The evening world. Newspaper, July 16, 1914, Page 16

——— 1 AINT GOIN’ T STAND FOR TO BE TOO! FoR NO HE- SERVANT NO LONGER - WHEN Your | Mm BEAU. CONRAD COYNE COMES: enae one INTER DOO! eas YOUR PA, “Hrs BEAR wur Ba A CINCH XD SUBDVE, AXEL ! WHEN “Te CAMGRA [5S READY ,You JUST Go IN AND FIX YOUR Eye ON HIS AND HeluL Lay DOWN IN A CORNER AND STAY THERE THE BEAR TAMING FUM YEAW~ HE Ktows WHAT -He'S GOTTA DO - HES AL READY swindling fortune-tellers. Now they've *Wilsoned’ with five leaves’ from the boss's wife and one ‘grand’ from the old man, A ‘leaf ia a hundred dol- lare and a ‘grand’ ts a thousand in the fortune-teller swindler’s slang, you know.” “Well, I warned Clara Mudridge- Smith!” said Mrs. Jarr. “And I warned the boes, her hus- " said Mr. Jarr. “Never mind, dearie!” remarked Mra, (Coperight, 1014, by the Pree Publssing Os, (Mow York Erening World.) “THE BOARD OF STRATEGY |“2cty beard ber," Mra. Jarr re- ‘k marked, “But I'll show her! She|Jarr after @ moment's reflection. & SAVES THE DAY. can't out me, when I have been the| it waan't qur fault, Dut well “be rot __ t rl lamed for the same, and HE boss sure gave me the pdt ina had! Cut me? The} ai because I went with Clare Mud- ridge-Smith on the foolish escapade of consulting a fortune-teller because she thought her husband's love was stowing cold when he wes stingy hard eye this morning?” said Mr. Jarr with a sib- Mant intake of his breath “Oh, being cut 1s nothing to being fred!" sighed Mr, Jarr, “Now I wish Thad taken Michael Angelo Dinkaton's that indicated he reall . with should worry. 7] advice und not tried to warn the buss| "Yes," remarked Mr. Jarr. “Why he'd get stung and stung good and| should I lose my job just because “and Clara Mudridge-Smith told |" . her maid to say she was not in when | "ty Mf Be monkeyed with Zareet r Tcalled her on the telephone. I dis. {® Occult, or any other of those “HELP WANTED!” the boss and his wife lost their money trusting a fortune-teller inly you shan't lose your po- sition!” said Mrs. Jarr stoutly. "Clara Mudridge-Smith wouldn’t wish her husbanu to khow she was swindled any more than he would want her 5 ba} DONCHA to know he was swindled! Oh, but JE I'm tempted to tell her about her BLE’ husband! Wouldn't it be a grand c f = tr! thing to twit him about all his days! yin) “\\ HD a ea = “You know, there are some of these new dances that | hesitate to at- tompt.” aa | ™ DEAR SIR. & THOUSAND PAKDONS! PRHDON MV RECENT |} ERRORS IN MISTAKING You FoR A Come ON KEEP YouR “Why did Jones name his yacht the ‘Green Apple'?” jell, you see, it’s a Cramps’ de- align” Think of him, ‘a shrewd business man,’ as the papers say, giving a thousand dollars in gold to a fe teller sleep on and magnetize!'" “yi sighed Mr. Jarr, “and tho bons is an old tightwad that wouldn't give the Archbishop of Canterbury a plugged half dollar for home mis- sions unless he got a receipt for it.” And Mr. Jarr cackled. “The bigger they are the further they fall, the meaner they are with the money the more they are maced out of!" he added. “Well, lot me see,” interrupted Mrs. Jarr, “I'll drop a hint to Clara Mad- ridge-Smith that I think it 1s only my duty to tell her husband she lost five hundred dollars, becuuse I went with her first to the fortune teller's, And you tell Mr, Smith that you never keep anything from your Wife, and, knowing he has lost a thousand dol- lars through a cheating fortune teller, |, you must tell me because you think I might believe @ fortune teller my- self some day.” "L get you!” sald Mr, Jarr. my job? Say, if busine up, as everybody says it is, I'll make him give me @ raise salary for keeping his dreadful sccret from my wife and his—for he'd think you'd be sure to tell her.” Mrs, Jarr went ever to the tele- phone and called up her whilom “Lose 18 picking friend, Clara Mudridge-Smith, ‘Whatever it she said in a low tone to the m Mr. Jarr did not on you ever attempt to ‘hesl-| catch, but in another moment Mra. jars wes very can- MEOW-wew PSS. S35 'T Camera! ENTER THE CAGE- REMEMBER - EYE ON Him Ww DE@H ME.I TRUST Nou WILL OVERLOOK =) My CARELESSNESS (| Mou SEE SI® IT fs WAS SUCH a— MAN- SERVANT? — avert! AY. DONT Have TO GO INSIDE To 'HAD SOME Foon A BURD Ler BURDS 1S RPNIMULS WICH AINT ANIMULS BECAUS THE ¥ ‘FLY AND LAY EGGS.) > HENS *LAY'E 6GS: B01 THEY AIN'T BURDS BECAUS THEY ARE POULTRYS AND. FOULS, BURDS EAD WURMS WICH IS ONE REASON WHY |-WOULDNT Like To BE AIAURD. ANOTHER RE ASOW 1S BECAVS BIRDS IS. TATTLE —-TR- LES. MA ALWUS FINDS OUT WH- EN 1 DO THINGS BECAUS ALITTLE BIRD TELLS HER... | USED TO THINK ITWAS OUR. KANARY UNPIL OUR \ITWASAHIM, Smith, “I'll | because he was not able to magnetize Jarr heard| the love impulses of my husband better | toward me one Why, ever since didly to Clair have no nor Mrs, Jarr di come over to & IL found reef had run off with my Mrs, Mud e|tive hundred in gold my husband Jarr premise in twet give me a ten-dollar bill, filling the air with her check! But it has taught she had ever thought even ly of » Vil never be swindled her dearest, sweetest, most comfort- 10 you think I'm getting ing friend in all her’ troubles! be that is why my “But my husband!” she sobbed Come, dear, and apitefully, ntow than ever! And I know that awful {sg @ swindler, not on account of the money he stole from me, but “He's a worse old bear go do the grandest beauty doctor! ting a double chin? think Iam, PLEASEI” ith me, I've heard of Am I get- ws The Invisible Seat. X-PRESIDENT TAFT, at a luncheon in Princeton, de- | scribed the diet whereby he had reduced his weight seventy-five pounds. | “Ht has been an easy diet,” he jended; “just green vegetad! fat meats and acid fruit diet. And it makes me feel as light and airy as the little man in the trolley car. | “A little wisp of a man jumped up lim a crowded car and gallantly of- fered his seat to a large, stout, come- ly woman. “She acknowledged with a pleasant smile his low bow and polite offer. ‘Then she said: “Thanks so very much—but where id you get up from? "—Washington | Star. —_—_—>_— Middle Course. | QVENATOR ROOT was discussing S the Mexican situation. “Steer a middle course,” he said to an extremist, “These extreme ideas are always wrong. “Thus, at a toa, one young girl arked another: “‘And where are you going this | summer, dear?’ ‘From the way mother talks, was to Newport, From the way father starve, But I suppose we'll steer a fortnight at a twelve-dollar Atlantic City boarding- house,’ "Washington Star, Here and Hereafter. i1E ‘Tatler tells the etory of an old Scotchman whose wit was edged with peasimiam.’° One morning he met at her gate a neigh- bor whose husband was seriously 111. “And hoo's yer husband this morn- "OR, he'a awtu bad! ‘The Gocter , the reply, ‘you'd think we were going i talks you'd think we were going to |‘ middie course, as usual, and put in a| & e taken-piace- and you. ke. ti be {shoal ont, Sailors abe ing, Mrs, Tamson?” he asked, solia- ies Don't say you | tol y jeaid his temperature has gone to 150.” “Nae, nae, you've made a mistake! Sandy's temperature could never be as 150—at least, no in this r dded, as an afterthought. Youth's Companion. Fatal Disease. YOUNG painter who had fust finished a picture insisted upon a friend calling to see it. “There, now,” enthused the artist, “you see my new picture. What's the matter with that?” don't know,” replied the bored friend, “but I should say it was a case of art failure.”—National Monthly, ____ ee An Easy Way to Increase Weight. Good Advice for*Thin Folks ‘The trouble with most thin folks whe wish to gain weight te that they tasiet on drugging their stonmch or,etuffing it with greasy foods; rubbing en useless ‘flesh creams,” oF following some footish physical culture stunt, while the real cause of thinness goes untouched. You cannot get fat until your digestive trast sagimilates the food you eat, Femarkabl now posal Gemente ¥ a + iy. Yor it when thie amasing 1 H on from 10 to oats ‘ o\,