The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, August 21, 1904, Page 6

THE SAN FRANCISCO. SUNDAY CALL. / gnD TaERE FIRS T ITET 27X » CousSlK JOSEPRPKHINE. THRT, THE * EXTENT OFMY FORTUMNE [ BEING ENOWN BMONG . K FEIGHBORS. EAR UNCLE SILAS: I am surprised at your letter, in which you take a humorous view of my experience with a lottery ticket man, which you say is a common confidence trick. For you to assume that I, with my keenness of vision and quickness of wit, could be taken in by the shallow pretense of a swindler is merely amusing to me. Nay, the guileful men of New York will not profit by my stay here. However, that is a difference of opinion between us it would be fruitless further to discuss, so I will proceed at once to tell you of my call on your sister, my Aunt Sarah. I found her to be a lady of extreme elegance of manner and abiding in a house of elaborate richness, excelling our own two- story mansion in Beetville. She received me with great cordial- ity, but embarrassed me overmuch by dwelling on the ldrge for- tune I inherited. I was puzzled, too, by aunt’s statement that, the extent of my fortune being known among her neighbors, or, as she said, “in my set,” she would have no difficulty in finding me a proper wife. Poor, dear aunt! She really seemed to think that I would marry a girl I could not win by my own ungilded worth. I accepted aunt’s invitation to dinner and there first met my cousin Josephine, a young person of some pretensions to beau- ty, but, to my mind, too frivolous to be acceptable in intellectual society. Still, all the young men at dinner except me were de- voted to her, and were entertained by her pert comments on worldly subjects in which the young human female, in my judg- ment, should be but little informed. Her frivolity of speech was in contrast with that of a lady guest at dinner, a Mrs. “Jack” Lacquerre. She is a widow, my elder by some years, perhaps, but the most charming ‘of her sex it has ever been my happiness to know. Unlike Cousin Joseph- ine, she did not always talk of golf, tennis, the ““ponies”—which trifling word is employed here to mean race horses—but was dis- posed to listen with agreeable interest to my informing renfarks “on the future of beet sugar and the wickedness of those who would let the stealthy productsof our imsular possessions—name- ly, cane sugar—creep into our unprotected homes free of duty, to the destruction of an infant but profitable industry. O THEZRIVE HOME 7 WAS I B TEEZNCE OF FAPPISES.S While she seemed to understand the childish chatter of the OF A GENTLE STRANGERS others about the “ponmies” and kindred subjects, she did not leave me out of the conversation, as did the others, when they saw my amiable purpose to instruct them on a point of political eco- nomics. I am aware, too, that it was to her I was indebted for an invitation a young man gave me to become one of a coach- ing party to drive to a country club the next day for lunch. I went on the coach and was delighted to find myself placed by the side of Mrs. Lacquerre. My fair companion called attention to our host’s driving, and it surprised me to learn that mere ability to handle reins—which is possessed by every car driver—was so highly esteemed by her. I saw that to be a real hero here one, besides possessing the rare qualities I have, must also be able to do something in the way of sports, like driving a coach or a golf ball. While this surprised me, I'am too much a man of the world’ not to recognize what my place in society demands, so I determined to take up coach- ing at once. Especially did I.resolve to do this when Mrs. Lac- querre remarked: “Coaching is a stunning sport, and [ can drive any four that ever looked through bridles, but it's so deuced expensive a beggar like me has to pass it up.” Then I instantly resolved to present her a coach and four, and when we arrived at the clubhouse I called aside one of the hired men who had been playing a horn on the coach, but with- out much musical results, and told him if Be knew of a proper turnout for sale to let me have particulars. He replied that it was lucky I had spoken to him, as he chanced to know of a great bargain—if it had not been snapped up. He kindly offered to telephone into town and learn. It seems, as he éxplained, that a gentleman who had lost heavily in Wall street was disposing of a coach and four at a sacrifice. I begged him to hasten to the telephone at once, and, having arranged so good a thing, I cheerfully accompanied our party out into the field, where a number of people were engaged in playing the fasl.lionable game of golf. The game will never appeal to me. ADVENTURES /N NEW VORA N22. -she listened, rapt by the magic of « doped nigh to death! Its purpose is, so far as I could discover, is to displace a smal sphere from one location and replace it in another, the first loca- tion being on a slight elevation of moist sand, the second being a slight depression or recess in the turf. I sagely pointed out to Mrs. Lacquerre that the feat could be accomplished with less exer and more certainty if the player should take the sphere by nd from the sand hill and de- posit it by hand into the slight depression or recess, called the hole, instead of endeavoring to do so by the aid of various imple- ments of wood and iron, swung with energy, but frequently with- out results adequate to the force employed. . She said that if I felt that way about the game we had better not follow the players, but sit in the shade of a tree and wait for our party to follow them until they had appetites for lunch. We did so, while I eonversed on various topics with her, among them the value of fertilizers on land in which soil of an infusorial character bore such proportion to the whole as to require artificial enrichment to bring fdrth the most profitable results in sacchar- ose crystalline, extractable from the beet. She was deeply im- pressed by my earnestness and erudition, and sat on the turf, re- clining against a tree, her parasol shading her eyes from my view, and so silent, except for her light, regular breathing, I felt that I had never before had so appreciative a listener. At once to my confession: I fell deeply in fove with Mrs. Lacquerre at that - moment. It was not her beauty, grace, social position alone which enthralled me, but the discovery of a con- genial spirit, a soul which could throb as one with mine; and as my eloquence, motionless, thrilled, ' knew that here was a sympathetic nature worth all the wealth of my love. To show what were my thoughts, and, as it were, to learn her thoughts by an action, I raised one of her hands to my lips. Rapture! there was no protest. I knew that my feelings were reciprocated. The crowd neared, and, afraid to remain by her side, lest my surging breast should force me to speak though all the world heard, I hurried from her side. Behind the coach house the hired man reported to me that he had telephoned to the agent of the turnout, who agreed to hold it for me until nine o'clock that evening. The price, said the man, was virtually a give-away, a mere two thousand five hun- dred dollars. It is difficult for me to accustom myself to what New Yorkers call trifling sums, and, while of course. I ‘-could easily afford the sum named, I said I thought it high. The man replied that I had better snap at it, as he must telephone my de- cision at once. So I agreed to inspect the turnout that evening and purchase if it suited me. At lunch, on the drive home, T was in a trance of happi At the Circle that evening I met the coach and four, by the man who had conducted the trade for me. The p coats shone like satin, their eyes gleamed, the coach glistened in the electric lights like polished glass. I ascended to the side of the driver who confided to me that I had been wise to close the deal by telephone, for the agent had since had an offer of $4000 for th - out. I was anxious at hearing this, for I am well aware of the trickiness of horse dealers, so I told the man to drive to the stables at once and close the trade. It was an exciting drive, for the animals seemed disposed to go on their hind feet, or on their heads: but we reached ta- ble in safety, the driver assuring me that the animals only need- ed a twenty-mile trot to settle down all right. The agent con- firmed the driver about having a larger offer, but I was sharp with him and compelled him to accept the check I at once drew in full payment. Then I ordered my purchase sent to Mrs. Lac- querre the next day and came to my hotel to write you of my good luck. Now, dear Uncle Silas, there is something else I will tell you; it is my purpose to offer Mrs. Lacquerre something more pre- cious than a mere coach and four—my heart and hand! I shall leave this letter open, that I may inform you how the dear lady ac- cepts the honor I shall confer upon her. Affectionately, REUBEN. P. S.—The world is false, hollow! Life is a nightmare one would shun, except that it is cowardly to evade any duty—even the sad duty of living. I shall go far away from this cruel city, this heartless, cynical madness called New York, and sadly roam distant lands striving to bury my grief from sight. Forget it I cannot. I called on Mrs. Lacquerre and for a time we spoke on indifferent matters, I wanting to give her time to prepare for the honor about to be conferred on her. We sat where we could look into the street, and I was glad to see the coach approach, for it would serve as an incident to base my declaration of love upon. Her gaze was directed. at the turnout with great interest, but her looks changed when she saw it stop at her door. She rose and exclaimed in excitement, “What are those skates stopping here for?” Supposing “skates” a term of endearment for the horses, 1 saw my opportunity and, falling on my knees, I declared, “Dear madam, they are yours. They are my gift to you, and with them 1 alse give you my heart and hand!” With a look of horror in her eyes she cried: “Go out and tell them to take those awful things away! The poor creatures are And the coach! Only the varnish keeps the rattletrap from falling apart. Oh, those dreadful skates; take them away! Quick! a crowd is already gathering! Oh, oh!” Stung to the soul of my pride, I went to the door and ordered the driver to return to the stables. A policeman, who had come to see what the crowd was about, added: “And hurry about it or the Bergh officers will come and order the poor, old ‘doped’ skates shot.” I re-entered the house, again threw myself on my knees and declared my love. The lady looked stunned for a moment, but then said: “You are a very foolish and bold young man. I am nearly old enough to be your mother and have a daughter old enough to be your wife. Go away! You may come again when you are quite sane, for you are worth saving, and with a little trimming will make a presentable youngster. “But,” T exclaimed, “how about my kiss of your hand yester- day under the tree, to which you did not object?” “Under the tree?” she replied, after a thoughtful pause. “I was fast asleep all the time we were there.” With that she left the rodm hastily, and T came here to write these last lincsabefure I go out into the, strange world a stranger and heartbroken. =