The evening world. Newspaper, July 28, 1922, Page 18

By BIDE Good He wrote a story ev'ry week } And sent it to a magazine; | The neighbors thought the man a freak— | The strangest freak they'd ever seen The mail brought all his efforts back, Each yielded a rejection slip; Of manuscripts he had a stack, Which grew with ev'ry post- man’s trip. He wondered why he couldn't land, His style was good, his plots were new ; Real English was at his command And yet his stories wouldn't do. He read the works of other men To see wherein his weakness lay, But nothing from his busy pen Seemed of the sort for which they pay One night he met a chorus girl, The two eloped, the knot was tied; It set all Broadway in a whirl, The papers sent it far and wide, “A Noted Author Weds,” said they. Her picture was in great de- mand, He sold to magazines next day A dozen tales he had on hand Observations. “Coal Prices Soar."—Newspaper headline. But wait till you sce the consumers next fall. Benny Leonard retains his tile. New York World. Can it be that’Ben battled with his hat on? Why commit suicide when you can enlist in the army and become an army flyer? ‘ Marguerite Waltz, a Philadelphia Policewoman, is supervising the street dancing over there. Read ‘t again. We suggest that Leonard and Ten- @er co out West and fight forty-five founds next time. What a joke a twelve-round battle is! ‘ LAUGHING LENA. neceasary to the averages ly love brings true hap i) Si.) Lena got out the dominoes. “Let us play this game of blocks,” she said to Archibald, who was in no mood to palaver. “Why block the game?” asked Dearing, the barber. Lady Hotch seldom given to mirthful abandon, just had to laugh. “How playful was her comment. The rain began to fal! and the ‘dark clouds cast gloom into Lena's heart. She had come to the store to ferret out the {den- tity af the scoundrel who had kicked Grocer Hoskins, but as yet no clue had she found. Gro- cer Hoskins was impatient “It was some time ago that I was kicked,” he said petulantly. “Ding!” The barber again had attacked the cash register. In it was the fortune of the grocer, and his son, Pudge, had not been paid his weekly wages. It looked like an impossible situation, strained barbers are!” DUDLEY POEMS OF PREFERENCE. | \ctinannieiidinenisiniemnansiainitenatiacatansas? J. Slader of Bronxville seeks & wife, but he will not wed any old girl at all. In entering this com- petition for the velvet-lined oyster opener he submits the following rhyme: 1 want a girl whose eyes are blue, Whose hair is like pure gold. She must be sweet, she must be true, &he must not be too old. When such a girl I chance to sce, We'll marry on the spot. ‘Twill make no difference whether she Can carn my keep or not. in the extreme. Did Dearing mean to rob that cash register? Who could teil? Archibald looked at Lena, and she looked right back. “I have stood enough,” said he. Lena rushed to the radiophone. With one twist she turned on the entertainment from WSDKX station. A bedtime story was being told. “Little Pidgy Widgie had a doggie,” a man's voice said. Lady Hotchkiss coughed. Some- thing flew from her mouth. It was Grocer Hoskins's lost nickel. “Ah, ha!” said Hoskins Lena drew her automatic. (To Be Continued.) this long A Doolittle Rhyme. Ellabelle Mae Doolittle, the Delht poetess, has sent us a rhyme en- titled “Oh, How Disgusting!” We think it quite a thing. What do you think, mob? I'm dreaming of the home of my birth, When I was a Uttle child, The old dog is lying by the door, Through which the sun smiles. But one thing mars the picture, It gets me with fury aroused. I sce the hitching post so old, And father hanging to it soused. Mother used to go to the door And say: “Peter, you are drunk.” And frequently doubled up her fist And into his countenance it sunk. I have never liked drunkenness In any form, do believe me. I hope I never see Mr. Dudley full, For it would, very much grieve me. Yesterday I saw upon the street A very drunk individual. “Alas,” I said, “what a pity! He is probably habitual.” T did not stop but hurried home. Indeed, I almost dashed. Dreaming of Peter P. Doolittle Being by mama smashed The Wellsville Wit. Macy Hendricks says he notices the strike of the New York tailors has been brought to a clothes.— Wellsville Optic. AND NOW PERMIT US to call your attention to the fact that Otto Fix is the proprietor of an automobile repair shop at Freeport.—E. H. Hammond. plans for the coming season. He will produce plays American Writers only. His list includes come- dies by Winchell Smith ven, Austin St Jom GOLDEN is announcing his by Frank Cra- Viola Crothers Shore, Montague . Arthur Rich- man, John Tainter oote,, Mrs. Chris topher Wyatt, Hale Hamilton, Frank | Bacon, Tom Cushing and Vincent { Lawrence. Two hundred and twenty- yers are under contract to mong them being Frank ng } Racon, Marie Tempest, Frank Craven, | G La Rue, Hale Hamilton, Tom| Edgar Selwyn is due to reach New | Wise, Helen Menken, George Gaul,] York from Europe to-day. He has | °, W. Graham Browne, Bobby} been abroad gathering theatrical ma i Milt id Dolly Nobles, | terial for Selwyn & Co, His return Jeffe John W. Ransome, | '™ plans will start) im ee! noe ee the ar Murphy, Thomas W. Ross, Ida St.|tin Brown's play, and Leon, Harry Davenport, Banks Win-] Channing Pollock's "The Fool,” ter, Bessie Bacon, Ray L. Royce, Maude Grang Madge Kenne Anne Sutherland and A new and as yet unnamed play by Wincheil Smith is scheduled for the Little Theatre in November Tw wew plays by Frank Craven are manned. One is “Spite Corne Wnich Madge Kennedy will be and the other is “Early to Bed," in which Chic Fale will be seen Marie Vempest will be seen in a repertoire af new comedic The first, “A Ser pet's ‘looth,’ witl n at Lo Brance ! “beventh Heaven," i by A ng; "Moni by Mrs, Wyat Come, Easy Go," by Mont » € Glass; “Happy New Year," Viola Brothers Shore; “Blister About Plays and Players » | he Jones," by John Tainter Foote, and “Thrills,” by Vincent Lawrence, are others soon to be staged, Tom Wise will star in “Three Wise Fools;' Vrank Craven will go to Chicago in ‘The First Year:" Gregory Kelly and Ruth Gordon will h any in “The First ¥ will be three “Lightnin’ headed by Frank Bacon, Milton Nobles and Thomas Jefferson, In all Mr, Golden will send out twenty com panies EDGAR SELWYN HOME. ANDERSON IS BUSY, John Murray Anderson has returned from Atlantic City and is stacing the new “Greenwich Village Vollies."" When that revue has been produced will concentrate on « musical comedy has written in collabo! , jtion with Frederick Isham and Augus- tus Barratt, He plans to go to London and produce a musical comedy about Christmas time “TANGERINE” AGAIN. Julia Sanderson and the rest of the New York "Tangerine” . Company will open a three weeks’ engi the Casino on Aug follow, ement at » With Boston to 1M a Ging med : Oy 1922 (N.Y. Eva. World) By Press Pub. Co. THE BIG LITTLE FAMILY JS GOSH! iF it staRTED RAINING TEN DOLLAR GOLD PIECES UNCLE AL BROUGHT US IN A Hick FRESH CHICKEN FROM “THE COONTRY - WILL You DRESS IT KATINKA "D BE How come! THouGHT You WERE “TH BEST OF FRIENDS —LIL’ PALS Like ? WELL ,WHY WOULDN'T T CRAB ? They'RE SELLING RED TUSES AT 2.50 — THINK OF IT The Evening World Comics WHY DON'T y'Buy A ser? WoT HAPPENED TO BUST UP SUCH WOoNDERFUL FRIENDSHIP # WELL ‘Y'SEE- IN SALARY — I HAD TH’ Boss GIVE HIM A RAISE BECAUSE T DON'T KNOW WHAT 4 CAR I'm Gonna Buy tt S50 HE CourDd GET “married! SURE. T Have TS SCALD HIM Good Gerore T can DRESS HIM — Here crlicved . LET Co Your YEEATHERS ~ —,. —. HEY Mon. HULDA ISNT SRESSIN’ THe CHICKEN LiKe You SAID - 'TiaT WAS A GooD IDEA You GAVE ME ABOUT [ra ING UP SOCIAL WORK, KATINKA — VE GOT A Post ALREADY THE SUPERINTENDENT OF THE JINSANE ASYLUM IS GOING ON A VACATION, AN’ I'M TAKING His nisi ra ia PUACE so Do ME A FAUOR AND LOOK UP AN OLD) BEAU OF MINE THERE. POOR FELLOW LOST HIS MIND OVER ME S YEARS AGO, AND 1 WANNA SEE How He's Coing th : Ss ERA DRINKERHOER. Ferdie’s Low in the e Wrong MIxXUues een bts! ASH YOue Han, Beroee su coe 78 DNHER- ITS Mice 16 ear wird Diary Hands Chomtes scarred A®our THE Roo: SOME ONE ELSE WILL PICK THe, up — TU AGEr eve, BRookyn . ees SEND & Merny MitoP as MARY Mixur. Social Scale! HELLO Lovie! Your OLD GIRL ASKeD ME To FIND OUT How ES, MISS BAB -I'M LEAVIN’ TOWN FOR A FEW DAYS ~ YOU ae USE MY pee SYOU RE THE ~ DEAREST SWEETEST) George Ha land to-mori next Winter G 1 + Charles Dillingha ; word from in Paris, sa Lewis Spal Ed Wynn in “Lhe Perte t Fool,” died rome -BUT ONLY ON THE CONDITION THAT YOU TAKE GOOD CARE. OF HIM AN' FEED HIM in Mlatbush. | been eng turned from] the new hearsing | Writz uced by A.| for “Ke In I to wear] Mite new | Maj of Comedy" He says] have a valet Helen M ty Archibald, WELL, I TOLD YOu T'D GET A HORSE, TUBBIE YES, BUT YOULL ONLY HAVE HIM 2, FOR ADAY OR TWO Mon will mont oper Theatr Il be moved ite Theve Dreu, Whe started “ew, A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY, Volney, Harton of Wellsville, always CAME 1 Wuz NAPOLEON ! Me KRAZY | KRAX BY HucH DE MARCHE. 318 & Sey NE Bore PEOPLE ARE So DUMB YHEY THINK THE UNION SOLDIERS FouGHT FRom APS et @ fiRsT ®@ FOOLISHMENT a 6 you to make sone named home The mizer was loaded, 1nd then it exploded, They plant him nert Sunday at & PUT IT IN THE ACT. ‘He was crucity te nimals.”* What did he do," “Bottled cats-up.'* charged with > Ol