The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, August 21, 1904, Page 11

SIS . —— l /o AP ",”"$JJJVNV’;$$“’WWWM . BEFORE g ORI e 3 Fables for the Ii-“ooiish WSO LEOLSISSSSIS: I A A name was Amy, and that the way she looked. observer, who is al- where he is not sworn that the late gentle disappointed the years. She nd looked as s on the point have weas a dead ringer fo dieu to this vain world on y and crudity and The first t every male creature g Amy was that wrapped carefu t =and lai the winds of Manitoba and the coun- ck of gentleness. e back of Fargo should not too roughl that he to do it. ad the robu of a ca bird, at least in and she never seemed to be ble walk more than two blocks tful Amy all the other oked like coarse, un- y healthy creatures, of the three square were coming it happened, as it ai. least in novels, that there was one young man in town who was very much in demand among the opposite sex. He had so much money that he couldn’t be bothered with thinking about it and ft was even rumored that he had been known to indulge in speculations in shipbuilding stock and other wild dissipations with- out a thought of the probable conse- quences. It was not that he was naturally vicious; he was young and rich, that was all, and it is universally admitted that youth must have its fling, especially when it has money in the bank to pay for what has been flung. As has been remarked above, this particular young man was quite the to Of course, always does, F GRASPED B> THE TRRroarr e SHE GRies WRAST ANDITURNS TTHE BRINGING THE AR SHE IS Aam e TO STRAKE A FAIT AL BLOW IN THE Face PHOTOS B : BUSHNELL foremost it must be re- that to commit the instruc- of the com- ad been set at le bodied mil- to hire a outside the D to keep peo- d cafrying him he had to sit ver been se- he entries B 3 e was too sw 1g to trust herself iuto t and chilling at- mosphere of t cal world where rs as matri- ummated. * In supposed, at of her own fact, it wa least among the member sex, that Amy intended to devote her life to the succoring of the poor and It never occurred to them t that's what most married women ; if it wasn't for the necessity of caring for the aforesaid poor and helpless it is doubtful if there would be very many marriages in this sin- ful world. Since Solomon, that stand- ard hority on matrimony, gave it up, there is no one to speak with great weight on the exact nature of the qualities that women like in men, but it is a safe bet that most women enter o the more or less holy bonds of wedlock just to keep the men from hanging around and bothering other people, Matrimony is like dreams, it gene- rally goes by contraries. It is not meant to imply that married people are contrary, not all of them at least. Nor is it suggested that the married state is a dream from which most people awaken in the course of time. The theory which we are trying to drag out into the cold and unfeeling light of day is that in marriage, as on the stock exchange, you never can tell. Very few men marry the women that other people have picked out for them and no women do. The only time that a man ever allows some one else to draw is when the individual THE SAN FRANCISCO SUNDAY tions to memory is not all that is nee- essary. A woman must practice them wwm; AND AFTER: -By Nicholas Nemo who draws keeps the ticket for her- self, and even then he seldom realizes that he didn’t put his hand into the box and choose for himself. But we must return to Amy before the gentle creature gets frost-bitten. Amy never let the unappreclative world know that she was out for the money herself and that she had a line dangling for the youthful descendant of J. Pierpont Croesus. She Jusy, sat around where she was sure that he could see her and looked pensive. She realized that there would be time enough to look expensive after it was all over. Then when he happened around in her neighborhood she would draw a deep sigh from the, northeast corner of her gentle bosom and cast her eyes upward as though she was expecting a Marconigram from the other world every minute telling her that she had overstayed her leave. It was a great play and it worked likg a charm. One evening young Croesus confided to Amy that she made all the other women look like millionaires’ daugh- ters and that she was all to the good and the returns still coming in. At this she sent down a hurry-up call for another sigh, extra deep, and informed him in appealing tones and with what is known in the trade as a swift up- ward glance that she had trusted him instinctively from the first minute that he came around the corner. After that there was nothing to do but to send out the cards”and get busy with the dressmaker. After she had him safely in the fold with a Yale lock on the gate, Amy began to lay her caxds on the table face up and he discovered that what he had imagined was an angel very thinly disguised was a full grown woman with a slight suggestion of the place from which angels are not de- rived. During the period of courtship up to and extending a short distance into the honeymoon Amy had seemed to exist principally on air and poetry administered in large doses. After the e 3 SHE SUDDENLY PULLS THE coaT DOWN OVER THe SHOULDERS AND THE RUSFElAaNmS ATrAs CALL. ARE LockED R N N N N N N N e S R TG G0 T 0T 000000000 00R00000000000000%: knot was tied he discovered to his sur- prise that the only air that she seemed to care very much about was the kind that rises to the surface in large bub- bles after the cork has been drawn. As for poetry and other forms of in- tellectual nourishment, the only read- ing that she appeared to hanker for was that on the common or garden bill of fare. She could make a $5 bill look like the recollections of the night before and then call it a light lunch and begin to wonder when it would be time for dinner. Young Croesus had had a general idea that he would be the whole thing and something over in his menage and that Amy’s activity would be con- fined to holding down a pile of cush- fons in the cozy corner and wishing that it was time for hubby dear to come home from that dreadful office and have his head stroked. His sur- prise was considerable when he read the code of laws that was lald down for his daily walk and eonduct after the honeymoon had set. He was never to go to the club without a speclal dispensation that must be arranged for at least two days in advance and under no circumstances was he to stay out to dinner, unless Amy was in the party. Every week he had a budget shoved at him enumerating the num- ber of things that were absolutely nec- essary for the peace and comfort of HOW -LrJO ; DEFEND and keep in practice, for this is the only keynote to—a successful applica- tion. It will be found after pract that almost unconsclously when any one’s hands are placed on you sud- denly you will at once assume a de- fensive attitude, which if it is a seri- ous case will give you an advantage, which will make you mistress of the But without practice yogy situation. will not be able to cope with your sailant. Take the ruffian who attempts steal your brooch or grasp you by the throat. Up go your hands and you take & grip on his forearm mnear the to VI T T rer ooy the household. After that had been attended to and a proper allowance made for the things that ought to be bought because they were so cheap, he might use the rest of his income as he saw fit. It is unnecessary to re- mark that there never was any rest, either for the income or for Croesus. This has been going on for a num- ber of years and Croesus has grown hardened to it, but he still wonders how he made such a mistake in his original diagnosis. The only satisfac- tory conclusion at which he has ar- rived is that the man who ac frailty of being a woman in disguise had never been married. (Copyright, 1904, by Albert Britt) you bring making jerk one on the streets at 1 idea to carry a Keep 1t and on the are attacked grasp you it face. You 2 opening of it nd grab you, un~ will fl" 1t will caw umbrella 2 shoving 18 into his face with r hand ex- tended you will be able to duck past sid. danger g » get the parasol or umbrel f his way. Another def ] use of the hat pin when att 1 r nd. The mere a £ the arm will cause the ruffian to press downward instead of g ng you tighter around the throat. Bu 1 not be able to stop you g ng your hat pim when you t mnd and his face will be at m Another g to carry a g collar. This allow of q There is ¢ especially one s he influ- ence of liquor . and that is the well-} pulling the coat down ofl 1d You then have his ar he is powerless to do you any ha A trick which shudder w one which is pern when one feels that it is to be 1 in self-defense, is to grasp the fa ouging the thumb deep Into the eye rere is no human being that can stand the pain and it will result in thr € the rufan flat to give one & ., but yes on his back. It take all the ficht out of a man. It is a game not te his liking. the same order Man. It is to k with the There is another of a that will throw grab the back of left hand and sh right in his face so that the fingers come under his nose. An upward pressure against the nose will throw ‘him off his balance in a second and he will go down. Thers is no stopping: the gest man in the world cannot stand the pain. It makes him as helpless as a child. An act which requires a great deal of practice, but is very effective when accomplished, is to grab the wrist when one is being struck and jerk it in the direction of the blow. This, in many cases, will pull the arm out of the socket at the shoulder, But to accom- plish it one must be exceedingly quick with arms and feet, for it means that you must sidestep out of range as you grab the wrist. Another thing that ~e done un- der the same circumstance is* to side- step and grasp the wrist with both hands and quickly turn the arm out- ward. This will also throw him off his balance and more than likely will bring him to the ground. Always remember one thing: never step backward, for you lose your bal- ance and put yourself at a disadvan- tage. Practice stepping sideways out of danger. By practice you will find which hand is going to be used and you can take the other side. Another thing to remember i3 to watch the eyes of your assallant. He has got to look where he Is going to grab and you will be able to forecast his move. Just as soon as you down your ru’- flan get away, using all your powers of speech to summon help stron