The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, April 2, 1905, Page 7

One day in an he turned the owd of China- mood saw felt shoes and air ‘twas then,” for all the world had spouted in a I don’t know why I re than the man in the m idees thai at through ten seconds. right over the was a mighty kind- when that crowd of gobbling began to e several g off at oncet, egs I hadn’t he was het gargling, but just ded into me my pedi- er down to sn't a respectable g to him. and I made a swipe ut he was too nd of all the lickings e one I don’t want most. He did a sort e fandango on my he brought my legs into with a sluice rake. asked me if I had had him I thought it would for the present, because, as a mat- of if all I had more than ugh was money In the bank, I would not have done no more work for the rest of my days. So then he calls me up and gives me my time, and I must say he treated me square when he said goodby. ‘You're the best darn man on & itor lever that I ever did see,’ says but enywhere else you're the fool- combine of small boy and dare- devil, and some other gueer thing that I don't seem to be able to find a name that ever cumbered this earth. Now, get the —— out of this, and good ack to you.’ 1t feel a bit sorry for them Chinamen—they’re only hairless mon- keys that don't even know enough to wear their tails in the right place. Their arithmetic proves that It's reg- 1lar monkey figgering. They haven't any pumbers that look like numbers at all. Buppose you want to multiply twenty-five by thirty-six, Chinee sys- tem? First you put down a rooster's foot track; that's twenty-five. Under- neath that goes the ground plan of & small house; that's thirty-six. Then you take an hour off, and work out the sum with a lot of little balls on wires; then you put down the answer, and what do you think it is? Why, it's a map of Chicago after the fire! S8hucks! And they call themselves men. I'd go old Job three bolls to his one rather than have any Chinks around me. “Well, the boys labeled me Hydraulic Smith from that on, and I went pros- pecting. Took up with & feller named Agamemnon G. Jones. Aggy was a big, f Jooking man, with a chest like & goods box and a set of whiskers would start hfm in business any- here. They were tne upstandingest, blest, straightforwardest outfit of hiskers I most ever saw, and how e to grow on Ag is & mystery; v stood him in many a dollar, you that! . He was a gan of pretty consider- education in some ways and he i make you believe that to-day last Thursday a week ago if you weren't on to him. At this time he was kind of under a cloud, like myself, and the way it came about was this: ‘Hm started an assay office when he r truck the guich and he used to g in results according to the looks the customer. If the man looked tender around the feet Aggy’d knock t to him, and probably the shave-tail 1 be so pleased that he would out an extra ten; but if he was ) y vented 2s one of the boys there would be just enough pay in the re- turn to encourage him. “Next he took up engineering. He hit & blame good job on Castle Creek, in the Black Hills. The people wanted to turn the creek through a tunnel, so that they could work the bed, and at this point it was rather an easy busi- for. pt PE gy e e kS ,; — il - o EE TE D nese. The stream made a ‘U’ about three-quarters of a mile long, the bot- tom prong being at least a hundred and fifty feet below the water level on the top one—a smashing good fall—so Aggy started in on the down side to bore the hole up. Well, everything went lovely. He'd come around with his plans and speci- fications twice a day and draw his hundred once a week regular for his great labors. At last, however, the shift-boss said they must be getting pretty near water; he ‘gould hear it roar through the face of the tunnel, he said. But Aggy told him not to be alarmed; he had it all worked out, and they weren't within forty foot of breaking through. “So at it they went again, as cheer- ful as-could be, and the next news they got down comes the face/ and they were being piped through four hun- dred foot of black. dark tunnel, trying to guess what was up, bumping and banging against the walls and the whole of Castle Creek on top of them. “My Chinamen weren't a circum- stance. Aggy said they boiled out of the lower end of the tunnel, where he was standing, so fast he couldn't recognize them, and, as a matter of fact, three or four of 'em were washed a mile down the creek before they could make land. “Aggy -gathered that it was time to move again, so he pulled back for Ida- ho. There wasn't anyhody really drowned, except old Tom Olley, a cou- sin-Jack, whose only amusement in life was to wear out his pants laying low for cinches in the stud-poker game, and you couldn’t rightly say he was any loss to the community. So Aggy used to regret sometimes that he hadn't stayed to face the music. They might have played horse with him for & while, but "twould soon have blown over—miners not being revengeful by nature—and he was to have had an eighth interest, besides his salary, it the thing was a success. “But there was no good of crying over spilt milk, and us two went pros- pecting. ““We located for a permanent stand down on Frenchman's Creek, near where thres of Cap Allys'' greaser sheepherders had their camp. They @id our hunting for us, and as there was nobody but them around, and they were the peacefulest people in the world, we didn’t feel the need of any gun except Ag’s old six-shooter. That ‘was the cussedest machine that ever got invented by man, ‘““When you pulled her off she’d spit fire in all directions, filling the crotch of your hand with powder burns, and sometimes two or three of the loads would go off at once, when she'd kick like & Texas steer. . There was much talk of bear around, and we were al- ways going to buy a real gun some day, but we never got at it. “Well, we prospered pretty well, con- sidering how little we worked. A large part of the time was taken up with playing monte with the herders, and still more in arguing questions about religion and things like that; but we had a decent cabin built—with the kind assistance of the herders+and as we struck a rich little streak that run out $10 per man a day with no trouble at all we were in clover. “At last our stock of grub ran low, and Jones slid up to Salmon City to load up again. It was quite a trip, and as I didn’t think it was square to work while Aggy was away, I took up with the herders. They were the decentest folk I ever struck. Play a little music on the guitar, sing songs that always wound up just where a white man's songs would begin, and tell stories and smoke cigarettes—that was the layout for them. Old Cap’ Allys was & Chris- tlan, and ke wouldn’t let a man herd sheep.all by himself—surest way to get crazy that ever was invented—so he sent the boys out three in & bunch. > G, o tam “Those fellers had the darndest lot of fairy tales I ever did hear. And superstitioug! Great Jupiter! Any littlg blame thing that happened meant something: this thing was good luck; that meant bad, and if you tried to Josh them out of it, they'd shake their heads and look at you as if they thought you weren't truly religious. “One of their yarns was about El Diablo de Fuego, ‘The Devil of Fire, which Miguel said ran in his family. Seems that when anything wrong was about to happen, this blazing, ripping monster showed up as a warning. I told Mee that I thought the monster was misfortune enough,| without any- thing else, but he was scandalized, “‘Psst!’ says he. ‘Do not spik sooch t'eeng as dthat! Ay, di mi! Jesu-Maria mi Cristo! Jesu, muy dolce y poquito! Dthat mek heem arrrrrive dthat een- stant, eef djoo spik weez dees-rrree- speck!’ “‘All right, Mee,’ says I. ‘We'll let her go at that—todo el mismo por mi, sabe? But how’s the bear crop? “‘Ay, caral Is plenty goddam ba- says Pepe. ‘Keel three—four ship las’ nigh’! That mek that two mus’ seet oop for watch, an’ all ship mus’ be in close-corrrrallll! I speet on the soul of that ba-arel” . “Gad! that wasn't cheerful news a OT until one stops to think about it does he realize what an investment he has in his name. He can sell his home, throw away his coat, disown his wife and children, renounce his friends— but his name sticks to him like his skin. And when he does actually part with it and assume an alias, it marks the degradation of his whole nature. A woman, also, thinks long before she surrenders her malden name, but in her case it usually measures the depth and self-renouncing quality of her love. It is not an absolute aban- donment of the name that has been hers from babyhood, but rather, in most instances, let us hope, an added glory to that name, No one really likes to have his name forgotten or confused with somebody else’s by those who might properly re- member it. When a man tells you that your face is familiar, but that he can’'t for the life of him recall your name, you are always a bit sensitive, though perhaps you try to smile back at him. For, after all, when a man does not remember your name, he does not really remember you. Your per- sonality lacks just so much of being well defined in his thought. For these names of ours come to be an inherent part of us. We shall be known by them forever. They gather up and ex- press concretely the elements of our personality. Without them we might as well be jelly fishes, And yet, notwithstanding thelr great importance to us, it is a little singular that we have so little choice THE SAN FRANCISCb SUNDAY CALL little bit. If there's anything In this world I more than don’t like, it's & bear—he’s so darn big and strong and unreasonable, and unless you can catch him sitting, you can pump lead into him until you're black in the face, and it's all one to him. Well, I thought I might as well camp with the herders until Aggy came back. Sy “When he did show up he was rather under the Influence of strong drink, and from the looks of the wagon he'd brought with him, I should say he'd bought about everything that was movable in Salmon City. I ain’t easily astonished, but I must admit that some of the truck got the best of me. I kept asking, ‘What in — is this, Ag?’ and he always answered, ‘Ask the driver.’ Well, now; if there was any choice be- tween the two, the driver was drunker than Agey, so you can imagine what a lot of satisfaction I got. There was one thing that I simply couldn't make head nor tail of,. and I stayed with him until I got an answer on that. ‘ ‘Why it’s an alcohol cooking stove,’ says he, ‘great medicine—no trouble to cook now at all. Just light her,’ says he waving his hand, ‘and whoop! away she goes! Where's that can of alcohol? Here she is! Have a drink, Hy? “I took a small swig of it in a little water to please him, but there weren’t stimilants enough in the country to raise my spirits that night. I put all the plunder that I could lift up in the cock-loft, and the, rest I left sitting around, “‘I don’t exactly know where you fellers are going to sleep,’ says I, try- in the making of them. Other people, ezpecially our fond parents and grand- parents and maiden aunts, fuss a t deal over them, ransack the lexicon, ‘weigh carefully all possible combina~ tlons, but they are fastened upon us long before we have the slightest idea of their significance. And once in a while an infant is loaded down with a name which is a real affront to its individuality. I heard of a little black maiden the other day who had the re- markable name of Chrysophrase Spin- naberry. No wonder that some persons A Word or Two About Names By The Parson thus weighted down go to the courts when they reach years of discretion in order to get rellef. — But though we may object now and then to our given name, we usually have an inheritance in our surname which ought to be an inspiration rather than a burden. Most persons come of worthy parentage, and a name is tached to them which has stood virtue and honor. A boy or gir], as & rule, can start out with no better in- heritance than the family name. A ing to be sourcastlc. ‘Pity you didn’t order a folding bed, Ag.’ “‘1 did,’ says he. “‘A folding bed?' I repeated, not be- Heving my ears. “‘And a piano,’ says he. ‘What is home without a plano? Answer: It's a place that can’t hold the forte—dam good joke—keno—go up to the head, Jones.” “Well," things, this?" says I, after some other ‘who’s going to pay for all NZIRY A ZIIJIE K Y ZHE GITIAR, G SONG> L2 SKHORE clpaREIIZS" AR “‘God knows,’ says he, waving his' hand again. ‘Good night!’ and with that he fell down bureau and a portable bl mith's forge, and, putting his head on a con~ certina, went sound to sleep. “I couldn’t follow suit for some time; it's one thing to come home full of budge and animal spirits yourself, and it's quite different to have your pard= ner work it on you. At last, however, I concluded it would be all the same next century, and turned in, but I was so rattled that I forgot the bears and didn’t lock up with usual care. “¥t must have been about 2 In the morning when I woke up all in & tremble. I had the feeling that things were away off, but I couldn't place ‘what was the matter until I looked at the square of moonlight on the floor that came through the window, and I came near to screech like a tomeat, for thers was a monstrous black shadow bobbing back and forth in the patch of light, I drew on my bank for all the sand I had and raised my eyes. By My heart fairly Nicely framed all the Mormon gods! knocked my ribs loose. frjend often says to his large family of children, when he leaves them for a week, “Now remember that you are all Smiths.” (Smith Is not the real name, but it will answer for purposes of il- upon them the need of keeping the family name stainless and passing it on to those who come after shining with added luster because of what they themselves have wrought in the world. And so, while In a measure our names are thrust upon us, we have a great deal to do with making them stand for something worth while. There was a time when the name Abraham Lincoln carried no speecial significance, when the mention of the name Florence Nightingale touched no other hearts to reverence and grati- tude. Your name may be little known to-day and it may never be illustrious, but you can coastantly add to its dig- nity and worth, you can make it sig- nify absolute sincerity, fidelity to small and large responsibilities, consideration of others, cheerfulness and strength of character. The Bible makes a great deal of names, both of the divine being and of his human children. It presents many beautiful pictures of the christening ot children, and one of its proverbs, “A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches,” sums up the wisdom of the ages. Would you like to have the mention of your name territy and irri- f.;.te n‘x‘el:. as that r&muon of the 'nlEm of .t one of e scourges of Eu- centuries rope, used to scare mfio& ago? Would you not like fo have the mention of it give rise to gratituds, re- mtbe ‘P‘m‘ affection in the hearts of of TS between a new . up in the window was the head of & grizzly, and I'll take my oath it wasn't a size smaller than a beer barrel! “‘Now,’ thinks I, ‘it I can only get that gun before he sees me and if the cussed thing will only do the right thing by me this once!" “So out I steps, and the first rattle out of the box 1 stumbled on a few dozen of the purchases Ag had brought home, and down them and me came like an earthquake. It scart the bear 80 he drew back; no use trying to work a sneak now. I jumped for the hol- ster, unlimbered, and turned the gun loose for general results. I guess every load went off from the noise and she flew out of my hand and vanished be- ~hind me. Lord! The place was full of smoke and the plunder that was sca tered around so you could neitheg seq nor walk, and that bear was swatting the door in a fashion that showed he was going to give us a call anv old how, and I was plumb distracted—for the life of me I didn’t know what to do. “‘Don’t make such a damn noise!’ growls Aggy. " ‘You'd better get out of that!" I yells. ‘You'll get noise enough in a minute!” But he dldn’'t pay the least attention. “Just before the door went down I broke for the cock-loft; it was the only spot that seemed to hold the teeniest bit of safety. I clim up the wall like a hopper-grass, but I had no more than made it when my friend was in the house. 'Twas me he wanted to see, too, apparently; for he never noted any- thing else, but headed straight for the loft. I had kind of hoped the other two would amuse him for a while, but it wasn’'t to be. With the door down, the moonlight streamed in so it was "most as light as day. “‘Keep your big feet off me!’ says Ag. very indignant, as the bear walked on him. It's a great thing not to know who you're talking to sometimes, ‘“Well, brother bear upends himself, and reaches for the loft. He could just nicely hook his front toenails on the board. and when I saw that I would WHEN YOU PPZIED IFER that bear would give ‘em cards, spades, big and little casine, a stuffed deck and the tally-board, teo. and then beat ‘em without looking at his hand. “1 simply can’t begin to tell you all the different kinds of pure, onadul- terated helifire yaised with the atock of curiositias AXgY had bought in town, And the looks of him! White with flour half way, spouting flames and smoke and apparently three times as big as when he started! He was something before the people now, I tell you! And the burning hair smelt scandalous ,and the way he ripped and roared made the ground tremble. ‘“When he finally broke through the daor T was so interested that I forgot to be afraid, and hopped down to watch him go, and then I saw the last act of the tragedy. “Miguel had heard the shot, and, knowing we were in troubl he wasg coming up the trail on his old buck- skin, fairly burning the earth. “He rounded a little clump of trees and came plump on my bear, roaring, foaming, blazing, smoking, ripping and flying! Well, sir, you ean believe me OFF SHELD SPrr FIRF IN ALL DIRECTIONS™ hwuve sold myself out hide and halr and good will of the business extremely reasonable. ‘Here's where my esteemed friend Hydraulic Smith gets piped out,” I thought, and I tried to meet my fin- ish like a man, but there was some- thing about winding up as filler for a dirty, smelly bear wrapper that took all the poetry out of the situation. “I saw that Aggy had got onto the state of affairs at last; he was crawling backward very cautions, and he had a look of pained surprise on his face that beat anything I'd ever seen on the phia of man or beast before. For all I was S0 scart that I was sweat fcicles I couldn’t help but snicker. Howsom- ever, at that moment brother bear threw his weight on the board and she snapped like a toothpick, and my merry smile took a walk. Lord, I was in a desperate fix! He had only to keep on pulling down boards to the last one, and then, of course, I'd come down with it “Something had to be done. I grabbed a sack of flour and heaved It at him; the sack caught on a splinter and ripped, so beyond covering him with powder it had no particular result, He did stop and.taste the flour, but, heavens, he had lots of time! There wasn't any good in that. “But as I reached around for an- other weapon my hand struck the can of alcohol, and right there I had a genuine three-X inspiration. ‘T pulled the plug from the can and poured the spirits down. The bear howled mur- der as the stuff ran down into his eyes, and plunking himself on his hunkies he began to paw and scrape it out. There was my chance! I fum- bled through all my pockets as fast as my could travel—no matches! Then cussing and praying like a steam engine I tried it again: found a hand- ful in the first pocket; dropped most of ‘em, being s0 nervous, but scratched ;::t was left and chucked 'em on Mr. T, “Great Moses in the bulrushes! ‘Events began on that instant. I've seen a cyclone and an earthquake and an Injun outbreak and a Democratic convention, but roll ’em into one and or not, but I want to tell you that that cayuse of Mee's jumped right out from under him, and was half way up Wil- kins HIll before the Mexican touched the ground. He was headed due west, and he must have reached the coast the next day, the gait he was traveling. Anyhow, he vanished from the sight of man forever, as far as we know. “‘Mee sat froge just'as he had landed, scart so there wasn't no more expres- sion on his face than a punkin pie, and the bear hopped right over the top of his head. Then I reckon Mee thought his family friend had come for him, for he jumped ten foot In the alr, and when he touched ground it was in full motion. “It’s only fair to say that Miguel could run when he put his mind to it ‘El Infernio esta suelto!’ he yells. ‘Santiago! Santiago! Ten quidado conmigo! Madre mai! Salvame! Sal- vame pronto!" “Lord, I can see him now, scuttling over the fair face of the Territory of Idaho in the bright moonlight like a little bird—chest out; hands up; head back; black hair snapping in the breeze; long legs waving like the spokes of a fly wheel, and yelling for Santiago to keep an eye on him, and for his mother to save him quick. as long as he was in sight. And when he passed, he passed out. He took a different di- rection from his horse, so it ain’t likely they ever met, but neither one of ‘em was seen no more around our part of the country. “Still, by and by there floated back to us a story of how a greaser had been chased by a horrible white devil that stood twenty foct high, with teeth a foot long, horns, hoofs, claws and a spiked tail; which traveled at a rate of speed that made a streak of Nght- ning seem like a way-freight, scattering red fire and brimstone as it ran: which chased said greaser forty mile over hill and dale and gulch and mountain top and district, after polish- ing off his horse in one bite, and finally sank into the ground with a report like a ton of glant powder. “And I've often wondered what really became of that bear.” .