The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, February 12, 1905, Page 2

THE ), for the engi- T E there was a £ h2li-hour between the time i3 whic nd allotment in th 1 run ywn f a distressful on the street box and watches, e ful them out plate. assed on a ASCTEW re genuine were only eses with one bugs that fly in ‘em. Them and secofids in- The man 1 was p $288, and went w that when it ¢ in Little Rock ent 1d be needed, and he wasn ne S £ had $360 and I had s$288 phonograph idea was took to it freely, being of all kinds. fine phonograph. in the best make—and records. We packed and P. for New Or- t celebrated center of sed coon songs ¢, I think it Mexico—I am ulge the location the rural delivery route, ow on the map and the literature of cigar on a smiling coast at a iencunced by the name, as llect, Sore-toe-kan- nalatable enough place houses were clean and out among the scen- led eggs served with was a block of sky- ains in the suburbs, and quiet, like they were on their lips and And the sea was on the beach; rine cocoanut we sand, and that with us tro United an the of mercenary the way it position a weck from to- we told him, ‘we’ll interior prima s of Sou- h from a aptain. ‘Ye'll gentleman in the upon the in the hypothe- he Eigin knee deep and your r ak no steps s count off his Bureau of horoscope. kind of a 0, sart of ffections, and Yes, man, in , I think . being his ways. ous invention,” he says, nhonograph, has never res. The peo- They would they should. Simple- n of nature, progress n opener as an over- me might incite them lution. But you can ment. The best chance the populace may not hen you play. There's two the Consul, ‘they may take become inebriated with an Atlanta colonel, list- to “Marching Through Geor- - they will get excited and e key of the music with ind yourselves into a dungeon. e latter case,” says the Consul, do my duty by cabling to the State Department, and I'll wrap the Stars and Stripes around you when you come to be shot, and threaten them with the vengeance of the great- est gold export and financial reserve nation on earth. The flag is full of bullet holes now,” says the Consul, ‘made in that way. Twice before,’ says the Consul, ‘T have cabled our Government for a couple of gunboats to protect' American citizens. The first time the department sent me a pair of g boots. The other time was man named Pease was going to be ecuted here. They referred that appeal to the cretary of Agri- culture. Let us now disturb the senor behind the bar for a subsequence of the red wine.’ Thus soliloguized the Consul of i‘i‘rr-(ue-kangnruo to me and Henry orsecollar. “But, notwithstanding, we hired a room that afternoon in the Calle de los Angeles, the main street that runs alc the shore, and put our trunks there. 'Twas a good-sized room, dark and cheerfui, but small. 'Twas on a various street, diversified by houses and corservatory bvlants. The peas- of the citv passed to and fro on fine pasturage between the side- ks. “T'was, for the world, like an -houge” where the Roval Kafooz- lum s about to enter. “We were rubing the dust ne and getting fixed to b off the start busin he next day when a big, fine- k white 1 white clothes door 1 looked in. We stopped at th extended the invita ed in and sized chewing & long cigar and s, meditative, like a kich 1d he walk- **Origina I say Hasn't it rubbed off vet? s simple,” says he, ‘v n you know how. 1It's th f the vest. They don't cut vests else. Coats, maybe, but not vests. “The white man looks at Henry Horsecollar and hesitates. *“Injun,’ says Henry; ‘tame Injun.’ “ ‘Meilinger,’” says the man—'Homer P. Mellinger. Boys, you've confiscated. You're babes in the wood without a chaperon or referee, and it's my duty to start you going. I'll knock out the props and launch you proper . in the pellucid waters of Sore-toe-kanga- roo. You'll have to be christened, and if you'll come with me I'll break a bot- tle of wine across your bows, accord- ing to Hoyle.’ i Well, for two davs Homer P. Mel- linger did the honors. That man cut ice in Sore-toe-kangaroo. He was it. He was the Royal Kafoozlum. If me and Henry was babes in the wood, he was a robin redbreast from; the top- most bough. Him and me and Henry Horsecollar locked arms ‘and toted that phonograph around and had wassail and diversion. There was vino tinto and vino blanco to drink with every tune. The aborigines had acquire- ments of a pleasant thing in the way of drinks that gums itself to the recol- lection. They chop off the end of a green cocoanut and pour in on the liguor of it French brandy and ‘gin. We had them and other things. “Mine and Her oney wib-coun- terfeit. Everything was on Homer P. nger. That man could find rolls in his clothes where Herrmann rd couldn’t have conjured out He coujd have founded left to buy the colored vote of his country. Henry and me wondered what One evening he told us. says he, 'I've deceived you. . painted butterfly, I'm the the an omelette. universities and had enough Instead of hardest worked man in this country. T ago I landed on its shores ars ago on the point of its . Yes, I reckon I can get the de- cision over this ginger cake common- wealth at the end of any round I choose. I'll confide in you because you e my countrymén and guests, even if you have committed an assault upon by adopted shores with the worst system of noises ever set to music. ‘My job is private secretary to the Fresident of this republic and my du- ties are running it. I'm not headlined ir the bills, but I'm the mustard in the salad dressing. There isn't a law goes before Congress, there isn't a concession granted, there isn't an im- pert duty levied, but what H. P. Mel- meditated Cynthia as re tucked in the ends of her veil more neatly, “'is nothing more than a grab-bag on a huge scale. Day by day you put your hand in and grab something, but until you take it out and unfold it you never know whether it is a joy or a serrow!” With a droll smile at the idea, she picked up her gloves and card case, took a last comprehensive survey of herself in the cheval glass, and then passed down the stairs and out into the street filled with the gentle exhil- aration that her view of life induced. One did not know, for instance, what charming adventure might be- fall, even in the pursuit of so banal a duty as a round of formal calls. Mus- ing thus she turned into Fifth avenue, her face alight with eager expectancy o the next thing, and trying to im- agine what it was going to be. This might be the great day of her life—one couldn’t tell. Perhaps before the afternoon was over she would meet the Man—that godling of her dreams, who moved in the time honored Olympian manner, enveloped‘in a mist that hid his face from view. Appar- ently the afternoon held mothing more than a pleasant stroll, broken by a half dozen calls; but the beauty of the thing lay in the fact that one couldn’t be sure! Perhaps on that very afternoon— These pleasant speculations sudden- ly came to an abrupt end. Her pard case—where was it? She felt blindly in her muff, thrust her hand Into one side of her coat and then the other, but in vain. It was gone—lost—just as numberless purses, opera glasses, boas, muffs and umbrellas had gone be- fore it. until she was a byword among her friends and the gifts of her inti- mates were invariably accompanied by & beseeching, “Don’t lose this, Cynthia, Do try to be a little bit careful.” linger he cooks and seasons it. In the front office I fill the President’s ink- stand and search visiting statesmen for dynamite: in the back room I dic- tate the policy of the Government. You’d never guess how I got the pull. It's the only graft of its kind in the world. T'll put you wise. You re- member the topliner in the old copy books, “Honesty is the best policy.” That's I'm the only honest man in this republic. The Government knows it; the people know it; the boodlers. know_it; the foreign inves~, I make the Government If a man is promised a job he get it. If outside capital buys a concession they get the goods. I run a monopely of square dealing here. There's no competition. If Caol- onel Diogenes were to flash his lantern in this precinct he’d have my address inside of two minutes. There's isn't kig money ih it, but it’s a sure thing, and lets a man sleep of nights.’ “Thus Homer P. Mellinger made ora- tion to me and Henry Horsecollar in Sore-toe-kangaroo, = And- Jater he di- vested himself of this remark: “‘Boys, I'm to hold a soiree’ this tors know it. keep its faith. and I want your assistange, 'Y the musical corn sheller and bring e ‘the evening with a gang. o legdipgxl:sns,flmsmél and ‘his-cvew are plotti; 9 affair the outside appearance ‘of a function. There's important business on hand, but it mustn’t show. I can talk to you people. I've been pained for years on account of not having any- body to blow off and brag to. I get homesick sometimes, and I'd swap the entire perquisites ot office for just one hour to' have a stein and a caviare sandwich somewhere on Thirty-fourth street, and stand and watch the street cars go by, and smell the peanut roaster at old Giuseppe’s fruit stand.’ “'Yes, said I, ‘there’s fine caviare at cafe, corner of Thirty- Bil © Renfrow fourth and—" “‘God knows it interrupts Mellin- ger, ‘and if you'd told me you knew Billy Renfrow I'd have invented tons of ways of making you nappy. Billy was my side kicker in New York. That is a man who néver knew what crooked was. Here I am working Honesty for a graft, but that man loses money on it. Carrambos! I get sick-at times of this country. Everything’s rotten. From the Executive down to the coffee pickers, they're plotting to down each other and skin their friends. If a mule driver takes off his hat to an official, that man figures it out that he's a popular idol, and sets his pegs to stir up a revolution and upset the adminis- tration. It's one of my little chores as private secretary to smell out these revolutions and affix the kibosh before they break out and scratch the paint coff the Government property. That's why I'm down here now in this mil- poeN And now her new card case, a gift on her birthday a few weeks. before, had gone in the usual way, just when she was expecting the very best of life, too. Her optimism disappeared ike the sun behind a cloud and with an aggricved sense of misplaced trust, her steps slackened and she came to a standstill, wondering if it would be worth while to go back and try .to find it. “Scarcely,” she decided, #s the mov- ing crowd of pedestrians slowly filed past her and with & sigh she resumed her way northward once more, a lit- tle comforted by the reflection that, after all, some honest person would probably find it and return it to her. Meanwhile, a tall, athletic young méan, who was swinging up the ave- nue in the same direction, a block or #0 behind her, unconsciously rejoleing in his mere physical vigor and not philogophizing at all, found his at- tention attracted by a small, dark ob- Jject ornamented with a gleaming disk of silver, that was lying near the edge of the sidewalk. . . Picking it up, he glanced in this way and in that, but the handsomely gowned women who were making their way 'in both directions gave no indication of distress, so he examined the monogram on the clasp with a grunt of masculine disdain for such devices. i Then he bethought him - that it might be a good idea:to open it and, suiting the action to the impulse, he discovered in one compartment a latch key and in the other a bunch of cards. ke . “Miss Williar, - No. 4 West.———th Street,” he read, taking out one of the cards; and having thus satisfactorily estab- lished the ownership -of his find, he tucked it into his m\:‘n ‘and strode on toward the Un ty ;Club, idly wondering if this Miss could be related to the little hia ‘Wil- liar he had known in his hood. It was this wonder that imps | _him to SAN ATS MY ANSWER. SAYS MELLINGER.. !dewed coast town. The Governor the to uprise. I've got every one of their names, and they're invited to listen to the phonograph to-night, compliments of H. P. M. That's the way I'll get them in a bunch, and things ar€ on the programme to happen tv them.’ “We three were sitting at table in the cantina of the Purified Saints. Mellin- ger poured out wine, and svas looking some worried; I was thinking. “‘They're a sharp crowd. he says, kind of fretful. “They're capitalized by a foreign syndicate after rubber. and they're loaded to the muzzle for brib- ing. I'm sick, goes on Mellinger. ‘of comic opera. I want to smell East River and wear suspenders again, At times 1 feel like throwing up my job, but I'm d—n fool enough to be sort of proud of it. ‘There’s Mellinger.’ they say here ‘Por Dios! you can’t touch him with a million. TI'd like to take that record back and show it to Billy Ren- frow some day, and that tightens my grip whenever I see a fat thing that 1 could corral just by winking one eye— and losing my graft. they can’t monkey with me. They Know it. ‘What money I get I make honegt and spend it. Some day I'll make a pile and go back and eat caviare with Billy. To-night I'll show you how to handle a bunch of corruptionists. I'll show them what Mellinger, private . secretary, means when you spell it with the cot- ton. and tissue paper off.” ““Mellinger appears shaky, and breaks hlm glass against the neck of the bhot- tle. “I say to myself, ‘White man, if I'm not mistaken, there’s been a bait laid wait to see Miss Willlar personally, when, just before the dinner hour, he Bloréped at the address given on the card. He had notelong to wait. A tall girl with a look in her eyes that sald plainly that life was an interesting experience entered the room and he found himself face to face with what seemed to him a larger, older and greatly glorified copy of the small, freckled girl upon. whom, in moments of rare generosity, he had sometimes bestowed his bovish approval. “Why, Jack Mayhew!” she exclaim- ed with unfeigned gladness, extending her hand. ‘“Where have you dropped from?” while his hearty “Jupiter, Cynthia, if this isn't luck!” uttered with enthusiastic heartiness while he conscientiously wrung her hand as if it had been that of another man, placed them at once on the plane of good fellowship where they had part- ed ten years earlier. In their delight and surprise at the meeting they talked volubly and some- times both at once, asking about boy and. girl friends and referring hilar- fously to the pranks of those dear old days. But if their tongues were busy, thelr minds Were doubly so- “He’s magnificent,” Cynthia was saying over and over to herself with a thrill of delight, though ostensibly she was listening with rapt attention to his account of himself since he left Elmwood and grown up. While he filled with admiring wonder at this new Cynthia_he suddenly lost the thread of his story and floundered helplessly, after the manner of persons Wwho try*to think about one thing and talk about another. “As I was saying,” he abserved im- pressively, making a frantic but in- effectual attempt to recall what he had been sayi “As I was saying—that is—oh, it all, Cynthia, I was so busy lookifg-at you that I forgot what !JZ," saying! Don’t know where I'm . - At this plain avowal, they both » LIFE'S GRAB FRANCISCO s SUNDAY CALL. out where the tail of your eye could see it." “That night, @ccording to arrange- ments, me and Henry took the phono- graph to a room in a 'dobe house in a dirty side street, where the grass was knee high. 'Twas a long room, lit with smoky oil lamps. There was plenty of chairs and a table at the back end. “By and by the invitations to the mu- sicale came sliding in by pairs and threes and spade flushes. Their color was of a djversity, running from a three days’ smoked meerschaum to a patent-leather polish. They were as polite as wax, being devastated with enjoyments to give Senor Mellinger the good evenings. I understood their Spanish talk—I ran a pumping engine two years in a Mexican silver mine. and had it pat—but I never let on. “Maybe fifty of 'em had come and was seated, when in slid the king bee, the Governor of the district. Mellin- ger met him at the door and escorted him to the grandstand. When I saw that Latin man I knew that Mellinger, private secretary, had all the dances on his card taken. That was a big, squashy man, the color of a rubber overshoe, and he had an eye like a head waiter's. “Mellinger explained, fluent, in the Castilian idioms, that the soul was disconcerted with joy at introducing to hig respected f¥iends America’s greatest invention, the wonder of the age. Henry got the cue and run on an clegant brass band record and the festivities became initiated. The Gov- ernor man had a bit of English under his hat, and when the music was stopped off he says: A G--By . Heith Gordon Joughed and he went on with mascu- line frankness: “I say, you've done yourself proud. You're ripping, you know!" and he gazed at her with so much of the old boyishness in his face that the reproof that rose to her lips was suppressed. Then a black thought suddenly clutched at her. “You aren't married, are you?” she demanded so abruptly and intensely that she winced the moment the words were out, while his prompt neg- ative was tempered with a certain shame as he recalled some events of the previous year. Cynthia was so di- rect that she inspired him with a desire to meet her on her own ground. “No, I'm not married, but I am afraid that I should have been but for the firmness of the young lady's mother,” -he acknowledged honestly. .‘She hdd other views for her daughter. You see, I wasn’t rich enough—and I'm mighty glad I wasn’t—now,” he added with a fervor that was beyond suspicion. Still, Cynthia’s manner seemed to take on a slight coating of ice. “So you're a blighted being!” she said thoughtfully, her chin resting on the back of her hand and her eyes fixed upon his face speculatively. They parted a few minutes later, re- luctantly, it is true, yet with the feel- ing that the fine glow of the meeting had suddenly faded. ““He's mourning for that horrid little thing with the mercenary mother.” re- flected Cynthia scornfully and without any compunctions whatever anent the injustice of calling an unknown damsel “a horrid little thing,” while Jack Mayhew, his eyes dazzled by the fine, open face of his old playmate, wonder- ed how he couyld ever have fancied pretty little pink-and-white Dorothy. As he remembered Cynthia’s mouth —with the little curlycues at the corner that looked like baby smiles—his face grew gloomy. 2 % “Depend upon it, old fellow, you'll find there is some man in the back- “ ground,” he confided to himself darkly Gr-r-r-r-racias, the so “‘Ver-r-ree fine. the American . gentleeman, esplendeed moosic as to play.” “The table was a long one and Herry and me sat at the end of it, next the wall. The Governor sat at the other end. Homer P. Mellinger stood at the side of it. I was just wondering how Mellinger was going to handle his crowd, when the home talent suddenly opened the services. “That Governor man was suitable for uprisings and policies. I judge he was a ready kind of man, who took his own time. “‘Do the American senors under- stand Spanish?’ he asks in his native accents. “ “They do not,’ says Mellinger. “‘Then listen,’ goes on the Latin N on the way homeward. “Don’t get the idea that there’s any chance for you. A girl like that—" Here he gave up, at loss for words to express his eonvic- tions on the subject. But in spite of this mutual cyni- cism, Miss Williar and Jack Mayhew were seen together ‘very frequently during the next three menths. They affected palm rooms and art galleries and such places where a certain soft splendor and quiet made for sentiment and low-toned conversation. \ It was upon one such occasion that a patron of art, who haa closed the Ecok of Romance before the young people in this story were borm, over- heard the following extraordinary bit of conversation. He was sitting with one eye screwed up critically in the effort to form a judgment of a Claude Monet on the wall before him, when he heard the young man murmur anx- jously: “You don’t suppose your mother will say that I'm not rich enough, do P “Indeed, no!” replied the girl at his side confidently. ‘“My mother is not that kind, Besides, didn'it our mothers know each other before we were born?" The patron of art looked slightly puzzled. From the tail of his cool, esti- mating eye he sent furtive glances at the pair, vainly endeavoring to follow the young lady's reasoning. ‘There was an ecstatic silence for a second, during which the patron of art found the two decidedly . interesting from an artistic standpoint. It was an eloquent moment—and paintable. It was really a pity. Then the girl's face dimpled and she began to speak. “On, Jack!" she said, and her tone was a caress. “Isn't it lucky that I 80t you out of the grab-bag after all?” patron of art moved away, shak- ing his head as if the times were get- ting beyond him. “Got him out of the -grab-bag,” he murmured, just to see it would sound—"“Got him out of the grab-bag!™ (Copyright, 1904, by Keith Cordon. prompt. ‘The mus “a prettiness, but 1 cessity. Let us speak of t well know why we are he observe my compatriots. whisper yesterday, Senor our proposals. To-night we out. We know that you st President’s fgvor and w influence. The governme changed. We know the w services. We esteem you and aid so.much as that'—M g raises his hand, but the Gove bottles him up. ‘Do not spea have done. “The Governmor man then dra package wrapped in paper from pocket and lays it on the table by linger’s hand. “‘In that you will find $100, money of your country. You c nothing against us, but you ca worth that for us. Go back to the capi tal and obey our instructions. Takd« that money now. We trust you. ¥You will ind with it a paper giving in detail the work you will be expected to do for us. Do not have the unwiseness to re- fuse.” “The Governor man paused, with his eyes fixed on Mellinger, full of expres- sions and observances. I looked at Mel- linger and was glad Billy Renfrow couldn’t see him them. The sweat was popping out on his forehead, and he stood dumb, tapping the little package with the ends of his fingers. The Colo- rado maduro gang was after his graft He had only to change his politics and stuff six figures in his inside pocket. “Henry whispers to me and wants the pause in the programme interpret- ed. I whisper back, ‘H. P. is up against a bribe, Senator’s size, and the coons have got him going.” I saw Mellinger's hand moving closer to the package. ‘He's weakening,” I whispered to Hen- ry. ‘We'll remind him,” says Henry, ‘of theé peanut roaster on Thirty-fourth street, New York." “Henry stooped and got a record from the basketful we’d brought, slid it in the phenograph and started her off. It was a cornet solo, very neat and beautiful, and the name of it was ‘Home, Sweet Home.” Not one of them fifty-odd men in the room moved while it was playing and the Governor man kept his eyes steady on Mellinger. I saw Mellinger’s head go up little by little und his hand came creeping away from the package. Not until the last note was sounded did anybody stir And then Homer P. Mellinger takes up the bundle of boodle and slams it in the Governor man's face. “‘That’s my answer,” says Mellinger, private secretary, ‘and there’ll be another in the morning. I have proofs of conmspiracy against every man of you. The show is over, gentlemen.” ““Therc’'s one more act,” puts in the Governor man. ‘You are a servant, I believe, employed by the President to carry letters and answer raps at the door. ' T am Governor here. Senors, I call upon you in the name of the cause to seize this man.’ “That brindled gang of comspirators shoved back their chairs and advanced in ferce. I could see where Mellinger had made a mistake in massing his enemy so as to make a grand-stand play. I think he made another one, too; but we can pass that. Mellinger's idea of graft and mine being different, according to estimations and points of view. “There was only one window and door in that room, and they were in the front end. Here was fifty-odd Latin men coming in a bunch to ob- struct the legislation of Mellinger. You may say there was three of us, for me and Henry, simultaneous, de- clared New York City and the Chero- kee Nation in sympathy with the weaker party. “Then it was that Henry Horsecol- lar rose to'a point of disorder and in- tervened, showing, admirable, the ad- vantages of education as applied to the American Indian's natural intel- lect and native refinement. He stood up and smoothed back his hair on each side with his hands as you have seen little girls do when they play. “‘Get behind me, both of you,” sayw Henry. ““What is it to be?" I asked. 'm going to buck center,” says Henry, in his football idioms. ‘There isn’t a tackle in the lot of them. Keep close behind me and rush the game.” “That cultured Red Man exhaled an arrangement of sounds with his mouth that caused the Latin aggregation to pause, with thoughtfulness and hesi- tations. The matter of his proclama- tion seemed to be a co-operation of the Cherokee college yell with the Carlisle war whoop. He went at the chocolate team like the flip of a little bay’s nigger shooter. His right elbow laid out the Governor man on the gridiron, and he made a lane the length of the crowd that a woman could have ‘carried a stepladder through without striking anything. All me and Mellinger had to do was to follow. “In five minutes we were out of that street and at the military headquar- ters, where Mellinger had things his own way. “The next day Mellinger takes me and Henry to one side and begins to shed tens and twenties. “‘I want to buy that phonograph,’ he says. ‘I liked that last tune it played. Now, you boys better go back home, for they'!l give you trouble here before . can get the screws put on 'em. If you happen to ever see Billy Renfrow again tell him I'm coming back to New York as soon as I can makera stake—hon- est.” “ ‘This . is more money,” says I, ‘than the machine is worth." “*'Tis government expense money, says Mellinger, ‘and the government's getting the tune grinder cheap.’ “Henry and I knew that pretty well, but we never let Homer P. Mellinger know that we had seen how near he came to losing his graft. “We laid low until the day the steam- er came back. When we saw the cap- tain’s beat on the beach me and Henry ‘went down and stood on the edge of the water. The captain grinned when he saw us. ' “ ‘I told you yeu'd be waitin’.’ he says. ‘Where's the Hamburger machine?" “‘It stays behind,” T says, ‘to play “Home, Sweet Home.”” “‘I told you so,’ says the captain again. ‘Climb in the boat.” “And that,” said Kirksy, “is the way me and Henry Horsecollar introduced the phonograph in that Latin country along about the vicinjty of South Amers ica.” man, sufficient Copyright by S. S. McClure Company. By O. Heary.