The evening world. Newspaper, September 4, 1922, Page 14

ews and G Good Evening ! By BIDE DUDLEY DAWGONNIT! WHAT'S THe. USE FIGHTING AGAINST AN ~ ' SEZ HIS NAME'S UNSEEN ENEMY ? IF I a Ane ' KEEP TRYING To RUN THAT PHIL FERRET, DETECTUFF: Guy DOwN IT MAY GEY pun Ferret ? L BOSS, A MAN T'SEE YA — You THOUGHT wrone ! PHIL FERRET NEVER GIVES UP! I'VE REcvERED Your STOLEN CAR——!) AN' \ HAVE A CLUE — COME AN’ LOOK IT OVER — (TS A TERRIBLE WRECK "! Joe's Nerves ARE BEGINNING To GRACK +! The postman has come and he's brought me a letter; { POEMS OF PREFERENCE | SUMP'N WORSE. “THAN A The handw ng’s shaky—it's] John Wilson, an electrician, wants Biack eve! VLE LAND “a tiner t merely a scrawl; a wife. He wants also to win the WoRRY OVER His TTHcuGHT T FIRED ty But still, to my notion, no pen-| £°!en-haired monkey gland offered STOLEN CAR HIM OFF TH'CASE! manship’s better as the prize in this contest. Concern- AND A TRIP To —_— ; af 7 ‘i . | ing the girl he would marry John Iv’s from an old lady who's , HE COOLER FoR has the following to say: CARRYING A GUN WEIGH HEAVY UPON HIM~ AND THE FACE AT “THE window SEEN BY FELIx “THE OFFICE Boy! feeble and small— A mother who loves me, a mother who's yearning To have me start homeward while she is still there; Whose thoughts and whose hopes to her boy are e’er turning— The boy for whom nightly she murmurs a pray’r. T want a girl whose face is fair, Adorned with pretty auburn hair. Her age? About sweet twenty-five, For then I'll know she’s quite alive. My friends say I'm the westest chap That ever lived on this we map. When told that I'm a single jay They say: “How did he get that hl STOLEN, @ The reason is, you'll plainly see, I'm hunting for a wife-to-be. If you can find her, let me know Oh, ta, la, ta, and away we'll go! It tells me her roses are just a bit tardy— The rain has been awful this year, mother writes; It tells me that Rover, the dog always hardy, Has Jately been hurt in some terrible fights. Never Thought of That! and Tessie was disturbed. There were a dozen milk bottles on her doorstep. Suppose the thief should steal these! “Hello, Tessie!" TH’ WIFE 15 GETTIN’ “RED, OF BEIN’ A°GOLF WIDOW =—T'LL HAVE 7D YES Honey — THERE TH’ BiG STARS —THERE'S OFCOURSE I DONT KNow \ ANYTHING ABOUT THE GAME — \ BuT 1 SEEMS VERY CowaRDLY BATH “TRYING To you it’s inane, gentle reader, Toady Allen, the handsome TAKE Mem oor asl enew Brewis, WAGE EVANS OF THOSE TWO MEN — To MIT I know it; vers, bad spoken MAKE AC FAN OUT Sock HUTCH: JONES, : HAT SMALL To me it’s a mighty sweet little The Polleéman, stood up. OF WH ove GAL! MILE HUNTER» SE | | ; ; : “Who took off my shoe?" he AU ANERELE affair. asked. He was a kindly fellow, “ | Some day I intend to just pack UP} a wee bit fat of stomach but not and go it at all unplayful, And visit the home place while “I did.” replied Tessie, defi i onl "5 es antly. “Why don't you wear 1 lI mother’s still there aint ND a0 Toady Allen turned and ran | OBSERVATIONS. seven blocks. He had been drinking squirrel whiskey and thought he was a runaway horse. (To Be Continued.) The Wellsville Optic speaks of a “pupular” dog. No wonder Bronx whiskey is called “emoke.” It's fire water. — An American society girl who did What Did You Lamp? Cope, 1922 (N. Y. Eve. World) By Press Pub, Lo, Ais cia the eae Spain arrived I saw a man approach another to- ‘ rom Hurope Saturday. day and whisper in his ear. Dudley Shallcross is a Providence| “say, nin” he said, “ve sot | LITTLE MARY MIXUP Trade Mark Reg. U. 8, Pat, Off trap-shooter. Sounds as if we were] hooch in my cellar; you've got coal. 4 t — SEI z : ae going abroad, eh? Let's exchange keys."’—Inveterate GY MARY, You BROKE & H\ i } G Gane DONT %& SHE? Render. WINDOW ~ Tou MUST BE MoRE CAREFUL WITH THAT BALL— Now IF WH I .LeT you OFF THis {ho Tie YOu MUST HEVER 4 4 Bo 1T AGAIN — If the newspapers are to be be- leved, Eddie Leonard, the minstrel, is to tour the West. Ah, lucky West! We understand Pop Price of the Morning Telegraph has written a book expounding the theory that it is scientifically safe to raise your enemy a dime on a pair of deuces. GET A GOOD SPANKIN: _ T LET You OFF, ONCE - = | AND Now Yeu VE Done NUTT'S DOPE, Sept. 8 will be our birthday and a movement has been started to have it celebrated throughout the city in a fitting manner, Jefferson Shrews- bury Nutt is in charge of the ar- rangements and he has written us as follows concerning his activities: | iT Was 4 DIFFERENT WER Timminy @/” I Busted Gg THE SAME “THhNe y aew oues | i AGAIN @ = ‘ SSSStssm 1) THING TAXICAB TESSIE. (A story that would melt a heart of stone.) Tessie took off the sleeping Policeman's shoes and tickled his toes. Why he should be thus resting on the promenade she did not know and we can't explain it. However, that is neither here nor there. He was sleeping on the sidewalk and Tessie con- sidered it an insult. Tne first tickle did not bring any noticeable response, but the next one caused a twitching of the third toe, or actomobilus practimobilus. A few more tickles and the man awoke. “Where am 1?" he asked. Tessie stepped behind a post ené made a noise like a wood- pecker. “The drums of fate!” said the Policeman. He stood up but did ot dare pace his beat with one shoe off. Of course it would fave a certain amount of shoe leather, but strange as it may seem, the Police Department does not want its patrolmen to appear for duty barefooted. “Ah, well!” said the man, as he put his shoe on. A dark form slipped into view from around a corner. Robberies had been frequent jn that district “Dear Dud—I and the wife are going to see that Dudley Day is the biggest thing New York ever knew. We have arranged to have a parade starting from the slaughter house on the East River, then down 48th Street to then south on Battery, the dog pound, Tenth Avenue to the hospital for contagious dis- The Poli Glee Club will sing ‘Send Dudley to the Chair’ each time the parade is halted by a traffic cop or a fight, and we're going to ask Mayor Hylan to ° make an address on ‘Why | Am Not a Candidate’ to the women and children at Washington Square, near the home of the late Tut Jackson. You will ride on the American Beauty float, dressed as Horatio Alger, the Greek phi- losopher. Be at the slaughter house early, but look out for that white bulldog next door. He bit me to-day—and that reminds me 48th Streét to her baby looked like a monkey. Much excitement, but could learn nothing.—Jeff.”” AND NOW PERMIT US to inform you that by actual count there are nineteen Rose Cohens among the stenographurs employed in the Wolworth Butlding. Cape 02 (N.Y, Bra World) By Press Pb. Co KATINKA You M10: BEFORE T'LL MARRY You, AND THE ONLY WAY To Do IT IS BY DIETING! THATS WHy I BOUGHT You TH. Book ! BUT 1 Must EAT MEALS OR Tu starve! EVERYTHING You EAT CONTAINS A CERTAIN NUMBER OF CALORIES! Now, A PERSON YOUR SIZE 15 ALLoweD 2250 PER DAY —OR 750 EACH MEAL! Now, A POUND oF ROAST BEEF CONTAINS! BOO CARIES - SO THOSE TWo SLICES ARE ALL You CAN HAVE FoR. SUPPER! She's A GOOD CATCH! ‘Trade Mark Reg, U. 6. Pat. Off. a. ‘Trade Mark Reg. U. 8. Pat. Off. WELL, SO LONG, KATIINKA = PLL BE AROUND IN THE MORNING To SEE THAT YOu FoLlow INSTRUCTIONS IN THAT Book FoR BREAKFAST eee ) Aw. T Dip NT | De THE SAME y BUT \T WAS ALL A MISTAKE- T WAS ONLY FOOLIN’ WHEN I PROPOSED - TROUBLE |S SWE CAN'T TAKE A JOKE T PROPOSED TO TILUIE THESIS BY MISTAKE AN' SWE ACCEPTED ME- TLL SEE WHAT BAB HAS "TO SAY WER FATHER GIVES HER $50,000 THE DAY SHE PLAN to avold conflict in the/1922,"" four Shubert Vaudeville units opening dates of new the-|‘*The Lady in Ermine," Eddie Cantor atrical productions is now in|in “Make It Snappy.” Al Jolson tn effect with the Producing Managers] “Bombo,"” McIntyre and Heath. in Association. A member selects 4] “Red Pepper,” an operetta trom the date to launeh his play and files it at| German entitied “Youth.” "The Pas the office of the organization. If he] ing Show of 1921," ‘The Rose of is first to file that date the others! stamboul” and a revue for which a take other dates. A. H. Woods bad! name has not yet been selectal selected Sept. 11 for the opening of! y, Shubert in director in chief, and ae eee acute bad miven | ®mong his assistants are J. C, Huf- dy, recognizing the rule, had given . . Hu Un plans for the premiere of “Dreama|™&2: Allan K. Foster, Charles sin- for Sale” on that date and had se-| Cllr, Frank Smithson, John Harwood, lected Sept. 18. However, Mr. Woods| Harold Atteridge, Jack Mason and Al postponed his premiere until Sept, 21,] fe Goodman so Mr Brady has gone back to Sept 11. Prior to entering on its run at the Playhouse “Dreams for Sale” will be seen in New London, Conn “MAN THAT TO GET RID OF Gossip. “The Passing Show of 1922" opens to-night at the Apollo Theatre, At- lantio City A SHUBERT FACTORY. Otis Skinner, his wife and daughter The Mesars. Shubert have been us-|have returned from Europe. Mr. anf fng the Century Theatre lately as a/Skiuner is rehearsing in “Mister An-|~ play factory. No less than twenty|tonlo.” a FOOLISHMENT, Frances Demarest has been engaged| ville units, “Plenty of Pep" and “suc- c in “The Goldfish,” now at the Shu-la hist rit @ special matinee performance peotoniene have been in rehearsal| “Suc Dear" begins its ninth week|for a part in “Re-united,” in which] cons,” are almost ready to begin, bert Theatro, will go to Chicago, Carey Willian 3 rris jr. may belof “A Betpent's Tooth" for den'ints There was an old girl in the By ome in the ‘past four weeks, andjat the Times Square Theatre to-day| Weber and Fields will appear, Apectal Labor Day matiness have addressed care Hudson Theatre Bulld- — WHA hated G0 Voce aaea kent ne wig Rt piled gay - wih a Patines, Fortunello and Cireillino, [tallan|beon arranged for nearly all the ANSWERS TO INQUIRIES, ing. PUT IT IN THE ACT. Bald she; ‘*I'm no fool, * tee lorraine es BA ation ee Saree jenna bas been engaged for] clowns, will be In the now “Greenwich||heatres in the Broadway District to-] Reader — We'd muggest that you — “Are you going to buy that circus?" | Aut 1 can’t atand a mule, cabanas pl ‘othe Passing Show of in . y in Brimino,” in| Village Follies, day, write Marion Sunshine, care “Dafty A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY, “Well, I've made them a tontutive| Them notees sound just Uke Lh 6 Bhow of which Hleanor Painter will appear. Max Bplegel's two Bhubert yuude-( After this week Marsorle Rambeau,| D111," Apollo Theatre, and ask her for! John Golien has about decided tol offer.” donka,”* 7" t f 5