The evening world. Newspaper, July 27, 1914, Page 12

& 1 A Page of Comics, Sketches and Stories 4 Now Re SENSI@Le Ave! WaT AINT A REAL SHARK Yer GONNA FIGHT IN THIS FILAn, ITS ONLY A FAKE ONG WITH CLockwork TO MAKE (T WIGGLE AN DIVE. = Go ON AND Do YER pet. Tus “N@PTUNG's Son” FEM 1S GONNA MAKE f Yea REPUTATION ‘ “uu Mr, Dinkston gaged sadly in bis Jest Is ‘ F 1 tell my wife to keep : ay from those beauty ' rlor fakera, she'll only | © me worse than ev piped old man @mith, Mr. Jarr's boss, querulously. " “and if I do not say anything and they disfigure her and give her weeks ,of voluntary imprisonment and pain pw ith a tied up face, not to mention | the money they wit) take from her, ghe'll say it was all my fault!” And the old man sighed and shook his hhead despondently. “When one fights with one's wife ene never wins a battle,” remarked ‘Mr, Jarr. “If you will permit me to proffer a guggestion, 1 think we can obviate the consequences you drend,” 4 Maskai Mr. Michael Angelo Dink- ten, turning to Mr. Jabez Mudridge- Smith, “Your wife can be cured by s” “Great Scott! Ish't that form of minor surgical operation as foolish ‘pnd futile a» dimple digging by these beauty specialists? I'm eur- t you, Dinkston!” said Mr, averely, is & NEW method of cupping, i re-| empty glass, for thia conference was at old man Smith's dull and costly club, “only I'll need a dozen shirts and @ box of brass round head paper fasteners, My dancing apparel is safely stored against moth—seven dollara with interest.” “I ghall be glad to stand all the costs,” said the boss. “Anything to prevent my wife having dimples dug in per cheeks, or her face skinned, or her pretty, piquant retrousse nose dis- figured with @ Grecian bump, put un- | “HELP WANTED!” W ! LA-LA-LA LA-LA 9 Goop owe axer!$ come uP UNDER Him AND wWIELO THAT OLD KNIFE Now ff FHHAAKALAAAAADAAAASBALARAAAAAAAAAAAA Conspiracy Is in the Air; Oh, Mrs. Mudridge-Smith, Beware! Pere eer ere eer re PPP rR eee ee ey der its skin with paraffin. If she|cept cupping.” gets a Grecian nose I'll get a di- voree!"* “We'll atart the anti-beauty treat- ment right away?" suggested Mr, Dinkston. “The sooner the better,” remarked the boss, ‘I'll get all the anti-beauty shop articles Mr. Dinkston needs.” “Then we must go to a roof garden or popular roadhouse where they have dancing,” eald Mr. Dinkston. “Cupping is a sure cure for every other form of female foolishness—ex- questions, but old Mr, Sasith, who ha Profound respect for M: Sagacity to attend to rybody's business but his own, motioned Mr, Jarr to say no word to detract the hand, Jarr ; >t Mr. Dinkston’s evening at- tire and dancing pumps out of the being three in number Then Mr. Jarr bought a dozen dress shirts and round head brass paper fasteners, “I've only got one question to ask,” remarked Mr, Jarr. ‘What 'n the |mame of goodness do you need a dozen shirts and a gross of brass ’ paper fasteners for in this affair?” YQ “Why,” retorted Mr, Dinkston, as he deftly fastened the round head brass clips through the button holes ~—bosom, cuff and collar of all twelve shirts, “'doean't one need to have neat but rich looking, old Roman gold shirt studs and cuff and collar but- tons, especially if one is going out dancing night after night?” “Sure enough, the brass paper fasteners made most attractive and offective shirt buttons for evening at- Ure, “But those brass things wf! tarn- ish!" remarked Mr. Jarr. “And why @ dozen shirte?" “You throw away the shirt when the brass fasteners tarnish,” eaid Mr, Dinkston, “Efficiency! Efficiency! | The seeming dull gold studs and oo). lar and cuff buttons only cost a tenth Mr. Jarr waa going to ask further admirable Dinkston from the task in Amply financed by the boss, Mr. moth-proof storage, the moth balls! THE InCOmING Tips “Fun for the Home and the Ride Home SAN, NOUNG FELLERS, ER- cant Ya SING @ Few TUNES? ME us AND MARNS MA WOULD BE DOWNRIGHT PLEASED T'HEAR NA. »N FROG HALE Hit Wirt wr THEY SOME Prabal HEN HINTS WHEN 1 VHeY ARE FOCR Ss Paat By C. M. Payne “THum THtou7 LAD WENT IN THe OCEA AN' MADE IT RUN OVER ON ME CoprrigM. 1914 Prose Puruaning Co (XY. Eventeg World) By Thornton Fisher ~-NO-0-- BUT - -BANE -- 4 -. REAL - VUN ~-DAS-- CRAB --- anit THIS |S TECHUR ONLY {ANS 9) OMER 1 AIN'T 1N SCHOOL NOW SO SHE CAN'T WALLOP ME ! ANIMULS ANDO HA HRE IN FISHS AND THEY ARE ANIN- ERT LHEILIE FR Ss! CEES, HL Y PA COULDNT TALKLAST NIGHT, WE Hip THEIXE THROAT \ Fy Fish Tv WAS COAT BOT May TAY PPut Vouk LON) th ob Nn a) vd) On ' TH ASKED WHEN se) HFWOG IN His HIM TF OH FIYOG 1y WAS IN HIS SKID MO A IS at BAR AWAY} KOM bE IN AUNT lEe's a4 >the CO € Bad Both Ways. AUL RAINEY was describing to a New York reporter some of his adventures with lions in Nairobi, “Once, near our bait of putrid meat,” he said, “I awoke from a light doze in the dawn to find a lion actu- ally sniffing at my feet, I reached for my rifle, and, with a ‘whoot,’ the lion was gone.” a “You must have felt rather queer,’ said the reporter, “It ie strange,” sald Mr. Rainey, “put the one thing that ran through my mind was a story—a story about @ man who had stayed dut at a ban- quet very, very late, This man awoke in the cguwn and saw, perched on the | foot of his bed, an organ grinder's | monkey that had climbed in through window. city hands trembling, his eyes bloodshot, the man drew his revolver from beneath his pillow and sald: “If you're a Foal money st | lookout for you, an you’ a bad lookout for me,.’"—Washington | Star. —————_—— | Wasn’t Paying to Walk. ipP™ got on the rear end of crowded street car and was ed to steady himself against shouted the conductor as more passengers up! atreet yelled back at the con- “Bedad, I paid to ride, Do xpect me to walk all the way “Ab,” said Mr, Dinkston, ‘but look| ping cure for Mrs. Mudridge-Smith's how much you save if it were solid gold studs, and cuff and collar but- tons you were throwing away! There's where the eliminating waste efficiency. What ie a two-dollar shirt dollars oes attack of beauty p rlorit! AR Little Lester, travelling on the Con- tinent with bis mother, grew tired man, CASTORIA > For Infants and Children Secrets of the Wardrobe. HEN Winston Churchill wae running for the Governorship of New Hampshire his oppo- nents became pestiferously active, making speechos, writing letters and distributing campaign buttons, One morning @ friend sent this telegram to Churchill: “Have you no buttons for your emp- porters?" The candidate was out of town and did not get the telegram, but a pretty girl stenographer did. She sent this answering wire: “No. We use safety pins, (Signed) “WINSTON CHURCHILL.” —Popular Magazine. Soups, Stews and | Hashes | Are Selightiol dishes when Properly seasoned. Use LEA: PERRINS' SAUCE THE ORIGINAL WORCESTERSHIRE 4 Roasts, Si Bitia'eane ccs pia witeont ne An Appetizer Sold by Grocers Everywhare Wi, “SMIQUICK= / WwooD (mapRas) | | MAN | SOhLARA 1OnuU