The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, June 5, 1904, Page 12

30 1is the proud possess- oddest Who ever d castle with e vears ago unto death. the ond with 1 are all there. Mc » wish for it and the uts above spr though foundat of ed to to wear ong in P greer es have been w ind sc ient 1 the heart of the Wonder Tree ow bridge in midair stretches and connects with the Th: e around 1 That g the third story, ve the ground. ss inclosed sky e blue waters of them rises the at Coronado, and waters creeps tem- t Loma, mysterious lingers on Silver ds, then ranges anorama, tak- Chula Vista, the distant Mexico. ite most often paid Beyond Islar to this from the oddest house The o evidence in the sky as everywhere Between the windows and above | balcony, from index finger of a doll dressed in pink. Be- r s the legend, “Please reg- ister here,” and on the table is the guest register of the oddest house. Its pages are covered with the signa- tures of people from all over the wi 1 earth. mous autographs are among them, sometimes they are writ- ten in e sky parlor at the rate of more than thirty a day. On the wall is the sign that brings forth one of the oddest things in the house. It reads, “Please do not spit on the floor without permission. Spit- toon under the sofa.” If the owner of the house is with the visitor who s the he will smile, for he knows what will happen. visitor who reaches for the cus- under the sofa gets a surprise. ets tha cuspidor out just beyond of the sofa, but just let him hoid on the thing a bit and it r the sofa in the twinkling If the visitor cares to get down on his hands and knees he may see a queer looking spiral spring at- tached to i1t. No one who visits the house and is taken in by the oddest thing in it—the Magic Cuspidor—ever tells any one else the secret of the sell, 80 every one gets the full benefit of the take-in. Every one is ready to leave the cupola after this and the next thing is to descend to the balcony of the third story again, going the other way this time and making another fifty feet of distance without touching the ground. It leads to another bridge which is at- tached to the side of the house by a sort of pivot and which stretches out, say thirty feet. and terinates in a that hold the seat grasping them the d forth with its of three feet sensation is not un- d on the water and is n conducive to a feeling of security on the part of a nervous per- son. The vot by which the bridge is attached to the house lets the bridge with its slight f eithel the. body seem slight in fon when one walk them, and vet they are p strong. Descending to eart once more, the rounds are found to be as odd as the ¢ the oddest ge filled wit ge to the bridge connectin ynder Tree is a sort of ¢ of wire netting ahout feet long, the other er there are suspended basins, in which water is const: dripping fro above. The birds ed, for Colonel Dye u lint ¢ not well tr: ally gets out the broom and by knocking on the outside of they are made to promenade the wire netting pathway to bathe drink at the farther end. Under an arbor is what Colonel Dye calls the cobblestone par for every part of it, floor ¢ de from cobblestones hau W hands. The cot treated with cement in fa etc., and tinted a brown, that or his gives according to the master of the castle, of “sixteenth century work.” There is a big armchair fashioned from the stones with a stuffed’leather back set in. This is called the queen’s chair, and point- ing to a circular aperture in the stone wall near by the host wij tell you to look at the most beautiful picture of the gdeen in the distance. Of course, ou go up to take a look. The opening set” with a mirror, and your own features grin at you from the wall Not far off is the jail, a small build- ing, also made from cobblestones. Back through the grated doorway a picture is arranged in such a way as to give the effect of a criminal sitting in his cell. Above the doorway is a lifelike face, much resembling ex-President Cleveland, and with a cement nose. There are many other curious things which must be seen to be appreciated. Colonel Dye says that he has done all this from time to time to make himself W THE SAN FRANCISCO SUNDAY CALLD! and wife a unique home and for his own pleasure. He owns the lot back of his home grounds, at 1550 Tenth street, and it is his {ntention to build a flat on this lot, so that people can enter from Ninth street into the Wonder Tree, and £0 on out to Tenth street again without touching the ground if they so desire. Dr. C. W. Emerson of Beston, the lec- turer and scholar, said of the oddest house: “I have been over the world as much as any man, and I have never seen nor heard of anything the coun- terpart of what you have on this place.” The oddest house in Californla {s worth many a day’s journey to see. ALFRED DEZENDORF, e B; Harry Preston f HIS TRAINING & HAT you need,” sald the younger Miss Rodman to the big young man who lounged on the rail, “is a thorough course of gprouts. You can’t expect to win Nan's heart with five- pound boxes of candy and expensive flowers alone.” “1 imagine I am a trifle—er—raw in these things,” said Hicks, smiling at the earnest face before them. It was an attractive face, full of pretty dimples and prone to flash upon you some surprising expression you had never dreamed could be so entrancing. “I am a rather faint-hearted cour- tier, I'll admit,” he added with an easy laugh. “You are, that's true,” sald Miss Rodman. “Girls—especially girls like Nan—admire aggressiveness in men. You are altogether too passive. It fairly made my. bload boil the way you let that presumptuous young Wil- liams take Nan from you for a drive Just now. What made you let her g0?" she asked suddenly. “My dear Mijss Rodman,” said He, “I am not Nan's keeper. What right had I to say whether she should go or stay?” “Act as'if you had the right, any- way,” she advised. Hicks laughed. “I'm fearful of the consequences if (< e B I did,” said he. “You see all those years when I dwelt at the mines with only the soclety of half-breeds and Greasers have done their full work. In the soclety of such women as your sister I'm as bashful as a school- boy.” looked at him and a frank smile curved the corners of her mouth. “I'l help you,” she sald. “If you were like the other men here I'd never offer my services; but you're so big and good-natured and so helpless. I'll take pity on you.” “Thanks,” he sald. “I need help bad- ly. What do you Intend to do?" “Educate you,” she sald, “or educate the fear of women dut of you. I be- lieve I'm the only girl here you're not afrald of.” “May I ask for some hints.as to your methods,” he sald. “I'll serve as dummy and instructor in one,” she explained. “You must de- vote two weeks to me. Begin as if you had just met me; take me driving and to the dances and all that sort of thing. In short, make love to me and finally propose. I'll watch you carefully and give you pointe. When you've taken your diploma in this course strike out for Nan." 3 Hicks straightened himself on the veranda rafl. “I'm awfully grateful to you,” he sald with conviction. “It's no end kind of you to take this interest and trou- ble. When do we begin?" “No time like the present,” she laughed. “You may go down to the stable and get the cob and take me for a drive.” “Look here,” sald Hicks, “I'll do my very best, and I'll try to get my les- sons thoroughly. I'll bring some candy along, too.” “Not yet,” she said. “That will come in the advanced lessons.” She watched him walk briskly down the walk. and a bewlldering smile brought out all her dimples. “I wouldn't have gone with Wil- liams if I'4 been Nan,” she said point- edly as she went into the house to array herself for the drive. s - N . . . The next two weeks were busy ones for Hicks. He was devotion itself to the younger Miss Rodman. He took her to the Casino dances and sent her endless supplies of candy and flow- ers. They drove together through the surrounding country; they poked about the river in a punt, and dis- covered all Sorts of jolly retreats and quaint little lovers' nooks. Thé elder Miss Rodman looked on with condescending approval. She be- gan to treat Hicks with sisterly frank- ness. Two weeks earller this would have made him extremely uneasy. Now he did not care. Hicks and his instructor were punt- ing on the river one afternoon. The &irl looked up suddenly. ‘“You're coming on all right,” she sald encouragingly. “I dldn't know you could say such nice things as you have this afternoon.” “Neither did 1" he sald with a frankness that set them both laughing. “I think,” sald she, ‘“you've got about all.you can out of this course. Therefore, I'll give you your diploma, and you'd better begin on Nan.” “Just a little longer,” Hicks object- ed. “I need more confidence yet.” He looked at the girl quizzically, and their eyes met—only for a moment, for hers suddenly fell, “If you like, then,” she sald, and laughed rather artificlally. Two evenings later they sat in a quiet ccrner of the Casino veranda. Through the open windows came the dreamy notes of a waltz. Hicks lean toward the girl and took one of her hands in his. In the moonlight he saw the tell-tale color creep into her ch “You haven't any idea what your struction has come to mean to e he sald. “But now that I have lear what it means, I can't live without You must instruct me through life shan’t say will you marry me, but you must marry me, Betty.” She started, thea !aughed softly “Oh, yes, of course, the propos: she said lightly. “I've né criticism to make; it's very well done. Only you the really tical must remember at time that my sister's name is Nan, not Betty."” “This is the critlcal time,” said he gravely, “and you knmow I'm not re- hearsing. I've not given thought since that first I've been in earnest, t est, all the tim haven’t been, t . She was silent. “Weren't you in earnest?” he asked in pleading tones. “Her eyes were looking pensively, far away, but her hand tightened about Don't his. g “Did you ever suppose I was a kin- dergarten for Nan's suitors?” she asked. -+ I | | BENDING OF THE TWIG | Fable for the Foolish ! - — HE old saying has it that the child is father to the man, but to that sage remark, as we shall at- tempt to illustrate in our poor, weak way, should be ed the other proverb that it is a wise child that is able to recognize its own father. Those who are aware of the extremely small percentage of wisdom at large among the human race will realize the pitiful condition of ignorance to which most of us are reduced. If the average man at the age of 50 years could see himself at the age of 20 he would probably swear out a' warrant for his own arrest on the ground of being a suspicious charadcter or a vagrant without visible means of support. In order to give the proper weight to this sober study of applied sociology It will be necessary to cite a few lurid in- stances from the career of our friend, Willlam Henry Binks. When Binks was considerably younger than he is now, and before the flight of time had rubbed the once luxuriant herbage from the corners of his forehead and marked that same forehead with vari- ous and sundry longitudinal dimples, he had been considerable of a rounder. It Bill's thirst wasn’t quenched it 1d + sides, wesn't Decause he didn't make suffi- clent endeavors In that direction. For & young man he had a large and well assorted knowledge of mixed drinks and could give the ordinary dispenser of liquid refreshments péints on the proper manner of compounding lquid concoctions that were warranted to keep out the cold and muitiply the number of objects visible to the naked eye. It must not be understood from this that Bill was a common drunkard; as a matter of fact he was a most un- common drunkard. The only thing that saved him from the reproach of fall- ing off the water wagon was the fact that_he never got on it. But decreasing the world's visible supply of spiritus frument! was not Bill's only activity. He labored under the impression that he knew a good horse when he saw it, an impression that has been productive of more un- availing grief than history has anv The only horse that a man fety is a saw- hanker to that particular varie- record of. can really bet on wi horse and Eill anything about ty. Bill's father had press upon that modern ed prodigal son the importance quiring large bunches of knos so that he should start square the boys who had had the advantage being born on Indiana farms and pull- ing sassafras roots for a living In their indigent youth. But Bill didn't seem mpressed with the desirability of starting early. Any- thing that was to be pulled off early aroused his displeasure unless he could stay up all night to see it. Even the early bird story was wasted on him for the reason that he believed that the bird who stayed out all night could gather up a pocketful of worms on the way home and score a point on the poor bird who had to shave and dress and run for his train be- fore he could get to where the worms hung out. ‘When the proposition was put up to Bill that a college diploma would be a good thing to hang on the wall of his office he ducked and countered with the argument that if he lingered in the classic halls of learning the amount of time required to land the sheepakin, the offices would all be rented Be- he inquired, who was going to re- imburse him for the good times that he hadn’t had while he was adding to the incomes of the stockholders in the Mid- night Ofl Company. So he sidestepped and let the college course go by. The next idea that was handed out to him by the parental hand was that he should go into business. That wasn’'t quite so bad, because business doesn't entirely Interfere with the important pursuits of life, but Bill had his doubts about the propriety of tying a young and high spirited colt down to hard labor when he was just off the grass. The only thing that seemed left for Bill was the House of Correction, when he accidentally crossed the trall of a fair, youns, gentle thing with a male parent who had so much money that he spent most of his time going around looking for places to lose it. Bill de- cifled at once that he knew an alley where the old man could drop a bas- ketful of it any dark night. When he made the proposition to the young lady she admitted that there seemed to be something In it, inasmuch as Bill was not without certain qualities that are supposed to appeal to the fem- inine heart. He could wear his clothes as though they had not been worn by more than one person before he came into them and he could walk into a room inhabited principally by beings of the opposite sex without falling over a chalr or getting mixed up with the rug. These are qualities so rare among the common or garden Ameri- can male that Bill was a marked man for that reason. It i3 useless to make a short story unnecessarily long. In due course Bil entered into matrimonial relations with the young lady, and incidentally with a fair share of her father's flithy but eminently desirable lucre and settled his neck into the collar like an old plough horse. At last accounts he was one of the deacons and had a box at the grand opera for the full season. If any one were to ask him how long it woul take a man to walk from Madi- son Square to Forty-second street after midnight he would probably put his hand on his watch and call a police- man. It may be that he has reformed and it may be that he has simply blown off his superfluous steam. At any rate, it is wise before we express any opinion as to the effect of prema- ture bending of the twig on the future inclination of the tree to discover whether the twig is naturally warped or is only being slightly deflected from its proper course by a temporary breeze. —Copyrizht, 1903. by Albert Britl. early tried