The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, January 17, 1904, Page 5

THE SAN FRANCISCO SUNDAY CALL. %) - > =~ - heads should be fillled too early with ideas of a possible husband, but the fact must be faced that “nature abhors a vacuum,” and if no ideal be placed in the empty frame of the fancy-free, liable to be filled with the false sentations of any ignorant girl or n with whom she comes in con- 1d she is thus liable to fall down orship the first image that pre- elf. Who has not seen a girl ive to the wiles of her music- She is shy of’telling her par- of the charm the man has for her, becomes enslaved to her fancy, and the mother is still boasting of her daughter being impervious to the attractions of the other sex, her heart s taken captive, and it is only after ge that the clay feet of her idol iscovered. In this gymnastic age, professors in a hletic art are sometimes the at- action, and I heard this week of a ri devotion to her fencing master, nything but an eligible person. means do I wish to say that music, a fencing, or any other need be ineligible as a husband, eligible, they have great oppor- jes for gaining an Influerice over nexperienced. I would, therefore, nd mothers that their daugh- ven as they were, on the the ideal, and if«their con- are encouraged instead of they < learn to distinguish ne an inverted ideal. are T By no an first fruits of the imagin- nshine of sympathy the chill of silence. the s married couples do wige Geliebte,” de- hoven, but inverted as be in many cases, it the existence of the prevent age of his father’s ship was, in the mirage seen resby in his expedition t of Greenland, but it proved reflection of the ship father was dr(flm:‘n de- inverted sight the reflection g found. may be by the 1 of life, but this s of the ideal. idealist echoes Sir Wa! cription of love: sympathy, e siiken e true ott's de and r who from fear of losing her ver speaks to her of love kely to see her waste her THE DEAN and THE COIN By Rev. G. % | W. SKene. atte < formidable er house; and apron y pass for a sishe In- 1 on rances that would be He ession here, te Right and that is some- minded, earnest S fe and and personal holine and wi ymber of rare c his collec- g one of exceptional interest. day at the British Mu going to the numismatic de begged to be shown a cer- catalogued unique. ., who knew the Dean, itself to him, and asked be seated, while he unlocked the ced the coin. The Dean keeper, th a magnifying lass, seeking which it apparently’ gav great satisfaction to find. Mr. the meanwhile turned to his papers the Dean undisturbed, of the coin having been they began to converse on matters, and presently the and, thanking Mr. C. for prepared to take his leave. order to leave ose, Good-by, Mr. Dean, we are always to see you here. But” Mr. C. holding out his hand with a “the coin, if you please, before you go “The coin? Why, I put it on the table some time ago, before we began alk.” “It must be there then,” and they pro- ceeded to look for it. The table was lit- tered with books of rence, ¢ which they had been consulting some of them open, and some shut. They turned these over again and again, they moved them by one, they hunted everywhere, but the coin had vanished. “What a remarkable thin ex- claimed the Dean. “What can have be- come of that coin? It certainly must be somewhere on this table, d they resumed their labors with ill-repressed anxiety added to their energy; but it was all to no purpose; every book and every paper was put carefully aside, but the coin was not to be found. Mr. C. was now looking very grave, as he turned to his guest. “Mr. Dean, I need hardly tell you that this has become most serious for us both, and it cannot rest here. I am responsible to the nation for the safe custody of this coin, and—" “But,” urged the unhappy Dean in plaintive despair, “I solemnly declare to you that I placed it on the table. I placed it there with my own hand. I distinetly remember having done so. You surely cannot doubt my word?” “No, Mr. Dean, it is not for me to accept or dispute your statement. My business is to restore the coin to its place, and where is it now?” “God in Heaven only knows, for I don't,” and the words were not used as they sometimes are in anger or im- patience, but with all the pathetic pleading of a heart-wrung prayer. Mr. C. glanced once more at the table, the books, and the papers, he scanned the floor, he lifted up the fender, he looked in every possible and impossible place, and then he faced the poor Dean. “There is nothing else for it. The coin is missing. Only you and I have handled it, and no else has been pres- ent. I am deeply grieved, Mr. Dean, but we must both be searched.” To his surprise, the Dean, who was very pale and agitated, drew himself up to his full height and protested that no consideration would induce him to submit to such an indignity. “You know perfectly well, he main- one tained, “that I have not got the coin, as I know equally well that you have not got it. Do whatever else you may think to be necessary or right, but I firmly refuse to be searched. I will not be searched.” “Come, come, Mr. Dean, I see no rea- son for this display of feeling. Put yourself in my place, and you will understand that 1 have no alternative. I know beforehand that it is a mere formality, but 1 can make no report unless we are both searched, and searched we both must be,” and he touched a bell. A stout-limbed mes- senger at once appeared, and Mr. C. bade him lock the door. When this was done Mr. C, said: “Morton, a valuable coin has myste- riously disappeared. To clear us from all conceivable suspicion, I want you to search me thoroughly, and then you will search this gentleman.” “No, never,” burst out from the an- guished Dean. “I defy you to touch me. I warn you that I shall defend myself.” But Morton was by this time busy turning Mr. C.s pockets inside out, and after an exhaustive but fruitless examination, he approached the Dean, while Mr. C. began to replace the books upon the table, evidently shrinking from what could not fail to be a painful and distressing scene. The Dean, noy white to the lips, and with every nerve strained to cracking, was standing with his back to the wall, and with a voice hoarse with emotion, he was just be- ginning, “I tell you—,” when Mr. C. uttered a loud exclamation of joyful surprise. The lost coin had dropped out of a book which had nearly slipped out of his hand as he was putting it on the table, and it Wwas rolling across the floor to Morton's feet. The book, which was a large one, must have closed upon it, as stiff-bound books will sometimes do. and the coin had lain hidden among its pages all the time. Morton stooped. and picked it up. and gave it to Mr. C. with the words, “Is this the coln, sir?” “Yes, yes. thank you, Morton. I am sorry to have troubled you. You can 80 now."” He unlocked the door and went out; and when he had closed it again, the Dean, murmuring, “My God, my God, [ thank thee,” sank into a chair ex- hausted. Mr. C. looked at him in silence, and stretched out his hand which the Dean grasped warmly. Then he said: “Forgive me, Mr. Dean, but what else could I do? I am as heartily relieved as you can possibly be. But now that the strain is over, may I venture to say that your conduct has entirely per- plexed me. Why on earth, as an inno- cent man, should you have been so madly determined not to be searched?” “To be sure,” the Dean replied with a weary smile. “I ought to explain. I know that you did not take me to be a thief. But five minutes later you must have done so, and I should have had to face the consequences. Now I can show you what it was impossible for me to show you while your coin was missing,” and he took a coin out of his pocket, and held it out to Mr. C. “You and all other experts were con- vinced that your coin was unique. You see that I have a duplicate specimen in my possession, and I came here to-day for the express purpose of comparing it with yours. What would my position have been if it had been fouhd in my pocket before yours had been recov- ered? I shudder even to think of it. It was a horrible moment, horrible,”™ and the Dean mopped his brow. feeling on a false quest than if she had imbued the girl with an ideal too high to be satigfied by the first aspirant. “Do you think there is such a thing as true love?” said a young girl to me one day. “Mamma says there Is not, so if ever I come across a handsome rich man who likes me, I shall be quite contented to marry him.” Truly the finder in the “‘camera” of that girl's heart was out of gear. How could she focus any true view of lite in such a spirit? As Pindar wrote: “It is duty to harbor goodly hope”; and as an Eljzabethan poet said: “Love is the only line which leadeth men to the fount of wisdom.” Is it not moreover as depressing to #nd no sympathy In the great truths of the soul, as it is chilling to have no sharer in the beautiful sights of the eye? Enraptured one day with the beauti- ful mirage effects off the north coast of Ireland I called a girl's attention to the wondrous hills, lakes, and even castle towers pictured in the sky. “Oh, I can’t see any of these things,” was the curt reply; “‘there must be something wrong with your eyes to picture them.” How- 4 . that far from the vision being phantas- magorical it was probably only the re- flection of a real landscape in the far distance. When the ideal is felt to be but the reflection of the real, the right resolution of the chord of life will not be so rare. Napoleon we are told, spent many months in the study of novels, as he hoped to arrive at some stratum of judgment on marriage, which his great organizging spirit saw was such an portant factor for good or evil in th campaign of life. How short-sighted are parents who ignore this importance! “My son will never marry,” one hears a selfish mother say, “for he has me to take care of.” So fearing to face the reproaches of his parent the ries secretly one totally-unfitted to be n mar- the companion of his life and the mother of his children, when a little timely help and sympathy In such an important step might have ensured a congenial marriage. Would not a 3 ent's care and thought often prevent a young man taking “trash for tr ire,"” to the discord instead of the harmony of life? We all know that when met by the unjust conditions of Rome, C boldly crossed the Rubicon which I between his forces and Italy pro and at the head of his faithful belans he then waged long and severe warfare against the patricians. May it not be as well to recollect that when a proper course is not given to the con- sideration of the important matter of marriage, the Rubicon of conven ality Is often recklessly crossed an long warfare ensu between the par- ents set at defiance, and the son who ar ple- feels that he has been robbed of a proper position in the ::nate of his own life? It is one of the saddest of life’s ironies that marriage, planned by the Creator (whose most beautiful name is Love) to be the joy-giving union of two comple- mentary developed spirits, is so often a failure. But would not failure meet any union contracted in such a hap- hazard way as marriage often ? What would be thought of a commer- cial partnership formed with little or no understanding of the qualities and needs of both parties? And how can “the true marriage that gives to each the strength of two be the result of unions contracted m v with a view to concomitant social ad- vantage?”’ wrote Mrs. Fitz-Gerald. Those who marry with such poor ideals doubtless attain their end, but is the end noble enough to beautify and make it one happy spring- ever-fresh joy and companionship “Love is man's grand opportunity,” gaid a great writer, and as love is the joy of human life, so marriage is its coping-stone. Matchmaking is indeed the last course to be commended, but if Love is man’'s (and of course man in- cludes woman) grand opportunity, should not more chance be given by the heads of families for their children to have this opportunity? No parent expects a son to succeed in a profes- sion, however great his talent may b:, without seeing those occupied in thot profession, and yet a young man supposed to take a good position matsi- monially with no means of consortiag with really congenial girls who would prove fitting helpmeets. “True sympathy starts from a true intuition,” but are not opportunities re- quired to test this sympathy, or the Brummagen may be taken for the real? Should we see so many unmarried daughters and should we hear of so many voung men declassed by mar- riages out of their social spheres were the English homes less stiff and inac- WACL 'A(:H[Eu_ CHALLICE their invitations to dinners s0- called “At Homes,” but all homelike surroundings are conspicuous by their absence, where is the friendli- s that makes a young man feel wel- come at the hearth during the long evenings when cheerless rooms or for- mal clubs are the only alternatives to music-halls and other places of amuse- 1t? Nature shut out of the door s in at the window, and debarred m the society of their equals, do not men often consort with girls of another platform of thought, feeling and edu- and where ne: cation, who become the mothers of the randchildren of those who ignored any possible ideal of their sbns? In the Earl of Russell's cause celebre was sounded: when an ked why he n unsuitable wife, he been imbued with any marriage he 1 into it in the one note the young had taker said that had h idea of the never would thought! was mportant of all steps, 2 of marriage treai~ o tade like a re- rage t flection in the sky, instead of being the [ > happine: he ful- ideal! said the why so s are happ because in making nets uld that women would time women spend not cages.” give half the time and care to the cul- W tivation of their intellects they do to the adornment of their persons! Then one would not hear earnest men say: “L » serious for to think How could my ideals of carried out with a frivolous woman?” What condemna- for the vapidity of women lurks onial complementary spirit I am weak, and weak rong, was once my ideal,” an, “but, alas! that ideal the sunset in the sum- we kn . to de- ¢ commonplace cism leads us, spair, and arriage love (alitagsliebe) is often the fate of yne who ceas beli.ve in the ideal aged Iir imagination. But as laws must be fulfilled they ate the truth involved True love, the gift which God has given tc man alone beneath the heaven,” wrote Sir “Valter Scott, and s also taught the eternal quality e . we can hope that there is st rnity in which to realize it. When 1 the joy of house- holds where the real union of souls is accomplished, one hes that girls would fit ves more for such a happy lot, tead of frittering all their , golf and other games. the body is of course ec 10t at the expense of the brains which stulti” in idleness. When the mirage of a happy marriage appears on the horizon of the heart, cannot a girl be intelligently told that it is an ideal placed by the Creator in the mind of man to cheer him in life's ort with the thought of the panionship if he be but quaiified to find it? But as a limb withers if never used, the © d loses its alertness when n.t exercised, and if men stamp out all *he poetry of their nature, and women ignore all the powers of their intellects, they fail to focus the object of their past ideal of being, even when It may be in sight. “Life,” as Tolstoy says, “has no joy to a rational being if he do not know its meaning,” and “true happiness in- volves th of the ideal”—seen In o+ ever, it might have been maintained cessible? Famed are the English for the mirage of marriage. : b CHILDREN’S USE OF MONEY ‘ Sixteenth Talk to Parents by Wm. J. Shearer. ; — > L HE plan which most parents fol- low in the giving of money to children is to have no system at all. While it will generally be acknowledged that this is mnot best, yet most plans of which parents know are so cumbersome that it seems impossible for busy parents to find time to carry into practical use any plans so complicated and requiring so much time and thought. Some parents feel that no child should be given any money at any time. This will certainly be the easiest way for parents; for if children know they will never be given any money they will not bother their parents for it.. They will probably worry them, however, by their demands for other rewards just as often. It is just possi- ble that these rewards will be harder to grant and less valuable than money as an educational factor. Against the custom of having no method may be urged certain objec- tions which every parent should thoughtfully consider. It tends to train a child to obtain desired money by teasing if not by dishonesty. It is apt to blunt his feelings of delicacy and give him the feeling of servility. The money being received at uncertain times is sure to be spent without careful consideration of its use or value. Under such a plan the boy has no reason for taking care of his money, a8 he is likely to have more at any time. As he receives it unexpectedly he has no time to mgke any plans or to arrive at any conclusions after deliber- ate judgment. There is no reason to practice self-denial, as he may have more to spend to-morrow. If he espe- cially desires more he knows he will have a good chance to secure it by per- sistent teasing, if not by some worse method. Some parents wisely insist that the better way Is to make a regular allow- ance to each child, no matter how large or ‘how small the nllownnce_ may be. Almost every parent does. give some money to each child. This plan simply requires that it be given regularly and in a business-like way. Surely such a plan has some advantages worth con- sidering. By giving a regular allowance the child may be taught the right use of money, than which few things are more important for the child’s future happi- ness. Much of the misery in this life is the result, not so much of the lack of money as of its improper and improvi- dent use. How many never learn to live within their income! How few early realize the importance of laying aside something for the inevitable rainy day! Is not the whole pathway of life thickly strewn with wrecks caused by not having learned the necessity of spending less than the income? The child who knows he will have a certain allowance will goon develop such practical wisdom, forethought, economy and business judgment as will greatly surprise his parents, He will be strongly influenced to be careful of his money, as he will learn that it will not be replaced until a certain time. Teach children the right use of money and you will have done much tc make the men and the women of the future less liable to become loafers, paupers and criminals. You will have done much to teach them economy, not only of mone¥, but of time and Jf energy as well. You will have taught them to be thrifty and orderly in all business and prepared for adversity. If these things are true, is not the subject worthy of most careful consideration by every parent? The principal objection to the giving of a regular allowance is found in the fact that children are likely to feel that they are given only that which is due them. While there is some truth in this argument, yet it may easily be met by having it understood that the allowance is dependent on such conduct as the parents have a right to expect. It may thus be used as a strong incentive to proper conduct. Another objection which may be urged is that if the parents give regu- larly they lose the great pleasure which comes from the child’s grateful appre- clation of what he receives unexpected- ly. However, this objection may be met quite easily also. At uncertain times the parent may very properly give additional money for exceptional acts worthy of praise, or for work done or for mo reason whatever except the desire to show a loving consideration of the wishes of the child. There are many times when every child will be very anxious to have certaln things, which could not be purchased by what could be saved from the regular allow- ance. If the parent approve the pur- chase, there is every reason for giving a child additional at such times. Even if these objections could not so easily be met, most parents would agree that the benefits to be derived from a regular allowance are greater than the selfish gratification of the pa- rent, who wishes to give to please him- self. Surely the welfare of the child is of greater importance than the present gratification of the parent. In the hope of helping those consider- ing the matter, the writer gives the de- tails of a plan used with his own chil- dren. Each child was provided with a pock- etbook or small bank, for the care of which each was made entirely respon- sible, that he might learn to guard against the results of carelessness. On Monday evenings a certain amount of money was given to each child. The effort was made to pay promptly and systematically. Only In this way would the children learn to be regular and systematic. Each one was required to save at least one-half of his weekly allowance. In this way it was hoped that the chil- dren might be taught habits of econo- my and of providing for the future. The other one-half was entircly at the disposal of each child. -This was done that he might learn to exercise judg- ment in the expenditure of money.