The evening world. Newspaper, January 9, 1917, Page 18

Tuesday, January 8, 1017 [come race] Byening World Daily Magazine HENRY HASENPFEFFER As the Bard Remarked, ‘Twas the Unkindest Cut of All! ABOUT Plays and Players By BIDE DUDLEY wt , SX LOOKED IN “TH ICE) (i menrs —Desser's AN “Box AN’ Every were) | Lore oF THINGS CHAT AN! “THEY AIN'T ‘NUFF; WUZ LEFT OER FROM oO FOOD “To PuT OUR” DINNER PARTY” LAST! NIGHT? “ToLD “TIED Y" “ PUT IEM AWAN~ AG HER BOUT 'EMY SOUNG ARMY Me ENE ‘Ard WT X SaiD- NOY DD Y'Do OTH “THINGS “TH “MISSUG" “LE You “% PUT AWAY, DAWGONIT -—TM SARIN’ on Me FeeT! umere “TH! SAM HILL Dp Y'SAY ALL THe WHY “HENS PLENTY=IN FACT HENS ENOUGH a9 Pomses 1 AMOUNG ARMY ILE no definite confirmation of the plan fs at hand, tt looks though William Faversham, George H. Brennon and others associ- ated with them will build a theatre in New York this year, Mr. Faver- sham some time ago expressed a de- ire to have a house he might call his own, and persistent rumors are about Broadway to the effect that the Faversham Theatre ts nearer a real- ity than eome people might think, Tho day of the “star-controlled Broadway theatre is surely coming. Henry Miller also is to have one, Holbrook Blinn has been talking about one, and there are others who are wishing for houses of their own. BLIND CHILDREN “SEE” SHOW. Through the generosity of a society woman who doesn't want her namu tioned, a party of blind children ‘saw’ the show at the Hippodrome yesterday. Two young women who ean see explained the stage pictures to the sightiess ones, and they had a royal good time. Incidentally, dozens YOU'LL EITHER WEAR. THIS OR TAKE A BEATING - I'S A SHAME TO LET THAT PooRL GUY LINE! LOOK AT THE Poor. Sissy! ef persons in the vicinity were kept Busy ewallowing their Adam's apples AINT HE A THAT WAS ge the blind children shouted in glee. SCREAM | BEFORE HE sal tae eStores he store: "There's nowbing like dentists : = / y THAT GLAD Misited Dr, Devine to have bin. peck EV» | C4 RAGS BROUGHT into a molar of mine, It's only been , GLAD SMILE S. aching a couple of days, but, fellers, neglecting your teeth never pays. And #0 I says: ‘Doc, for a dollar, I hope, av 3 ¢ g , y FROM GLADYS \ | } | ays for . b f 7, va you'll fix this old tooth, Have I got \ U AIN'T HE GRAND! “WG the right dope?’ Well, Doc ind me to get into his chair. I did and ho \ \ t MT n\ poked in my mouth here and there, DOAN At last he says: ‘Silas, I'm sorry to stots that you've got six bad teeth and possibly eight. "Twill cost forty Au, i dollars to fix ‘em for you. It might we | Baye 1: “You're through now. Then YOUTH | I leaped from the chair and, grabbing || THOUGHT THAT TO BE WELL WITH ANYBODY THAT WORE j y hat, I made tracks out of there al ORESSED WAS A CRIME = week Doo Devine Glipped a secret to me, Says he: ‘It's the boobs that make dentistry pay. I reckon he thinks yer a sort of a Said St: "You're mistaken and itted, too. There's only one Jay fn this store and that's you.” Then, leaving, he added: “You're sure boob type." “Jed Peeweeple chuckled and lighted his pipe. SUCH 18 FAME! t Dr. Robert Harry Scott of Brooklyn gaw Clifton Crawford in “Her Soldier Boy” at the Astor Theatre the other night. As he left the lobby after the show, he heard a girl behind him say to another: “That funny man in the show re- APPEARANCE WASN'T A FORM OF INSANITY- A CLEAN COLLAR — Coprriaht. 1017, Prose Pubitening On (HY. Rvoning World) FLOOEY. > "Now DONT BaAWL Me. ouT ! THE. HORSE. 1 SELECTED FoR You "To RIDE. LOOKED “TAME ENOUGH! * THE JUDGES SAY You'RE. ALL GONNA DRAW NUMBERS OUT OF A HAT FOR YER NEXT HORSE. ~ SOIF Y'PICK A TOUGH ONE | PRATURING hin ) ! ; Wf r i" rs i E ts 4 inded ey" tL: minded me very much of Clltton Y'CANT BLAME IT ON ME! “Me, too!” sald the other. | Dr. Scott hurried home and tickled | the old typewriter half an hour to let Mr. Crawford know of the incident. JOHN PIPES A LAY. One of the handsomest poets of ou ' ‘, acquaintance 1s John Wilstach, eon CUT OUT BY THE, of Frank Wiistacb. John last nignt commissioned the Post Office Depart- ment to bring us his latest effusion and he got up this morning at 6 o'clock to see if we printed it. The poem fs too long for us, but just to ‘show you that John can write poetry as well as Pop can collect similes, we're golng to slip you @ couple of stanzas, just like this: “Treanite Island” stret And NATIONAL BOARD |; iii OF 1: ~. CENSORS; Bean” company will give a benefit) performance at the Bronx Opera House Jan. 29 for the Beth Elohim er 300 GOOD | TORI ES OF THE DAY _ | Congregation, MR, FIEFIFTEEN MADE HIS TRAIN, WITH HALF AN HOUR TO SPARE! And then John forgets his art and , becomes a press agent for “Teasure| A WEALTHY CHORUS MAN. i PRETTY BAD. THERE'S A REASON. gremation, “Nora took « trip to Tews © Ysland” at the Punch and Judy Theatre.| “Have a Heart" played ‘Trenton Een ib ie tna ct es wan at Pela : as) land, During her absence Mats. Fri. and Sat. the other night and lco Newman Tue Have Fieri" Start iA ea tited Gen thie aeohie re OUNG Adolphus de Milyuns was) iid mentioned died. Her dust wap ; out driving his own car, He/reverently put in an urn above the was a scorcher, and believed in | sitting-room fireplace, where the ree 1 | going straight ahead, It was in the on bye ould sieae beve a 7 ’ .a | sense of the departed's presence, UE tan Roelahanie | Beare of Yorkshire when a terrified | "2% Of i Nora returned, to the | could not grant divorces, the min- | clucking under the wheels told him | surprise of Mary, who gave her @ | ister tried to dissus his visitor from| some accident had happened, He| warm welcome. carrying out his intention, | pulled up and glanced back. Two, tm glad fs seo yo back,” eald “Yo ‘emembe $a re i 5 < 7 | Mary, taking the wraps. soa oun eames Bam, that £ wis Jay dead in his track, Wee ee ee ne ack,” aatd Ne eet areal | another two were fleeing, screeching, |—then added, “Is there any chance ef > | back to home and safety, He was sitting » of the sked the for him, looked | hown the went over to see It. ELECTING A MEMBER. in the box office when o ‘The Board of Governors of thn| chorus men Amalgamated Popular Song Writers| M&naxer to of the world was examining the man| The man ‘who had applied for membership. Tho| #t the check and was t Chairman congucted the questioning. | 3oUnk man's bank book, had just | “What rhyntes with ‘baby? " f in a New York bank. nen eg caibeahed asked) the chorus man left, Leo tipped his ‘Lady,’ replied the applicant, hat. ‘Correct! Now what rhymes with at ME AT THE Gare TomoRRow MORNING , Sue's SCARED To DEATH OF A GON BUT ILL GET HER To DO IT ANYWAY! TL SHOW anne | turned to the minister who had | performed the ceremony and ask |for a divorce. After explaining tha I’p CATCH My TRAIN, EVERY MORNING Sure - I'm Gowns ‘To TRY IT I! PINS A YARN. eFauait, T knows dat; bows! resoined | BACK, £0, A comin’ to live wid ye again?” JEROME or NS A YAR a trem brevet ihetveeagaa rg Bin Tan | “That'll be i4 shillings, please,” r “There's only the one of thim hee nt! Now what rhymes with PELs eh weer. ie rie aun took hee tor,"—4 marked a burly man in corduroys, no’ said Mary, reverently, t : ed Jeff ‘Nutt, the come- appeared on t omptly; | + "8 thi oo ore, dian, a laugh last night | ssttotiad appeared on the scene promptly ‘Where's the other?” asked Ni i “Fiske O'Hara,” said Jerome, “tells “Very, very good!" shouted the en- tire board in unison. “You're one of us.” Then each kissed the new member on the forohead and the next week he ‘was made the head of the committeo on correct rhyming. GOSSIP, Louls Robie is very ill at the Hotel Flanders. The benefit performance’ at the Strand for the German Red Cross will be given in February, gpicbard Sraynakl, | now in Los} Tad, the Cohan & Harris office boy, | He's stropping hisself, suh, just | Patch. of a private who once asked an offlcer ngeles, may bring bis “Everyman” | wrote a rhyme yesterday and maile | stropping _ hisself."” — Ladi Home| Pras areal how to spell “fort.” production to New York. Gareth |\t to us before any of our friends Journal. | THE SACRED URN. “Which kind of ‘fort’ do you meant Hughes has the title role Lester Lonergan 4s arranging for the production of “Les Flambeaux," a play from the pen of Henri Bat- taille. Miriam Garces, who made such a hit in “Patsy's Schoo! Days" at Rich- mond Hill, had a birthday party yes- terday which was indeed lovely. The Rialto Club will have a vaude- ville show and dance Saturday eve- ning at the Wallace, No. me that there was in his home town an old horse so thin he could hardly stand up. The horse belonged to a huckster, One day the huckster left his son tn charge of the animal for a few minutes. When he returned the horse was lying on his side. Turn~ angrily: “‘Ah, ha! You've him again, have you? en leaning on ing to the boy, the huckster said | YOU BET, SHE LOVES HIM! the C, & With it cam ised his girl poetic ability this depart ment, so in order to keap him "so we'll’ print the rhyme. But never again! Here it is Hubbard fices could stop hi ote saying he prom ow her his WHAT You'RE To Da, Just as Soon as I ser THE CUP OF COFFEE DOWN You YELL "Go" Ano FIRE IN THE AIR — ComE ON! THAT GUN CAN'T HURT You, ALL You'VE Got To Dos {Now ov. wer eNO SHARP. HEN the train stopped at the little Southern station the tourist from the North saun- tered out and gazed curiously at a lean animal with scraggy bristles, which was rubbing itself against a scrub 0} “What do you call that?” he asked, curlously, of a native. “Razorback hawg, suh.” What {s he doing rubbing himself gainst that tree?” | | \ cae TRAINING BABY. cLLS from the nursery brought Y the mother, who found the baby gleefully pulling small Billy's curls. e “Never mind, darling,” she com- “Baby doesn't know how tt forted hurts.” | "Half an hour later wild shrieks from baby made her run again to the “Four! gasped Adolphus, “But I only Killed two.” “That's right,” agreed the fowls’ owner; “but them other two will never lay a blessed egg after th m sorry,” said the motorist, as he handed over the money, “Due to the fright, I suppose?” The countryman shook his head as he slammed the silver into his pocket. “Partly fright,” he agreed slowly; “put mainly I reckon it's because ‘they ain't hens!"—Pittsburgh Dis- | ARY and Nora had lived as iM faithful domestica for many years in a home whose only ‘s Unree-and-six apiece for the] astonishment. other occupants were two maiden la- | dies. One of these was a believer in # up in the mug on the mantel. plece.” — Pittsburgh Chronicle-Tele- graph. WHAT HE MEANT. EW theatrical celebrities are mere popular among our “Tommie” than Miss Marte Lloyd, and eke has been working very hard lately to help to cheer up tho lads in khakd) ¢ with her clever songs gnd Jeate, Miss Lioyd tells an amusing stery asked the officer, “Do you mean the ‘fought’ that you fight, or the ‘fore? ™ that you live In?" “I don't mean neither, air,” replied the “I means the ‘fort’ ‘earson's Magazine. This is the curve ‘ One Hundred and Fifty-se - HOLDIT UP AND PULL ery. i ‘ Frank J. ‘Tully ts the ANSWERS TO INQUIRIES. THE TRIGGER Why, Billy!” she ered, “What is rhe wha easures i we Shelley AN announced to act | matter with bab: it, comfort and 4 A memorial high mass will bo cele: | jn singh Presume ahe did. Nothing, muzzer," said Billy calmly, good appearance, § brated by Father Chambers at the Kenyon—He was never ticket eclle “only now he kno’ ‘Harper's. { Church of the Blessed Sacrame AVOR—He Was never ticket seller b Broadway and Seventy-first Street, Friday morning at 9 o'clock for the xepose of the soul of the late Jose- Yoealist, for two years. B, Keith's Greater New York theatres will offer Mrs. Vernon Castle in the dim “Patria,” beginning Jan at the Garden Theatre, but he was manager of that house Reiser—Dont know who played the And the paper announced it FROM THE CHESTNUT TREE 15. It shows episodes gf American Meylor Holmes and “Bunker “Reversing in the waltz is new pop- ular," ' “Yes, and a few years ago it was Just the reverse.” — HIS DEMONSTRATION, Smith, will dine with us this ‘Then ‘to his friend, "Now listen and hear how plain her reply comes back.” Mrs, Brown's reply came back with startling distinctness, “Ask your friend Sinith if he dainks Keep a Lotel.”—Washington, Her- 4 chafe shirt—waistcoat collar, CLUETT, PEABODY & CO., INC, .- MAKERS, H i R. BROWN had just had a tele- } This year's Actors’ Fund Fatr will] how should we know : office and house, and was very BERWICK 23% in, 4 be Baia RS Grane Central Plage be- sa much pleased with it. , > ginning May 12. Daniel Frohman, be * ai one ‘ OF Wee ind Chasins Burchams onl FOOLISHMENT. I tell you the telephone ts a won a } look after the general management. ‘Two shapely young women derful thing, I want_you to dine with 4 1 Joe Barrett has signed a contract] — Strigit down an embankm me this evening, and 1 will notify Mrs a to look after the professional affairs Thies emerged from the Hrown to you." Sealing it of Leonora Chanaud, toe skater and Lashieg quite oh of shane. : through the phone: Ana) 0 AL t orms Pied" ; Curve cut to fit shoulders and neck—will not cannot rise up under 2 for 30 cents TROY, ee