The evening world. Newspaper, July 20, 1922, Page 28

\ “Twang!” « Goo By BIDE A New York woman, shot by her husband, says she deserved {t— Newspaper headline. Oh, hubby, on the street to-day, I smiled at Mr, Brown, Then handsome Mr. Smith rived ar- And motored me through town. That wasn't all—I bought a hat That cost too much, I fear, So get the automatic out And shoot me, won't you, dear? The husband shot her seven times. Said she: “Ah, this is fine, I'm getting just what | deserve,” Said he: “Now Clementine, Please watch your step, hereaf- ter, dear, Remember, ev'ry shot Reduces my supply of shells, And bullets cost a lot.” Observations. Incidentally, the Mayor's yacht is as good as they Mayeom. Charles Garland apparently in- sists on giving that $1,000,000 away. Drop around and see us some time, Charlie Lightning struck a Middletown, N. Y., woman and removed her shoes und stockings. Shocking! A Norwich, Conn., calf has fou: What « lot of fun it could get new ears oat-of a radio set! \ Newark newspaper reporter has Leon sted for $100,000 because of an nso accident. Quite a compliment tov the profession, well say McCardell has won $47,800 tests in the last fifteen 1 pretty safe bet, how- hat be nover entered a beauty fa pile yeur It's competition LAUGHING LENA. Always keop a love tought in your mind, =Siopioven. Lew Dearing, tie barber, en- tered the grocery store with his guitar. Lena knew he was gf important factor in the social life of the town, but what could she do? She hadn't his finger- prints, “Twang!” Tt was the G chord. Archibald looked up from his book, “There is something off-color bere.” he said. Grocer Hoskins did uot reply At once. He was studying the situation with a view to putting on collar. He vould dance very well, but he feared appen- dicitis Lady Hotehki«s brushed back her auburn hair, “Well!” she said. Jt was the © chord. Music, always an embellish- ment to the higher art, is hard to resist. Dearing knew this, but he did not are to be obnox- fous, “I have a razor with me,” he sald, “Anybody want a shave?” Lady Hotchkiss just had to laugh. Lena wondered if thie man could be the one who kicked Hoskins. It seemed both possible and impossible. What was she to do under the cir- cumstances? What would Scot- land Yard have done? “Love Me, Darling, Love Me!" Dearing was singing. Lady d Evening! DUDLEY [ POEMS OF PREFERENCE | Henry Kling of Melrose Station was asked recently what sort of a girl he would marry. “I will not tell you now,” he replied, “but ff you will wateh the Dudley The vening World you'll find out.” Then column in Henry wrote a poem and sent It to us. Look: The girt 'U wed must be a peach, A gentle little dearie, Who mot for scads of tcealth will reach, Her manner must be cheery, She must not be a blondined thing, Nor must she paint and potoder, And she must save one bean, by jing, Of ev'ry ten allowed her. Hotchkiss tapped her foot on the floor, One tap struck the tail of the grocer's cat. A nolse followed. Archibald could stand it no = come AK SHOULD LAY AWAKE WORRYING CUER NOT Havin’ A CAR —— Look AT THE FINE EXERCISE IGET RIDING on my FEET! longer. Jerking off his toupee, he rushed to Lena. “1 demand a square deal,” he shouted. Poor little Lena was dumb- foozled. She gave him a love kiss. In bik hand he still held the tell-tale toupee, but there were no hairpins .in jt. (To, be continued.) Nutt’s Dope. We sent Jefferson Shrewsbury Nutt out to Chicago to cover the championship golf match last week and his report is just in. His story, orobably the best written about the contest, follows: “Dead Dud—Ii and the wife went to the Skookie Club to cover the match for you, but missed it because we were late, the wife having to primp. However, I got the news just the same. The watch was won by Sara- zen, the same fellow who acted in ‘Sarazen\ of the Apes,’ and he did It in 271 hits with two (o blow. He is a young fellow who lives near New York. I believe his first name ts Cademus, but somebody caid the kids used to call him Caddie. Hogan, the Englishman, ran pretty close to Sar- azen, but didn’t have enough putty on the green. Why not have I and the wife interview Sarazen? I could tell him ‘Ty Cobb is better at batting than he is and make him sore, Then he'd talk. If he didn’t the wife could sing a little song she has written called ‘The Dub With the Club.’ It is about a fellow who played golf and ‘nocked off one of his toes. I'm sure It will make bim talk. By the way, d didn’t receive that $11 last week. Please send it at once as my laundry bill is due. Hector Kipple of this town, who is a professional whistler on the stage, got hit in the mouth last night and can’t whistle any more. Jasper Smith hit him, but ¢idn't expect to ruin his career, Much excitement but could learn nothing. —Jeff.” . It Oughta Help. Mrs. J. T. Lockwood, wife of the denUst, gave a caramel party at her home last night in honor of her tus- band’s birthday, — Freeport (Ind.) Despatch. AND NOW PERMIT US To inform you that there ts an Indian baseball player out In Kans... named Charley Horse. About Plays HE Lights Club, at Freeport, will es {fe annual vaudeville tour at the Columbia Theatre, Far Rockaway on the evening of Sunday, Aug. 20. This club is composed principally of actors and about thirty- five of its members will take part in the show. Among them will be Will Rogers, Pat Rooney, Eddie Foy and family, Jan and Katherine Lee, Victor Moore Andiéw Mack, Dugan and Raymond. Wells, Virginia and West, and Lewis and Dody. The show will probably be given in other Long Island towns. The receipts will go to the club, HE MUSTA BEN AWFUL, Margarct Petit, the dancer, was fmvited to a lawn party on Long Is- Sand recently and ene energetic young man succeeded in inducing her to dance with him, “Oh,” he raved to the little blonde, “1 could dunce like this. forever." “Don't say that,” Meplicd Miss and Players Petit. “I'm sure you'll improve with experience." ACTRESS A HEROINE. Carolyn L. Duffy, a young actress. whose mother ix employed jn the Shubert oMces, proved herself a bravo girl recently when she jumped into the Shrewsbury River and res- cued @ man who was in dangor of drowning. The man, Edward Hoft- man, of New York City, had been stricken with cramps und was uncon- scious when Miss Duffy got» him to shore. A physician succeded in re- viving him. “PIN WHEEL" JULY 30. It is announced that Michio Itow's “Pin Wheel’ will be resumed on. Monday, July 30, at the Littl Thea tre, Richard Herndon will present jt. HOW ABOUT THIS, BOYS? Leo Marsh, the critic, was walking along the north side of Seventh Ave- nue last night when he trigged over Ben Keicy Holsaman, and x down. NOR SHALL) ENRICH “Th' Taxt COMPANY By & IN “THEIR CABS — ILL WALK AN! REDucE “Te BUMPING AROUND (1S FALSE FRONT PEoPLe ALways SAID THAT You MARRIED ME FoR / MY” MONEY *~ ALone ! ZATSOP We THe RE MISTAKEN # The Evening World Comics | You HAD Quite A LOT oF REAL ESTATE. ' COULDN'T WE PLAY SOMETHING LESS SEVERE, Miss FLIPP ? =A GAME OF CHECKERS HAPS PLAY GOLF “Heljo, Gene!" paid Leo, soon. Marjorie Rambeau, in ‘The There was no reply and on looking |Golafish,” will move " 7 closer he Wisecovered it i will move to the Shube was Loney Haskell July 31, Of course, nothing more was said. GOSSIP, Films will go in the Astor Theatre John Philip I SHOULD SAY ) NOT ! -MAKE UP} YOUR MIND To Now, Pero LISsEN ¢ I sain “GITAP* LAND Wed T sav GITAP” You Go AHMAD - { AK! DEAR OLD REMGRANDT! WHAT A MARVELOUS MAN ) Ipow't You QuIT RAVING] | PAINTER 7 He wast Sousa began For purposes of record, motion pic tures are being made of the dance numbers in ‘'Good Morning, Dearie.’ bis see? OLD FELLOW ? WHY. oes > REALLY, MISS FLIPP, I CAN'T GO A STEP FARTHER = IN FACT } IM SEEING BLACK SPOTS BEFORE MY -AND WE'RE A HALF MILE FROM THE), - HOUSE !! | thirtieth year as director of the Sousa Band with a concert in Albany last night ‘the Morin Sisters, dancers, are re- turning to the vaudeville Their work was cut short by the death of William Mooley, with whom they appeared. 4, Helen Schroeder has returned from ) ABOUT THAT GUY AN’ Tew FX efi. AN EAR © CORN WILL DO IT. MIXUPS - MAKE AW THE SPOTS ON THE TABLE CLOTH You WANT “To - Poca saccinay Dont sorte Re 7 end Ta THE Gaey LeT HEE FAL how And GBT duet. ELbim PRED ANH « 8206 eFoay SONN ~ SEND & MERRY Mixa MARY MtKUP ba You WERE Al LIKE HE Was! ei WOMEN HAVE SUCH SILLY ~ TASTE. Now 1 S'Pose THE ONLY WAY I CAN WIN HER HEART 1S. To TAKE UP_5 (Cope. 1802 (N. Y. Eve. World) By Prous Pub. Co. -JUST THINK-I PAID Two DOLLARS AN HOUR FOR, THIS ‘PLEASURE: !!! MY FIRST SOB > AN’ FELL OFF THE SCAFFOLD ! ) — GEE, BAB, THE GIRLS ARE DISGUSTED WITH OLIVER = YOU'D BETTER BEAT IT WITH YOURSIG BEFORE THE GIRLS DEMAND IT BACK __~ HEAVENS~ HE'LL BE \N NO CONDITION TO} | COMPREHEND MY an offer She ‘our Europe and is consideriny pear in a musical comedy en touring abroad with the Marks Brothers. The Good Will Delegation of (he American Committee for Devastated France will see “Captain Applejack”’ at the Cort Theatre Tuesday evening. | A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY. There hotel in St. Louis called You can pet a room day FOOLISHMENT My baby likes to eat his mush So when he eats I murmur “Hush! TLL GET THE RIDING HABIT AS SOON AS OLIVER LEAVES: HE MIGHT REDEEM HIMSELI AT CANOEING WITH MISS TUBBS Don't make a noise or he muy stop.” Now ain't T just the grandest Pop? PUT IT IN THE ACT. “What kind of fieh should @ sh maker eat?” “| give it up." “Sole.”