The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, April 3, 1904, Page 14

14 bless her—is In than one rst place, n effective frivolous, so while from teas, recep- een taking & Bt ir nning a serles of - srprises that will make her step- wuring the six weeks of sackecloth ndustriously ingerie, and laid care- chest e been nd it was t was chos- s a matter of ¢ y laces and een neglected, un- hand-made, e of exacting were i ens, trimmed an drawn work and flowers, are by far and as the rufiling— Q) ed by the yard quite ready for . such sets are neither very expen- or laborious, and they certainly have the advantage of being not only do smart looking, but ex- serviceable as well. A pretty potion that has been a de- lightful windfall to the bride of this year is the so-called “shower.” Instead of giving luncheons it is quite fit to is- sue cards for an informal dance, a din- ner or a musicale, and just wherem the difference lies is just here—at the »ottom of the invitation the words Linen shower for Miss Smith” con- veys the idea in a very delicate fashion at all, whether they put in an ap- ance or not, are expected to con- »ute a piece of linen, or to be exact, ever chances to be designated—for tance, a table cloth, half a dozen ins, towels or even tea towels not only come under the head of linen, but are useful and very acceptable as well. By the \e one is happily over and e collection stowed away in the sure box, another friend sends out cards for a “crystal shower” and the merry work is kept up through brass, tin, books and like until the bride-to- be has been literally showered—del- uged, for a fact—with gifts of all kinds and descriptions. Right up to the wedding day this delightful little cus- | SOCIETY DIVORCE By Hate Thyson Marr. <+ ein hy: the reform moral of proval or disapproval seal of respectability never ng else consequently are are negative. old wome they d a fatal at- ng in the o sit in o eradicate. rs with barrels r wrestled d more atutinal rey would know all with its variations and its duels of sought to regulate by such strenuous 14 drive divorce out the divorcee to the f *“innocuous desue- born in any such dreary vorcee was not pledged refuse the re- any been di- g the life- No considera- yeence of the ) it was linch against not te divorcee, but 1 pledge not to gathering any rson nor v one to torily, ed g the Christians, » plenty of orga out r having known know not what y be lots of Chris- nove, but I fail to that loves its ty New York, particularly butter pastry crust of pie rich and juicy with di- its presto— who figures charitable es felt the sting direct, as her own had figured in one of the nal cases where marriage n nine minutes and fifty- after the signing of the me followed w <t sensat nine seconds decre C rchmen of ever rtuned to be in r been imp moment trouble was shaken to sea) her to another. Be it said fo their credit, one and all refused, so & civil officer having less conscience and n greed of fees made a mockery ceremony that should be held . the question was: Should the mother subordinate her religious beliefs to her maternal instincts or th contrary? and she indignantly with- drew her name from the club role as infringing personal rights and oppos- 1hz the most sacred prerogatives of motherhood. If many other mothers had the same courage fewer daughters would drift onward nd downward. No matter what a woman may do, if her mother upholds her, society rec- ognizes her. To ostracize a woman who is good but unfortunate is to mur- der very soul, and these uiltra good people are the most heartiessly crael of murderers in this regard. There is mno denying that many women obtain divorces simply in the hope of le zing a liaison that is ao insult and an offense in the sight of God and man, yet there are many good and true women to whom the divorce court is the vestibule of heaven. Where it is otherwise it needs no evidence. A hasty marriage tells the whole story. The woman who has suffered longs to be free and the first breath of freedom is too sweet to be lost again in the uncertainties of a new venture. She must have time to cool off, to forget the sorrow and humiliation of her life, and later should a new love come, it is heaven-sent and a blessing that comes in the nature of a reward. But to exbect a mother to lead the vanguard of ostracism against her own daughter is to insult her womanhood. Whether she be innocent or gullty let the mother treat her in such a man- ner as will lead the world to judge her kindly. Then came the question of gambling and of bridge whist There is an element in gambling that s nine out of ten women. Big » euchre parties, given in the of charity, are somewhat de- moralizing. Women will make woeful exhibitions of themselves in their eagerness to secure a 10-cent prize when they could buy a freight load of such trash and never miss the cost. There is something revolting in the idea of inviting one’s friends to play cards for money, and that refined women so far forget themselves is 1azing. The domestic upheavals that have disrupted families in consequence zre incalculable, and the woman who becomes an enthusiast will pawn her jewels, obligate her husband and bring ruin on herself to gratify the craze, while the winning element find It a means of more luxurious living. pid this club could eradicate “bridge” one long stride in doing good might be ac- complished. Drinking in public was another poiat of attack. Drinking is largely a mate ter of environment. In the Easte ern and Middie States very little wine is indulged, and blue and white ribbon societies sway public opinion. Children are fed on temperance lectures and the majority take the pledge before shaking their pinafores. The German gives his children beer freely. The French and Italians be- gin earlv to imbibe light wines and Chie antl. In the South tradition hath it that the old= fashioned side= board, or the newer buf. k. fet, must . i have its array of decanters o well filleq & P % old Soulhe{-: ; homes the wide chimney places in the parlors have tiny little closets on either side large enough to % ¥ accommodate a gener 3 ous looking bottle and tumblers. The momeny - one enters it is customary to offer a glass of wine with & dainty bit of cake or sweet crackers. People accustomed to good living with wine in plenty on the table are not going to deprive themselves of the luxury. A few years ago it was shock- ing to see a woman drain a glass In public, but in these days when dining and after theater lunching in the splen- ' THE SAN FRANCISCO SUNDAY CALL. ; 1= = f’j]/’/’/;lwwu): 7' 4 414 cafes of New York i universal It is folly to hope to restrict the indul- gence. It is horrible to see young girls imbibe for fear of the consequences, yet when it becomes a question of ask- ing seasoned old soclety matrons to astonish their dlaphragms by potations of cold tea or pink lemonade the ma- tron is naturally aghast. And decollete gowns! Oh, my dear sisters, think you you can or ever will banish the decollete? Nay, nay, nevaire, ‘.whfle woman {s vain and men admire. Every woman possessing 2 pretty neck and shoulders knows that she is more attrac- tive in a decol- lete than she will ever be in & stock collar. A man may be a crank and object to his wife or daugh- ter wearing such a gown, but he will also be the first to remark Mrs. Charming's gleaming white shoulders, and the man whose wife’s anatomy will not stand an evening gown is half ashamed of her out-of-date ap- pearance when at a fashion- able function. It is a man’s happlest pre- rogative to feel proud of his And so it is with other things. tom is kept up and then and only then are the suffering friends permitted to accumulate one extra dollar in their pocket books. So, if you, Miss Bud, or you, Miss Blossom, are thinking of tak- ing unto yourself a lord and master, choose the present time, for while the {dea is undeniably a delightful one as far as the bride is concerned, it Is too hard on the public in general to with- stand the ravages of years. For the wedding rift itself, silver and brass are quite the “prdper caper.” Silver bowls for frult, silver trays for dishes and bottles, and, of a truth, everything that can be made of a dain- ty filagree pattern, for, while cut glass is beautiful, costly and always appro- priate, it breaks unless handled with the greatest of care, and the idea has suddenly come into vogue that wed- ding gifts should last an eternity in- stead of a few years, or mayhaps a few months. And the sudden popularity of brasses and candlesticks, big and little, beaten or plain; bowls, vsgses, stands, trays and In fact a compiete list of every- thing that one could think of, both in the useful and ornamental line. The lamp made of cut glass or crys- tal and mounted in silver has been surpassed by the intricate shade of brass lined with its deep red or rosy pink and mounted on a figure that has risen to the occasion. First one arti- cle and then another has been remod- eled and practically made over, with the exception of the candelabra. It must of necessity be silver, else it would not correspond wigh the silver setting of the tabie and the pretty ef- fect of the dinner service would be ut- terly ruined. Another wrinkle has this progressive Easter miss, though in ali probability she would not care to give her secret away. If she issues cards to several hundred guests she naturally counts on as many gifts and she has shown her ingenuity by devising a scheme whereby she can prevent recelving a multitude of duplicates. She knows, as well as any one else, the shops that receive the greatest number of orders and straightway hies herself to the sil- versmith, the furniture man and the dealer in Oriental wares and leaves strict Instructions that a case be filled with certaln articles that she especial- ly wants for her new home. As each buyer comes in and wonders helplessly what It shall be, the wily clerk asks what wedding it Is for and upon hear- ing Miss Brown or Miss Jones he promptly takes them to her case and with the art of persuasion that Is at his command, finally succeeds in sell- ~=Mzs- HH-BrOwY BY , THOTOGRAPY g 2 [ApEMcHT ing them something from fhe chosen bits and it is taken away quickly to be marked. Now and then the tea pot boils over and trouble brews instantly. The buyer is obstinate and-prefers to select his own gift instead of having one saddled upon him whether he will or no, and then the clerk has the dis- agreeable duty thrust upon him of tell- ing the irate patren that Miss Jones already has a sugar bowl and that she much prefers the Martha Washington pattern. In fact, 2s he waxes con- fidentlal, to make a sale, he discloses the fact that Miss Jones selected the presents and that all that remains to be done is to pay for them. Then one of two things promptly happens. Either 2 choice is made in a haphazard, don't- care fashion or else the friend is too in- furiated with the fair lady to buy her anything at alt, for girls, put it down in your book and learn it as you would French or German”that the crotchety regard this as an insult pure and simple, and if they are not permitted to use thelr own judgment and buy what they please, their purse strings close with a spring and all the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t get them open agalin. The last and, perhaps, the biggest consideration of the Easter bride is her gown and its dainty trimmings. It must not be of satin nor yet of a shin- ing silk, but rather a soft clinging mus- lin or the like over satin and make very, very simply. A long train, If Miladi pleases, but without the fuss and feather that has usually delighted her very soul. The waist must be a very marvel of simplicity. Rare old lace in the yoke anad sleeves, if it can be afforded, and a sweet baby effect coming to meet it, and lo and behold, the result is a crea- tion that would make the goddesses turn green with envy and gasp with surprise. A bride, no matter whether she be an Easter one or not, never makes any dis- play of jewelry, excepting the gift of the groom, and just at pressnt it has pleased his majesty to decorate his wife, and how proudly he says and even thinks it, with pearls in every conceiv- able shape. In rings, pins and in strings, anything and everything of pearls, and while the superstitious shakes her head and asks for another stone, preferably diamonds, the wise girl holds her peace and accepts with a winsome smile what is given her, for early in her age and generation this Easter bride-to-be has discovered that peace, quiet and respect are valued above gold, silver or preclous stones, and she begins early in the game to see that her cup of happiness is full to overflowing. - RAGTIM By a Cheerful Silurian. ’ SN'T it spreading? I think In the terrible Chicago holocaust, where so many happy children and in- dulgent mothers and friends met such a terrible death; in the lives that went out on Puget Sound so lately, in numerous accidents by rail, steam- er and elevator, we are brought to see the lack of thoroughness in duties to be done. One sees it everywhere; the wasts of good material, “there’s plenty more”; the “nickel in the sjot” for juniors Instead of the little bank; the candy in the mush, as if it were not good enough to go on its own merit; the tiny seams on many ready-made clothes, seams for rush work, not for wear, that pull ‘out ere the gloss is worn off; the sewing that rips as you g0, threads and ends poorly fastened; skirts and shirt waists with safety pin attachments, making little tears in all they touch and making new clothes a frequent necessity. Music hath lost its soul and charac- ter its pearl of great price. The mar- riage certificate is supplemented by divorce; love once 8o enduring trips the fantastic toe and skips out, leav- ing the home in the Sheriff’s or auc- tioneer’s hands; two lives go strug- gling out on life’s sea; too often one goes by the gas route and the other goes behind & counter or into & tele- phone office. Fathers toil and toil, enduring to the end, for luxuries have come to be requirements. Maud must have} a watch at 11; all the rest of the girls have them; Clyde has to have a wheel, end the four-bit and six-bit re- pairs are numerous; Rich- ard must play tennis be- . cause all that crowd R play; the dance goes > gayly on, twosteps and waltzes; no need for dancing schools; i Ethel and Gerald can 4 pick these up any- ¢ where and whisl themselves into nerv- 7 sus prostration. Moth- » ers are struggling with aill the many laundry bills or ironing and making shirred yokes, new tucks, flounces, etc.; no time for % reading, visiting old friends 4 or improving onesself. P ‘Where are we all rushing > ' to? Can’t we weed out some of the useless trash, concern our- selves to spare the mother who is our best friend—or ought to be—until we marry? And oh, the friv- olous matches! The husband wakes to find one Incompetent! He has loved “s girl with the dreamy eyes.” Now he needs good, hearty meals, a clean house, a sensible, tidy wife—no un- combed hair at breakfast table, soiled wrappers, worn and torn dress ruf- fles and braid; languid hours over a novel and “Dear Harry, will you go to the theater to-night? I just adore Mrs. Langtry. No matter about din- ner; you can meet me at — cafe. Be PSSR SN S sure to bring a bunch of carnations— the big ones, like those you used to sendeme.” “I'm tired to-night, Audrey; won’t to- morrow night do? And our bills are coming In for the wedding presents we gave Nell, the violet tea you gave and my club dues and that silver chain for the dog, etc. Dear me; I dldn’t know it_cost so much to keep house.” “No; I must see Langtry, Harry; we won't have another chance. You used to try to please me; now you want to settle down just when I'm commencing to have a little fun.” Oh, incompetent mothers who pro- duce such wives to make homes, to preserve our nation! who “lecture™ children and then give up and let them have their own sweet will until noth- ing suits. The children I see stamping their feet in deflance of mothers and " fathers; crying in chided anger on the cars, steamars, eto—what lasting com- fort can they bring even to doting parents, who lack the firmness to carry on the noblest work God ever gave to parents? To say the least, “heavens!” and “Oh, Lordy,” etc., were not once con- sidered ladylike. And how infectious such things become. Songs that move one’s soul; music that leads armies and even softens a nation and uplifts it; dancing that molds to grace and shows elegance of manner and mo- tion; beauty that grows from true in- wardness; character that makes a true man or woman; deep love and tender- ness that makes a home worth hav- ing, and all the sterling accessories are what we ought to cultivate Instead of ragtime to have a royal America, & nation to lead and last. - Throw Prayers B S —— Along the sacred road of Nikko, in Japan, is an idol about which centers one of the most curious worships in the world. Upon the surface of the statue are seen little pieces of what appear to be dried paper. If you stand by the idol for a while and wait for the worshipers to come along you will see what these bits of paper are. The devotee halts in front of the image, then scribbles a prayer on a bit of the paper. The wad he then chews up into a ball and hurls at the god. If it hits the face and sticks the prayer is Sure to be granted and the pious pil- grim goes away happy. If the ball sticks to some portion of the body the omen is not quite so propitious, and it it falls to the ground there Is abso- lutely no hope. Such a mode of prayer is even more curious than the praying wheels of the Buddhists, who set the wheel revolv- ing and reel off prayers by machinery. As John L. Stoddard, the lecturer, says: “One sees, of course, numberless strange rites connected with religion in traveling about the world, but Japan is the only land I have ever visited where deities serve as targets for masticated prayers!”—New York Times,