The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, January 24, 1904, Page 15

THE SAN MAN who puts a2 new coat of kalsomine on his past often thinks he has really reformed - * - Discretion is the aftermath of fool- hness that has cost too dear. » * * A man forsakes the evil of his w; as grown good, but because he h erown tired and dyspeptic. E * * vho think themselves “so good” are often . - * ¢ the same effect upon you when 1 alarm clock had run off an hour ahead - * * some people in the head with an ax them understand that you are in * * * wn is sometimes better than a . * - likes to crawl at the feet of the man who * * * 1 marries he wants something clinging to . * * g one's shoulder to the wheel may bruise and it works its own g id et . * ire the college we 1selves to do homage to the kly goes more so. e Lo ome than sorry. * x with hard horse sense is n 1 s a hter out of her n Love target 1ay be a pretty g s yet mev ot Ao w who always * * * I's cynicism often discounts a wise man’s B N * mstance trumps nearly every game inlife who naughty and d buzzing in n be danger wakes 1an may do many things which she considers in another woman she would prénounce bold R Gl breeds crimes in the rich as does poverty in "THE MERCHANT | WHO BEEFED INCESSANTLY | . 1903, by Steve Floyd, N. Y)) NCE upon a time there lived in the town of Nellisville a man named Remus Bres- drug store and carried a full line of school books, fishing tackle, garden seed and toys—when f they were in season, Remys was a natural born beefer. He lin. He ran a santly. shy a suitable excuse mp one. If trade was a sh slack he would k v. If business was brisk he would go over the. books, after the rush was over, until he could t on that same day way back in the year so and k in about six bits more, then he would make and tell his wife if she did not ease up on the 10ld expenses he would not be able to keep his head above water. If there was no sicknmess ‘in-town Remus would raise lumbia because there were no more old-fashioned If - an epidemic struck ' Nellisville he would up a full-sized groan to the effect that there was no in the pesky new-fashioned prescriptions written v Doc Tetter. f the weather was bad Remus would fret himself into a fever because the farmers could not get away from home to invest in pills, porous plasters and the like. If er was at par he would grumble because the ts stayed at home to tend their crops. norning as soon as Remus reached his store uld grab the city paper and scrutinize the market t as if they were the making of the breaking on was -up 10 points he would count the awer, look suspiciously at his clerk and y more had not come across the counter. 1f were down 2 points he would tip the clerk off t on the soft coal, no matter what the thermom- to say about the weather. the consolation round of the calendar was d the Young Americans began to mail their anr instructions to Santa Claus, Remus got out the catalogue and made up his order for holiday goods, h consisted of dolls with moving eyes, flowing curls and sawdust in steam cars with clock machinery, “Remember N and “Forget-Me-Not” cups and sau- cers, fish and ducks with magnets in glass top boxes, Christmas cards with snow-covered barns and windmills on them, plush bound photograph albums, Roman can- dles, Noah arks, firecrackers and the like. The whole caboodl!e footed up to fifty simoleons. Remus touched his little iron safe for the full amount and inclosed it with his order. Then he looked in the back of the almanac to see what the state of the weather wonld be on the 24th inst. The dope said “Fair; fresh, southwest to west winds, turning to snow and followed by clearing and colder.” Remus was skeptical. For all that he knew the prognosticator was not at his best when he made his calculations. Anyhow, he was fifty to the bad, for the mail had gone to the station and he was in an awful frame of mind. g up a howl FRANCISCO SUNDAY CALL. BATTLEGROUND of EASTERN ASIA o+ Continued From Page Four, way from Fusan, the Japanese foot- hold on the peninsula, to Seoul, the capital, a distance of about 200 miles. The strategic advantages of this rail- road, once completed, to the Japanese would be enormous. By means of it even should Russia sweep the seas, which is extremely unlikely, Japan could yet maintain an army in North- ern Korea, the island studded straits between the peninsula and Japan be- ing rather narrow and difficult of navi- gation. Probably all the navies of the BHast would fail to maintain an effective blockade here. But unfortunately for Japan the railway is still on paper, with but one complete section of twenty-five miles in operation. The project, however laudable from a patriotic point of view, did not appeal to the Japanese investor, who can put his savings in railways near home which pay anywhere from 10 to 20 per cent. The work of construction advanced by inches and only at this L day the imperial Government has been authorized by the Diet to take over the railway and push it to a speedy conclusion. But the differ- ences between Russia and Japan will probably hhve been settled before it will be necessary to take this extreme- ly important railway into considera- tion as a factor in the game of war. In conclusion it may be said that Korea is about as large as the Empire State and that its position on the East Asian_map closely resembles that of Florida on our own coast. Had, in- deed, Florida remained in the posses- sion of Spain and Spain remained a great power our position in the matter would have been very much the same as that of the Russian Government is in regard to a Korea in Japanese pos- session or under her political influence. The strategic railways between Port Arthur, on the Liaotong, and Vladivo- stok, on,Peter the Great's Buy, must pass within a few miles of the north- ern frontier of Korea, and they would be constantly exposed to destruction at the critical moments when their maintenance would be of vital import- ance to Russian dominion in the Far East. Again, with Japan strongly fortified on the south coast of Korea, at Ma- : 3 ¢ Wateh for BOOTH TARKINGTON’S Best Novel, “THE TWO VANREV- ELS.” Begins in Next SUNDAY CALL. [ o+ sampho or elsewl.cre, communication by water between the two great bul- warks of Russian power and dominion in the Far East, which I have already mentioned, would be extremely pre- carious. . Here we have the elements of the irreconcilable quarrel, and yet the bloody phase, the trial of strength by battle, may be postponed. Russia can wait better than any other power In tl.. world. All her great victories have been won by waiting. One thing, however, is quite certain—the finances of Japan will not permit of her keep- ing up her presoat very effectiye armament by sea .nd land. It would have been better for Japan to have fought last ycar than this; better this year than the next. A postponement of the conflict may be secured by Russia permitting the occupation of Korea by Japanese forces to maintain law and order in the kingdom, which is fast lapsing into anarchy. Public opinion in Japan would be appeased, and in the mean- time Russia would consolidate her power in Manchuria, in the Liaotong Peninsula and in Eastern Siberia, and await her opportunity—which could not fail to be more favorable than the present—of driving Japan out of Korea. She compelled the withdrawal ot Japan from the Liaotong by diplom- acy and by putting ‘her fleet in war paint. She may aspire to gain posses- sion of the Korean Peninsula by simi- lar bloodless and inexpensive methods, . When a married woman lectures about home and husbands hubby should be invited to tell his version of the story. 2 He e We offer no rewards for “lost time,” yet it is one of our most precious possessions. % S i s T!le flying machine may be all right, but an old d key is safer on a lonesome road. e B The most pathetic sights on earth are an old horse turned out to die and an old man whom nobody wants. e R If other people valued us as we value ourselves we would be afilicted with a chestiness that would put our buttons out of business. - - - Edery girl who works is not such a beauty as to en- slave her employer. & Were it not for envy the residential town sites would not command so large a figure. WY There must be an awful lot of solid comfort in being able to buy a lot of newspapers wherein to “boom” one’s seli. ey e When a man buys. newspapers for the purpose of advertising his own philanthropies there may be miore self-complacency than charity in the deal. = = . 2 The pessimist is the fellow whose morality has cold eet: " T e € The man with a puil and the man without a pull soon learn that altliough all men were born equal luck dom'’t always strike the same way. * - The optimist is the fellow who thinks he can always loop life’s loop. * . - . When a_girl is determiued to marry the fellow -that you don't like let her go ahead. She will -be sorry long after yqu ceased to care a rap whether she is married or not. * - * You have heard of 'a man being talked to death, but no one ever heard of .a_woman being killed that wa Wonder which one did the talkin Statistics show that there are more widows than widowers . * * * Were it not for hysterical women matinee idols and fiction writers would go’to their graves unknown pau- pers. * * * People whom nobody ever understands never unde stand themselves. at e . Cheap talk never needs a bargain counter rush. . iv % How many of the gentlemen who swore off on New Year’s are siceping off a real old-fashioned jag? Gen tlemen, don’t all speak at once. = * - How many wives who made good resolutions to be real good got there? Hubbies will please not all speak at once. - . How manv people who were going to be so awiul good have slid back in the same old rut? But that is unkind. Of course they don’t want to give themselves away. +* | - NEW FABLE | FOR THE | FOOLISH | | If breakage was light and the weather half way decent there was a fighting chance for him to .break even. But if the cards ran the other way he would be ruined for life. In due time—on the morning of the 23d, to be exact— the goods arrived. The news spread over Nellisville like wildfire. Excitement was intende. All the kids at school began to have toothache, headache or some other excuse for getting out at once, and the grown-ups took on a solemn countenance and dropped in to get a glance at the passel of tomfoolery. Remus and his clerk peeled the straw off the play- things, got covered with dust, sneezed as if they had the hay fever, priced each item and put it on top of the show- case. Then the store was swept out, the music box wound up and Remus went to theé back door to see the sun set and get a line on the weather of the morrow. He was visibly agitated. Several persons had picked out what they wanted and had it set aside. But there was a chance that they would change their mind over night, just as Josh Pendleton had done Christmas before last after selecting a salad dish and two napkin rings. Before the store closed for the day Remus threw a bucket of water into the stove to make sure against loss by fire, then he went home and removed the spots from his black suit with ammonia, so that he would be spick and span enough to wait on the ladies the next day. When the clock struck 9 Remus put the cat out and went to bed. All during the night he roiled and tossed restlessly. His wife stroked his fevered brow and whis- pered words of encouragement. But he could not be quieted. ;! Promptly at 6 on the morning of the 24th the alarm went off. Remus jumped out of bed and dressed. After getting on the outside of some fried sirloin and a cup of mocha, which he drank from the saucer, for he could not wait for it to cool, he took it on a run to his store. The only sign of life without was a pile of burning trash in front of the General Store across the way. Fog hung thick and filled the air with gloom; children were still asleep; dogs barked; roosters crowed and cows lowed dolefully. Remus paced the floor impatiently. He felt that he was up against it. Never before had he seen trade so late in starting up on a Christmas eve. Along about g o'clock the first native came in and be- gan to trade. He was followed by others, and before the whistle blew for 12 the store was jammed. Men jin- gled money, women jabbered, wax dolls cried, wooden sheep bleated, the clerk raked in the mazuma with both hands and Remus made courtesies to everybody. In the afternoon business became so swift that Remus had to send for his wife to help wait on the customers. As early as 2 o'clock prices were heartlessly boosted and the stock had to be spread out thin to make a respectable showing. At 5 everything had been sold except a go-cent vase which was cracked across its flowered side. When Remus counted up for the day and found that he was only $197 25 to the good he turned to his clerk and said, “Why in the world didn’t you sell that vase to one of vour friends?” Moral: The whole is not half enough for the average growler. 15