The evening world. Newspaper, August 3, 1922, Page 24

| { tr By BIDB Good Evening 1 DUDLEY A little old woman who lives 0 er] the way Sits out on the stoop of her home ev'ry day She smiles rather sadly * who pass by, And once in a while there's a tear in her eye She seems to be dreaming a sad little dream While scanning the people who pass in a stream. One day | grew brave and | stopped and asked why “I'm waiting for Jimmy came her reply at those then I went on my way and the post- man I saw 1 asked him about her; saitl he “Oh, that's Maw Her name is O’Brien and Jimmy her pet Went over to France and he's over there vet They've told her he's dead, but she has one reply ‘I’m waiting for Jimmy; he'll come bye and bye.’ ” That night, I'll admit it, I said a pray’r small For Mother O'Brien; God bless her—that'’s all. OBSERVATIONS. Another thing we're thankful for is the fact that we're not in the pie business. ‘ A reader writes us to ask waere ¢remation originated. We presume it was in Berne, Switzerland An iceman who stole a diamond ring was arrested yesterday, They put him in the cooler. A new life saving station has been established on City Island. Wonder what brand they're serving! O'Malley says Colgan “didn't keep on the job." Maybe; but he's been pretty busy since he was fired. LAUGHING LENA. (Some women are like cantaloupes—de- “eeitful.—Betts.) Lena Skoop was a philoso- pher. She bad received twenty- one proposals of marriage from Archibald and had been digest- ing them mentally, After tue twenty-first she dfopped in a chair and said to herself: “I believe that man wants to marry me.” As she ruminated, with her head in her hands, Dearing the barber game romping up. “I suggest,” he said, “that we play drop-the-handkerchief.” Lady Hotchkiss frowned. “What's the matter with this ton- sorial artist?” she whispered to Grocer Hoskins. “Oh, he's just playful,” the grocer replied, *Wham!" Something had struck the outside of the store. The soci- ety ladies rushed to the window to observe. Archibald stuck bis head out the door. An auto had ait the building. ‘The driver, an Englishman, came in the store. He wore white spats. “Why the spats?” asked Lady Hotchkiss. “T could find but one sock this morning,” he replied, “so I left both off and wore spats.” ‘The reply appeased Her Lady- ship, but not so with Lena. She regarded it as suspicious. Bare [POEMS OF PREFERENCE | Mr. Harold MeNally, who lives ip Brooklyn, isn’t much of a poet but he is a sincere lover, we imagine. And he wants the velvet-lined oyster opener, the prize in this contest, to use cracking hickory nuts and jokes So he has written us a poem, as per follows My girl must be small and fair, With lots of black or blonde hair She must wear skirts to a certain height My And not paint up to look a sight She must love not flirt, Or I'll just leave her in the tureh This lovely girt I would like to find, But 'twillebe hard to get one of her kind. Harold me dear and must feet had no place in her order of things Tae society ladies joined hands and did a ring-around-a rosy, with the Hnglishman in the centre. This in itself was enough to cause him consider- able embarrassment. “Bloody nice!” he said Hearing the word “blood,” Lena crept forward. At that point a fat woman came through the door. “Whee!” yelled the fat one. Lena rushed to the telepaone and called up the City Dump. (To be continued.) Begging Your Pardon! Speaking of being important, well, just glance our way, please. We may not be as handsome as F. P. A nor as winsome as Heywood Broun, but there must be something about us that works on the masses. Why, over in Brooklyn recently the Young People's Foolish Club met and quar- relled about the pronounciation of our first name. Hah Koorbusch has described their battle in rhyme. Are we proud, well, just look: The other night some friends of mine Were arguing about your name. The way they punished it, friend, Was just a crying shame. Says Marty, with a knowing wink At me as I was called aside: “Aren't you aware that Dudley guy's First name is really Bide?” dear Thenespaketh Willie Cunningham, A very earnest little kid “I heard on good authority That Dudley's name is Bid.” “You're all way off,” says Burne, Who goes on her vacation Friday, “T knaw about that Eveworld guy, His Christian name is Bidy.” Anna And so it goes with your trick name, It's got the whole darned office treed. They call it “Bide” and “Bid” and “Bi,” While I pronounce it “Bede.” Oh, tell us, handsome writing man, Just where the accent ought to be. Tf yowll do this we'll all join hands And sing @ song of glee. Usually we are called “Bide’— Jong “I” as in Long Island, while the “EB” is sileat as in “coal strike.” However, Miss Byrne is right in a Ladies often call us “Bidy,” but it’s a pet name, hod dog it all! AND NOW PERMIT US ‘To ask if Jack Hazzard were broke, could he be called Haz- zard Short? way. » ~@ RTHUR HOPKINS will open the A season at the Plymouth Thea tre with a play by Don Marquis ‘entitled “The Old Man." It 4s built ‘Around the column conductor's char- ‘ieter, The Old Soak. Harry Beres- has a cast of popular burlesque enter tainers. SHE WOULDN'T CARE, Maurice Holland, Juvenile in ‘Sue, ford will have the title role Dear," at the Times Square Theatre, . — has received three ‘mash’ notes so MIKE AT IT AGAIN. far this week, One of them satd Mike Goldreyer is to do some more| “Don't be afraid to drop in some producing. With a friend named|time. If my husband should object Mindlin he has arranged to stage “/you may beat him up. He ts a big play called “The Warning,” by/ fellow but can't fight.” "Thoma Falion, based on Wads-| Mr. Holignd hasn't decided to call worth mp's novel, “The House of} on the jady iFear.’ Robert Edeson, Anne Masi Marion Lord, Henry Mawbray and ‘Clarence Derwent have been engaged ‘for the cast. Watch that boy, Mike; he's a comer. BROADHURST'S FIRST. Broadhurst will open the Broadhurst Theatre on Sept. 7 with 9 play by himself called “Wild Oats Lene.” Maclyn Arbuckle is the fea tured member of the cast. COLUMBIA OPENS AUG. 14. ‘The regular season at the Columbia Theatre wi!! open Monday afternoon, Aug. 14, with a new eat ated called George he ‘ RUMOR SAYS— That John Golde the control of a thi That Dan Dawsc may, take over tre may be seen in sulger will end its New York run and go to Boston on Labor Day That Colgate Baker has a seven- teen-year-old daughter who will make her mark in musical comedy That Dixie Hines has an ambition to go to Japan and act Aumlet A GOLF STORY. William Collier entered thegyriars a ical News and Gossip _ ET NAT ETT i Evening World Comics oe. THURSDAY, AUGUST 3, 1922 a The | | JOB’SSGAR 4 b m %. tet Mon , & DROP ON TH \ TRAY = 1 Take MY HAT OFF TO MYSELF For THE WAY I DITCHED THAT DARN AUTO SALESMAN YESTERDAY! I WISH Tost BIRDS WOULD KEEP AWAY FROM \ MY House 5 ny an oe OH - surFeriny’ TOMCATS t!! t oS “ht ( _ QUICK -YouR FRIEND Mayon CEMENT" 15 OUT ON THE CoRNER ARGUING WITH A Bum § DawGone! \ = (IMAGINE A MAN OF HIG STANDIN’ To BF BATTLIN’ WITH TAS RAINING ( AND We Have i No UMBRELLA, = ETT Loony Want | » To sPon My | ‘ NEW DRESS .. NOT Me RUN For THaT store |/ KATINKA Lisse BUSINESS To ARGUE WITH THe COOK, BUT IF You FEEL LIKE STARTING A FRONT Door —HE ALWAYS 1479 LEAVES FoR HIS OFFICE "| AT ‘Ei@ur THiety) Come” AWAY | We Re MILES | FROM ttome - YA \NHAT IN THE N HERE, BOSS~— IT ISN'T A MAN'S. | AGAIN AND THE NEXT GIRL THAT'LL} SERVE You witt BE A NURSE! / } DEBATE, Be PREPARED | To SPEND Your } SSO SUMMER ON A COT f T rere 1 \ {YELL ALL YoU WANT- EC STiLL) | | INSIST THAT BOvILLON WASN'T SEASONED! } You MAY BE A Good COOK BUT T THINK T \ HAVE A SENSE BLONDE LADY Taste! s— OF WELL ,- ER- JUDGING FROM The Coroner Will Decide the Winner Gosy.— 11's GETTIN 7'8e A QUESTION OF ENDURANCE! N.Y. Jorid) By Press Pub. Co. And Then a Second Row Started! MASOR — REMEMBER )¢ THAT || 1 SAW YOU GABBING s1REET, Tee ; COME BEAUTIFUL BAB YESTERDAY SAW THE LAST OF BAB'S HORSE-YOU WILL REMEM| Club last nard owl Georgi He was when he re John Pollock like Dr. J However WELL YOu CAN'T THE THIS! - POP'S SORE AS THE DEUCE OVER THE BILL T RAN UP AN' INSISTS THAT T COME HOME J AMEDIAT EY FOR PUNISHMEN’ “S HOW PETTY OF KIM TO KICK UP SUCH A RACKET OVER A MEASLY FIFTY DOLLARS !!- I SIMPLY REFUSE To ~ Bre WOME 9 MOTHER ~SAYS A NEXT BOOR DOCTOR WAS TUST MOVED NEW YOUNG TQ YOU , UTTLE FURT— 1 ru Let You TASTE SOMETHING ELSE! » REMEMBER SobY water |/ TLt IT stops ¢ Wid Me, (KppzT) Keak. Now He’s IN the Soup! Ber | sf OMe | * PEOPLE ARE So pune THEY THINK, A BRIEF CASE ISA JSUMMER ROMANC CA BiAWe West, NA ws TO WIRE MY DAD THAT I'LL BE RIGHT HOME night and met Sam Ber- Gossip. the Fulton Theatre by Edward Royce Louis Hirsch is writing the music| Will be called “Orange Blossoms Haveryon heoa Iatelyi le “iene arcereien vii f ‘ A. L. Erlanger i having the Gaiety he asked ¢ te Greenwich Village Follies.” | pheatre entirely renovated and redec thinking orgie Price,] James C, Morton will head the cast| orated. It in vally ve addressed | of the Weber-Friedlander Shubert] Charles Dilling very much] 4, Ne . », | Money.” Lewengood Vaudeville unit, “Steppla’ Around gam Doyle has heen engaged by nothing came of it, The “rst production to be made at ky ours Gordon as leading woman in a special company’ presenting “The Cat and the Canary.” Lee Shubert will open “Fools Er- ra on Aug. 21 at a theatre to be innounced ater. It will not be played nut of town firs “Blossom Tim to have new costumes throughout when it reopens tt the Ambassador Theatre Mondi f BY A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY. Odd MelIntyre FOOLISHMENT. 1 Chinaman, washing a shirt Insisted his feelings were hurt comes from a town called Galipolis, and yet he told us a funny joke recently about Kankakee When Mary Ann Brown, The belle of the town Said, “Gosh, you're a turrible fiyt.? PUT IT IN THE ACT. \ lover is like a tailor.’* Yeah—-when? “When he presses his -sulte'{-Bel