The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, December 28, 1902, Page 9

Her Whimg Cause Trouble Wherever Ehe Goes, “Colonel XKate” Declares, and She Is Always the Bete Noire of Host snd Hostess—Yet With All Mer Faults and Moods She Is Zoved and Forgiven and Ex- cused on All Bides—The Only Way to Beform s Capricious Woman Is to Marry Her to & Masterful Man, ¥ eourve, ahe is pretty and attrao- ttve. Of course, she is fascinat- tng and aggraveting. And equal- ly, of course, the capriclous woman is very much spolled—but srhat are we golng to do about it? One minute we love her to distraction; Khe next we bear ber such a disiike that we wish there mever had been a woman on earth. But the capricious woman is bere, and, somehow, despite her whims, we ba strong hankering for her so- clety. Though dreading the capricious womsn and wondering whether she will choose to be sgreeable or otherwise, we pot only formally invite her, but beg her to attend our social functions. Generally we regret our mction after it is too lates but we keep on showering favors on her Just the same. For some inexplicable reason the ca- pricious womsen Is invariably excused for ber sins of omission and commission. People call her eccentric and “disagree- able at times,” but in some way or other she manages to'secure & firm hold on many men and women who are ever ready to offer excuses, no matter how fimsy, for her mean ‘htue ways, apd, often, downright rudeness. 1f you'séek the root of the evil it may generally be found in the fact that the ca- pricious | woman, having been an only daughter or unusually pretty, has been eo spofled, by well-to-do or weaithy pa~ rents apd by flattery. that she is in a measure - frresponsible. Her whims, no matter Low jarring they may be toothers, have beén referred to o constantly as “her ways!' by doting parents and friends that people have come to accept them with pitying indulgence, when, in reality and for.the gbod of the subject, they should vigorously swing a club. What the capriclous woman needs is a mester—a men who bas the courage to mssert himself and who will conquer her for her own good and for good and all. Then the capricious woman will no longer be the most aggravating thing in human soclety to-day. Th r host and hoste will cease wondering what she will do next and no longer be at a loss how to keep her in good humcr and thus i the success of the evening’s entert ment. Full of good impulses, which she spoils by her countless moods, the ca woman cannot be relied upon except to cause mischief. One moment she is all enthusiasm over this plan or that, and to further it she will do anything within the range of her hands or purse. She will assure you that all you Lave to do is to command her. She will convince you that she is the soul of generosity, enthusiasm and willingness—for a moment. Then, before you have scarcely had time to turn your back, she will forget all that.she said about, “Oh, it will be no trouble at all to help,” and flatly declare that she will have nothing to do with the under- taking. She is so utterly unreliable that, after encountering one of her many moods, you feel that you have had enough of her for a lifetime—and then, prestol she does something so lovely and gracious that you are her true and tried friend again, making the same old moth-eaten excuse of “only her way.” In sooth, the capricious woman is 'n her glory when she is engaged in helping HERE was wrecked a short time ago at Tynemouth a fine old exam- ple of Britain’s ‘“wooden walls,” named the Betsy Cairns. At the time of the disaster an enthusiastic witness, im- pressed with her ancient appearance, de- cided to investigate the history of the vessel and to ascertain the year of her birth. Efforts in the latter direction were futile, since the date of her launch was wrapped in oblivion; but he found that it was from her decks, in 1688, that Prince ‘William of Orange had first set foot on British goil. In view of these auspicious circumstances it was not surprising that the sailing ship remained in royal favor, and for many years she was Queen Anne's royal yacht. When abandoned by her royal owner, the vessel was purchased by e trader and rechristened Betsy Calrns, and flew the British flag uninterruptedly for ebout 150 years after her degradation to a tramp. But the Betsy Calirns is not the only in- stance of a famous hoary old ship. At Teneriffe,' in the Canary Islands, may be seen the remains of the Itallan ship Anita of Geona, an ancient windjammer, famil~ Ships That Have Sai to further an entertainment of any sort. In its early hours we actually thrdw bou- quets at ourselves apd declare that the event would have been a failure if we had not saved it by calling in the en- thusiastic and whole-souled aid of Miss Capricious, The awakening comes fifteen minutcs later as we are bruising our- seives with a particularly large bunch of flowers. We run across our star attrac- tion indulging one of her moods and in- ganely nursing it. She has settled down in a heap from which it is Impossible to arouse her. In vain we ask what is the iar to British ports, built in 1548. She was withdrawn from service in March - this year, her final trip being that to her exe- cution. She is the oldest vessel in the world, and in general appearance resem- bles Christopher Columbus’ famous ship, Santa Maria. The Anita was a yemarkable example of the mediaeval shipwright’'s skill, for her timbers are as sound to-day as they were, when she was first committed to the bos- om of the deep. She had weathered storms, cyclones and typhoons in all parts’ of the world. The only reason of her with- drawal from active service was her ex- treme slowness, for she was the slowest vessel afloat, occupying 205 days to travel about 700 miles—an approximate average speed of three and a half miles a day. Official records show that there are still twenty-four British ships at present fac- ing the storms of the ocean, each being over 100 years old. And these maritime Methusélahs, although slow, are practical- Iy as serviceable and seaworthy to-day as they were when they were launched. They stand as forcible monuments to the skill of the British shipbullders of the olden "THEN &ua PouTa" oY A are met with a matter ;and we typed “nothing.” Then, in our pain and disappointment, we begin to question her. ‘Has gny one offended you?"” stereo- “Oh, no,” in the most injured tones. “Has anything been said or done that you do not like?” “Oh, no,” like an icy shower bath in its effect on our spirits. “Can we do anything for you? Can we—"" “Of ‘course mot,” petulantly; *‘every- thing is all right,” with dignity. Take the case of the old Australian con- vict ship Success. This hoary old craft, which during the past few years has been on exhibition, with her weird convict oo- commodation, and thrilling assoclations with bushrangers and other notable des- peradoes, was bullt In 178). She has beea buffeted about om all the oceans of the world, and even nowy in her 1i3th yeas, is able to weather tempestuous seas. The middle-age of & salling ship -8 reckoned to be 26 years, and a ripe old age 120 years. Indeed, a vessel seldom exceeds the limits of six score years' ser- vice. But the True Love, of Hull, is an excep- tien to this rule, and has appeared in numerous roles. She is a bark of 248 tons, hailing from Philadelphla, where she was built in 1748. Her career was a proud one for the first few years of her life, while she sailed under the flag of the United States, She was then bought by a Brit- ish shipmaster and converted into a whaler, in which capacity she flgured for some ninety years. At 97, although weather-beaten and scarred with the ice floes, she was as sound as ever, and con- tinued to ply to the Arctic seas in pursuit "SHE GETS DUMPY AND NOTHING AND NOBO ARUSE . Then you put your foot in it. “Are you ill?" anxlously. Iy “Do T look s0?" with superb scorn. Right here you do not teil the truth, as you reply: “My dear, I never saw you look love- Her.” You are dying to add, “and more dis: agreeable,” but you repress the desire and return to your task of trying to make the star attraction shine once more. And it's a hundred to one that you fall in the task. The sum and substance of the whole of her calling. But her term of service - in' the: 'Arctic was" brought to a close by belng sold to a timber firm, and for forty-four years she was engaged to bring timber from the Baltic to Great Britain. At last, after a life of nearly 150 years, she was sold to dealers and broken up. . There is a Danish old-timer plying be- tween Holland and British ports, which ‘was built in Rudkjobing in 1772, and Is still running after. 130 years of service. But probably the most familiar of these archaic vehicles of the sea to the average reader is Nelson's old flagship Victory. ‘This old wooden wall passed through the battle of Trafalgar, fought in 1805, so that gives her a lease of life .of 97 years; but she w: 40 years old when she tackled the combined French and Spanish fleets, 8o that she now. has attaided a re- spectable age of 137 years. But in this peculiar instance thousands of poundg have been expended by the British Ad- miralty to preserve this grand old rello to the nation. Had the Victory been per- mitted to exist ‘after the manner of the ordinary sailing vessel she would have succumbed many years ago. b matter is that Miss Capricious has no ex- cuse for making any such display of her- self. She simply is showing to the world her well-known habit of being aggravat- ing, of taking unto herself fancied slights, and of being piqued at nothing in par- ticular and everything in general. In brief, Miss Capricious is a sulk—an incur- able sulk—who needs as drastic treatment as the heroine in “The Taming of the Shrew.” Such 2 woman can do more toward up- setting the best laid social plans of mice and men than any other known human agency. She has a streak of unhappiness somewhere in her makeup that gets a dia- bolical ‘pleasure by making others wun- happy. She possesses cold-storage prop- erties that, if put in active competition with an ice-making machine, would drive it out of business. ‘We all know her and we know that this is no libel. The pitiful part of it all is that the capricious woman Is herself the greatest sufferer from these whims that she should conquer at all hazards, but which, from- exterior appearances, she never tries to overcome. The capriclous woman displays four well-defined moods—the four acts of her little drama—before the curtain is rung down, so to speak, and she Is left alone to think it all over. The first is the enthusiastic stage, Ted the Ocean Their FUll Hundred Years and Rre 31T Scawerthy ‘There is still coasting, round the ports af the British Isles a windjammer, who, if her certificate of birth were Investi- gated, would prove that-she was no less than 220 years of.age./She took part in the siege of Londonderryin:1689. The introduction. of the steamship has practically driven the sailing vessel from the ocean, and during recent years many ships have been” broken up’ by the in- evitable ax whose ages ranged from 200 to 250 years. They were too. slow to be financially remunerative.. But, at the came time, salling ships are far better certenarians than steamships. The term of life of the latter is limited to practical- 1y a few years, since improvement follows improvement so rapidly that a steamship, in a few years, becomes too expensive to Tun in comparison with .a. modern vegsel. The oldest steamer afloat at the present time is the Sir Charles’ Ogle, .a typical specimen of early British paddle-boat. She was bulit at Dartmouth in 1830 and is thus 72 years of age, but her claim to the oldest.steamship is run very by the iron steamship Swift of Car- @iff, which is 71 years of age and is still busy tramping. ~ when, by her buoyancy and lighthearted ness, she spreads enjoyment ail around The second is the dumpy stage when, if her very life depended on it, she could not tell what is the matter, save that she is enjoying herself no longer. Then en- sues the suiky stage, when every one be- gins to notice that somthing has gone wrong and to feel the congealing effects of proximity to the capriclous lady. No one kmows what's the matter, but every one realizes that the spirit and pleasure have gone out of the whole af- fair, and they begin ta sigh for home and an atmosphere that is not depressing and chiliing and full.of mental shivers. Meanwhile, Miss Capricious, noting be~ tween sulks that she has spolled the whole evening, begins to feel somewhat ashamed, because, after all, she has her good impulses and points. But, even though she has finally reached the fourth stage, where her better self prompts her, she does not know how to go about undoing the mischief that her sulks have caused. True, she makes a hard attempt at being agreeable again, but in such a ghastly way that all hands might as well try to resuscitate a corpse as to endeavor to put any life into 4n en- tertainment after it has once rud cousites to her moods. She ought to be heartily ashamed of herself. She certainly is, and she vows that never again will she be s0 nasty— but every one knows that she has made this same resolution many times before and failed to keep it. Really, 1 fear that the only way to deal with the capricious woman, besides mar rying her off to & man with an indomit- able will and pluck, is for her friends not to tolerate her whims and “her ways” in the slightest degree. This would mean being left alone a good part of the time—and no woman can endure that. Under such- extreme, but entirely Just, treatment, I belleve that the capri- clous woman would reform, or at least make a brave effort to get rid of her undesirable ways. Unfortunately, how- ever, the capricious woman generally has @ stiff bank account back of her, or fam- ily influence, or great beauty, or some other charm that we like to use more or less for our own selfish aims; so I dare say we will keep on patiently let- ting her spoil all the good times that we plan and look fofward to so exe pectantly. “COLONEL KATE."™ ——— An Itallan electrician has iavented axm electrio cartridge, which he offers as substitute for dynamite and smokeless mcummm-- crduance.