The evening world. Newspaper, March 3, 1903, Page 12

| Publishea vy the Press Publishing Company, No. 68 to @ ‘on Park Row, New York. Entered at the Post-OfMlce at New York as Second-Class Mai! Matter. «Sh all aaa ee TE “VoLUME BB... ccecrscoesseeeseees NO. 18,169. ———————————$—$—$ PO + Phe more the light of Pblicity is turned on the ex-| $ “Portions of the Gas Trust the more urgent appears the | meed of an official invested with full power to protect| | the public against the very palpable invasion of its ) tights by these corporations. q : In the course of its investigation of existing abuses ‘and Its search for a remedy The Evening World has laid 2 * -trebled over the bills of previous months. > "The substitution of an inferior quality of fuel-oll gas| ; T?¥or the coal gas of standard purity required by law. alr, with the resultant higher registration of the meters. ‘The favoritism shown the large consumers by an un- ir discount, and the uniform discourtesy exhibited to individual consumer. _ And facts of incidental interest, such as the existence & gas trust, previously denied; the !llegal sale of gas “by company to company in wholesale lots; the profit made of 53 cents per 1,000 feet, and the dominance of @ _ single monopolistic Rockefeller control, against which consumer is left helpless. led by considerations of the public welfare. Theo- ¥ Hically such an investigation lies within the province | « the Commissioner of Water Supply, Gas and Electric-| ity. But the very nature of the legislation by which the} 9 ding companies are favored favors them further in ; ad lack of authority given this official to hold them to int. Only by granting him larger powers which will en- ie him to inquire into gas company abuses with an ority that will be respected can hope of relief be y dea the consumer. Only by legislation that will “Make him a powerful, not an impotent, representative ‘of the people to champion thelr canse against these eorporation encroachments. ymese fm the Engine Cab.—To The Evening World's previ- / ously published list of engineers found dead at the throttle ‘while the train dashed on unchecked is to be added the case of John W. Smith, killed in the cab of a Panhandle locomotive near Denison, O, His fireman, surprised that the did not reduce speed at a bridge, looked to see what was the matter and found Smith crouched over the re- verse lever, with his head crushed. He had apparently een struck by a post while leaning out of the cab win- dow. Had the engine been one of the mogul type, with the fireman in the pit out of sight, the opportunity would have been afforded for a terrible disaster. In a fact like this _ {© furnished a most forceful argument for The Evening World's. “‘two-men-in-the-cab’’ bill. ; THE SUPPRESSION OF VICE. => Various persons who consider themselves respectable of society “‘sat in” at social games of poker in ‘ Stee yor last Saturday night. How many such games there were it is not profitable to estimate, but in richly houses and in humble flats, on buhl and ma- © e family had gathered for dinner a few hours earlier the 1 of ante and buck and roodle went on to the ac- mpaniment of jollity and perhaps also of beer and “highballs. ® Whether the gatherings were iniquitous or not ta not | fo much a matter of importance as the raid on a game » at Mrs, Hentschel’s, in East Thirty-fifth street, where seven youthful “sports” were! engaged in five-cent-limit 2 er. Four detectives swooped down upon the players ‘and carried them off to jail. And on Sunday Magistrate ~ Deuel discharged the prisoners with the remark that EY “they should not have been arrested.” / This was good law and common sense. There have been too frequent manifestations on the part of the po- Hee of a desire to gain credit for efficiency by making | Bumerous wholly unnecessary arrests, Commissioner | Greene last week rebuked this kind of zeal as shown In | the large number of undeserved Raines law arrests, Also, Magistrate Crane discharged 126 Saturday-night gathered in by Capt. Gorman. =~ Many of Gorman’s prisoners had been arrested for reins present in resorts alleged to be disreputable, “1 jam trying to suppress vice in my precinct,” said the as- Captain. As the Magistrate pointed out, there ‘Wa simpler and moro effective way of closing such re- sorts, namely, by the arrest of the proprietors, This is the one method that zealous officers so frequently neglect | ‘to adopt. ». SMART SET PLEASURES. Periodically there comes a denunciation of the sins ‘fast” society, which society resents or treats with| ae it, according to the mood of the moment. Last summer it was Editor Watterson, last winter @ricas ministerial reformers of Philadelphia and St. ae 7 and now at the beginning of spring appears Miss “4 ‘Mary Dean, an Indianapolis social leader, who says: | ‘To break away from stupid domestic ties, to sever the psibilities of “prudieh,” old-fashioned precedents, to d themeelves with pleasures smacking of adventure Altogether questionable as to moral tone, 1a the unnatural ire of those in thelr fashionable clrole, There has been d in the woman's nature an all-consuming desire the low and debasing pleasures of her special smart set. fe can see the Indianapolis ladies bristling up at} @llegation of “low and debasing pleasures.” Yet to point the truth of such allegations the investigation ot! murder in Buffalo is likely to result in an of a “shocking state of affairs in the smart set”| It seems that Mrs. Burdick’s proceedings for di-| “menaced the good name" of several persons in| ‘poolety, The testimony threatened to reveal inti-| between wives and other women's husbands than platonic attachment permits, There are) feminine visits at midnight to the murdered es of this nature from @ Buffalo pulpit would have aroused the customary resentment, tabi ‘§ of Har t0 be born ANHOLE AND THE MOKE REMEDY FOR GAS ABUSES. ° THE Q Charge, bills in some instances being doubled and | < | The “thinning out” of this denser gas by compressed| & \ These revelations have been made by a newspaper| % THE OLD P. C. H. badges March 5. sirous of obtaining one must send name and address and stamp. mates chafe at restraint and en- deavor to escape, there Is another class of shiftless, ne‘er-do-well jokes, who are strong and hearty and able to work for a Mving, who endeavor to pose as old, humorous veterans and as @uch gain admission to the Old Jokes’ Home. whiskers and simulating extreme de- viltty, Old Dootor Lemonosky, the house phy- siolan, who, after a cursory examina- | tlon, pronounced the applicant, while a trifle lame, usefuiness before ‘him, turned away. tempts to impose on the charity of the identification: the South into a plano?” above the watte.’* pBr0-b-8-4x9 Tht ARREST HIM FOR RUBBERIN'. bOOOO000-600000900006H JOKES’ HOME. Orn x oy f SOM! OFFICIAL BADGE SOCIETY PREVENTION OF | «@ ORUBLTY TO HUMOR. We are promised a new supply of 8. Those de- inclose a two-cent HILE some of the ol Joke in- Such @ joke arrived at the institution ate last evening wearlng false white Prof. Josh M, A. Long called in to have several years of and he was This joke |s not an old joke and must be exposed as an impostor If it at- credulous as such, We mark it for Pretends to Be Old. “Why 1s President Roosevelt turning “Give It up." “Because he is putting the darkeys For the Cat Department, Prof. Josh M. A. Cong: Tais joke about a oat having nine |: O44 ODDO 0060004 Ox OOOHY-9 446-4 WHY DOAN Lindy cum! FOCKEFEL POOR | wh | lives, and which has lived nine times longer than This Escaped Inmate on Sight. Arrest Or i mW ‘Why does a rabbit run over @ hilit’* ause he can’t run under it.”’ padded cell In the Old Jokes’ Home. A.n'There was a dreadful accident in our back yard last night in which nine lives were lost, B.—Too bad. How did it happent A.A cat was presented with a bou- ‘uiet of bootjacks which ended the (tail) tale. THEO, SPENGEMANN, A Time-Worm Trio, Prof. Jom M, A. Long Ploase reserve three cots for the fol: lowing time-worn and weary Jokes: “lL eaw ro woman weighing %) pounds washing windows in the Fist: iron Building. She slipped and fell, ‘That was the biggest chovolate drop I ever “When does a man weigh the most?’ “Wihen he is the heaviest.” “What is that word of five letters of which when you take away two only one remains?” “Stone,” ISADORE COHEN, No, #1 Manhattan avenue, Brook!yn. An Old Tramp, Prof, Jowh M.A. Long the legal authorities they are not 60 easily! Please pension this off, ‘is as old as Hoboken: Weary Willie (taking breath while ui POLICE FoRC, FOR HANNA He -ILGHI TH WORLD: TUESDAY EVENING, MARCH 3, 1903._ : THE TT BVENTING = ALDARA LAD IARORI AIRED LOO DYOOOOD OR, HOW SWELL SAM * oe LODDEEDELSSHESOCHEOGS HHS HESD SOHHOHOOLOHHOH JES' FELL ouT OF MY AIRSHIP, THAT'S A BIG iNBY. BLACKBIRD. WHERE did You cone FROM, SAM MELODRAMA ENTITLED “THE PLUNGER: in | il i EDLGEDOPLSHIGHHOS-HHOHGHOHGOOGHHOHE DOG HGHGGHS- FH HHGGGOHHOWHOD O04 4 ¢ WENT “ALL UP IN THE AIR.” WHAT HAPPENED AT THE BIG BRIDGE. Sad Fate of a Rubberneck. i LPHONSE RUBBERINGTON, 2D., took his usual seat and omered a high Scotch. Languldly drawing out his gold cigarette case he lighted a flume with a blue nd turning to the chief mixer, drawled: TLL @ET THE WHOLE FORTY-EIGHY “| O999S999P OD BODOG tip, “If there's anything that makes the cockles of my heart ’ sit up and give the dear old Rah! Rah! Rah! it 1s to eee ) ' ' ‘one of the leer and squint insects get stung until his back done feels ike a decayed cocoanut fibre. I'm a dit of @ hot spark mypself, but I never ogle anything with real colored hair, and if it's only ono or two shades to the rich red or gilt glitter I shy until the white light flashes track clear, “I took a slant down to the bank to-day aboard a Fourth avenue. Just as we skirted the Fourteenth street rialto I no- | ticed as neat a bit of a girl slope in as the eyes would dance for. She stowed a neat bit of Morocco luggage beside her and eat back to view through two sky~blue lenses that twenty! summers and a winter or two had not cast a speok on a bunch’ pf fares that took in all the lines from the yellow shine te the rainbow stone. There was one sample, however, tha made her eyes, blink and nestle behind their shadowy our! tains. It was one of the insects. “The way he turned on the calctum wes enough to get a/ &d9OO0OOO JWGATES MIGHT STAR IN A when she stopped at the first track he asiced: i “Waiting for a car?’ id “he looked up at him calmly and replied ‘Yes.’ The easy reply shook him a little, but he drew to end| went on: “Going to Flatbush?! { “"Why, no,’ came back at htm in smooth, even voto, "t live in Flatbush,’ sy fe sidestepped for a minute and then came back: ‘Ah, but {f you will tell me where you are going maybe 4 help you get your car.’ ! ‘That's very kind of you,’ she eped, ‘I am going homet “This insect’s blood was iced and he didn't feaze. ‘ ‘But cannot I carry your satchel for you?’ he rolled opt.’ “Her eyes lighted up as she came out of her innocent dazey) but her votce didn't quiver as she returned: “'I am very sorry, my poor man, but I haven't eny change; bealde my carfare. Then this little bag is not vary teers’) Turning to a big bluecoat: ‘Please help me on this Fulton FOR CARNEGIE NOTHING DOING IN THE LIBRARY LINE. > | BODODHIDG-DFH90SHHO9-5999H06-9999H 0009000090900 00O JUST TWO WOMEN. By Roy L. McCardell. sé HY, Lauta, dear, how glad Iam to eee you! (tes). 3 But, my love, your nose Is so red, Mrs, Knox was speaking to me about it the other day, and was) gz mean enough to say she thought you drank; but I told her it: ‘was dyspepsia caused tt. “Him! Your friends know what caused their own red noses, my love—tt’s the chafing from sticking them into othen. people's business. It's nothing but the elight cold I have from visiting over here, where, since coal has been dear, they let one freeze to death, And even if it was dyspepsia, Mrs, Knox nor any one else need not fear that, 80 long as they live here. The food fsn't rich enough, But ithen, of course, dear, as I always sald, tt 1s VERY reasonable, h'mt'* “Positively, Laura, you have been lving in that cheap flat- house #0 long that {t fs spoiling your temper, my dear. I, Aa BHE8S996006-950S890 $O99H9DHHHTO eS YHEN THERE WOULD BE some $) FE OF TAXE: wonder how you can etand it, The halls are dreadful; they, WEARING O TES fairly reek of boliing cabbage." “My dear, 5 3 ‘The latest statistics show that the wealth of the world, if divided equally, would give each person $48, rn soo emi ret icc teeta ea protested against the people living here running a boarding- Some of the Best Jokes of the Day. NO SINGLES, Goodman—There's this much about ft: when you're drunk you can't expect to ¢ a single man with any respect for you. Tankley—That's right; can't exshpec' t' shee shingle man—ev'ry onesia double, —Philadedphia Press, IMMUNE, “Yes, I am going to be a baseball umpire this coming season.’ “But, you know, people say some very harsh things to um ff “Oh, 1 won't mind that, I'm @ coal dealer at present,""—Chicago News, TRUE HAPPINESS. Mrw, Nextdoor—I suppose your daugh- tor Is happily married, Mra, Nugssby—Indeed she is, Why, her lusband 1s actually afraid to open his mouth in her presence—akband ‘Tribune. 8. loading a schooner)—Say, Dusty, foam)—Why ev, Willie? we Carnegie hae that it {9 ‘e dis-| reiiers oughter spell Hoboken Hobokin, President Dusty Rhodes (while skimming tho pare Willle'Cause dea 'twould be LIMERICK NEWS, A man wrote his cook in -, Whom he wished to show how to at. p.— “Ae I'm in Cal.’ * T can’t tel., 60 1 have started t wibm house? A boarding-house in @ block hurts property.”’ “No, my love; you have the matter mixed. It was my landledy who made the protest against questionable people in those flats.” “Well, Lobtle, dear, I have euch a poor memory. I know, something occurred when they dispossessed that dreadfull woman who took morphine and who has since been boanling, here, But I had just dropped tn to see if you would care to go to @ musicale with me at the Waldorf. I'll lend you am evening gown,” “Then how could you go, dear? Besides, really, and you mus not feel hurt, dear, if I am frank with you, but thei evening gown of yours ts #0 out of style that, positively, people talk." ‘Now, Laura, how you do run on, My dear child, Iam not speaking of that old rag I wore out at your friends’ to din. i" ner—don't you remember your uncle was there ané mortified { you so eating with his knife? I wore that old thing, just before giving it to the girl, because I did not want to em~ barrass you, my dear, by wearing my g00d gowns while you would be there in some of your made-over things,” My CONUNDRUMS, The more you take away the larger it grows, what is it? A hole, What fruit does the electric plant bear? Currants, Why ts a star in the heavens like a window In the roof? A skylight. Under what condition might handker- chiefs be used in butlding a wail? It they be cambric (became brick). If I were in the sun and you ‘were out of it, what would the sun become? Sin. Why was Joseph Gillot one of the most wicked and Inconsistent of men? He made people steel told them they cid wri: Did you ever wear crocheted rubbers? If not crow sha what are they? Why ts the letter G like the sun? It im the contre of light. What {fs that which walks with its head downward? A nail in the shoe, Why was Goliath surprised when “Lottie, positively, we are too fond of each other! darling girl, {t would be a good Joke, only for the fact thag you did look terrible; I must be truthful, dear, you did. 4n@ here it was 1 who thought I was helping you out tn the matter by golng out almost as shabby as you were.” “You are a deur, sweet thing! And dt is awful kind of you, Dear mo, how dreadful your hair fe falling out!"* “Oh, that! It always did that. ‘There is plenty there, and etruck by the stone of David? Such a/ it is all my own, my dear, Which reminds me, if we are thing had never entered his bead before. | going to the musicale together please don't wear What public singer draws the best] eaten old ‘rat.’ You'll thank me for dt ves trey hens we 8. nae Be a0) et 3