The evening world. Newspaper, July 24, 1922, Page 19

FOLLOWING MARK TWAIN An Innocent Abroad Everybody’s Always Crossed the Ocean Before Except You By Neal R. O’Hara 9 (New York Evening World) by Press Publishing Cotnpany. Copyright, 1 You Meet Professional Globe Trotters, Professional Seasick- ness Dodgers and Professional Liars on Board. STILL AT SPA, July 17.—One of the hardships of crossing the Atlantic te that, you are always the on!y passenger that's making his first trip over, There {s always sume guy that is making his forty-first or fifty-third cross- ing, and the rest of the passenger list has been over and back not less than half a dozen t!mes, Everybody but you has made more Atlantic and Pacific trips than the. aro tea stores, Did you ever meet a native of Wiscasset, Me., or Bird Creek, Kan., that didn't know whore to buy a drink on Broadway? Well, they've got ‘em on sea as well as on land. No matter what hick passenger you're buzzing with, he's a!ways seen the ocean when {it was rougher, or calmer, or wetter, or maybe something else. Which is a neat way of introducing the fact that he's an old-timer at ocean trotting. When Columbus shoved off for America all the boys In his crew were doubtless bragging of the time they went across with Lief Ericsson around 1000 A. D. If you want to grab prominence on a big beat like this, just admit you've never seen Burope except on post: cards. All the passengers wil! point you ont and say, ‘That guy there ts making his first ip across."* Just fancy! Next to bi have never b s that have made a Iifetime of seagoing are the guys that n sick. Also gals, No matter how many meels they miss at the table, they're never suftering from mal de mer—which is table d'hote for being awfnl seasick. They havea cold, a bunion or a touch of asthma if they're A. W. ©. L. from mess. But they globe trotters get that way ever seasick! Only amateur But being a2 innocent abroad or an innocent afloat stil! has it compensa tions, The stewurde make you feel that you're Lord Nort aaliffe yuys swing a mean sense of service! Boy, those They are valets, chambermaids and waiters rolled into one and polished off with a Rritis you think you're ridinw on top of the a $5 or $10 tip accent. They make world and you square yourself with The tipping comes your last day abou makes Mig stewards feysional gamblers. They give you «wee \ mn New Y bourg und gamble that the boat doesn't sini en r and the ship gors ward, and n ork to Chere ything happens down yourself Every morning they lead off with ve tat ve going abroud seems tu be to get plonty of sean and wakes 1 8A. Mound announces your batt Laleinie-enee'te it with “broth your tawth lke it was en insteal of every Saturday nicht th che y going to dle clean! Don’t kid you spire tial Lots of parseugers f they have tle tor Hreukfast at hone every morning, let alone for a ba ! wallow im the tub Uke good little sold 1 always luily Sines thelr ten Months-old dave. The pur t Niele $12,000 n silverw ear that pas wens at they neve have to w whout sop Allt rs ent plenty of that without steal- ing it, And when they've finis Fmrope, they came hack on the return tip for mcre soap and water | HELPS FOR THE MOTHER By Emilie: Hoffman —...__._.__ years will have no desite for them wear stockings that extend over e knee and put ina light sweater candy because the taste for this | and Puc inn Neht went at meal to he ts nt “YT OTT RT GHP dy Is not essential to the child, and why MARRIAGE After a child hes reached the sixth year candy may be given in restricted “—By Betty Vincent “Dear Mi Vincent: 1 know amounts at the end of a meal, but it should be perfectly pure and not rich. If these precautions are taken candy ‘will at least be « less harmful addi- tion to the diet than it usually is. two young men whom I like very child sleeps ~~ much, but cannot make a final Is that not too much decision. One | know from child- hood days who is studying a pro- fessional course. This man is fif- teen, years my | know that he likes me, but as yet has never told me so, for he ls very bashful. The other young man is a very excellent business man. | have known him only two y lee rightly trained child of five cool, even if It is summer time, let “My = three-year-old twelve hours. sleep for a child of that age? Is there anything wrong with her?'' asks 4 other. Indeed not! A child of that age re- quires overy bit of twelve hours’ sleep, and no healthy child will ever overaleep. Sleep is very important in child life and should receive the and he is a foreigner, but a mame care as the diet. There should English very well, Ple bea Un pdigg ab eee sa as there 18 me, Miss Vincent. BLONDIE. a Te the test month an infant . This iw @ matter which only your will sleep twenty-two out of every heart can decide. However, I will say twenty-four hours, and at six months {hat I would not put too much stress {t will spend sixteen hours a day in UPON the fact that the frst young sleep. When a child is two years old ™#n is bashful and afraid to tell you it should sleep twelve hours at night, Ne loves you. The man who declares Decides the day nap. The twelve [iS love for a girl is much more pre- hours’ sleep is Very essential during fe"able ax a suitor or prospective hus late ate band than the man who merely in the first six years of @ child's 1; beers ay Seria “Dear Miss Vincent: Am a young man twenty-five and very fond of reading your advice to other young people. | have some trouble | would like to have you straighten out but there are many details to consider, so what shall 1 do? BL. Vv." Overdressing an infant in warm weather is as great an evil as in sufficient clothing on a cool duy When the motier's comfort demands the sheerest garments, why should the baby wear woolen shirts, bands ‘and stockings? Use the saine judg ment in dressing the children as you do in your own attire and gauge their Write out your whole story, tryin necessary clothing by your own re- to make it us brief and clear am pos- @itizementsa. And when ihe days aie sible. Summer ‘By Caroline Crawford Copyright, 1922 (Ni York Evening World), by Press Publishing Company. Does a Girl Ever Marry Her Summer Beau? York girl, has gone to ‘will spend # month's Peters, ry, whe vn On the train ahe meets a young tan, Richard Bonnington, who greatly. in terents lier, and wnother at a dance, Dilly Croton. ‘Lien she meets J. 0. Billige, a Werllliy widower. Bonnington Visits her takes her for a boat ride. They are et and Billings rescues her and takes her A MACHINE, A MAN AND A MAID. FTER two sets in the tennis PX court, Billings and Sally re- turned to the veranda to say goodby to Miss Billings before they motored into town in Billings's car. Miss Billings kissed Sally and made her promise she would take luncheon with them again the following day. Then C. J. Billings drove off with Sally in her dainty organdie borrowed dress and her little bundle of water- soaked clothes in a paper bag. “L can't believe it yet that we actu- ally met,’ laughed Billings. “How did We do it?" “Because we wanted to."” "Do you bulleve in that Potlyanna, bluebird philusophy stuff?" “Well, I rwver did until confessed Sally, + “Stop bringing proof to my ears or you'll get me to thinking that way," warned the widower as he set the c: at a rapid speed and sturted flying down the road, “lt thought we were going to the twins," sald Sally. ‘So we are. But first w fo take a spin to Troy. I don't geta chance to motor with pretty young girls every day in the week, and [I'm quite certain there is plenty of time to ride by the twins’ home, Besides, if they keep thelr eyes open they may see us together quite a bit." ally blushed as she quickly added: to-day,” re going “Tut t's the first shock to them which will count.” “How old are you, Sally Peters?" suddenly asked Billings, as he slowed the car and slipped his arm around the back of her seat. There was something so earnest and so sincere that Sally did no! wince. She rather was proud of that urm and felt that this was her sum. mer and her real suitor, nineteen"? Vhey rode along silently for alny a mile, then the widower suid Meters, I'm forty-five. Ey gray, but big nda You may think I'm impuis: temperamental, but I'm not; Um good size) auite slow to m friend mdf ara anything but istie or tempers men but I have a business hewl and that means I know when I the right sort of an opportunity poople, T tke you, Im absolutely fascinated with you. I liked you the moment Losaw you, I liked you upon your aller id when I talked to you five minutes T knew T loved you Sally's eyes were downeast, but her chest was he much the sun that of etress who is pliy- ing the roie of vamp, She had not expected a proposal and espectally from a mature man of forty-five who known to be a million She 1 mov but not know ng what to answer nor what to at the conclusion of her first 1 posal. “L think my sister euspected I loved you when I told her how unxious 1 wus to meet you,’ he continued. ‘'My sister knows just how 1 woudl recog nize the girl the moment I saw her. 1 know nothing about you, except the fact that you are a Wall sy et sten- ographer, but if you love me, if you will say the word, I will write to your fathor or mother or guardian and tell them the whole story, Ican give you many of the world’s luxuries and a heart full of true love. Come, Sally Peters, make me the happiest man in the: world! J am a widowev, but I ‘e no children and no one in the world but my: T love you, Ho Come, tell me how y feel?" “T hardly know what to suy,”’ Sully managed to murmur. “You know 1 care for you, you know I tried very hard to meet you the first time I saw you but—but''—— “Don't tell me now," he said sooth- ingly. I'l] give you an opportunity to think things over." “IT don't want an opportunity to think things over,’ suddenly declared Sally. ‘1 know now. I love you! I will marry you the moment my father meets you and gives you his consent They looked into each other's eyes and then their lips met in the be- trothal kiss, To-Morrow—A Ride and a Ring. GOING DOWN! EAR FRIEND: There is a word which | hope you will understand, It is GENEROSITY. | would cau- tlon you about being too gener- ow This is true of those who have ched advanced years and de- cide to give to those they choose without waiting for death. There are many instances in the newspapers where the old have had to go to law about .something, all because they mis- understood this word generosity. is a vast difference be- n being generous and being ‘good fellow." If you have to buy @ man’s good will, it might be better not to try. The point is, does the gift make a good point of contact? Many old people have deeded themselves out of house and home throug!) a mistaken idea of generosity, Very truly yours, ALFALFA SMITH. ° sister r Maxims of a Modern Maid | — ‘By Marguerite Mooers Marshall Copyright, 1922 (New York Evening World) by Frees Publishing Company. That husbands and wives should take a vacation from each other is a fine theory—but, after a vacation, how we all hate to get back to work { HERE'S one thing to be said for the summer vamp: She gives hours of ‘1 sheer, unalloyed joy to the elderly ladies in piazza corners, who wonder how far that girl will go, what the men can possibly SEE in her and, DO you suppose, my dear, that she’s really a MARRIED WOMAN? A man's idea of a really efficient wife is ono who reminds him of all the things he wants to remember and who joins him in forgetting the things he wants to forget. Perhaps the modern girl would be more dignified if the modern young man recognized dignity when he met it—instead of assuming its demonstrator to be either “aa cogs" or a new and subtle variety of vamp. It doesn't matter, nowadays, how dry and uninterest- ing your hostess may, be, provided her cellar holds out wot. Bobbed hair and bare knees are all very well, but the girl who mops up the beach is still the Bye who murmurs, ‘‘You have such wonderful shoulders it's too bad you can’t wear a bathing sult all the time."’ Marriage often degenerates into an endurance test between two acri- monious egos—and, whichever wins, the neighbors and the children always Jone Tt must be so nice to be a man: even if he stands five feet five, wears a fourteen and a half collar and has hair rapidly thinning, hoe can still bellove that a Juno will love him for himself alone. Sometimes a woman wonders if any man could make her happy—and aay man who knows her wonders the same thing. How Girl Led State In Education Test “Hard Study Did It,’ Says Helen Sullivan of Regents’ Record and Cornell Prize N an age of infant progidies, Ella when there {s no one about. “No, I never study at night. I am ys too tired when night comes. Iva Helen Sullivan, sixteen, stands out with a remarkable record. alw Ww ATsiehy dn oben) (ntawty Hex There is really nothing unusual school record ig such as to class her “bout me. Lam quite a any per- son. [enjoy study! d mastering wilh those Etudents celtenase Weare T enjoy studying and mastering . what lam reading. I always have a Who lave attained unusual he Wat ie be ek dictionary at hand whe k nthe pursuit of knowled : li sabeid M a book, and if Ido not know the mean-~ \ Sullivan is a resident of ing or proper pronunciation of a Ampeterdam, N.Y. In word, why, I look it up. Joshe wa erdam High State Regents’ June just graduated from th In support of her Sullivan produced a tat front t tatement Miss much worn and ed dictionary, which bore on a flyleaf the following wit! record This in itself is. mo: inserip- Usual, Not eontent with ehoul record, Helen sought one of © Helen Sullivan, compliments of New York te F Charles S$. Wilson, ir Commission, Commissioner of New York State Puir Spelling Bee, 1918." Miss Sullivan wus awarded tha for her work at the State Pair x bee und has found tt w most seful gift, asked ax to her ambition# © said she aspired to be a “fournal t Mng nt to nines, rind nk there Agriculture, write stories for the arn some money. t is more money in maga k than th , don't you ing from valvular trouble or heart, Helen has never t to indulge in vigorous spor How Ithy enough looking witching smile. No, not wear glasses, and while uuse Of her physical condt- Hon, seldom dances, it Is not doubted vot that her dinee card Is quickly filled on those rare occasions wher sie does vttend social functions, When asved if she cared for the novos,” Se answered es, when they are real good, but 1 teare for the ge in newspaper nally ever, she bs a hi ral run of vac Her joy in life ts to be allow sit down, alone, with a good bor either a meritorious novel or a his . tory, and to assimilate its contents the State scholarships at Cornell jjor favorite authors she listed in th University, and the result of her ef- following order: H. G, Wells, Boot! fottn in that ditection: wi Tarkington, O. Henry, Pickens. with such success that she has re- Thuckeray, “and Poe," she added res a Pesaen WA SELeN \ Dine INZENIN FOTE GRAM crowned “ile gives me the shivers, but I lice ceived a personal letter from the 4.4, State Educational Department eon kratulating lier upon her work if BIBLE QUESTION and Answers Helen laughingly passes over he remarkable record by saying “Why, the only way that 1 can a Ay ant for it ix that I wtudied.” $s ; adds that she did not think: she had QUESTIONS. Accomplished such a wonderful feat 1 How old was Noah when the flood “Why, if people keep telling me | came t : nieae ds What is the main object of the am such a wonder, anc vaye my Wher dhe eslating the Meck ct picture taken many more times Ruth? will begin to have a ‘awelled head For what purpose was David she says. anointed? According Helen, there is uo 4. Was Job wealthy? secret about h omplishment What is the seventh Command ment? und studied, Ac who was pres studied and studied cording to her moth In which Testament are the Paalms found? ent at the interview, Helen aro. AN every morning winter at 5 o SWERS. wrapped herself in a bathrot ere a] old wher seater ear u radiator, began he Sia ali aie ' tof the writer in cr work of preparat She says t Hook of Ruth ts ¢ finds {t easier to study in the e ) give an account of t morning hours, n her mind estry of David clear and’ frewh undate.te notunb: Duvid was anointed aa King of Is- tothe distraction w * bound t ral tot » the place of Saul Job was very wealthy come when other members of the fu T seventh Commandment is ily are movi, bout w talking ng a 1 talking shalt not commit util However, 1 ean « vilers are about me rT he Book 1 cam study much easier, of course, Testa f Pealme ts ln the Old ent, Are You One of Those Girls Whose Idea of Outdoor Sport Is Being Long and Continually Restful? By Margery Wells. Copyright. York Evening World) by Prose Dubliehtng pany. HERE are a whote lot of girls T who, when the end of the week arrives, are ready for nothing More strenuous than a good, long, continuous loaf. [t's a sport which, in these strenuous days, has a great many enthusiastic adherents It Is all very well to be active and Peppy and Interested In all sorts of fumes and fun, But after you have had a busy weok In the heat nothing in the world seems ao inviting am a week-end with nothing in the world to do and no dressing to take up your time, except just enough to make you feel beautiful in spirit and suffi- etently proud of your looks to make resting enjoyable Then your clothes must have about them that feeling of repose which succeeds in seeping Itself into your very soul and fits your feelings to your frocks Ina harmonious fashion that Mrings the two chi ly Kuther. Verbaps it is the " FE » kreatest enthusiasm, — For ler the has beon enough of pn 1 ness during the five and a a wud ce hilt nothir Ny as 4 spell of case © finds an isolated s} town and there of a putt utter noun proceeds to sola itt iia anid gy yh vex, there ingenial souls around Joa of this sort of sport allow tha marked enial! ov do tall, There Is nothing thing nothing strenuous about t n 4 week-end—not even y and not even the clathe tke along. You want the t Want them t will pack Into a small A want them to hw adeq s there will be no discomforting incident ty annoy you ell, yo re wen) a anit bt ; us you leave, ‘Then you cut throw an extra wrap over your arm nd t along the lightest ¢ uit cases, Do you know t those ¢ loth be h ba atid 1 of them a night Of sole sort, a neg let pecemmorien, Save of age are replendent with br upon them or appiiaue small bite of felt and broideries of wool. I when vou hrons and swing an oilclot your arm What will the extra dress 1 ! Htomust be subject tot bi iple enough t n- party ashons. And p 1 want all of ye he, on whe what you ne printed votle ' that all the ¢ verins eason, ‘The wi t the pattern of the prin t ek and thin, Ite t It is nice enou snd the simpler the desien rhe more frective iy tt going to be the present styles The Mttle printed crepes are the ABOVE—ONE OF THE NEWER WEEK-END FROCKS MADE FROM PLAIDED FLANNEL IN BLACK AND WHITE, AT LEFT—A_ SIMPLE VOILE DRESS FOR HOT SUMMER AFTERNOONS. Another point is that you can loll about in hammocks and easy chairs and sofas when you have on one of these crepes. Crepe adupts itself ta hard wear of this sort. ‘The other dress shown in the pic- ture Is especially suitable for travel- ling. It is made of flannel with « white ground and a black bair-lin stripe that makes a wide check. Ir the costume you have your wrat that will do for any occasion on th week-end trip, and you haye a dres that will do for many another thing In this way you manage to combine two dresdes In the one, or at least you Ave ony dress and a wran suited for many other places and as a covering for many other frocks Your negligee should ben thin and erushalte, so that wh © and n you line to den it at 3 de Chine is good {thon thy nce and go in for a ir tht emart Hite breakfast conte taffetus with Crills and rose rts of dresses this seawon, eolorlu They a nein fresh, calico put- buds scattered about them for deco rs that a oat cool looking ration are iminensely beeam enything can be ‘Then, as every: ing and are wade loosely enough ¢ one knows, the crepes are really cool he 7 tn wear Wothat they combine — With these few things yea wil pattern with coolness of have enough to make you happy ove ' the most to two days and you will net have over ngs for elt with extra luggage ly 1 lazy wee-end, burdened you The Jarr Fami By Roy L. McCardell AES A ! looked at Ue clock an “ WX oh Beoln have se what ove ' uy y ine tt < ment , r At all drrttoved, replied il nat ir ‘ depot t ' wich well bee ve it M torr ter t Cackleberr vou nt wnswe 1 quer agAly nt kein Waiting in n rmnatt unning t Jose lis Tempe Ad wh ad sun wit ut the Atohinoh ek” and Santy eH wan tliat “Le you toll me wt a train famant ing! \ it 4 or getting here at i y nina 4 i) 1 you suid th Chale iat Bureau of It ‘But if it sbour therm iain t { wluloeie you've ‘What tine doe Nelook train missed it 7 in’ from 1 ak again What tra does it come in ont” asked Mr. Jar asked Mr. Vell hin at 16 o'clock on the s9th That 1 cunt say,” replied the bu of the month, Jerry," suid a facetious reau of the Bureau of Informatio Hut wrentt you paid to give infor: Mr. k important mation enough ta joke wit © the Infor The bra n the misin mation Bureau yawned and asked Me. fornvat Mr, Jarra Jarr if he meant the team that left pityin turned to an old ' ‘ kor the one judy aad told her 5 and wasn thus et in felphia at 4 open unday the old lady was he digp't Know, going to Wading Hiver, Li 1, Ute in Hey dies formmtion was of great help der. on the Pb Have you seen anything of two In it t leaves Philadel. you OOF te jasc Pile 4 ning?” asked the delphin lookurg acound fo 1 Irene € I on ' Mr Jur inquired of « Train wt that hou marked airily he y boobs if they did tw young ladies yes t we Where . ¥ right where Vhaludelptiia at nding for etghtee i tefl ome w th ims tt 1 tired and ha 4 truln from Ihiladety kets taken t mo the Mr. Jar inquired w looking for?” said a ret and humility road detective tude softened the heart of Two girls from Philadelp} Kureau of tr lation and he ¢ said the ter ed 1 s friend that if he ( ‘Ha cked @ lady, with @oth t ) had to answer all the ques- hands in her kets, dy who t mps asked him all day tong poked as thon he it ) would become nutty ing a pipe—"a te slaverI™ And before n° chtfall she made after Mr. Jarm =. } ~ — a ee + oe =