The evening world. Newspaper, November 11, 1918, Page 18

me ee ee es COMIC PAGE | Monday, November 11, 1918 HAT’S the matter with dre li- About Plays ; By BIDE Drettiste? Is there no new humor jn the world? We have attended a number of musical shows this season and in nearly all of them the jokes have been old or “bor- Towed,” frequently both, Years ago We used to take our vacations from the Kansas City Star travelling around with @ minstrel company. While thus enjoying ourself we heard hundreds of jokes, most of which Were old then. Not long ago we at- tended a performance of a new musical show on’ Broadway and, @mong the jokes offered recognized three that were used by the min- strels, When another was delivered @oross the footlighta,.a woman next to us whispered to her escort: “Joe Cannon's telling that one.” The present duy Jibrettists are pretty good at plot-writing, but as bumorists some of them are non bekus pokus. MR. WILSON A PATRON. ‘The list of patrons and patronesses for the soldier shuw, “Good Luck, Bam,” waich wili play at the Lex- ington Theatre two weeks beginning Nov, 2, is beaded by Wresideut au Mrs. Wilsvn. DIPPY DOODLEUMS. “Oh, mother, | just heard a cai bark outside my window. Did you hear it, tweetums?” “No, my son, but I heard w littl tray dog moow., Why wii my pettie | cov Bg el euch Aww BRIM) MoCoumel,” will pbiay the ieee c Grand, Chicago, betore com! to “So 1 am wrong, am I? Do you re-| oy ouuway, member the time you mistuok the growl of a little chickie-chickie for the braying of a cow?" “That, motner’s darling, has .oth- ing to du with the case, Une bas to but study animai nature to be Proficient in the urt of revognimng uch noises as the owl's cluck and the pig's coo.” “True, my loved t r but barnyard and when {t hissed remarked: Brutus, you have et two!” “It may have » Mother's little cutey, but why break t lated cases? Caesar @nd naturally romantic, who said ail Gaul was divided Into ‘Ab, three party without reckoning on the | t gall of Mrs. rown next door, Why,| then, should he be considered?” id bite, darling. Why should he?" So! Mother's rinktums cuktume would get funny, eh? Just for that he shali not go to the Plaga und see “On Zaza's Piazza.’ Now get mother t the dishpan, She wants to go out und do some pan-handling.” HANNEFORDS TO THE HIP. Charles Dillingham has arranged | B to introduce the Hannoford of whirlwind equestrians in at the Hippodrome, y. For the past four sen- Bons these riders have been a feature of the Barnum & Batley Circus. ONE BROTHER'S WOES. Bad Coiligun has given up his lease |, the Opera House at O'Neill, Neb, Im the Opera House Keporter he has tals to say: ot lease expired Nov. 1, and I didn’t find the show business here as good as | thought it would be, so I'm not renewing it, The jodge built the house, but they have not time to pat- Fonize it. They spend all their spare time at Kelly pool in the club rooms over the hall, They always keep the ete hot running up and down when there is a show going on downstatrs. t © 4 it Occasionally they slip into the balcony | water when we were married, Husband—Sure! caught. unknown to the ticket-taker to see a show. The house has been closed ¢ for wwe past two weeks un account of] signea jetters criticising others bave avout as much chance 10 break into) Curry rhyme and Mrs, MM. of Hart. plans to establish a training school for embryo film players. is to spend his .|leader in the nearby camps, to ‘Winter Garden, prepa: “Merchant of Venice” and other playa, who dances in the same production, Flo,” has been cast as a sprightly Lester.” e night, will play the Subway Circuit and then go to Boston. i | Sylva is to be an emotional star next season in a play by Lillian Trimbie Again,” which opens to-night. h bet a smooth dime Jack Dem) \could lek the Kaiser, aed and Players DUDLEY the @u WHEN PEGGY SINGS, : ourings, It's just 6 though the figures know Wea Vergy ja to ‘They she ‘aiken a string: her eong they glide along lyon” the alr soln, slows "they come and @o the firelight’s fare, Fig comes (6 maid. in llhe arrared, ith grace she akiiw avo And thet se outs wl dance While bP ber ais And etataiy Games ines o'ct the flames, . White Tires anal hind slants tad Are dancing merry ‘Then woen the glow tas settled low, haa reamed Wien Peeas + thumb bas to tran thang of buwjo strain, ‘The danoe ts throug, the ainoke te bive, An every ttle sighs way ae F ‘Dou good “nigit* MAVERICK RHYMES. Mary pad tise saat Ble thought it was 6 mice ibe amd Det plate 10 pape od abe BA Anot WASTE BASKET STUFF. Peopie who wus eviumn un- Bij on hee “1 bid you r bus to dine | Writer of the | ord, kindly note, Gossip. Chauncey Olcott, in “The Voice of Ciara Blandick ts to go to France oon to act and stage plays for the wmiers. President Smith of the Vitagraph “Freeaom" bas ciosed at the Cen- ury., The announcement says it will eopen shortly. Stewart Baird of “Little Simplicity” are time as a song Arthur Hammerstein will move his “some Time” production to the Casino -day. Al Jolson goes back to the The Shakespeare Playhouse has in tion “Haslet,” “Macbeth,” Little Vera Dunn of “Glorianna” ts he daughter of James Joseph Dunn, Esther Ingham, who was in “Flo- elephone operator in “Listen, “Fiddlers Three,” which ends its ngagement at the Cort Saturday it is announced that Marguerita Bradley. Jap Miller of Indiana, original of he Riley poem bearing his name, ts oming to New York to see “Home The Fowlers, a team of dancers ailing from the Paelfic Coast, wil! join the cast of “The Midnight Frolic” ‘o-night, A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY, Jep Wright of Wellsville says he'd FOOLISHMENT, And then, in tone mild,” “Jump If you want to, my boy," i. Said’ FROM THE CHESTNUT TREE. Wife—You acted like a fish out of 1 knew -I was HI8 NATURAL ROLE. NERVOUS old beau entered a costumer's and said: “I want a litle help in the way of a sugges- tion, dents’ masquerade ball to-night, and I want a distinctly original costume— something I can be quite sure no “Tri commented Miss one else Will WORT. | aye Ye ane meted, Milas, Cayenne, What can you suggest?” don't way it In Gorn The costumer looked him over at- tentively. bestowing special notice on his gleaming, bald and shining head. “Well, I'll tell you,” he thougbtfully, “why don't sugar WINN SCHOOL OF POPULAR MUSIC. Studion im all Principal Cities Hemon Teachers, loom 2-10, VICTORY DI and | your Harper's Magazine. __— I am going} y to the French stu-/ pa; sald, |, Cafe Des Allies head and go as a pillt'— ONE Way, (From the Maltimore Ameripan,) “How have you managed to keep ‘our cook #o long in these days of big y everywhere?” "Oh, I Just took a simple wi her a’ mortgage on the hou a ya THE MANNER OF SPEECH, (From the Washington Star,) “A mreat deal depends on how ao thing ts said.” —_<— SUCCESSFUL CONDUCTORETTEs., (Prom the Kansas City Star.) A number of back vestibule patrons © noticed that the new conductnr- ettes can the car doors on one's elbow just ard as the old conductors ever could. —_—_>__. NOT EXEMPT, (From the Louisville Courter-Journal.) LITTLE “MARY MIX- You see ‘IT cor maT Dorr. FoR LETTING Mom GIVE ME CASTOR OF WHEN T INFLUENZA — CASTOR on? CASTOR ont, 2 T don't want To TAKE ANY Mort CASTOR ow ?% “TAKE A LOT Mores “fe eR ANOTHER Dont, I Broke my You “TAuKin” ; AN’ SAY SHES Yezzal @HES DRIVEN “TWO A DAWGONE DANGEROUS MARRIED Joe’s Heart Is Softer Than His Head! LISTEN BLANCHE — You FIRE HIM! A WOMAN]: CAN SAY IT NICER “THAN | LOOKA DAT, MISTO SINKS! | AK DONE Polish UP DAT LIL CAR “TILL SHE LOOK JES TALKIN DEAR WE | . CAN'T AFFORD “T'KEEP HIM! YLL Go OUT AN’ “TELL HIM HE'S ‘ LQ THROUGH WHEN HIS WEEK'S UP: “Th MONEY. 1 PAY HIM OUGHTA Go IN “TH' BANK , DARN (Tt! Yes, A CHAU! 1S AN RX TRAVAGANCE. ~fuese “Times! oe ry) , 7 ” roe SOMEWHERE IN NEW YORK’ TooTSig. WASNT Lookin! CHARLIE'S Gor For TROuBLE BUT MW +E FOUND IT ALL RIGHT WHEN HE CAME Home! HAROLD WASN*T BxAcCTLY an A Teovse Ww. ‘3 D aad JAN ITO! We blont Bsn UP MORE ABAT— PAW'LL Go ON THE WITNESS STAND ANY DAT AND SWEAR TAAT WHEN , COMES To" LOOKING For TrRous.e Aw COPS THE Ifeon CROSS! POGGON'ir! You Never. iT Ay bala tle OU'RE JUST LOOKIN’ Fer TROUBLE! __—= OF NUT HAS BEEN MELANCHOLY LOO}<IN’ FoR TROUBLE SO MAULOE ISN'r OFTEN THAT HE'S GOT CALLOUSES 9 WNEES AND ELBowS! (hone pe eOUOLE ais) ox Fo IN LO CISANTCY ALARM LOCK THAN You CAN SHAKE A STICK AT! TROUBLE — NOTATAELATALL ANAT ANOS DION'T KISS Mr TAIS MOVE A Rancn Bur mM? GIN, a a L Find Some +; - TS MUNTIN' One WANS Fo DERN TROUBLE AY + ) AFTER NUTHER! ARE YoU LOOKIN! rR TROUBLE! LOOKS Fo - He Don't Hasta !T Finds Him} GRINDSTONE GEORGE “They're talking about taxing clothes.” “That lets out the barefoot dancer,” ; they wolng to tax IDEA. it (7th Ave), New Wark.” ( Detroit Pree Prim.) Sew Vorb. I just had an idea. roy , i oth 3 | the weeds were kon Ave.|, Seer City. | vegetables Bnd INSTRUCTION BOOKS | YOK" AT ALL DEALKho, | tal vp & we NNER | SUPPER DANCES 7 P. M. to Closing AUGMENTED JAZZ BAND CoprTigMt. 1918 Press Publishing Co, || (WH. ¥. Bvening World.) « . “Tobody Wand A Nobody’ le Srindstone George He’ the boob who was ‘driven’ to