The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, February 11, 1906, Page 10

THE SAN FRANCISCO SUNDAY CALL for a time. With the tenth rose the Merrifield family w holding joyous council over the ever-increasing pile of boxes In the library, and Carrol was restless. When the fifteenth bona, fide messenger had come counting four small curiosity-seekers, who smiled murmured one’'s affianced has 1 of being, besides d more than pas: , on one's helved. 2 about “de wrong number,” expected: but s ted—Carrol was thoroughly 8 Nat prarted ¢ When, on the heels of the 3 3 it vird accredited flower-bearer ¢ J ared particularly de- et and his heart, the anger, present and in his pi well done but was ne density, John- it of the ordin- She thanked proper degree brooch and roses . cal Joker must have a " jeld declared to her- - arture, as she nib- : lips as red as the pet; A at the eighteenth rose. pr so much his other tricks, & s e he has gone too far.” if he knew old Mrs. and counted 1 the extra ones es!—there were ssengers. W little w e of the: to-day’s my birthday, and ter's scheme as quick- i I ¢ And she'll never believe ve nps t what I'm thirty-one! So, Mr. Hun- gon ve minutes, all ter Johnston, beware of an old maid's . gs, t ean nd she waved rose e mc f z of his own birthday, e e ses, © for e days later, when his man brought ye but the g t mail, Johnston’s eye was im- de ) ken by one long white en- p 3 was certainly peculiar in T T Ty OGRS OSSR SRR RGNS, tizen, Diogenes inclined hat about the best thing aid for him was that he aught yet 10 keeps on say- right along for a o ikely to get some ¢ feve him in the course of 5 : was the wease with Diog- g protected by the coun- s name, no one h 1 Honest Jim, so that he was hat grave danger his a pecullar and tragic a attempted % 8 8 R e e as soon as the general pop- yegins to call a man by his front with Honest tacked on to it, that forthwith goes out to rob an ex- n or to elope with a Sund sury, It seems that at to a canine is al- turnin m loose h an opprobrious cog- i a name t return to Diogenes; if n't he will probably approach us on the public thoroughfare and inquire 2 odging him and we, being Ny and gone—not FABLES FOR THE FOO Like many other praetical - jokers, Johnston had his “blind” side; he never suspected that any one would attempt to hoax him. ‘He took the missive in deadly earnest, and interrupted dressr ing a half-dozen times to re-read It. His first sensation was one of anger that any one would dare libel his sweetheart so. He resolved to tele- phone Carrol immediately—or better, to call upon her and enjoy a good laugh with her over the letter. Yet even while he smiled at its very absurdity, a sickening gualm of doubt, slow flit- ting and ugly as a vulture's shadow, passed over his mind., Supposing it were true? That was the most unpleasant day Johnston evef experienced. Breakfast was a farce; luncheon, “no perform- ance.” Long after the time for the latter meal, hg remembered that he had promised to spend the day with a mar- ried sister over in Jersey. He tramped the snowy streets alm- lessly, pausing occasionally to pore over the mysterious message, while po- licemen stared curiously and ‘house- holders thought of Raffles. All his jour- neys brought him back, somehow, to the neighborhood of Carrol’s home. But he could net .enter. Something held him back. At three o’clock he was at the ferry and sat himself down. with such patience as he could muster, to walt for four o'clock. “TIl see it through,” he said. At ten minutes of the hour John- ston’s heart gave a painful throb, for entered the ferry buflding. A tall, aths letic young man, with the alr.of the outlander about him—he was well dressed and evidently well-bred, but appearance, for his name and address envelope contained the following mis-. eloping with another man? Be at the not a New Yorker—followed her in. He were formed of letters clipped from sive, similarly constructed: Twenty-third street ferry, Thursday was carrying two heavy sult cases. newspapers and pasted upon it: The “Do you care to see your sweetheart afternoon at four.” Johnston confronted them, May I oD N D D N D N S S D S S B D G B DG S SN N S O SN GO 00000 G050 N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N S N N S S R G S R G S RN N R NG S0 SO0 0G0 Q) honest because it pald, but he paid be- cause he was honest. There Is as much difference between pproaching this sage axiom fore or aft as there is be- tween laying aboard an.army mule in the same manner. (In the one case you are bitten and In the other kicked out of the barn window. Those who Jaid alongside Diogenes were in danger of the former only.) Although he was engaged in the ap- parently thankless task of proving that, with the exception of himself, the world was inhabited principally by pi- rates and promoters in disgulse, Diog- enes soon discovered that there were a Every day Diogenes' outer office was thronged with the friendless waiting in line for a chance to thrust thelr funds upon him at so much per thrust. If they had ever had any doubt about the advisability of letting Diogenes etand between them and want, one glance at that gentleman was enough to dispel any lingering distrust. The want that could get' by a man of his build and physical propensity would be a pretty small and exceedingly elusive want. Then when they came in and disappeared into the depths of his 353555050 90090 90T LISH ~icnot with loose change and widows’ and or- phans’ inheritances and the real views of politicians and other valuables not often allowed to appear in public. Diogenes’ nominal business was to con- duct the affairs of a refined banking and brokerage establishment in the street where the lamb dieth not and the sucker is not .quenched, but his real occupation was acting as financial and general temporal and temporary father and guardian to various and sundry otherwise unchaperoned for- tunes that had been left suddenly with- naturally high-spirited, might resent the unkind implication. Early in his life Diogenes discovered the profound truth that while the world may deserve its reputation for longheadedness the people in it are more noted for their general willingness to believe anything that any one tells them. So marked is this tralt that there are even people who belleve the war dispatches from the Far East, although the number of these is small and growing smaller. Having found out that the majority of people are inclined to soak up what- LAS NEMO SSRGS DTSR NGO leather covered chair he would take great many people who were anxious them by the hand and sooth their rest- to hear how he did it. Accordingly he less souls with tales of what would put himself on exhibition on every pos- have happened to them if they had gone sible occasion. DId a college desire to.any one else with their troubles— some rare attraction to grace the com- and their capital. The world, as he pic- pletion of the education of a few score tured it to them. Is full of wicked brigands in embryo, Diogenes was the ever is offered to them in the way of opinions, finding it easier to take them that way than to sit. down and manu- facture them for themselves, Diogenes determined that there was at least one man from whom no one would ever out homes. philanthropie investor of other people’s money. Being a pillar (or pillow sham) of the church, a contributor to the free coal fund, whenever he thought that the list of contributors was likely to hear anything to the detriment of Diog- be published, a supporter of all g00d men with gold bricks for sale, or, If man. With a swelling bosom and an enes Brown, said. person being Diog- works, especially the kind that were that mild method falled, with vitrified amplitude of white shirt front, he enes himself. How he kept his word easy to work, and a general good citi- 'bricks of the common clay varlety con- would mount the rostrum and dilate for is the story of his life. zen, there was.never any doubt about cealed in the depths of a very cheap an hour or two on the advantages of woolen sock. Nelther kind was likely to corjniend itself to the mind of the applicAnt for protection. Of course, ‘who never &Znow on whom to rely Diogenes would it there were a and usu{flly gat flimflammed anyway. ‘ew men still in thi iness who were ) . being one of the only real, all round men of honor in existence. With bated breath the audfence would listen and applaud with thunderous sound as he laid bare the secret;of his success. As I i il his being entirely worthy of the trust of any one, and particularly of those As a foundation. for. the reputation which he desirea to erect he began to impress on people's minds the fact that he of all men was worthy to be trusted § " 8 1T MUST BE ES- g CAPING SOME- 8 WHERE. YE$ SIR! WAL £ :E IF HE # SMELL QF IT, E: 1 CERTAINLY 8 0O LOVE THE i ¥ SMELL OF 8 GAS. Umm! £ b4 % 3 3 o 32 # % 8 g {ir You SAY. boc) NOT ORLY THE PHYSIC WELL I'VE & To ST0P 1T, WHY, STAYED AWAY 8 UT IN CASE OF FIRE F":"A ol § UL, AS YOU NEAR BY You WOULD FOR A week, s AT, R SURELY BLOW UR, YES & % 8 32 8 b4 4 8 bt 8 $ Yes! ILL. PINGS # : ALLNOR] CAN'T SYAND 4 AW! WHATS THE T ANY LONGER! OH! BUT THIS GooD BUT, usE OF LIVING Like i OH! S0 WEAK, THIS? 1 MIGHT AS { IwelL eno i Al «‘; | MUST HAVE % {*e! [ I # STRONGER. 'L N i \e o . 22 o&l}?o&:fl 56 i # <OLD. T S0, OH'| % ! % oL, AW! | wiLl! CELLAR 8 1 END MY LIFE! [1L KILL MYSELF] 1 MIGHT AS weLL no! 1 waNT! [ LIVE! OH, Fogy ! UN FASTEN ymmt UuuMm’ oy} JUL BE WITH Y00 IN JUST A MINUTE, HAS. JUST AS SQON AS 1 GET A NiE LOAD OF JHIS. ITS GREAT CHAS. GREAT) HERE 1T 15, 1 wouLp HAVE HAD A 00D TiMe HERE AT HOME. 1 Love HY GAS TOOWELL, UMM! SMELLS GooD!| A WEEK YOU ARE Mis- TAKEN. MR . KIBOSH CONSUMED THIS GAS LIKE 1 DO. | COULD INHALE STUFF ALL DAY, 1 LOVE IT'1 Love (T} AWT TM GOING To SToP IT. | HAVE SYOPPED. I'M JUST INHALING ENQUGH To QUIET MY NERVES. TAPERING OFF, R s LARS AND SIXTY FIVE CENTS. SHALL 1 PAY T, MR, KiBosH? AH! NOW | CAN Go AFIER IT RicHT) RIGHT FRESH FROM THE STREET MAIN. GAS 1S ToO WEAK FROM A HALF INCH PIPE. THIS IS MORE LIKE T, BUT QH! | AM SUCH AN AWFUL FIEND THIS 1S FEARFUL e = A W W\ 4 "COPYRIGHT. 1905, BY THE NEW YORK EVENING TELEGRAM (NEW YORK HERALD C0J RN RN NS00 000, 'LL NOT GO HE DOCYo! Anlm ™M DONE FOR. I'LL KiLL MYSELF I'LL STRIKE A MATCH AND THEN FAREWELL To THIS MISERABLE BXIS O ® N (I I Carrol, rosy from the searching wind,’ M0 ask what this means, Carrol?” he asked quietly, The girl halted and seemed to shrink from him. The athictic stranger step- ped forward: “And may 1 Inquire how it concerns you?" He a4 raise his voice and the attent one of the jostling scores was attra to the group. Johnston ignored him Did serve this, Carrol” he went on you'd ask, I'd rélease you this letter—" The girl had determined him thoroughly, but at t si weary, troubled fac “Do you know blithely, “I'm proud of avolded telling a lie in it, one, although I came pretty fibbing, didn't I? But 1 blistered my hand cutting out those letters. Wasn't it a real sweet little birthday xift?” Doubt and - dawning comprehension struggled id Johnston's eyes. “But, why—why—" he began. “Why—why!” mocked his sweetheart. her head'tilted saucily, a roguish smile on her face. “Just to show that two can play at practical joking as well one. Thirty-one messenger boys, si You should have a 'whole month of anonymous letters.” “But this gentleman,” he waved his hand toward the athletic stranger who appeared to be enjoymg the convers tion overmueh. “My cousin,- Phil Hudson, of Omaha, Mf. Johnston. He came last night, but could only stay with us a few hours.” “You were the vietipi of a base con~ spiracy, Mr. Johnsten,” laughed Hud- gon, as they shook hands. “I beg par- don.” “Oh, nothing of comsequence re- sponded Johnston, “T just sald ‘Stungr ™ (Copyright, 1906, by Ruby Douglas.) When I got & punish of his nterrupted hat letter? I8 even a white se to he told It, it was only a matter of pay- ing your debts and keeping your word —and anything else you could lay your hands on—a thing so unusual that peo- ple were willing to pay large prices to see it done. It never seemed to occur to him that by giving away the game he was in danger of Increasing t graft of hones to an injurious extent. His only appeared to be the e hard condition of nive incidentally the in- crease of h business. This leads us rel ntly but firmly sration and eir accustomed \emselves and . the world was Mr. Diogenes known financler and 1 departed for Cana- t train bearing with >t the tearful and had da on the m him the capit doubly bereav timized tion and Then there and cries to tive agenefes, enes was finall and the trust him not wisel companied him ir This tea probably forget morning, that a needs no pr agent last resort coupons and not h hot alr are the, final test of h (Copyright, 1906, by Albert Diog- RS IORNORG66505% MGORORON