The evening world. Newspaper, March 5, 1919, Page 20

COMIC PAGE ay; March 6, 1919 Daily: »Magazi AACHEN “THAT 1S CORRECT- But CAN SOME PUPIL TELL ME ANOTHER DIFFERENCE 2 Now, CLASS, CAN ANY ONS TELL ME THe CDIFFERENCE <BETWeed OCEANS 1S BIGGER “THAN LAKES, THey ARE TAsTS BETTER “THAN OcmANS WHEN Yéuy SWALLOW sSomME OF "EM ERE you tact with the first night vic! davge that will set the whole town talking.” “I'd suggest,” said one more, situdes of a musical show? If you have been you will realize that a certain amount of excess fat is fan absolute necessity to prevent your foming through it all as a candidate r the position of living skeleton in a Sideshow. Also, if you relish advice, try your hand as an atithor of one of musical entertainments. You'll Get @ supply that will last you seven | Immediately after the fall of Te cartain on the initial performance there forms in the theatre a “You'd Better Club,” and jt loses no time ia offering its suggestions accompanied you get some chewing gum and” —- He was interrupted by Jam tendale, manager of the c: who smiled and sald: “Capacity to- nigbt!” That was the answer. We pleaded fatigue and adjourned with Edward Royce, the ditector, to Charley Moore's emporium. As Charley set out the lemonades, he sald: | Great show, boys!” | ave something yourself, Char- ley!" we shouted. And before we left we had absorbed six of the delicious lemos. | | i} VION MAY TRY IT. Joe Vion, at present connected with p lh AND A LAKE © by slaps on the back and expressions ae ales au ee . Of brotherly love. |the principal role, may try hig hand |) ) “Come Along,” a new musical com-|at producing next season, He ‘ “Fine! The show's a hit, but you : ia die. ¢ Want to put some milk in those cans.” | Pe of sncers, Said he: “You = “The milk doesn't show,” we re been sizty for cight or nine 9 PTrue enough, but the audience} Years.” Said Silas: “Thats : 's there, so it must be| plenty, you feeble old frog!” ie imagines ‘S—., there.” v= | WW} dy of which the writer of this column someey which he will have set to { \ Ak fe the author and John Louw Nelson | ™USIC: \ Ms ‘the composer, had its initial perform- ee at the Apollo Theatre Monday fat before a large audience com- posed, to a great extent, of New York ple. Among those present were ike Kiaw, Joseph Kiaw, Artour Hammerstein, Otto Harbach, Samuel pman, Percival Wilde, Lincoln A. mhals, Isadore Witmark, Moyer BY WAY OF DIVERSION. | Said Silas McQuggin, in Pee: | toceple's store, “The women don't | care for their birthdays no more. It's those who've passed thirty I'm talkin’ about. They scem to prefer just to cut birthdays out. To-day I went home and I says to THE BIG LITTLE FAMILY < VS A LETTER FROM’ MAG NEESHYA” MY OLE SCHOOL CHUM-AN’ SHE SAYS HER BROTHER { SAM" 1S BACK FROM YES - AN’ T GUESS TH Lap'Lt BE GLAD To GET BACK YO CIVIL LIFE!" Cohen, Dr. Goetzi and “Yours Mer-| our Suc: ‘My dear, it's your FRANCE ¢ rily” John Rogers. dirthday, Best wishes to you!" The ideas expressed by these men, She turns and she says, act- all of whom know theatricais! in’ turrible cool: ‘Just keep thoroughly, were excellent. Each) your beat wishes. Don't act like Was of the opinion that “Come! 4G yool' Now, Sue's thirty-three Along” wil! prove a big hit before the Week ends. it was, the audisnce was enthusiastic from the start of the prologue to the fall of the cur- in on the final scene, But back to fhe, Sriginal theme of this story! r the show a young man ap- Proached us and sald: | “That isn't a defect,” said some- Body else. “What you need is & feather in, the Frenchman's cap. 1 waderetand ome of and it makes the girl sore. She tells ev'rybody she's just twenty- four, She's crazy, I think. Say, I'm sizty—now why should I say I'm younger and thus tell a lief" Old Grandpa McGee gave a cou- And as he went out Silas kicked ai a dog. ws THOUGHT FOR A DAY. te feathers—just little 0} Jepp Ht 7 ‘ . p Henry of Wellaville nays that 4 Aw, that's a minor matter,” came |i¢ the United States Government salis ie. Sem « third. “Tell that chorus man lity army mules to French farmers it | TE hits Courtsplaster ‘inatend ‘of black, [better open @ Safety Trust school |n | pmmemeerm remem Aw it is now, everybody watches tne | France for the farmers, : ng Gourt-plaster instead of the show. FOOLISHMENT “Court-plaster makes no differ- ence,” said another, “Get an army mule into the first act som: teach him to kick. People to laugh at a kicking mule. from Laclede, Mo., originally, and I “You need another musical fm- volunteered one more critic. the girl, when her lover finds her, to sing something like: ‘Let’s| “Can your horse run?” Shimmy Back Into Loveland.’ Then| e'd finish fifth in a two-hoose they'll have a good excuse for a! race.” -_— The horse ran away with Joa Mace, Strewing wagons all over the place; It seems rather weird, But the horse disappeared— He left them not even a trace, FROM THE CHESTNUT TREE, AN EXCELLENT EXAMPLE, VENERABLE citizen of the Straddie Ridge neighborhod en- tered a lunchroom in Porkville, she dragging after him a gandor-|car. “Come,” he said, grabbing her ed, lop-eared youth. by the arm. “We will take a taxi to “What kind o' pie have ye got Pere?” he asked of the brisk waitress, “Peach, apple, mince, raisi Punkin, apercot, cokernut and c tard!" she answered with conmdur- @ie rapidity. mony, the young man telephoned to|| TELEPHONE TESSIE EVEN HAfeoL.0 ANO CHARLIE. “TOOTSIE _AN’ WooTsiE’s PAW SPOTTED AIS NEIGHBOR LISSEN AT Homer's 4 1 “Ptu!—which? returned the old/the nearest furniture store. “Hello!|| GETS ALL TH’LAVESsT GOT TH HAMMER HABIT! AONE eee east ) GON BY IN A Brean NEW AuTol VIEV ASE TECRE GODS: NE ta fellow. Is this the general manager? Well, I were U The young lady repeated the list ‘With still greater speed. “Please say that over ag’in, if you'd | vertised in this morning's Planet, No. it as liv’,” requested the ancient “*B.y, lookee here!” demanded the) you. Have the furniture there in ten Stories SUDDEN AS THE MOVIES. E HAD never seen her before, H but he fell in love with her as | ped from the surface | the nearest clergyman and be mar- ried.” While waiting for the minister to put on a clean collar, wash his hands and otherwise prepare for the cere- want you to furnish a three-room apartment for me. There is one ad- 42 West One Hundred and ‘Steenth Street, Yes, it is not very far from WELL DEAREST, HERE WE ARE — OUT ON “Iy'DESERT AT’ Last! BEHOLD “Th'sPoT WHERE You'RE GONNA SLEEP! “To PROTECT ME? YA HEAR. WIM TALIC YAO THINK HE Way WORTH A MiLio) INE Gor my AN, AES Living SUSPICIONS ABOUT AIS WIFE'S INCO PEOPLE Who are SO LovEY Dovey IN PUBLIC! TL Ber Natt, NEIGHBORS | PARTY WirRE: T's TH JUICIEST GIT A No! SHE SAYS HES BEGGIN’ EM . NOT To” DEMOBILIZE sav! do You ExPecT ME “TO SLEEP OUT HERE IN “THis LONELY PLACE WITH NOTHING HIM ¢ NOTHIN’ “To PROTECT You! GEE WHILLIKENS, WOMAN — DYA “THINK \'M GONNA LET ANY HARM COME “To Ya? WHEN THEY ow TH’ Grocer on GUTCHER-AN’ ENERYBODY ELSE DAW GONIT— THATS opp! He WAS : MARRIED *° IF T NEEDED HELP, You COULDN'T RUN FAST ENOUGH To BRING IT IN Time! NEECA BELIEVE me ONLESS YA WANTA, am AY wats yr Guy OUGHT USE ON 2 GOSSIP Tye HEARD IN TH’ NEIGHBORHOOD waitress, | "Can't you understand) minutes, please.” IN Aces" Money! SHOE STRING! IO yes'm; 1 understand, ali} Eleven minutes later a taxi raced 7 1" He turned to the lop-cared “You see, it's Jest person kin talk as fast as he pleases without stutterin’, if he'll only take keer!” he) Street, and the bride and bridegroom | through One Hundred and ‘Steenth entered their new home, “Doesn't this seem—er—a little bit} sudden to you?” asked the brid? us| she sat down lo get her breath | “N-no, not exactly,” replied the) bridegroom. “In fact, it seems the most natural thing in the world, You see, for the past five years IVe done nothing but write moving picture acenarios."—Film Fun — NO MOSQUITOES, NO FLIES AND) A FEW OTHER LIES. ‘ ve ag sir, your train is expected in on time.” “The coolest spot in | | | Mountains; no files, no mosquituss” | a) Maw, WILLIE UJONES Says we DON'T OWN ALL A THIS House! I NEVER KNEW TAKE 11 From TH WA Trees LorTA Four 1 FLUSHERS, 4 =e Ss cael — a ae ROM Soup to Nuts—every-| “It weighed thirt i i of M § } | elghed thirty pounds, and | lf thing you make with Sawtay | Mus Dave been at least four feet Some Day That Squirrel Is Going to Eat George! F ’ ong fs good. And you don’t need| «Absoiuter may | y ely guaranteed for twenty-| [@is19 - x ay special recipes —~ just re- | av years.” Frege The ce NOBODY Member that Sawtay takes the rl be detained late at the oMtes| HE FINOS A POLICEMAN WHEN on important — busine to-night, Place of the finest creamery but-|Srariem salam night, | AS Wants We €ér in every form of co | “Now $12.50; worth easily 32.75." | ae besa! y $ YAN Trp it to-day for deicious mashed potetoes.| “OWN! ts welling only on aceount 4VeE FouND You tablespoonful of Sawtay and @ little | Of ili health. AT LAST? milk-RICH-—and creamy—uum ! | “Only five minutes’ walk to bust- I |ness district and all t | | “I've ru ‘8 with. ‘ - = = - | State, DEVELOPS THE BUST) earner | ; | ; .. Removes Wrinkles 66] WAS endeavoring,” saya the| Dr. Charice Flesh rood hae been sed | teacher of a night school in a| RF recommended for over fitty years. It country to} astill into] Wp prepared of harmiess, healing and nour-|the minds of cert of my dis. ars ingredients scientifically bie |couraged pupils some notions of am combined with ite elegant a | bition.” @ainty rose odor, make it the ideal massage | 1 asked of a dis-| ea ta cea'piosn | ARO looking Jad of nineteen, | Pood, neatly urge you to do so ut | that every boy in this country has a Baths Pee Ne Pleasing, wondertul | chance to be President?! | 1» or Department POR Pld mr 1 the boy, re- rao ™ ato te, Rovartment | ectively. Then added, | ‘Say, Joseph MtHugh y teacher, I'l) chance for ‘@ 2 Gheew 3r . Chronicles Sheen rors7. NY: