The Seattle Star Newspaper, January 19, 1924, Page 8

enerere a9" fer hise ew cre stows The Seattle Star an, Nicoll & Rath Monadnock Bidg.; Chi ‘Gtim: oftts Canadian Pacific Bids Special 0 offia Boston office, oT Seventh Ava Phy Jnited Press Bervios. Representatives Ban Francieoe Tridune Bide.; New York effion Tremont Bldg. Living Longer THLETES live much longer than other people, ac- cording to an insurance company’s checkup of Har- yard stars who “won their letters” fresh air and proper diet are the keys They can be overdone, Physical exercise, to long life. > or more years ago, The one exception in Harvard athletics was football, whose players die at almost exactly the same average age as the ave over-exertion original advantage—super-strong bodies. American. Probably age counteracts their Baseball play- ers live longer than any other athletes, If he gains his freedom, Harry Thaw will soon learn that, by com: parison, he is a mere piker, Chances 'OTHING ts impossible, according to the laws of chance. That's why Lloyd's, of London, insures parents “against having twins, and actors against train delays inter- fering with performances in the next town. These “law of chance” figures will interest mothers: In America, quadruplets are born only once in every 400,- 000 births. Triplets arrive once in every 8,000 births, ‘Twins are not rare—one in 90 births. A man in Michigan—the wettes state—aays he has never tasted ‘spirituces tiquors. He must be another fossil discovery. Where They Stay Put : NOTORIOUS bank robber in Toronto, Canada, {s con- victed and sentenced to life imprisonment and 30 lashes. Humanitarians disagree with the whipping-post system, tho it unquestionably strikes terror to the sub- norma! criminal mind. As for the life sentence, Toronto _ has put at least one safe-blower away for good. When they are put in jail in Canada they stay put. A would-be _ crook, contemplating a job, thinks twice up there. Sousa has been mado a doctor of music and there ts a fine chance for him to work up a very large practice. ; Chinese Savings ING LEE, Chinese laundryman, died in New Haven, “¥¥ Conn. ‘years. It revealed that he saved $15,000 in 20 The $15,000 represents considerably more self- denial than most white men ‘would subject themselves to, Probably Wong Lee had hoped to go back to China i, his old age, where his savings would have several as much buying power as in America. He died before his dream materialized, which seems to be a na- ‘tion-wide tendency. His death is interesting chiefly _ because it answers the question, how much a Chinese Romance ARGARET BIRCH, 380, London school teacher, is on her way te a South Pacific island, traveling 8,500 files to marry the man she loves.. The island is far out Of the beaten track, so far from San Francisco she travels 000 miles by freighter, a 28-day trip. Here are romance, faith, hope, devotion, love. Mar- 's long trip is symbolic of that most important incidental. in life—marriage. Thereafter, all other things Substitutions ‘HEMISTS are busy seeking substitutes for our van- \ ishing forests. tis In a Norwegian laboratory a scien- discovers how to make artificial lumber, as hard as Industrial Gas magazine says he uses a mixture of half sawdust and half chalk and chemicals, bound together nder very heavy pressure. The product cannot decay ‘ and burns only under very high temperature. We are moving into the age of substitutes for natural resources. Hearing With the Hands THE totally deaf may hear by touch, announces Pro- _ fessor Robert H. Gault of Northwestern university. has been working on this line for several years. And almost perfected a mechanism by which sound waves conveyed to the brain thru the fingertips. experimenting to be done. fore becoming too hopeful. Much Deaf people must wait But— Every problem has its solution. Every handicap can _ be overcome. One Subject We Agree On 9-MONTH-OLD baby crosses the Atlantic Ocean id alone. His name, Ferdinand Gluck. He was ill and couldn’t be brought with his mother when she returned from a tourist trip to Germany a month’ before. People _@ the ship took such good care of Ferdy that he even weight on the way across. It strikes us as one of the finest tributes to civiliza- tion’s wonders, that a baby less than a year old can travel a couple of thousand miles without its mother. A baby, ‘you know, is the only subject on which everybody agree: ANSWERED | BY DUMBELL DUD BEC me section hand raps the tie and the other taps the rye. * eee “what kind of clothes should _ Sudiee wear when hearing a trialt— 88s. He should wear a law sult, of eee poe kind of a bonnet should a prizefihter's wife wenrt—T. 0, J. ‘She should wear a poke. eee Plenne tell the difference between ke hy _ The poor cook spolls the dish and _ the machine politicians dish the — Bpoils, % see In It a fact that there ts a constel- whieh there are two bird dogst—David Dietz. Yes. In the constellation common- ly called the big dipper you will find two pointers. Z Questions Mr. Dud Cannot Answer Of what kind of wood is an Ad- & road cross?—C. B. P., ave. N. Can you tell me whether a beer garden is a hop yard?—George Brown, Puyallup. What kind of muste is generally Played by a contraband?—B, M. G. 122 30th Do army officers ever have to drill, ofl wells?—W. A. W. If the anves of a house are at the top, where are the Adams?—T. B. -scheming out ways and Tom Sims’ NEWS PAPER Hollerdays Are Due to Arrive on Time EWS has reached here that February i due next month, Preparation saves persptration, Prepare or beware. Btart wish. your friends a cloudy yundhog day, Get some rails ready to split on Lincoln's birth day. Bo making a list of eno mies to send sarcastic valentines, Quit shaving now and you will be disguised by Mardi Gras, Save up something you can tell tho truth about on Washington's birthday, Get ready for Longfe!: low's birthday; that ls when the first spring poet sees his shadow. But February 29 will be the biggest hollerday. Then you will hear the bachelors holler. WEATHER Weather forecaster quit his Job in Chicago; maybe because the climate didn't agree with him. SPORTS Kid Valentino, the wild movie sheik of the aldeburns, has ham. mered out a book of poetry which ii a knockout. Kid swings a wicked “caress divine” and fol: lows with a swift “we kiss the Ups of the mate of our soul.” Keep your peepers open for this bird, He ls a good boy. HOME HELPS Mistaking his landiord for a burglar, a Los Angeles man shot him, FINANCIAL PAGE “T will Irve until the whole world is dry," said Punssyfoot Johnson tn New York. A man who can say that. in New York must expect to make Methuse lah’ record look like a false start. Two optimists & school teacher who held “up eacaped. ADVERTISING Write for Tom Sims’ Sug gestions, This book will ex: plain how to tell the truth on George Washington's birthday without starting a fight. Clip this coupon and send stamps to cover postage. Send no address. The stamps are what we want. Wo sell shadows for ground. hogs to ea Get one for February 2. HEALTH HINTS While a St. Louis man who fell three stories will recover, it is not a healthy habit, SOCIETY What promiees to be one of the most charming of the mahy delightful affairs scheduled for the coming beautiful spring season is a rumored fight be tween Dempsey and Gibbona, Both will wear clone-fitting trunks. These trunks will come six feet from the floor at timen, and at other times*may reach the floor. EDITORIAL Our attention has been called to the established fact that Mr. and Mrs. Soandso have company from out of town this week. No telling how pleased we are to learn such. Mr. and Mrs. Soand- fo will not fight before company. Think of the dishes this will save! ‘That's what this country needs— more company. DRESS DON'TS Never put on new socks with- out taking off your old socks. | THE SEATTLE STAR SATURDAY, JANUARY 19, 1924, “Smoked Out” In Search of the Mexican Revolution 3 teams, Jan, 1 SA'1 nave just returned Houston after two weeks Central Mexico. 1 went to see the revolution. Last October, with a hundred other Houston folka, 1 was in Mexico on a chamber of com- merce trade excursion, ‘Then everything was peace- ful. This time a civil war ts in progress. Yet, on the surface, everything seems to be tho ame. I visited five of the cities vis- tted on the trade trip, The first of these was Monterrey, Io Nuevo Leon, in the sorthern part of the republic, Nothing was changed. The unhurried people on the streets The same crowd around the railroad station. The same few persons in the cantinas The same “cervaza” and the same tequilla. At the barracks a few soldiers were loitering. If they were go- ing to war against their broth- ers, they did not seem to know it “Business {s rotten,” com- plained an American tradesman. “Bottom knocked out of every- thing. Money tight. Nobody wants to buy anything, Eatin‘ everything they got. Producing nothin’. Wish this Seyolution would stop!” ho sald. At Saltillo in the state of Coahulia the situation seemed the same. Same lack of excite ment—same lack of money— wame lack of business. AH, MAYBE THIS MEANS SOMETHING one, San Luis Potosi looked differ- ent. At the barracks across *BY FRANK GIBLER the park fromthe railroad sta- tion was a tig white stgnboard painted tn red letters “Kteerulta wanted, day,” it stated And the recruits did not seem to be coming in very fast, San Luts In the headquarters of Genoral Plutarco Ellas Cal fen, one of the principal txur in the civil war. Or in the military war, perbaps, because the clyillans are not much tn- terested. “Why, do you know what happened here when Governor Jorge Prieto Laurens went to join De la Huerta?” a resident asked. “We were left without a po- ce force for three dayn There Was no state and no city gov- ernment. And there was not single crime committed or even a drunken man seen on the streets during that time, And we have more than a 100,000 population here.” "Maybe I'll find the revolu- tion In Mexico City,” I thought, and went on down there. 1 saw a few recruits with red bands und their hats march- tng away to be soldiers 1 saw 704 (or about that number) generals going busily out and in doors the war department. The same crowds on the streeta and in the hotels, But business was bad in Mexico City. COMMUENTOA TION ny RAIL IS SEVERED 1 saw a man from Guadala- Jara looking for two cars of autos which had been en route to him when De la Huerta started his revolution. Oh, yes! CAPPY RICKS He Discusses the Genus Snob Written for The Star by Peter B. hkyne—Another Coming Next Saturday “Why didn"t you report here for uncheon yesterday, Cappy?” sald J. Augustus Redell, as Cappy Ricks came bustling into the private dining room of the Bilgewater club, “Yes,” echoed Eddie Smith, “ex- plain yourself.”" “And while doing so,” Ulysses Grubb chimed tn, “explain also, your disagreeable action in failing to have your secretary telephone us what you weren't coming. We waited luncheon half an hour for you." “I'm sorry, boys. I'll never do it again,” Cappy promised, “Tho fact of the matter is, 1 had a bad day yes terday, and forgot all about lunch- ¢on until About 4 p. m., and by that time my thoughts wero entirely of dinner.” “Did somebody put a nick tn your jbankroll, Cappy?” Redell queried. “No, I didn’t lose any money. Wasted a lot of time, but timo hasn't been money to me since I retired 10 years ago. What I did lose was my temper. I went into a clinch with one of our modern youths, just out of college, and when he let go of me, the world was topsy-turvey, I was gasping for air and on top of that the horrible thought crossed my mind; ‘What if my splendid grand von, Matthew Ricka Peasley, should grow up into ono of these? The ithought made me fll, and when I felt better 1 had no appetite and could think of nothing save ways and means to save my grandson from the fate that seems to be yawning for him. So I spent the afternoon means to Some mackerel are Spanish, some’ ayoid ruining that boy with money, carp are German, but are not most Of course I failed. I didn’t have w fish Finnish?—C. J. R, Is “Hamlet” a play about a small village?—F. O. P. -. Mr. Dud's Household Hints A company has begun the manu- facture of rubber dishes for use in families where there are rough chil- dren and careless maids. A small piece of onion added to a pot of tea will make {{ snappler. Doughnuts vill not dry out so quickly if cravenetted within an hour or two from the time they are made, Do not feed gold fish cinnamon. Ac- cording to scientists, It causes rheu- matism, Never throw away an old window shade. Paint dealens on it and use ! 1 single constructive Idea in my head, and when,. finally, the knowledge that I was helpless commenced to dawn on me, I sent for the boy's father, Matt Peasley, and askéd him what plans he had for my grandson's future. Matt just looked at me and ied: “why, the boy 1s only 10 years old. 3'm not going to do that until he gets his first palr of long pants. Why cross a bridge until you come to it? Just now I'm busier than Hiram Johnson; when I get some of my present labors behind me it will! be time enough to take on new ones.'” “I suppose you and Matt ended up in a grand family row?" Ulysses Grubb suggested. “You KNOW it" Cappy piped. “Upon my word, that son-in-law of mine would anger a sheep. I re minded him that {t was all right for HIM to wait five years before tackling the job, but hor in the name of the 12 ragged apostles was 1 to wait? He knows doggoned well I'm iiving on borrowed time—Just playing hookey from the graveyard, Why, I CAN'T wait. The ever-active present for me. I've got to take my fun whero I find it, because tomor. row they may not be able to find me among tho live onow.’* “How you tal Eddie Smith Jeored scornfully, “Cheer up, Cappy. Pull your feet out of the grave and inhale a little clear soup. What fears have you got about your prodigy of a grandson?’ “I'm afraid he may grow up to bo| a snob," Cappy admitted sadly. "And if he does,’ the little old gentleman added fiercely, “he's going to find| his grandfathers ectoplasm messing tp his machinery every timo he makes a bobble, Living or dead, I'll not stand for it, “Who was the human misfit that got you started on. this subject, Cappy?” “Another on tho long list of sons of my long list of chance acquaint. ances, friends, relatives and ene- mies. ‘This bird, whose name {s Har- old when breakfast is ready, came to me with a letter of introduction from his fond and foolish father, I have known his father 40 years and have known nothing remarkabie abdut him, During the past 20 years I have heard from the old man four times—and each time he wanted | something. This time he wanted his | son, just graduated from college, to land a job in the Ricks enterprises and get ahead in the world. When the boy arrived with his letter of in- | troduction my seretary brought it] to me to read before admitting the| bearer. 1 was on the point of telling; her to direct the young man to| Skinner, who has a heartless way of | disposing of such cases, The appli-| cant for a job from Skinner finds himself out on the sidewalk without | any tangible recollection of how ho| got there; he has a feeling that he} has slipped on a glacier and skidded, | However, it occurred to me to Inves-! tigate the old theory that kind be- wets kind, and that the tree grows as tho twig ts bent, so the young man was admitted. “Fle breezed in with his hat on his head and smiling a property smile like the head of an old fiddie, He shook my bony hand so hard I got mad; then he eat down uninvited, lit & cigaret uninvited and told me how happy he was to meet his father’s oldest and dearest friend, Ho had heard so much about me from father that he had always craved a meeting and now his wish was granted... yes, ho would cons der himself for- tunate could he but secure a modest fob in the Ricks emnloy. “I asked him what sort of a job he/| | wanted and what sort of job he was fitted for, He said he would leave that up to me, All he wanted was a fair field and no favor—just a long, running jump at anything at all, and he knew he would make good. In college ho had majored in commerce and economics, and had put in two years on forestry. He felt he was fitted for a minor the lumber business. So I asked him if he knew what a bank credit was and how foreign trade was carried on by means of it. He replied, with a confident leer, that when a fellow didn't have an overdraft he had a bank credit, provided, of course, that he had a bank account to begin with, I tried again and told him to define a trade acceptance, and he said it ‘was the letter one wrote to a cus-' tomer confriming the acceptance of an order, Sol broke the news to the young man gently, to the effect that I was an old-fashioned merchant prince who turned up his nose at business royalty to such an extent that a college commercial course, like a course in college journalism, didn’t mean much to a practical man, “I reminded him that our very best | mining engineers quite usually filed their sheepskin in a safe deposit vault and took a job mucking In a mine or valeting a compressed air drill in order to learn something practical. “Operating along those lines was my specialty, and inasmuch as he was as big as a skinned horse I of- fered to send him up to our Hum. boldt county redwood camp as a swamper, When he learned that a swamper is one who clears away un. derbrush and makes skid roads for logs, he looked very serious and said he'd like something closer to the managership in} railroad —communtcation Guadalajara had been cut At Irapuato I heard General Manuel Dieguer had captured Leon. The train to El Paso was being rerouted— stopped at Celaya and sent round the other way. Next day the papers said Leon had not fallen. But the trains didn't go on thru The train back to Laredo had been delayed two hours leaving Mexico City waiting for a ahip- ment of 2% rifles to General Calles at San Luis Tho rifles never camo, Nuevo Laredo was just the same town that the trade trip folks saw. Maybe a little more mud; that was the only differ- ence. Maybe, there fs a revolution In Mexice—but the people don't seem to know It. They will soon, Business ts bad. SCIENCE Individuality What ts termed tndividuality ts one of the interesting qualities of all liv- ing things. Of all the myriads of creatures that live and have lived on the earth, no two are exactly alike. Offspring are like parents, but they ere never en- with that flies will produce another swarm, the | members of which, on superfictal ex- amination, look like the members of the original group. But ctill there will always be a slight difference, not only from the originals, but from each other, It tg difficult to observe the work- ings of this rule with respect to some of the smallest creatures, but tt is easy to seo it in people. No two per- sons are exactly alike and no person [is like any other person of the mil- Mons who lived before him. What ts true of people in the-workings of this rulo is true of all other living things, plants as well as animals, selling end. So I offered him a Job as chopper or bark-peeler, but he re munded mo that thero were plenty of bohunks and wops for that sort of labor, so I switched to a longshore job, muling green lumber on the mill dock, He said he wouldn't mind tallying lumber, but muling it was not in his line, so I told him he would only have to stick three months to be promoted to a tally- | man; that he couldn't tally and grade lumber until he had learned umber from actual contact. He said he was aware of that (whith he wasn’t), but that owing to a football knee hed prefer something light, like off.co work, to startywith, so I said we could arrange a job in our wouds for him as timekeeper. Ho said he'd think it over, and left without shak- ing my hand as fondly as he had when entering. “What that boy had done to him was quite apparent. He wore four |college pins on the southeast corner of his vest and the pink good-for- nothing was dressed for a tea dan. sant, not a job, A un versity edu- cation had been to him merely a smoke screen to hide his obscure parentage; instead of being a human being he was a snob, a victim of frats, a superior being in his own |estimation and a suborner of mur. der outside his class. That youth had a notion that the world was his oyster because he had bogn such a riot in college; he figured somebody would open the oyster for him. He Was out for a large check, short hours, no undignified labor, with the movies and cafe dancing not too far removed. “He Was an honor man at college, but he will be 35 years oid before ho 8o far behind the race ‘that he'll get srouchod and attribute the success of the muckers he knows to luck or toadying to the boss. By the holy pink-toed prophet. I feel sorry for the boy who thinks it ought to be handed to him, He'll never know the joy of accomplishment that comes to the lad who works his way tirely similar, A swarm of butter-/ quits trying to sell himself to the! j World on that record, then ‘he'll be i + How Butler Sold Himsell Se¢ond of a Series on What's 3ack of the New Cleanup Order in Philadelphia BY LOWELL, MELLETT PLACES Jan, 19 All the world knows h Gener medley Butler gone about ning delphia. Expert cro in New rk, Pittsburg, more and Ct their heads inn't ow has cle Balt! shaken Butler's right At they say they ex an influx of crooks from Ph phia as the result of his efforts. cago have saying the way way The many arrests, say critics, doesn't an What if 943 saloons were closed, out of & possible 1,200, in 48 hours? they ask, What If many stills have been smashed and much liquor seized, what 1f places that had been “defying” the po- lice are temporarily tocing the mark, what if many gambling Joints have gone out of busl- ness? What does it all prove? They way that the Philadel- phia police force—any police force—could have done this without @ marine general ‘to Grive them. answer, of course, in that fores could have jt. but that the Philadel police force wouldn't have Gone it. ‘The Philadelphia police force bas had too much exper- lence with politics, General Butler accomplished two things by his sensational two-day drive. He got his first real line on the personnel of the police force and he enabled the police force to get Its first real line on himpelf. Hoe issued an order gtving each police Neutenant 48 hours in which fo clean ,up his district He made whirlwind tours to discover how seriously his or- ders were being taken. Many critics couldn't see that the general by popping from place to place was really contributing anything to the clean-up. He probably wasn't. But, after years of handling men, he has come t know when men are working, And when the time wan up he had the record of what each Heutenant had ac- complished. He promptly “busted” those of- ficers who had talled to accom- plish anything. “Busting” ts the police term for reducing to the ranks. This might not have con- vinéed the police department that he meant business, had not the Mst of busted men been sig- nificant, It contained one officer whom the police consid: ered the protege of Congress man William 8. Vare, the lead- er of the organization. It con- tained another officer whom po- lice regarded as the protege of Charles B. Hall, president of the city councll. If Butler could bust thesg men, the pollcs : woned, he cbuld bust anybody,’ Once this idea permeated the po- ice mind, the brigadier general had the police with him. Another circumstance had paved the way: Butler had won Superintendent of Police Mills from the start. Mills has been on the force for 20 or more years. He has reen reforms come snd go. His policy has been to enforce the law just as me much, police Dear Folks: patent cigaret ejectors—all may anna! do it”. dishes! into a college degree. Those are the boys the Ricks enterprises are tak- ing on these bright days,” Cappy silently sipped his soup and was as sullen as a broody old hen. | Suddenly he smiled his winning, pre- |scient smile. “Lots of snobs in this | world,” he began again. “Speaking jof them reminds me of the case of jold David ‘Danvers, the packer, | When old Dave retired from active service he still continued to keep his |thumb on the business to the extent | that wheneveer a new branch man. ager was to be nominated the nom. |inee would receive an invitation to jcome out to California and discuss it With the old man, Now, old Dave was peculiar, He had siarted life | a8 @ cowboy and worked up to mul. jtimillionaire packer, but he had |never lost the hablis of his youth. At his country place outside Santa Barbara he was wont to effect the mode of dress of the late Joaquin | Miller—top bocts, galluses, woolen |shirt, no necktie.’ He worked in his garden a lot and hated to change for dinner, “Well, of course, when the sum. mons would come to the fortunate ‘one, he would try to learn all he could, in advance, about the old man and his habits, and as a result, he would, nine times out of 10, report in a ratty old suit, unpol'shed shoes, the hat he wore fishing’ last year and a woolen shirt. He would try to impress the old man with the no- tion that he, too, was a democrat in the matter of dress! “One day the summons to a higher and purer life came to a college bred man whose college education had not been wasted on him. He had started asa pig sticker In old Dave's Kan- sas City plant and had worked up to assistant manager of the Cle jand distributing plant, This fellow Nothing ever makes her scrappy ay far as the rea) powers in the elty would 4 let him, and no fan ther Then, didn't the and inte the along came Bu require to prove He to let others { nouncing promi mayor's a. first political tnterf mayor he would resi Mills was co friends say he hi ignation ready to with Butler's, {f should be blocked by politics What Folks Are Saying REV. DR. ELWOOD WORCES TER, Boston! “Already there are |two Bibles, the Bible of the funda |mentalists, which nobody under stands for the reason without Jeritical insight, it fs incomprehenst ble. The other ts the Bible of mod. ern science, which is th atent | book in the world and the charter of al} social and spiritual progress, ced his own res. offer, along the fatter PROF. R. G. HOSKINS, Ohio State | university: he thyroid gland shows levidence of depression during the | warm months and of increased actiy- jity during cold. months It reacts quickly to change of diet. The prob. able function of the gland Is to serve as a slowly-acting regulator of en ergy discharge, to adapt the animal to his environment.” J. 0. WILLIAMS, expert of depart. ment of agriculture: “The mule is an anima) with possibly more eccen- tricities and undeniable virtues-than any other domestic animal. There are some peculiarities which belong to the mule alone, He does not like to be burried, wofried. or cuffed about; to try to force him to do things against his will ts practically impossible and only makes him worse.” ZANGWILL, author and lecturers “If the present condition of Europe is the result of a war for righteous. ness and to make the world safe for democracy, next time let us try war for wickedness and autocracy, MME. ILSA LINNENKAMP, wife of Austrian artist: ‘It certainly {s re- freshing to notice here how the ay- erage American man depends on his wief and how he treats her with true deference and not with the studied and rather empty courtesy which prevails in the land from which I _A ‘THOUGHT He that keepeth his mouth keep. eth his life; but he that openeth wide his tins shall have destruction, —Prov, xiii:3, , eee 'E who seldom speaks, and with one well-timed word can strike dumb the lonnacious, is @ genius or a hero.—Lavater, 20 V RIDGE MANN January 19, 1924 + It's Pollyanna, so they tell us, always sees the silver lining; knows, no matter what befell us, still the sun {s ever shining. ; she's the queen of joyful beauties —always singing something happy, while she does her Gaily duties. © +++. Still | wonder, Pollyanna, with your wistful, winning wishes, can you sing a loud hosanna while you wash the dinner dishes? Tho we often hear it quoted, “Every cloud has silver Uniting.” still the author never wrote it “doing” dishes after dining! mumps and bill colietors, bumps and bangs that Fate may Qing us, Measles, have some good to bring us Sull, with work that no one wishes, who can wave a gay ban- danna? When {t comes to washing dishes, no one does a polly- Rummy job! I always shun ft! One where not a blessing lingers; makes you wish, when you have done it, you had eaten with your fingers! Now and then a man has got to 0 to work and stagger thru it—still we bravely keep our motto, “Always let the women ++ Yes, we haven't one hosanna, oh, yo gods and little fishes! No one's r‘me is Pollyanna when they “do” the dinner Giritge Donne name was Japhet Tucker—Jape for short, When Jape reported in to the old man to be given the 83 degree before the boost, Old Dave didn't know whether Jape was a Russian cafe dancer or the end man in a minstrel show. Jape was the glass of fashion and the mould of form, at- tenuated to the nth degrees. He was as radiant as a rainbow; his raiment actually startled the democratic Dave. “The next day Jape appeared in a different rig that was as gay as the other one, only more so, Old Dave eyed him like a mean cow. The third day Jape changed h's act again and old Dave exploded and told Japs what he thought of a business man who dressed like the late Joseph, in his coat of many colors, ‘I was EO ing to promote you,’ Dave yelled, ‘but I can’t. You don’t know how to dress for the part.’ “‘T never asked you to promote me and I dress to suit myself, not you,’ Jape reminded him, ‘and that’s more than you can say of my com- petitors. And speaking of dress, aren't you rich enough to hire a man to frighten cows instead of doing the Job yourself? “Old Dave choked with rage, but Pretty soon he commenced to laugh. “Well, I have a big job and I fig- ured I'd have to fill it with a slob or asnob. You're neither, so from now on you're general manager of the company. Get into regular clot! and on to your job or I'll fire yoy, Cappy glanced around at “the company, “I/ don't think I'll let my grandson go to a university,” he de clared. “I'l! send him to the Naval Academy at Annapolis. They'll take the starch out of hm! there.” End Copyright by United Feature Syndi cate, Inc. All Rights Reserved, Re production Prohibited,