The evening world. Newspaper, December 5, 1919, Page 38

ESTABLISHED BY JOSEPH PULITZER, Bewuned Daity Except Sund ww, New York. LPH PULIT! ident, 63 Park Row. RALETOUS SAW irroanirors 69 Path Row JOSEPH PULI a Secretary, 6 Park Row. MEMRER OF THF ASFOOIATED PREAS, wat? Ansociated Prom is entitled to the use for ropatvication of fo ft of not ctherwine Vowel ed an Vited in this paper and ale the news pubiis VOLUME 60........ TO THE UNITED STATES SENATE. Ml ; 4 WEEK AGO The Evening World called upon men who, irre- 4 spective of party lines, represent the industrial, commercial | | and financial interests of this city and State to tell the! ratification of the Peace Treaty. i - ; © @me to uncertainty and unrest. D0 iCi(‘ét want’ witha leaving even ‘a compromise for discussion. | The Senate’s treatment of peace, declares the committee appointed | by the Chamber of Commerve to report on the status of the treaty, “has created a crisis in morals and trade.” “As a consequence of this unhappy condition we are losing moral leadership. The legitimate commerce which victory as- sured us ia slipping away. The prosperity of America's export trade is largely dependent upon the extension of credits to our customers abroad. But pending the ratification of the treaty, ( thus establishing @ known basis for the continuance of inter- national trade, no adequate credit plans can possibly be estab- Ushed.” be nates RN aeaheneeniee ae can the Chamber of Commered af the State of New York. the Senate. . ? } calls for compromise and mutual concession it would have no peace 4 x “that would be a base abandonment of our allies.” H ai { “A peace in which we wrap ourselves in the robes of 190- ; H lation and self-interest would be as dishonorable as further i { delay would have been In our decision to enter the wer on ; j April 6, 1917." ; i Moreover the Chamber passed a resolution: : + rivers! “That come form of international covenant which seeks to ; ira ; Brevent war te a moral necessity.” \ 7 EO lpteinty itneeds long step from Senator Lodge's position to ; - eat the kind of compromise called for bythe New York State | \ Darwin P. Kingsley, President of the New York Lifo Insurance * Gempany and prominent Republican, was Chairman of the committee which made the above report. Among members of the Chamber which unatiimously adopted report and resolution are such well known New York Republicans as Thomas W. Lamont, Otto T. Phnnard and Pasi M. Warburg. we Repulfican treaty-spoilers in the Senate? ! $ te . ‘We suppose it matters little to coal miners in Ohio that J. 4 im New York City and elsewhere people are shivering in heat- ‘ leas subway and elevated cara. Is the cause of the miners ad- vanced ene jot by the sufferings of an innocent public? Is Justice to be won only by injustice? + —_—_—__—_. MAKE IT A MILLION. the city’s theatres to-day to swell the Actors’ Fund. This organization which eares for needy members of a great pro- ¢ fession arrives at the climax of its drive for a permanent endowment | Toes and tens of thousands of New Yorkers will fill + to pat it on firm financial ground. . Individual contributions have brought the fund .to the half a + million dollar mark. To-day’s demonstration of public interest and | good will should start a final avalanohe of donations large and small. Remember what the stage means in the rush and grind of life. + Remember the hours of relaxation, pleasure and mental stimulus we ? owe to it. Remember the stndy, preparation and patient rehearsal 4 Fequired to produce the very resalts that delight us most by their smoothness and ease. Remember, above a!l, that for every petted “star” the stage must have hundreds of trained artists who give their B i best no matter how slender the applause or how small and precarious the reward. behind al! too quickly those of its membe and New Yorkers are beat Actors’ Fund campaign comes to a glorious close, Make il a willion dollar finish right here in Manhattan. poechernennnemend The principal! hindrance to the progress of the Ford-New berry election contest was leck of a self-starter. The Michigan whirled the crank in a Dvely manner, the Press Pubushing Company, Nos, 63 to Acapateheg sevens NO, 21,290 THE NEW YORK CHAMBER OF COMMERCE United States Senate in plain words that not only for national honor bat for the sake of its own business and trade New York demands ; The Evening World pointed out the intolerable drag upon the great commerce of city and commonwealth that must result if inter- mational relations remain at loose ends, if rafos of exchange continue exratie and if markets\at home and abroad go on suffering depression Westerday the Chamber of Commerce of the State of New York feswed « statement which roundly scores the United States Senate few having “hesitated, debated and delayed” until it finally rejected No body in the United States can’ speak of the effects of the present situation on internatiprtal \frade more authoritatively than No expression representing | the, attitude of important business interests ought to carry more weight with the Republican side of * It will be noted that while the Chamber of Commefce committee How does this imperative message from New York sound to It is a profession that exacts mnch, guarantees little and leaves who become ill or old. To make provision for the latter is the object of the Actors? Fand, No. city spends more money on theatre-going than New York, thelr own record at the present time. They can well afford to dig into their pockets and sce to it that the Dies EDITORIAL PAGE FMIDAY, DECEMBERS, The Gay Life of a Commuter Rube Towner By” Coprricht, 1919, by Press Publibing Co. (The New York Bening World.) {OA ener ARADO DORA ROOD ROP REAP RIDA OPPO REDCAR The-Goats of Paradise Are Galloping Wildly, but Constable Smart Knows His Duty ARADISE, that fair home of the hoppy commuter, is beset by goats—real and qpocalyptic. A few days ago there were only two— the property of Col, East. The Colonel is raising a fine family of Boy and Girl Scouts, and to make sure they will be worthy citizens of the Republic he feeds them on goat's milk. For the peace and happiness of his néighbors, as well as his own, the Colonel keeps the goats tethered, but nobody can foretell what a goat will do, especially late at night after Con- stable Ike Bmart has gone to bed. Bo it happened that one of the Nan- nies did a Houdini or something and went on a @ipnuy visit to the neigh- bors. fioon after Nanny returned sto G. HL @ the reports began to come in over the field telephones telling of her night of offensive against the front lawn shrubbery. The Colonel was properly regretful and promptly settled the damages, He got a new rope and learned to tie some new knots, but the new rope had a flavor that appealed to Nanny's palate and she bit a sandwich out of the middie and set out on another foraging ex- pedition. This time the complaints were in harsher language,’ and one word led to many others, resulting in the threat of a damage suit. The Col- one! is a law-abiding citizens but one who knows his rights, and, knowing, dares maintain, 80 he consulted Law~- yer Rastus, who is the most learned man in goat law in Paradise, Ras tus used to practise down tn Ala- bama, right where the “goat belt’: joins tho “moonshine” sector, He te familiar with tho nature of a moonshiner’s goat and equally so with the babite of a goat in the moonshine, He haa studied the hab- lus of Capricornua, trom the wild ape- clos that leapa from tho erage of tho Pyronnes to the now extinct type on Bock beer aligns, He examined Col, Fast's deeds to hie property to ascertain just what restrictions were tmposed and found that Col. Kast In his realty covenant 1s forbidden to keep horses, cows, swing, chickens,( ducks, geese, tur- keys, trained mice, lions, tigers, ele phants, dromedaries, and every genus ti i: and Is on the Qui Vive amd species of domestie and wild gni- mals except GOATS! Leave it to Rastus, He then consulted Chitty or Green- leaf of Coke, or whoever it was, “On the Rights and Privileges of Goats in Captivity,” and looked up the de- cisions of the Appellate Division con- cerning the “Trespass of Goats. large,” and announced that the Col- onel had a sound defense in the case of individual complaint, * The Goat’s Legal Status, But civic pride was aroused: Some one appealed to tht Paradise Heights Taxpayers’ Association, which upholds civil, political and re- gious Iberty and the rights of tax- payers, and there was talk of a suit against the Colonel for maiptaining @ nuisance in the persons of the goats, but again the astute and learned lawyer, Rastus, drew upon his vast experience in the “goat belt” and announced that all the decisions were to the effect that a goat was not a nuisance per #® any more than @ revenue agent, He declares that the goat, especial- ly the female of the species, is a harmless, domestic, necessary anima! like @ cat, when properly safeguarded by reservations as to annexation of contiguous territory. It is only when Persons in the vicinity become aware of the presence of the goat without seeing or hearing him that the animal! can be properly charged with being nuisance, Rastus holds) When Law- yer Jimdee was consulted by the other side he semed to have grave doubts about the case, especially the manner of procedure. He been looking over Blackstone that morn- Ing in another case, and according to that authority he thought the action should be not against Col East but against the goat, Now, it te one thing to serve papers inst @ peaceable, law- and to serve them on it ts unjustly y and seems to have @ grouch against the whole human race, like @ Senatorial cabal with @ pooco treaty. Constable Tke Smart & possible factor tn the reading up on natural tudying the habits and |charactoristicn of goats, particularly the wild ones, In the meantime the apocalyptic goats Aro increasing #0 rapidly in paradise Ahat there will soon be enough to start a goat ranch Constable Smart nays he will do his duty and serve th rrant on the | ease, lhistory and goat If one is isaucd—even If he has to call on the Sheriff's reserve, Thé Jarr Fam ‘By Roy L. By J H. Cassel ily McCardell Coprrient, 1919, by The Press Publishing Co. (The New York Evening World.) rnd All Is Well! Santa Claus Feels the H. C. of L., but He Got Out of the Stock Market Before It 7 JHEN Mr. Jarr came home the other evening the children met him at the door, hand in hand, with their locks all smoothly combed, their faces clean and bright. And they ran and kissed him with wild eries of delight to see their \ear papa home—the darling cherubs! “Look, papa, look at my school re~ Port!” cried the little boy. “See what good marks I got!” “And look at mine!” cried the little girl, “I've been good too and we've been helping mamma since we come home from school.” “They have been regular darlings!" interjected Mrs, Jarr as she joined the little group at the threshold. Mr. Jarr expressed his gratification at the juvenile pulchritude of his off- spring, and then Master Jarr betrayed a clue to this astonishing state of af- fairs. “How jong is it till Christmas, Paw?” he asked. The Pleasant Perspective. Ia it next week, pap: inquired the little girl, “I have .been been than Willie, ain't I, mamma?" | “No, you ain't, no you ain't!" ex- claimed the boy, crowding in front of his sister to present his claims for reward for good behavior; whereat the little girl began to stamp her little feet and wail. “Christmas is somé weeks away =a TO-DAY’S ANNIVERSARY | Order of Expulsion of the Gypsies. STERIOUS and fascinating race! Where did they come from? It is yet & mooted ques- tion, On this day, Dec. 5, in 1537, Henry VIII's royal edict ordered the expulsion ‘of all gypsies from Eng- land, they are nomads, wander- ers, Bohemians—but, would they be anything else? They are proud of thoir eternal migrations, The most authentic and scholarly research gives them a Northwestern Indian ; not an Egyptian, From the great mountain wall of tho Hindu Kush they percolated into clviliza- tion, Let the reader ponder and de- your Robert Hrowntng’s poem, “The Flight of the Duchess.” the bl the allure of the The velns caper with its lilt, well known fact that Liszt drew his inspiration for the = “Hungarian Khapsodies" from the wild, com- pelling music of the romnipen (the Tt sings Into | Slumped © yet, my dears,” suid Mr. Jarr ay he parted the two und stilled the tumult. The faces of the children fell, In the bright calendar of youth “some weeks” is a long time, “Will it come sooner after next week, paw?” asked Willie Sarr. “It will come soon enough, my boy,” replied Mr. Jarr, “And when you are as old as Lam the Christmases will Just race toward you." This relation of maturity to the speeding time had no great appeal to the little Jarrs. Their faces fell. “Whatcha gonna give me for Christ- mas, paw?" asked the boy. “Well,” said Mr, Jarr, "4f you are ag good every day till Christmas as you have been to-day, I know Santa Claus will bring you something nice.” “There ain't no Santa Claus,” said the young sceptic. 8 comes down the chimney only one chimney in , and it Santa Claus went down that he'd go into the furnace in the cellar and the Janitor would burn him up." At this implied combustion of the | patron saint of Christmas cheer, little Emma Jarr began to weép afresh. “You musn't talk that way, Willie,” remarked Mrs, Jarr, ‘There is ‘a Santa Claus to bring things to chil- dren who believe in him, but if they don't believe in him he doesn't bring them anything.” 3 The Blessings of Belief. “I believe in Santa Claus!” cried the little girl, “and L want him to bring me a doll house and a new doll carriage, and a set of dishes and a wax doll, and a lot of little dolls and some more dolls and lots and lots of cand “I believe in Santa Claus if he brings me what I want,” said the more practical Master Jarr, “I want an automobile and an electric train of cars and a gun and a pistol and @ d, and if I don't get them I won't e in Santa Claus!" jeve in Santa Claus, get what you ask for or ! Mrs, Jarr, who was a remit stickler for old traditions, “But you are not going to get dangerous things like guns, Santa Claus is going to bring you an overcoat and a nice pair of stout shoes. Both you children should be glad you are going to get clothes instead of foolish toys that you will only break, Santa Claus the high cost of living this At this announcement the little girl also began to protest plaintively. “Oh, don't take the joy of life from the childr sald Mr, Jarr. Then he winked at his good old lady, “I | hear that Santa Claus got out of the stock market before the slump." At this comforting announcement | the children beamed with joy again and resumed their — pre-holiday | angelic deportment, Copyright, 2 HE was a human nectarine In looks, With a rope of red-brown hair, «eyes to match, and a mouth curved like a seashell. She had the game Of “catch-the-man” 1919, by The Press Publishing Co. Fables for the Fair. By Marguerite Mooers Marshall (The New York froning World.) The Fable of the Glacier and the Girl—Moral: “The Only Really Simple Thing Is to Go Straight for What You Want and Grab It” In her hands if she only had known it. Unfortunate’ ‘+ Rather like ntle Jane as good as gold"— She always BELIEVED what she was told About “keeping a man guessing,’ “spurning” bis “distant” and “queenly” and “dignified,” Doing the glacier act, in short. This technique Has been spread over the land by the real sirens who wish to elimingts a8 much competition as possible, And by the intensely self-respecting spinsters who could have slaim their thousands but wouldn't take the best man that ever lived— To hear them tell it— Who, pretending to know all the tactics for getting married, Strengthen their alibi for staying unmarried! The poor glacier Took all this propaganda SERIOUSLY. Waited, in chilly silence, For the most eligible young man in the office To be the Christopher Columbus of her manifold perfections. As if Any young man ever DISCOVERED any girl and his love for her Before She beat him to it! And as if any young man were not aware That, though glaciers melt, they take an epoch or so for the proces And he can't WAIT! A real girl who knew that working, not buck-passing, is the way To capture a job OR a husband Sailed into that office , And got busy. She gave the Great Cath A few B.S. V. P. glances. She told him in their first conversation how clever he was, And agreed that the boss didn’t half appreciate him. Going by his desk Her bare arm Just brushed his sleeve—quite by accident, of course. When she found He had to stay Saturday afternoon for some special filing She offered to HELP him. When he invited her out to dinner Did she show maidenly hesitation and talk about Answer: She did—NOT! She bankéd on winning wiles Instead of glacial smiles. Prettily, nicely, charmingly, but oh, so unblushingly!— She ran after the man she had decided should love her And CAUGHT bim— Quite as if she had. been a Shakespearian or Shavian heroine, Instead of a Twentieth Century stenographer, Bill knew the sex—also his own; So does Bernard Shaw, And the moral of this fable is true, Even if G. B. 8. Said it first! Lucile the Waitress By Bide Dudley Being the Story of Skinny Brown, Pencil Peddler. a Boy Who Told the Truth. © 6“ E got a lot of beggars and peddlers in here,” said Lu- cile, the Waitress, as the Friendly Patron poured some more syrup into his coffee, “[ imagine you do,” he replied. “Yes, and most of ‘em are fakes,” Lucile went on, ‘They come in with all kinds of tales af woe, mostly manufactured out of whole ollcloth. Oh, I tell you, I have to be pretty capricious to keep from being stung several times a day, They've all got arving families, or sick relations or something, And it's all a fake. | “Last night we had a kid in here with a handful of pencils and blamed if he didn’t try to sell me one. You'd atthought I was a bookkeeper by the way he tried to rope me in, His story sounded pretty much fake, #0 I de- cided to quizzst him a little. “ “‘How much you want for them pencils, sonny?’ I says, ickel each,’ he says, “What would you do with the coin? “‘T got a sick mother and two little hungry sisters,’ he says. “I smelled fish immediate, ‘Listen,’ I says, ‘don't be using that old one around here, We like originalness. Dig up a new wheeze and if it's good I may slip you a nickel for a pencil, myself.’ / “I'll trade you a pencil for one of them ham sanwiches,’ he says, “Hungry, eb?’ I says, kind like, ‘Sure!’ he says, ‘but I won't eat Ite “what'll you do with it—plant it and raise a garden of ham pan- wiches? mn take it home to my mother.’ “It was the same old gag. Sym- pathy racket, you know! But -vhat you going to do in a case like that? You can’t turn him down complete, becaus@ if he asks for a ham san- wich he wants one, and if he wants one he's hungry. 8o,*I slip him the ham sanwich withouftaking a pencil and then I give him a Ittle advice “‘Listen, ‘I says, ‘now wend on your Way and don't be coming in here any more with tales of woe about sick mothers and hungry sisters, What's your name? “'Brown,' he says, ‘It's Skinny Rrown.’ “Where do you live? “In a basement on Ninth Avenue,’ “I ask him the number and he acts like @e's forgot, But he finally gives Coprright, 1919, by The Press Publishing Co, (The New York Brening World) me a number and then he beats it outside, getting going to have hi “Well, the pro talked to the “"This ain't little bums like “em all o1 ied or it got. fe your You're 80 parley voo “He goes and Ing shortly wit! wot any use for "Yes, I use oMice,” replied “Well, here cfs out of her apron “So you went home, eh?” “Yep, found out that lakers, tt haa a whole pencils because—well, sives me hail Columbia because I Kid at T say: Excuse scare into the old ch Ing faster on your ‘ham anger Lucile went to “Bay, listen!” she said. I aiary we first advances, being another engagemems? ' superstitious that I'm im pinched, I gues, oprietor comes up and no place to entertain him,’ he says. ‘Chase ne de tals lose all th Got mer 0 ir polite-like, ‘you're t need to Bp Acd Bab about it s0 muck. only the owner of this "plage ment departments” to he Daneaee that ends the whole me while I shoot « the kitchen, retu h the ham ands cane, “Hi you pencils?” on ncils every day at the he Friendly Patron. a whole handful for ing & dozen pen- Pocket, around to Skinny’s replied Lucile, some peddlers ain't That sandwich was all they'd day. I bought ali the selling pencils ain't enough. I'm going to get Skinny @n opening or n, day I'm going aged six and e all bright and O° course I ain’ what about a p dessert? do a lot worse.” OF FIXI by a firm facturers its average out have been made is called, duce by fort this can the “standard,” is Increased by earning $12.28 4 $18.42. all concerned. council that the culties now job in my brother-in- 10 matter whether th going to ask for thelr Aunt Luetle, It's terrible, but you could” NEW BRITISH PLAN |b ey of a scheme adopted Production Council in London, Eng- land, The Priestman scheme, ps it is based on that a number of men can pro- ordinary effort tain amount, known as the urd," but by increased individual ef- employee receives a percentage om his wages for all output in excess of The friction often caus Diecework Is thus avoided ana “% \ maximum output is advantageous to vent of many, if not all, of the @ig@- facing industry,” W's garage e big stew's got ot. And listen—some to show you two ef the prettiest little yeller-headed girls ight coming tn here, well-fed, and they're 't their aunt, lee of prune but—oh, ple for NG WAGES ot machinery mana- which has incréased put by 50 per cent. public by the Higher the principle cor tand- be exceeded. Every Thus, if the outpat 50 per cent. a fitter week would receive It is claimed by the scheme is the “Sol- i