The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, May 24, 1903, Page 6

THE SUNDAY CALL - PRACTICAILc RACTIC fok: If ¢ be brave AL n insul e wishes t £ to take the conse - may be, but for the one an , is not and while the-J ing barrels of fun, role tha and the or being t place, the omplished, sub- been t night ven able t seem that R CHILD t for rope Excitement 1 expected, h haste in acting u gestion. i an hints were: followed with equal fervor you would be a model )ghter, indeed. Unfortunately, pa fortunately, you have a few of your own. Yes, travel would your worldly ideas immense- con : s the modern her ideas . expand t even the narrow-minded woman broadminded for her husband? ied man is not over- se knowledge of that of at- own comforts. Tt woman wlio speaks several differer languages fluently is not half o pop he who has learncd the sile: No, but we mothe: or per idea broa but woman need 100 tant count tendance upon hi: cs exceeds ves, it would be delightful to study ‘art in Rome, but would the time be profitably spent? Remember, the upon art T rongest accompiishment springtime of her ence. It is better to be ex- ful than over-artistic. The talented young lady who dles a brush to a nicety is powerless beside the coy ma cultured in t er take up ari, learn the art of cookery; for sier to rea man’s heart through his stomach than through his senee of the beautiful. Even men whose social babits make it absurd have womar is seldom nely a who depes the spr e use of M THE: OXA ULBERRY of the luckiest things in the wosld for some people is their .enem man has fight in him all he n to make him great is cnemies of the right kind. 1f George Washingtor haGn't never had enemies to Duck ag'in he'd be as dead to the world to- day as James Hamiiton Lewi That's the grate trouble with Jim Ham. Ile's 2 brite little chap. I seen him at a convertion one time half of his words were couldn’'t understand them. hasn’t enny enemies. Everybuddy laughs when they meet him and they ain’t afraid to give him the hooks when the nominations are made, be- cause they know he'll come around with a smile oozing right through his so big 1 But he ~ whiskers the next day and not a grudge in his buzzum. What's the consequents? e has to be eatisficd with twenty or thir thousand dollars a year that he makes practicin’ law insie’d of bein' chairman of the committce on fence posts and post holes or something like that and gettin® mentioned few days for second place on the ticket that'll have somebuddy clse on it in 1904 -1f he had a good, brisk enemy or two that couldn’t be happy unless they were warning cople pa’in the danger of letting Jim Ham sweep every- ng before him he would have to be dunyin’ things he sald interviews every few days, and the first thing you know e public would begin to have serious tho'ts about him and l hink there was sumthing in it Some men are known by the enemi mer s they’ve made. the cnemies they've known. There he was quietly enjoyin’ home life precautions ag’in race suicide, iin’ but a duck now and then tili Henry Wa terzon woke up with a head 21k one mornin’ and an ernust longing to save the country from its crofty foes. It happened Other are made by k at Grover. Lk 2 him m ch that true politeness and make him 2 gentieman does not ne: imal spirits are crushed. They are * chunnels. The maudlin exeuses that nauvseating, and playmates the erted info h of this 3 taugi ecn t of a charming woman whose her and her daughter alm s found that to invest apartments, promising t! exquisite home and was deriving v income when the practlcal her litehkey. mediately she friends, was se! by two fainted f ick the ma the 1 by o lights were also badly frightened. n the jokers w s she did not regain consc were gent for, and for five months lay helpless. Meanwhile her littie belongings found their way into pawnshops and she had to seil out to de v the exnenses of a tedious convales- Jce. ¥rom heing fairly prosperous she now almost in want. following she When vou consider the v burglar: secm te but liitle fun woman in such cowardly number of there would frightening a Wi hrutal be spirit of fun that play shes on a bridal To start off with, a lot o er hair and the em- v situation 1s bad g girl, but to be tagged nd made a general show ned and sensible girl. = out of hould be the happiest day of a tell- enough for a yo and beribic of is tortu Moreoy what girl's life. suci tow The far-r results of of aching humiliations one serizs occurred a ago where a well-known college .thlete was marricd and started on his ving their native city it was bad the groom telegraphed ahead, ev the couple and wire all their r the useful woman. To be useful, a woman servant problem by shouldering the ki s it too ma tappy unions have becn . the wife's cooking would not. certain fondnes need dutics personall, a ved becaus solve the is, But endeavor never to leave that to a man out of W there is no glory te be gainefl. . The laudable results which & man sees in his own labors dre even more in prominence than the evils he extracts from a womean's Mieness. Do not attempt to annihilate his trouble: vou will find jugh difficulty in overcoming pleasures. Ifa man'samuse- are notyour own, do not attempt to accustom elf accept his explanation cf the difference; the true one you even less satisfaction. ments to his; would © Be content wiih what travel your honeymoon affords; it usualiy affords ¥ o n vour husband can later on. To a man it 13 always strange what a woman can find of interest in foreign countries, when is at home. However, there are us a few of his wife's friends who wiil enlighten him It 1 thought you might return from abroad, Javing acquired notaing new save the contents of your truu nt would o with this letter. But a woman is Wween her faculty of observation and tl of imitation there cxists an eternal bond of responsive action. A man might revel in Parisian abandon and return unaltered, cither in appearar manner. But a woman, never! That which she sees she absorbs. , pursuits and suf- her brain he pally voluntaril ms onstituted that be in e or feri nass In a fously directs her thoughts and : A woman tain.cd with a foreign manner is always an ol- of curiosity rather than attraction. You complain that our American men are so common, plain unromantic. My dear, rom: s a dangerous qua ce for a romantic man is in a novel. Then if ¥ t{o men, at least your certaint unconse ject and The best pl of novels Q lit into Grover. sot. Henry's to be the closed season for Newport, so Henry The more he tho't about it the more worried h a man that takes things seriously and purty regular onless there’s been a 1ot of lies told about him. And oh, how he does love his native jand. T've got it from trusiworthy gources that he'd turn down an empty glass almosl evVvy day to keep the grand old Gover- ment from harm. ¥enry's like Lem Parker's old mare in one way. Give her a good big oad to haul around and she goes along as steddy as you please, but try to hitch her enny whare and let her stand and the first thing you know she's kickin® holes through the dash- board. They can’'t set Henry to stand hitched, and T dun- no as 1 blame him. You can't expect much from an old plug that'll walk H:lodthe stall and 3 stand thare without :# : ~———* takin’ the" trubble to look around to see whether there’s ennything wuth gittin’ scared at or not, and 1t's the same with men. So Henr¥ got the tocksin out and hit it a few good welts to let the public know that danger threatened. “Bewair of Grover,” he wrote. “}e ain’t settin’ back thare for nothin'. You can’t turn whisky into water by puttin’ the jug on the shelf, THE S LmEr AT LT TSAANE L EWS T N There see: an atble! count: overdo to be no escape from it. ¢ and had friends in e town eemed to th the others (o . The girl was made a perfect exhibltion fun was carried to siuch ex- The ry om has been large city of the whet naty in the the risk is heart > abl majorit great as Jf a convent e tremes that the honeymoon to which she a locked forward to with so much became a perfect nightmare. i Legan to dread every new move unt after three weeks of terture and hum tion, she escaped one night and ook a home without even a satchel. She 210 afterward that she had idolized the man before her marriage, but the miliation of belng made so conssicuous and the ridicule of having been (ag with ribbonz every time they took a drive made her hate him. The groom returned home worried and harassed to th verge of insanity, and. while the families k it from the general ; ublic, it was scveral before the bride could be per- even to join him and go to his hu- s0 of weeks suaded ere ave hundreds of ways of enter- taining without making a woman so con- cuous 25 to spoil all her pleasure, and in rural sections, where the callithympian is con: ed the proper marlk of T ¢ wherewith to greet a honeymoon home- coming, T do not wonder that the groom in tempted to prepare a shotgun. The many deaths that have the hazings in our national ins would suggest that they made bul and gentlemen and heroes later. followed tutions es first fellow who had studied for years in the hope of In one such instance a sturdy THE cHAIn not long ago by a TraT wasn'y THERE & * tical jokes could be called and a ence meeting hetd t be treated to many Newspapers from the tr cidentall; mig lations. teem with oke but kit the man practical ing mind ) ted who ti advantag pla jaugt to a good'laughable of the cobwebs out v all the pills and p he ph copia, but th cea: to be fun a serious ¢ed both tak We are all created more wher ages and the pra fier cleaned ¢ done by The home inflnence. man whose sight w ing beir the woman who lost cigar, tiful singing voice ing the honor appointment dinas suspended out of a window es high. sed ‘after ovér an hour of s sion he was found to be a mental wreck and died in an s insaue asylum a few vears luter. The practical joker who rocks a boat and othe have equally crazy modes of fun-making should be with an application of rawhide vigorousiy administered. joker who sends telegrams and thinks he is doing something very smart is another of the irresponsible joke fiends. When one ans the motive of the practical joke its cow- ce is glaringly apparent. In the case of hazing, which is but another mame and e, the perpetrators would not dare 2o singly to attack their victim, but go in squads, when they run no risk and the victim is helpless in thei nd to frighten ts a life di- abundantly prove. One never of the victim, The ar: ending will be more hap ed. When ot a man in whkom the. cuality. of romance is thc last v vou make, hold him as a valuable step towards Romance requires extensive imagination, and t nd enough trouble in the plain facts about stance of his imagination is not to man who cannot a woman without the as: be trusted. Reserve the mun as a last resort whose eyes speak of romance that ihe rest of his anatomy cannot &=t Q in edgawise. You state, som=what conscious-stricken, it is true. t! there is a certain degree of pleasure in making a titled bar- gain while abroad. As you know, a girl who marries a ti must unfortunately accept its pos a bonus. Were not for this lamentable 1 would advise you to devote ali vour energies toward the acquisition of rank. There is noth- ing in this country of ours wherc the benefits of equality are so highly expondui whick has more weight among the recog- nized set than a title. However, unlike the majority of fa jonable mothers, T consider your personal happiness above your soclai success. Of course, Europe would abolish your native modest Your own words—foolish lack of self.dependence. If ¥ and unassumed bashfulness have become extinct virtu the actions of many modern maids seem to avow, remember there are still a few men obstinate enough to either find their quietus in a woman or die bachelors. Whether you can afford to ignore this class or mot, you will discover just as soon as some onc in particular appeals to you in a serious light. Men clalin that they admire timidity in women, because such a feature contrasts so strongly with their own natures. But taking the present run cf men, looks as though this rea- son i= no longer an existing proof. However, it is best that your belief in the nobility of men s or in odesty as and you never can tell how soon the toad that's restin’ quiet under the gooseberry bush is goin’ to jump. What shall we do with our ex-Presidents? Hang them. I name no names, but If Grover Cleveland ain’t longing to unite the grand«old Democracy and lead it on to glorious victory he is a traitor to the noble cause, and it would be faitle to goverment by the people if we held our peace till it o was too late to stop him. The hour has come and the man is thare pr tendin’ not to no- tice it. Let us pre- pare for the worst and if it never hac- pens mebby it'll be because we stopped it in the nick of time. Where the wish is father to the tho't there is al- ways danger that the inclination is its stepmother, atleast, Grover isn't keepin’ quiet to reduce his welght. I feel it in my bones and also in my hip pocket. As the poet wisely says, l ‘Let us then cut \ looge and go it with Grover s3> a Theart for enny KEEPING QUIET fate, like a pig that To REOUCE NvrEISH T, lets you know it when it's fast be- neath the gate.” Up to that time nobuddy scemed to think th- country owed a debt gratitude thing to Grover, and the public was willing to let him go on enjoying the peace and quiet so dear to his heart. But look at the way the aroused and of or enny- =3 , by cayenne p ploits of the the sam ving giass of wine, a a penitentiary passpo: th le=s malice, b € ) at the 's expe actical joker might n receive were done W in a boarding jnstitu attacks the 1y ays think of pointed a pistol at him. , 1f ther vthing s drink Katntucky particular gen of his ol pointing toward him and like a flash pulled hi fired, dropping the other’s arm. “But,” sald the f k ne was rot 1 «ywall, mine war,” the gen lied, “2. man in Kaintucky carries a weapon ths dition.” dastardl extrav Ia friend No fur gentleman of Kentucky aded aln’t 1d net suffer. encountering the nobility uld hard be averted. At home the to venerate the stronger sex should be preserved even. though grating upon your reason and facults tion. In learning to love men in a general tiske reach a point of endurance regarding a Thus is your matrimonial content insured. it is my hope that you marry before you go abroad sible, a girl should be given a husband before an cducaticn. The one nearly alwavs makes the other - marriage, it you will preserve the ambition to greatness of men, travel, but not in his get a divorce before you start or leave it to him w turn. If indications point directly in favor of widow. await this event. The traveling widow woman men do not censure for her roving na know, the inducements offered by her mother are very slight, for as made en route, usually the interference of a mother i will object. sense, you single If pos comn your a young lad sudden as acquain more so. The gracious tourist excuse for informal introduction his position quite so clearly as on 1 nal chaperon. If possible, wait until yo my vou dream of Europe. when no one, even if th trouble, could say mere than that they marvel woman making such preparations for eternity. I who makes the mutual seldom the a sees the jus arance of a mat are age befor took the A at so old a wwing MOTHER. P. S. As this is undoubtedly the first part of my letter you will read, I will ask you here to look closely into all T have sald before you condemn me as an unfeeling shatterer of-girl- ish hopes. Even the woman who works to effect your down- fall will not put the energy into her efforts as [ have your welfare. JPULDELEY CENTER - T ER terror-stricken nation is armin’ itself against him now. Every littie while he has to unite factions a make speeches at the opening of world's falr s u . and people that used to think two terms was enough for enny enemy of the republic are commencin’ to say lots of worse things than Grover might happen to the country without knock n' it from its foundations, as long as we've got siv-vle service and most of the ones that are holdin’ offices couldn’t be turned out en- nyway. L5 A few more good ernust sockjolligers from Kernel H and Grover will have to bow to the will of the people on more, giving up the peaceful obscurlty in which he was afraid he mite have tg spend his declining years. One of thofe paper matchay men they put 7 dollars into the front of a clothin’ store could git to be a national 1 it it had good, strong, willin' enemies enough. That's anuther thing I've noticed about the Emperor of Germany. The people keep hearin’ of him right along through he ememies he has made. S'posin’ he'd of startgd in the Er peror business without an snemy ennywhe !‘? 'd be setti over there to-day. on-his little old throne, fretiin’ because he never seen his name in the papers and wonderin' if the public would take notice if he burned a dog house or something. _ Pierpont Morgan's another man nobody heard much about till he begun to have enemies. About the first time I ever seen Lis name in print some papers was givin' him a g hot roastin’, and I've been watchin' his career ever sine The more enemies he kep' * the more power he got, last nearly everybody’s ag'in him, and if he am’t run carth he's at least keepin' folks bizzy guessin' wha happen if he oversiep’ some morning and didn't toot the wh to start up. So there's no use of a man givin’ up in air because scme people don't Hke him. King David smebody said he hed his enemy wouid write a book. I wish the same thing :a 1'd like to have him write it about me. & 34 The man who never has to fret at mean things people Who never has to dndgc a brick that some one heaves his wa. TWho has no enemies that scoff and stand around and i At what he dces or tries to do may get through easy here. But when he's done and goes to grass, where all of us must go, There's very few will care a cent, or ever even know: 5 1t's not a pleasant thing to feel that there are foiks who With all their might for joy if you went wrong Al fell: 1t doesn’t help to make your dreams al! happy ones at To know that there are men who'd lke to {rip you up But even Christ, with all his love. wouid hardiy. I'm Have triumphed If it hadn't bedh for enemies he ma Yours fer Peunce JEFFERSON DOBBS. vell ome day and sht le.