the wife hunted him up for an interview. | asked him, ‘What about the game, my friend?’ and to worry about it. id When we left the old gentl was feeling fine and told us expected to see rain before long.’ By the way, ! find I’m shy just $11 on the price of a suit of clothes. Send it along, please. When we left, about 25,000 peo- ple were quarrelling about some- thing in the ball park, Much ex- citemont but could learn noth- Ing.—Joff.” AND NOW PERMIT US to suggest that you refrain from calling up Jefferson Shrewsbury Nutt for the baseball scores. Great writers find such interrup- tions extremely annoying. be sent to Mr, Flynn, care 49th Strect Theatre. AN INQUISITIVE MAN, A stage hand at the Ambassador Theatre. approached Bud Murray, stage manager, and sald: “What do they mean by ‘The Lady in Ermine?’ I never heard of Ermine. Just where is it?’* “It's a town in Siberia,” grunted Murray. The stage hand went away and Murray thought he was rid of him. He returned in ten minutes, however, “Say,"’ he said, ‘where ts Ciberia?" GOSSIP. John Cromwell ts now playing tn “Hast Side, West Side." The Children's Theatre of the Threshold Playhouse will open Oc! George Tallis of Williamson, Ltd., is here to see ‘The Cat and the Canary," which will be produced in » who was in Elsie Gang," has joined the cast of “Bettey Times’ at the Hippo- drome, . Conchita Piquer, Spanish singer and dancer, has been engaged for Hitchy Koo of 1923." Alice Brady will open an engage- ment on the Proctor Circuit Monday, using a condensed version of ‘'Drift- ing.” Mme. Maria Kousnezoff will give ' { | The Evenin I rent tanta connnntooooapecenoreennennnionnrncnnncciniibinn * H JOE’S CAR ‘Trade Mark Reg. U. 8, Pat, Off, m “Tenting To-Night ig H g World Co J een ON ED, LE'S PITCH TH! TENT ~ Now THEN —GeT UNDER WE'LL GE A Good NIGHTS REST Hey ! ae hes CTHIS BIG Rock — IT'LL KEEP THIS “THING AN HOLD IT UP AN’ Go FISHIN" IN “Th! MORNING IF : My OFFA ME — . FAS . AT f—— 1M SITTIN eran ; — 7 Fs ON \T AND 1 CAN'T LIFT (T= Busy! ain'r < ‘Me 4 MURRY ED, I'VE LOST MY 1 BusY GETTIN’ : CIGAR AND I(T MAKES Ay HE TENT our ?| [- ‘ 4 SMUDGE IN HERE —!—!! —— p OulYou STARTED weed ie =a DAWGONIT T= Now ‘ou WANT osha am WoMAN - BE (T STOPPED HUH? eh bine Gua S@URSELF I! WHY Bia e@ra-err- / ARE ‘YOU KEEPIN % uP TH ARGUMENT Trade Mark Reg. U. 8. Pat. Off. They’re Shy of Everything but Nerve! : jena VY Hey Mom? os ‘) AN THEY 5410 -wouLd “Hose NEW PeoPLe % “RUN OVER AND LDDAT GET eM. Sed USED | va Please Go GET NEXT Dook ¢ TELL THose FouKs RYE | ley sap THEY AN THEY US ; i ake ae HEY Borrowed | NEXT DooR- You ay, LWeee NT “THRoucH OP ALK THE ) sone More NAILS Our Hammer AND, WANT our Hammer ‘ With ‘EA Yer — So elit AWA: OTS NAILS YESTERDAY AD NAILS “RIGHT ; y THEY COULD BoieRow | AND HAVE NTS AWAY @ : : : =M ° eRe USED: THEM jk > . F 4 ' ; SSS SSS SAY! WHAT'S “THIS IS “KRAZY KRAX™ DAY, AN THe \DEA OF TIM SENDING ‘EM AS PRIZES FoR THE, ALL These BEST CONTRIBUTIONS RECEIVED DUMBBELLS, IN THis WEEK'S § KATINKA? 48 PL los ANgetes, CAL 4 BY THOMAS Quinta 7026 So cepar . TACOMA, Was BY W stAtiouvac 0 G64 » Or Aves MiWAUKEE, Wis SO YOURE REALLY GOING | | GEE, THESE COLLEGE fe TIM AFRAID BAT se , I DON'T SEE MR. UNL WAYS Ah oO COME IN HAT OUTRIT, | | DANCES ARE BORING! | | GuRME AROUND OF MR BURKE'S : Ddity SS Anio os ae HE DON'T SEE 3 A FRESWMAN op Th BAB EVER aWE CAN MAKE WER! "A FQ. GUESS SHE. DRESS IN. A SILLY p. ‘ Ra SILLY OUTEVT AN SHE WON'T ——\ ——_—_——_——_ my! 1 CERTAINIY LIKE LITTLE CHILDREN (Copyright, 1922, by the Bell Syndicate, Inc.) week. He will have his own act ir | will be given Monday night; finals tn| prizes and applause contests, Sou-|For."* That was Julia Dean. Yes for FOOLISHMENT. PUT IT IN THE ACT. December, the waltz championship contest will] venirs will be given all patrons} other two, Mary had a Uttle gout “How would you get down off an Frances Howard and Willlam|be danced Tuesday; Wednesday will] nightly, elephant?’ play,” says Joe, “a woman|s00n a performance for the relief of] Holden have been engaged by Will-|bring a “country store; Thursday, oe A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY. It was known as Andy faiea , him and fainted. She destitute members of the Russian|iam A. Brady for “Swifty.” Columbus Day, will find the dancing ANSWERS TO INQUIRIES. Surely Lord and Lady Mountbatten] , ’ ae he ” nobiiity, Next week will be Anniversary|on at 3 P. M. and a Mardi Gras car-| Keating—Sorry, but cannot remem- | will never be able to complain of their Once the goat got mad at her You don't sf! “thought he was a ghost. | Carlo De Angelo will join Mabellweek at the Terrace Garden Dance|nival at night, Friday will be “My|ber the rhyme. treatment in Ameriga, They have met P A ¢ phant; you get It off a d Remplaints shout this story should “Taliaferro's act in Dayton, O., next Palace. ‘The Dance Palace Follies''| Lucky Night’ and tere will be door! M. L. W.—Not "Bought and Paid] Babe Ruth Landy! Landy! Landy! B.D,