The evening world. Newspaper, September 23, 1922, Page 15

Ry ‘he Sam Flach Flachsmanns of the Country Who Don’t Pay Their Notes Are the Fel- lows Who Steer the Politicians. , {Their Ideas Are Their ;| Own but on the ; | Whole Their Ideas ef Are Very Conserva- | tive Just Like Those ' & of the Bankers. By Montague Glass. mY ELL, Mawruss, Sam Flachsmann has washed his hands of the Hard- amg Administration anyhow so far is the railroad and coal strikes is poncerned,” Abe Potash announced his partner, Morris Perlmutter, he other day. “He is also through with France if they don’t give Germany a moratorio on the indemnity, Mawruss, and from the way he talked last night ies when me and Rosie was, overto the Flachs- manns’ for dinners, y’understand, it wouldn’t surprise me in the least if any day now, Sam wouldn't be off of Ireland for life.” aAre you ealkDg about Ge fel- THE EVENING - ORS me THE EVENING WORLD, SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 23, The Public-Spirited Citizen’s Opinions 6olV HO else would suggest that the United States Shipping Board should spend eight hundred million dollars if it wouldn't be a man who couldn't pay a note for seventy- five dollars which is overdue now nint months? “As you and me and several million other business men are too busy worrying about things which is happening right under our noses, y’understand, how would the politicians know which way tu jump if it wasn’t for the Sam Flachsmanns?” “This is a republic and it ain't conducted on the principle of One Successful Business Man One Vote. It’s a strictly One Man Ine Vote proposition, whether the election is being held by a city, a State or a weekly magazine.” “A loud-mouthed feller like Sam Flachsmann when he starts to talk about public questions usually makes noise enough for anyhow five people, and whether he is giving his opinions in a magazine straw vote or just by talking his friends to death, he is always a five times repeater.” “We would’ deserve to get already fined or something for it if it wouldn’t be that the country is perfectly safe in the hands of the Sam Flachsmanns.” ler Flachsmann what used to run the little cigar stand in the Broa t- way-Bleecker Building before they tore it down last year?” Morris Perlmutter inquired. “They tore down the cigar stand a mean that this was told you by Sam Flachsmann, your wife niece’s hus- band, which has owed us for pretty near a year seventy-five dollars on the note we indorsed for him?" “Say!" Abe exclaimed, “who el! would suggest that the United States Shipping Board should spend eight hundred million dollars if {t wouldn't furs hay got be a man who couldn't pay a note for seventy-five dollars which is overdue some wonderful pointers to give Mr. now nine months?” Lasker on the way he should ought to run the United States Shipping “And -what is more, Mawruss, Sam Boara! Flachsmann {s also in favor that we all the indebtedness which Europe owes us on account of the war,"’ Abe continued. long time before they tore down the building,” Abe said, couldn't make a go of it, but at the same time, “on account Sam Mawruss, Sam told me some of them last night should cancel In the first place, y’under- stand, Sam would set aside the sum of three hundred million dolls s, and then""—— “But where does he come in to be “Excuse me interrupting you, Abe,” in favor or not in favor—a schlemiel Morris broke in, “but do you actually Hke that would be turned out on the ALLELE CL LLLLL LE LLL LULL LTTE LLL LLL LLU LULU LULL OL LUDA LLL LL ALLL LULU ELE LE CITT CL oa av CHAPTER XXIV. Japan. 'T was only a step In the minds of I the children from China to Japon “I want to see the Land of the Ris- fng Sun before we leave the Far East,’' said Jamie. “What's the use of going there?’’ Vy Atice asked. ‘We have just seen China and Japan must be just like “No it tsn't,"’ contradicted Jamie. Y've read that {t's quite different." | Alice and Jamie were both right. Yapan ts and it ts not like China, | Phe children reached the Land of Rising Sun when the country- was in a turmoil, for between the tenth and twentieth of September is petit quite EH — the time when the rice {s ripening Food. And in April they had honored fast and when thousands on thousands the River Goddess of Kofu, beseeching of little flags fan the fields of grain, that divinity to save their crops from keeping off the evil spirits and, it 18 the swelling torrents of the spring and hoped, the birds and insects who feed fall seaso! Then, on the elghty- on the crop. Alice and Jamie saw eighth day of spring, the rice had been this. They also saw the 4,000 kinds planted. One of the peasants sang of rice growing in the fields of Japan for Alice and Jamie the ta-ue-uta, and they saw the excitement of the rice planting songs that are sung farmers and their success of the crop. One of the names given to this country is Toyo-ashiwara-mizuha- no-kuni, which means ‘The fertile, reed-clad country, rich tn grain." happiness over the when the seed odd little songs, those we 5 The rice had been planted, watered, watched and cared for more tenderly {ssown, They are very nothing at all like At than a growing child, for the rice this time of year Japan surely merits crop ts all-important in Japan, where this name. agriculture is the chief tndustry and The children learned that in the the farmer (who never eats rice ex- cepting on feast days) uses the tiny white grains as we do money, He month of March the country "ad held festivals to Inar Stama, Goddess of streets to-morrow if it wouldn't be that his wife is a first class dress- maker?" Morris demanded. “Well, somebody has got to be In favor of it or not in favor of it, Ma v- russ,"’ Abe said. “And as you and me ai. several million other business men are too busy worrying about things which is happening right under our noses in our stores and factories, y'understand, how would the politi- clans know which way to jump if it wasn’t for the Sam Flachsmanns of the country?” SAM VOTED WET SALE. “But what sensible politician would BY WHOLE- sive a nickel for the opinion of a man like Bam Flachsmann?" Morris asked. “To my certain knowledge, Abe, t’ it feller has gone broke in the pants business, two stationery delicatessen business and a stores, & cigar stand, and do you suppose for one minute that what he says about the railroads, the Shipping Board or the foreign debts is going to have any weight with the politicians?’’ “Say!” Abe said, “what the Sam Flachsmanns of this country hus got to say about anything and everything from the running of the Federal Re- serve Banis upward, Mawruss, ain’t @ question of what I suppose for one minute. It's what the politicians sup- pose for twelve months out of the year, and particularly the months preceding every election day. This {8 a republic, Mawruss, and it ain't conducted on the principie of one successful business man one vote. It's @ strictly one man one vote prup- osition, whether the election is peing held by a city, a state or a weekly magazine, Mawruss, which I sup- pose, Mawruss, that you bought a copy of that weekly magazine which {s running the Prohibition and bonus election and sent in your vote, ain't itr “What do you mean—sent in my twelve iH, G4 All Aa vote?” think ['ve got time for such foollsh- ness right in the middle of our busy season?” “Well, that's the way it goes!" Abe said, “Sam Flachsmann not only sent Morris demanded. “Do you in his vote, but he also sent in his wife's vote, his little boy's vote, and voted four times more under an alias. In fact, Mawruss, if Sam Flachsmann and that weekly magazine could fix it between them y’understand, the country would go so wet by the mid- dle of next week that you would be able to buy a bottle of Old Glenlivet Vatted Highland Dew manufactured on Staten Island for anyhow three dollars a bottle. “Then no doubt whichever way this here magazine election goes, the side what gets the most of these fake votes would claim that the ‘County’ went Wet or Dry, as the case would be,” Morris suggested “Well, they could anyhow clatm that the magazine went Wet or Dry,” Abe said, “but any one who would go to work and open up a cafe with a full line of 44 per cent. whiskey and 6 per cent. beer asa result of his confidence in such a magazine election, Mawruss, would quick filnd out that while magazines could hold elections they couldn't hold criminal trials.” WE FORGET THE STRIKE, WE FORGET TO VOTE. “And they shouldn't ought to be allowed to hold elections neither,” Morris declared, “because if what you say is true, Abe, the politicians would figure that the Country wants what the magazine election decided, which it's bad enough that politicians should have their actions guided by what a faker like Sam Flachsmann thinks, but when It comes to the politicians being guided by what Flachsmann's wife and his little boy and his four aliases think, Abe, there should ought to be a line drawn somewheres, y'un- derstand.” “Still, I wouldn't get excited about this here magazine election being de- cided by a lot of repeaters like Sum Flachsmann, Mawruss,” Abe said, “because It aint’ going to change con- Gitions none. A loud-mouthed feller like Sam Flachsmann when he starts talk about public questions usually AUTUMN DAYS, The Autumn Days are here at last; The sky ts clear and bright; The trees their summer garb have cast And glorious s the sight. The busy squirrel his food doth store, The birds have flown away, And soon the flowers will be no more And short will be the day. Jack Frost with all his glory Will reign the winter through, Perhaps we will be sorry To bid him fair adieu. Then comes the lovely Springtime, Then Summer spreads her rays, Then comes the best of all time, It is the Autumn Days. By CECELIA MAYER, No. 856 Eastern Parkway, Brooklyn HOW TO JOIN THE KLUB. CUT OUT THIS COUPON. Beginning with any egg Mig Cay ae ea 204, Tit und “008 and mailto Cousin Blea: nor, Bvenin, die Ri Id Kid- 0. 68 Park * York City with’ @ note, in which sive your NAME, AGE and Please be careful to mention ity In which you live, but Klub, you. must ADDRESS. not only th Monit children up to sixteen years of a may become members. Each member presented with a silver gray Klub Pin and membership certificate. COUPON 993, pays his rent and often other debts In rice. Alice and Jamie found the Japan- ese peasants very pleasant and will- ing to tell the children all about their honorable country. The children learned that rice is one of the three important Japanese industries, The other two are silk and tea, Silk brings $100,000,000 int their country each year. Is there any wonder, then, that the peasants cil the silk worm O Ko Sama, ‘The hon- orale Mttle gentleman"? And that their greatest national festival ts to the the God of Hailstorms to save mulberry trees on the leaves of which the honorable little gentleman feeds It ts in thetr cities that China and Japan differ so, China is still con- tent with the old order of things while Japan ts wide awake industrially. Japanese cities are as gorgeous as the country sections are crude. Fs pecially beautiful is the sacred city of Nikko with {ts brilliantly colored temples and shrines. To guild these sacred shrines the Japanese used six acres (261,860 square feet) of pure gold leaf, The children left this sacred city rubbing their eyes “It 1s like seeing the wonders in the Arabian Nights tales,’ said Jamile, and he pinched himse if he were awake or dreaming, to see Wesley Barry’s Little Chunks of Wisdom. Wes Barry's Ten Commandments: (They have saved Wes many a lick- in’) guy's toes. then beat it. gar. shooter teacher, DON'T dive in shallow stream. on melon patch. DON'T play crooked with your pal. DON'T squeal. DON'T He to your mother, P, 8,—This ts on the level.— WES. —— “ AMMY,” said the little black boy. “Yes, chile," answered his mother. “Mammy, if you wus Jonah would you let the whale swallah you ?” “Guess [ couldn't help tt no more than Jonah could,"’ said his mammy. ould 1?" “Course you could, son “Why, Sugar, what things you do What put them thoughts into say! yo head?" “Teacher did," “Yo teacher did? prised at that,’ Well, sald his when yo teacher says in the Good Book? Teacher said that been ah a shark, any man or any boy either,"* “Ha! Ha!" laughed his mammy, “Did you ever see a whale, chile, and behold what a creature it is? Looks like it could swallah six Jonahs and their wives with ‘em,’ “I don't care what it looks Itke! What teacher says 1s true, und the next time I see a whale out yonder I'll go and jump on his back and ride 1 go up waves and the to Timbuctoo, We down waves and rock all oc ¢ over An boy plc waves and on the buck all over ocean k of a whale How to Make the Biack Boy Ride the outl! the Whale. cut-out te Paste When the the ca 's ary, cut aroun DONT step on abig DON'T think you're the only wise one. DON'T call names— DON'T try to smoke your father’s cl- DON'T use a bean- the a ‘T leave your tracks in a water I could. [ reckon anybody could," said her lttle Tm sur- mother. “What's the whole world coming to contradicts what it Lordy me!" Jonah was never swallahed by no whale; tt must ‘cause a whale's throat {s lots too smal! for to swallah this Is the way the little black tres himself riding “up waves the 1924. makes noise enough for anyhow five people, and whether be is giving his opinions In a magazine straw vote or Just by talking his friends to death, yunderstand, he is always a five times repeater, “In other words, Mawruss, every Merilmutter. coal strikes till we have finisned ship- Ping our fall and winter orders next October, “By that time, Mawruss, not only will the country have forgotten all about them strikes but you and me will also have forgotten to register, “HAS FINE TIMES MORE EFFECT ON THE POLITICIANS THAN FELLERS LIKE Sam Flachsmann of this country who couldn't make a living on account of spending all his time reading up tn the newspapers about public ques- tlons, has five times more effect on the politiclans than fellers like you and me who won't have a chance to read ten words about what President Harding's stand 1s on the railroad and of the t cut out, the toy been of When las the toy. YOU AND ME?” and the consequences will be, Maw- russ, that not only would President Harding have to be guided by the opinions of the Sam Flaschmanns, y'understand, but also, Mawrusa, the politiclans would have to look for votes to the Sam Flachsmanns who did register and not to the successful business men who didn’t.” VILLLLLILULL LLLP TULA THO TU TOTP HUTT TUL ILU LULL LLM A LILLE LLLL LLU LLANELLI _KIDDIE nda KCRNER- SATURDAY SPECIAL FEATURE . 1082, (New York Mvening World) by Presa Publishing Co, 222227202 Here’s Another Rocking For } ou WLLL LLL OT Bend the f Sea NCS. SGHORER a rg: w “Well, after all, it's our own fault.” “Bure it ia,” Abe agreed; “and we would deserve to get already fined oF something for it if It wouldn't oe that the country Is perfectly safe in the hands of the Sam Flachsmanns.” “What do you mean—perfectly safe in the hands of a schiemetl like that?* Morris exclaimed, “I suppose you will y next that our renty-five dollars is also safe in his hands?” “That's neither here nor there, Mawruss,” Abe said. “Sam Flachs mann’s ideas about the Flachsmann’s finances are his own, y’understand, but his ideas about the country’s finances, the railroad and coal strikes show he’s @ very conservative man, Actually, Mawruss, you would think from what Sam Flachsmann says about the Seniority rights of strikers that he would be at the very least the President of the Santa Fe Ratlroad. He 1s in favor we should cancel Bu- rope's indebtedness to us. So are most of the big bankers. He con- siders Franoe should ought to give Germany @ moratorio. So does Otto Kahn; and taking it by and large, Mawruss, that's the way it is with all the Sam Flachsmanns of this coun- try." “But you would think that a no- account feller like Sam Flachsmann would be very Socialistic on account of having nothing to lose by it except bis wife's dressmaking busine: Morris observed. “You would think Abe admit- ted, “but as a matter of fact, Maw- russ, the Sam Flachsmanns of the country is interested in too many big schémes like the German Indemnity, the running of the ratlroads and the funding of the Soldiers’ Bonus to be Socialists, y‘understand. In fact for the advice of a feller like Sam Flachsmann to have any weight at all, Mawruss, he should ought to be anyhow @ millionaire business man or banker. So therefore, Mawruss, the Sam Flachsmanns of the country have everything in common with the mil- lionaire business men and bankers of the country.” “Except the millions, the businesses and the banks,” Morris said. (Copyright 1922, by the Bell Syndicate, Inc.) CONDUC TED BY - da1100 - 339304; “SUN ps on the braces back either end. These wings should be along the dotted line and paste the pasted on the inside between the twe Bt % ‘This done, the sections of the tuy. flaps wi nN @ sort of wing on - ++