The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, April 30, 1905, Page 10

THE ) AN FRANCISCO SUNDAY OF O BY OPLE the £ the 3 3 R e ) town now de paper signs of spring n de country to see a of it, for window of our house w f houses in de next stree ening close noon out,” says business in Manhattan.” e el us stroll up off de 4 see has ¢ bout dem, and wol swes Well old 12 We see; avenoo dere park d or two, was unde to de we and we » find some of de of me a wink t dat dat we of 1 2 it to our e Duchess . and she plays de ga game of de is fun or funds i de way for too; ke wed dat” looks she tur good st Duchess so at de same old dat 1 straight mug on her. me fren, “I has just hoid tousand dollars in a lot- say dat 1 win a tery, and am going around to coliect me money, but 1 had to take a peep at dese dear buds foist.” Duchess she nearly weeps wit sym- pathy for de sentiment of de good man, and I says I was glad to hear he had such good luck, for all de money I had in de woild was about two hundred dot- Jars, and anodder tousand would give © me a chance to buy a stock of goods for me hotel in Cohose, and dat was what we was in tewn for. Well, at dat, 1 sees de gent give a signal for anodder gent of de same kind, who was looking for green tings, too; and de new gent comes up in a hurry and he gives our good fren a telegram telling him he must hurry to catch a train, or lose a chance to get LIM JUCKLIN AT THE THEATRE e Py . “CHIMMIE and Duchess, where de reporter says dat butling into de landsca where de landsc: de only nd go to de dose signs of spring come over de ferries and k up to de park and take d tings dis reporter says can be found if you has your was all right, but de only rubbers hard goe odder tings de landscape s we from de country, and time comes gentle Annie. ist at being mistook for give.him a joit, but den I remembers o Duchess, and s homesick was going to buy a 1otel to stuff a bed wit. nbies den dat we w me wit all her heart sight. dat mug snuggles up to us made him-—but only almost. and was out in de to refresh himself wit de foist peek at any- like it could grow out of door: s up her eyes and gives a sigh, gent was almost as good as de country itself; for if one couldn’t see de real cow pastures, de next best ting ivas to meet o dat loved em we did. My, my! how dat sure ting gent did smile. He goes on to tell us dat he k dat made his stay in de wouldn’t grin nd I seen dat it was hard even for dat fiy goil ~JOTTINGS LD R EAID. "HE TOOK P1L1% HAT AND PULLEpP OUT pABY CLOTHES r1LL 1T LOOKED LIKE A WEEX'S | WASHIN 99 she sees e out ape grows. It make landscape we s2es windows s de back Duchess, “so let us park and see de any d pipe gus of spring in de buds s. But r de ¢ rri 1d s rubbering p-chee > hard orter dat a mug ws a farmer for de countr) load up against kind when she gets He says he just Duchess, d says dat de story, I had to toin me stupid home before his good old modder,died. - You should seen our gent at dat. “What ever will I do wit me winning lottery ticket!” he says. I must go home to me dear! old modder, and I would scll dis ticket for a couple of hundred dollars if I knew where to find anybody dat was wise to get such a good ting.” Duchess, she nearly pops her eyes out of her head at dat, and she takes . me 10 one side like she was telling me to get in on a good ting, but all she was doing was trying not to laugh . use of such a word is not known, but the genius of the country editor lies in the utterance of the unexpected.” “Well,” said old man Brizinting, mop- ping a hot biscuit into a plaster of molasses, “T reckon you went to the revival you so spoke about.” Yes, 1 was” there both carly and late,” Limuel replied. Putty good preachin’ at the reviv- " Brizintine inguired. “Preachin’?” “Yes, Didn't you say it was a re- vival?” hah; but it was a Shakespeare Tt was what you might call a Old Aunt Becky Wigglesworth raised her hands, “Limuel, it possible you went all that distance to a shoy? I ghould think you had lived long enough not to want to see a feller dressed scapdlous furn a back’ard summerset through a hoop with a piece of paper pasted over it. But my, you can't tell about the men these days. I don't reckon, however, théy've changed very much. 1 recollect that shortly after me and Mr. Wigglesworth was married Wwe went to a circis—and when a wom- an dressed as no daughter of mine would dress——unless mebby she was a 8oin’ in a-swimmin'—come out and be- gan to flop about on a hoss, I says to my husband, says I, ‘Dan’l, it is time for us to go.’ And he says, ‘Well, no, not as long as this sort of thing keeps up.’ Said (hat to me and we hadn't been married more than three weeks. Did they have the sacred ox, Limuel? “No.” Lim answered, “they didn't have any beef cattle at all. This wa'n’t j circus, Aunt Beccy. It wasa theater, a play. “'Oh, somethin' like old Sister Phe- by, how merry was she? I should think you was too old for that sort >f cavortin’,” Limuel. I lay you didn’t Zo with him. Susan,” she added, ad- dressing Mrs. Jucklin ““Dounle deed I didn’t. I had some- thin' else ‘on my -mind. The hens are a-nestin’. Lim has been tryin” to tell me about it, but I caa’t make heads or tails of if. X “At otr college,” said the preacher, “we performed a Shakesoearian play —with certain eliminafions. I well remember the declaiming of young Oscar Pruitt as Hamlet. Ah, but the applause he received was his ultimate downfall. It lived in his mind and years afterward he shamelessly de- serteq the pulpit and toek to the stage. But in a godiess town where he made his first appearance a minion of the evil one struck him between the eyes with a goose egg—in the sol- iloquy scene—and he was so mortified that he fled to the Mississippi River and spent the remainder of his life in playing poker on a steambeat. ' But what play did you see, Brother Lim- uel?” “Macbeth. I had read it over and over many a time. I could see night Scarfin’ up the eye of day—could see the bats skimmin' the dark edges of the comin’ night and could hear the screech owls. 1 could hear the wind mournin’ among the winter-stiffened iwigs of the trees—could see the ocean turnin’ red as Macbeth tried to wash the blood off his hands—could hear the poor wretches mutterin’ in their sleep as Duncan's gore was smeared on their faces—could see and hear eyverything. It was real. But the thing I saw in the theater fell short. 1 knew that the walls were canvas. And then I thought of a great fact, that Shakespeare carried his scenery between his lines, that he threw a valley, a hill into the mind and made it live, a reality. This play 1 saw was overloaded with flimsy things, flaps that shook—and the men and women didn't make me believe they were in earnest. I'd rather read it, for then Shakespeare acts it him- self and we know he was in earnest and believed it was all a truth. I waited for the utterance of the great ideas that sometimes in the dark of night when the wind was a-blowin’ and the creek a-roarin’ had pulled me up out of my.chair; and I looked for- ward to the wonderful pictures that in my loneliness had been flashed upon me, but they didn’t come, the jdeas nor the pictures. There wa'n't no—I hardly know what to call it— NS B BN BSNS54 P e e while she whispers to me, “Surely, Cheemes, dis is 100 e but we can make good use of a fiver dis- sweet £pring morning. Go ahead and woik de gent.” Weil, 1 goes back to de gent and I says dat me good wife was willing to give 'em two hundred dollars for de jottery ticket, for to let him hurry home to his old modder before she died. Bete de sure ting gents ‘had ail dey *could do for not to show what a soft game dey tinks me and Duchess; but dey makes a good bluff at it, and says, how would we pay de money. I says dat we has just $205 left in de bank, and would give em a check for it all, and coilect de ticket, and go about our shopping, and not be troubled wit go- ing to de bank any more at all Dey says dat was a good plan, not tb have any more to do wit de bank; dat dey would collect de money on her check, and we could go about our busi- ness wit no more bodder, & When I calls up Duch good she gets cold feet. she know dat de ticket “was wort a tousand dollars?” “Let me see it,” says de second sure ting gent, llke he was a bank teller “himself. “I will settle dat in a minute.” Well, he takes de ticket. and he toins it over and upside down. and pipes it off hard to be Ssure_ dat it wasn't a counterfeit, and he says, sol- emn as a judge in de Tombs, “Dat's all right, fren. I'll go wit you to de lottery office if you want, and see dat de cashier pays you witout no trouble.” Den Duchess says dat it wouldn’t do. after all. We had ten dollars’ wort of shopping for to do before we could collect de ticket, and de chanze of five from her check of $205 wouldn't be enough. She puts up her checkbook in her ridicule, and says to me for to come away, quick, for she didn't quite be- lieve it was all right. At de sight of de checkbook, which was de real ting, and showed where Duchess had made checks, de gents' mouts was watering like a’ bull pup's at de sight of a plate of chope. and dey looked like dey could murder Duchess when she put it away. “1 tell you what I'll do,” says ment number one. “I hate to let dis lottery ticket go so cheap, but. give me de check and I'll give you de $10 in ready money you néed for your shopping be- fore you get de ticket cashed.” : Duchess . she takes me aside again, and she makes a bluff of arguing dat she ought not to do it, and T makes out like 1 was urging her to'do it, and all de time she was whispering: “Oh. it's tao easy! We should stood out for fif- teen. But perhaps dey has not got much . real ;money. Here's de ,check. Cheemes. You: finish trimmin’ ‘em: I can’t’ kéep fromr laughing.” ‘Well, p-cheé, she takes out her spout- DISCOURSES here wa'n’'t no joit. I didn't get :ClredA 1 didn’t feel like somebody had jumped out of the dark at me. ~Then you were disappointed,” said the, preacher. “YI:)s. for T didn’t meet the a;?pointed thing on the hilitop. I couldn’t climb tbe hill, for it crumblec under my feet. The woods moved up toward me hk,c shadews. Mebby I'm toe old—I den’t know. But after I got back I tock down my book and turned to the pla and the first thing I knowed there was that somethin’ a-creepin’ up my back. and I lived i it again. Yes, I'd rather play it myself. Then the old castle is made of real rocks. Then I can look away up and ste the banners tioutin® the sky an' fannin' the people cold. I reckon that is what you u&]! imaginaticn. But too much paint an cloth kill it. There is too much of a label everywhere, tellin® you what it “I like a right good slight-of-hand show,” said Brizintine. “There was a feller cver at our schoolhouse ‘one night not long ago that could call the cows home, 1 teil you. He swallowed a knife as long—long as a stick of stove wood. And he done the furniest thing you ever seen. He called on somebody .to go up on the platform, and Bil Hancy he went up and he tovk Bill's hat and palled out baby clothes till it lookcd ‘like a week's washin'. Oh, he done a good many things—about as great a man as I ever saw. And now mebby he could have helped your show out, Limuel, Wouldn't you have liked it better if ' few of them sort of tricks had been put into it? That would have made it look real. Why, you couldn’t ketch . this feller, a-lookin right at him. Talk about things bein” real! Stuck.a butcher knife through his arm and there it was—beat up a gold ring and put it into a pistol and shot It inte the middle of a lemon— and it come out, 'gad, as good as ever and with a ribbon tied to it. Why, Miss Sallie Lane's got the ribbon till now, and it's a real ribben, too. Don't you think would have heiped your show, Lim “Yes, he might have kept some of them mush-utterin’ fellers from talkin They talked as no human bein's ever talked o2 this earth—and the faces they made at each other would sour a mornin’s milkin’. But-they had some right good fiddlin’. They played all the evenin' and didn't break a string. Dock Spillers, over here on the creek, would have broke five or six in the same length of time. But I guess they must be better fiddlers than he is, but I believe he can play louder. Mebby it is because he generally has mure room. He scts out on the shed and plays. Yes, 1 was disappointed in my trip. All of my life I had been a- lungin' to see Shakespeare played. But turnin’ from the book to the actin’ was like puttin’ aside the Bible to listen te some jim crow of a preacher—I beg your pardon, parson. I mean one of these fellers that answefs when the Lord has called some one else. No- body likes good preachin’ better than 1 do. But I want sincerity. I want to be convinced that the preacher has himsclf been eonvinced. And that was what them actors didn't de. They didn't make me believe that they wa'n't actin’. They didn’t tell me the truth, and you may have all the music and ail (he pictures and fail to tell the truth and you have accomplished nothin'.” 2 (Copyrighted, 1905, by Opie Read.) o} . ing pen, and she writes a check for $205, 'and signs it “Mary B. Green,” and 1 take it over to de gents, and I says like I was giving up de last plunk we had on eart, “Now, gents, I must have your woids of honor dat dis is on de level, and all right: for if we only gets a temner out of dis, and can’t collect de tousand, we are ruined.” Dey gives me deir woids of honor so hard dat I knew den, for de foist time, how de real farmers are fooled. Honest, it did sound like dey was tell- ing de truts! So I says, holding on to de check like I hated to part with it, “Well, give me 'de tenner and we will hurry away about our business.” On de level, dey was so keen to get dat check dey passes me over a good tenner before dev looks at de name, and his mug fell a mile, and he says: “Say, young fellow,.ow about dis name It sounds a little on de blink— Mary B. Greed. Is dat straight?” “Would you doubt a lady’s woid?” I says. “Anyway, I can prove it. Here is Officer Kelly I used to kndbw on de’ Bowery, and he seems to want to have a look-in on your game, at dat. He'll tell you wedder our name is Green or Fadden, or what t'ell. Hello, Kel?” I says as de copper comes up. ‘“Dese gents has just sold me a gold brick, and- ” ' “Stung!"” says the foist gent, making .. a swine at me coco. But I ducked; and I couldn’t help Kel, for T was near dying wit laughing. But I picks, up de Mary B. Green check de mug had dropped and puts it in me pocket. As we were strolling down de avenoo again, enjoying ourselves affer a good look -at dJe sights of spring, Duchess says, ““Cheemes, you did your part of dat trick very well. Give me de ten~ ner.” “Excuse me. me dear,” I says, “Pll do better dan dat by you: here is your check for $205. Keep it, and be a guod old lady: and when you get rich re- member dat 1 started you in your for- tune.” But she wouldn’t stand for dat, and de best 1 could do was to hold out five of de boodle. When we gets down by de hotel district dese same two mugs sees us. and dey comes up wit a sorry 8rin, and one of ‘em says: “On de level, boss, dat was de only long green we hed, and de price of a meal would come in handy. Let us have five of it back.” “I can't,” I says, “for I've beem touched already. But here is a quarter, g0 and have a banquet, bote of you.” Dey took de yuarter, and den one of ‘em says: 'Boss, we takes our medi- cine, .but. for de love of heaven, what did you wear does close for?" “Dese is' our garden close dat we wears at our country place. We .wore ‘em’ dis morning because we was out looking: for sreen tings. ! Tata."—Copy- m«_-;xm.-.w Edward 'W. Townsend.