The evening world. Newspaper, September 2, 1922, Page 12

_ tre | Theatrical News I saw the home team slipping; Up to the plate a batter came, A moment followed, gripping. He'd tried his hand before and failed, The crowd arose, it roared and wailed And calied him names like lagger, slacker; I breathed a prayer for him to smack ‘er. The lanky batter gripped his bat And fanned the breezes madly; They dubbed him “bum” and “boob” and “rat,” He tock their ravings sadly Right there I heard a youngster call, “Don't worry, ball!” ‘Twas then this man they'd called a lagger @onected for a clean three- bagger. Daddy, hit the I've got a little kid at home Who loves his thin old Daddy, And when my troubles start to foam I hug this tow-head laddie And tell him that I'm feeling blue. His kiss says, “Dad, they can’t lick you.” And then, like him they called a lagger, I knock 'em for a clean three- bagger. OBSERVATIONS. That Armour safe robbery made u eracking good story. Pigiron has advanced §2 & ton. Hope you laid in a supply before the Faise came. It is probably true that a day in an icebox will cure hay fever. You never saw a pork chop with hay fever, did you? A closed car exhibit is to be held at Grand Central Palace soon. How- ever, we imagine a way will be found to admit the public. A Jersey City man, suing for di- vorce, says his wife threatened him with a nail file, But that fact doesn’t furnigh the reason why good-looking manicurists are dangerous. TAXICAB TESSIE. (A tox trot song has been named for (his story. Don't fail to read it.) Tessie had about decided life was but a rude dream. When she was a gir! of eighteen Heo- tor Botts, a motorman, had told her not to take life too serious- ly, but she had thought he wi merely spoofing. Now, as 8) stood on the Brooklyn Bridge ready to drop into the Hast River she realized that he had spoken a mouthful. “Oh, would I had but believed Hector!” she moaned. A policeman approached. “Whatcha goin’ to do, lady?” he aske¢. “I was just thinking,” replied Tessie, as she poised herself on {POEMS OF PREFERENCE | Peppy O'Brien writes us as fol- lows: "I used to be a sandwich man, hut have graduated into a cake eater, and now I feel that I should wed. In sending you my rhyme I hope to win not only a wife but the sterilized copper-plated pansy as well,” Now for the rhyme: The girt I wed need not know how To feed a pig or milk a cow But she must have a tevel head And know the way to make a bed. I do not want a dancing fool And when I'm broke she must keep cool And say: “Oh, honey, don't feel bur, I'll borrow fifty bucks from dad.” the rafling, “that I'd try to get up a bridge game." “Oh, chuckle sald the police man, It was an unconscious joke Tessie had perpetrated, How ever, the man represented the law and she did not care to be considered a criminal, A smile came over her face as she said: “Good morning, cop!" At that moment a dark form was seen slipping along the walk, Tessie did not know It, but the form was Toady Allen, the handsome yegg or a long time Toady had suspicioned that ‘Tessie would try to jump off the bridge, or over it, and he had come to save her. “I am here, Tessie!” Toady had spoken was soft. Tessie was angry. With a quick movement she snatched the cop's false whiskers off. It was as she suspicioned. He was Inspector McGluke, the man who had dropped dead in her apartment the day before. Just then the telephone rang. It was a friend who suggested that Tessie read the new novel, “Ten Winter Bums,” (To Be Continued.) His voice A Lost Locomotive. A news story in yesterday's papers told of a train that was wrecked when it hit a bridge, weakened by a flood, It brought to our mind a most unusual occurrence of years ago, Out in Kansas, on the old Kansas Pacific, now a part of the Union Pacific Sys- tem, an engine went through a weak- ened bridge and landed in a creek which, prior to heavy rains, had been nothing but a dry streak of sand. The rains, however, had converted it into a raging torrent running over quicksand. To this day the engine has not been found. It disappeared in the sand, taking the engineer and fireman with it. Thirty-8ix hours later the creek was dry and calm again. Just where the engine is lo- cated nobody knows, This story can be substantiated by the old records of the Union Pacific, An Improved Couple. Wanted—A furnished room by a young couple with all improve ments,—Wells Optic. AND NOW PERMIT US to inform you that Howard Hick- man, playwright, has notified us that a dry dock is a physiclan who refuses to issue Volstead prescriptions. About Plays HE Threshold Playhouse hes mapped out its schedule of one-act plays for its coming @eason. These will be staged: “The se —~Blue and Green Mat of Abdul Has- wan," by Constance G. Wilcox; “VFifty-Fifty,"’ Sy Hardi Barron and exon Cone; “There Twain Shall Meet,” by Violet Allen Story; ‘‘Fear,” Miser," by Elfrida and Clarence Dar- ; “The Man Without a Head,” by Lioyd F. Thamhouser and Thoma: J. Foster jr.; “Requiem,” by Henry Albert Phillip; “Wings of Fulfill- ment,” by May Emery Hall; “Waves of the Sea,” by Evelyn Emig wa 5. ~hy Jane Dransfield, and “Just Nelgh- orly,” by Alexander Dean. HOW ‘BOUT IT, GILRAT Gtida Gray, we hear, has devised @ new dancing number which she ealls “Heel and Toe and Away We Go." Wonder if Gilda ever saw “The Little Tycoon?" A BENEFIT AHEAD. William Morris has arranged to ‘© a benefit performance at the ington Theatre Sunday night, Oct. 8, to raise money for the Sara- mac Lake Day Nursery and Com- Munity Club. Harry Lauder, wil close = week's engagement at Phat theatre on Oct. 7, has consented and Players to appear, and the rest of the bill will be made up of acts presented by American stars, THE DANCING OPERATOR. We used to be a telegraph opera- tor, Billy Shaw (it girl) once worked the key, too, Now go on with the story, We were in Murray's the other night. Miss Shaw leads a revue there and, at one point in the enter- tainment, she did a dance to the music of “Smile, Forget," from “Sue, Dear.” Suddenly we realized Miss Shaw was signalling us. Oh, It wasn't with her volce—tt was wit! her heels, She was tapping out “Oh Dud!" tn the language of the tele graph, and doing it in perfect rhythm, too. We took a knife and tapped on a plate, “I, Dud," which Is the way operators answer calls. Then Miss Shaw's heels said: “How is the King of Coney?” Again we took t knife and-—excuss us «a moment please, We're wanted on the ‘phone and {t may be a mweet lady. GOSSIP. Harry Fender and have been engaged for Ermine."’ Gal Fleury of Wires" has decided to American oltizeness, John Birch, known socially as “The Man With the Hats," has a new Walton he Lady in “Whispering become an ep i = os MERRY MKuP| Coo 028 (N.Y. Eve World) By Pr Pa Ce MO a i KATINKA ‘rade Mark Reg. U. 8. Pat, Off If She’s an Example—Help! You'Re GONNA Follow Ts THE WOMEN ARE GONG WiLD over) 7 ~ = a ~ Slis ) OM Goi : Noupoon = = | Book BEFORE LrAEey yeu. WRAL aLe TRE RGURE OR } / [How Do Mrs ow Boot (Tat tADY i SusT \ Eee) | Krazy T WANT A WIFE, ; TH oT Eo) "How To STAY THIN"-tre THe s~ | |PHAFFITT! | SAID HELLO To 1s ( | KRAx va the Map." evs, opens {ts season Monday un- [Introduce to-night in * 1|pators orchestras. The Monday night |do tt, anyway , ne Gene Buck, after « month of seri-[der the direction of Ralpi & Cum-| Girl" at the Earl Carrol! Theatre lwnoing ons will be resumed ‘ You should have learned to stich: 7 ous tinea, ts Pact at Ma home tn {mings A special dancing . with | labor Day evening FOOLISHMENT. cake. aid + ireat Neck getting wel hat'e| ida Kramer has been added to the|gouvenirs, will be held at the Te:- T knew PUT IT IN THE ACT = a : ; f hi 1 new a girl named Jesete Blake, ' fine cast of “Abte's Irish Rose” at the|race Garden Dance Palace Monday| A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY. y "1 : ; Mondy a Proposed to her over the Wig Kay Laurell will have the chief role] Republic ‘Theatre. Taee aero er hare will ve coatiouous| Just aa favor we're going to aak|, "nee father Aad g stomach ache | oy yan ee CONT EMP BABA in Ss ee Not AN OFFICE Burvine ! SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 2, 1922 ening World Comics The Ev JOE’S CAR me Our on PAL, oS Joe RETURNS To His OFFICE DETERMINED To Pursue THe MYSTERIOUS STRANGER THE ENDS OF “THE EARTH — (FE ONLY HE QAN GET ONE LITTLE CLUE AS To THE VILLIAN'S IDENTITY ! AS GETS KNOCKED FoR ASTOUNDING | 1 Buy A cAR — IV'S LOCKED ~No KEY - SOMEBODY KNOCKS ME ON ~TH' BEAN: AN) ROBS TH! BILL OF SALE ~1LHiRE — MY DETECTIVE A GOAL. SAME | AND WHILE UM IN JAIL FOR PACKING A GUN They STEAL Ss WHAT DOES fT OF TECT WE ME “THE CAR —— THE BIG LITTLE FAMILY ———=. Nol tS MY PRooFs’ FRom THe Wat THAT ANOTHER PL ae mary, I came (wa FRom MRS WEBSTER S PARTY wWiTHouT MY UMBRELLA _ OVER AND GET IT FoR Me ~ WiLL You? “IT'S RIE Tite PoRcH = AWAY , TRON HT ON: ALL MEAN — Copr, 1922 (N. Y. Eve. World) By Press Pub. Co. Trade Mark Reg. U. 8, Pat. Oft. 54 3 dus) TGET ONE CRACK AT That Guy! ONCE L GET MY FINGERS AROUND ; MISTER JINKS - A GUY PHONED AN’ SED HE'S “Ta MAN WHAT STOLE Your. ' CAR — AN' HE SED “Tete lve -“RaRZBERRY!” | “ ' , () HLo. HLO OPERATOR, ILL GIVE You FIFTY DOLLARS IF You'LL TRACE Ty'CaAut “HAT Just CAME IN HERE !!! _Vitlaa, “G It’s So Good It’s Bad! By Press Pub. Co. {= a8 Mark Reg. U. 8. Pat. off. Copr. 1922 (N. Y. Eve. Worl HoRRIBLE ISNT IT 2° BUT A VERY GooD y LIKENESS © ‘Trade Mark Reg. U. S. Pat. Off, RAT ABTS TTR ! HEY Mom ¢ THeee WAS LOTS | QUMBRELLAS 4T \ THE PARTY— CME | ON OUT ON THE Pore - ay Teu me | WHICH ts | TD Rare @ scHoon amp} STUDY THAW Go TS came wine THE Bey scours == —~ += BOW Worms] TAearBuy a sua TMM iny — —-| some Parry LOOKOUT THE L OMBRELLAS — 7 WHICH IS Moms’: < eee “Sen & WORLD! GREATEST HELP IN THe THE AUTHOR oF (THAT Boor! 5 BEAUTIFUL BAB (BUT WONNE, £ DONT] BAB-YOU LOOK GREAT \ \N RET ~T CALL EET MY “SURPRISE GOWN, sf SEE THE “SURPRISE® -LOOKS MIGHTY SWEET TO ME I DUST LOVE THIS FROCK OF YVONNE SO PRETTY AND SIMPLE - MAYBE POP WILL BUY ME ONE LIKE {T BY GOLLY, ITS A PEACH-AT LAST YOU'VE GOT SOME CLOTHES ON FOR A CHANGE = YOU BET YOU CAN WAVE ONE JUST MIKE IT YES, THAT'S WHY © LiKe er TOO, PoP - (T'S SO MODEST udeville act called ‘Phe Man "Mr. Dancer,’ when the wih stock mpany at the Warburton Theatr, The Ginghamette ts the name of a in his name. The printers usually It's that there ple, new dance which Bot mented D: Palace Creole Syneu- free dancing to the music of the aug-| Donald Gallaher to put the ‘'g"’ back Said sre: “Oh, my! ment ring, eh?’ wees