The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, January 12, 1902, Page 9

Tom and Jerry, Wheelers. Copyright rt Howard Russell. BSTINACY or love, when folke pushes em to excess, is shore bad medicine. Which I'd be 2 heap loath to count the num- 1902, by Robe: that a-way, bers them two attribootes harries to the tomb. Why, son, it's these yere sentiments that ki off my two wheel mules, Tom an’ Jerry.” The Old Cattleman appeared to be on discussion. As a e verge of abstrac ot to be borne aphysician he ws h. There was one method of escape; i interfered to trap the currents of hi olubllity into other and what were to e, at least, more interesting channels. “Tell me of the trail—or a story about nimals,” I urged. “You were saying re- ms of oral, if not tly that pe erbal, comm ation existed between ules and that you had listened for hours the history of iting irips and what be- ; und don't forget the doubtless, it was servanis of the eir goss Give me of your fre along the ung range for 1 might_tell azin’ uch tire, ¢ your lingers. h them two days to sech degrees ar tharafrer I never water when I don't drink I'm layin’ up ag'in another relate how I stops over Springer on my way to at_a Tria dot camp led Kingm 3 ‘ere is 4 one-room e house, stark an’ sullen an’ alone the desolate plains, an’ no scenery rth but a half-grown feebie \gman ain't got no win- four-inch thick of vak; thar's loopholes for rifles in cach hows them sports ce in the stormy long-ago for more trouble than ares themse'fs. Them > ds in charge Is they allows this hey tells ¥y be—gets hold-up whose aim comes squanderin’ like 1 does, an’ butchers ineir sieep. Them cow- hears the spooks room as late as s in. I ca’ms ‘em nerve stampedes way—an’ that same midnignt the sperits comes ha'ntin’ about s out : blaukets a whoie with the butt of they an s y mule whip—the same bein’ a couple of \garoo ra This yere would front , for @ mighty thrillin’ tale if 1 throws se'f loose W s recital an’ daubs in e color plenty vivid an’ free. thar's the time I turns off an’ » the H. S. ranch for corn— said cereal—an’ runs up laigine, gun-belt, galia, hangin’ to the 0o0d, dead as George the hundred feet from the * grave ranch manager f-dozen more bout his 1 1 hiis left arm 4 at a-way; the ‘wo T > Stereit e it, win' sech recent war that the blood wet on the cloths an’ drops on r as we talks An’ how none of us a word abc he dead gent in the tonwood, r manager who's shot an’ how the same manager outfits me h ten sacks of that mule es piintin’ ou he Sou gets all I iever mentions it ontil jeet = Then thar Booth of the Fryin’ an Outfit, who's one evenin' camiped th me at Antelopc Springs; an’ whe idles up ropes onto the laigs of @ " they're stickin' forth— by them rains—off te an’ roils that copper- ne side, : ored deparied outen his sepulcher s wle Jot, an’ then starts his pony off af anter an’ sort o' fritters them remains im does this on the rgvment t the obsequies, former, jces place too near the spring. This yere pony two months later, steps in a airy dog hole, when him ah’ Sim’s go- aiong full swing with some cattle on stampede, the cayouse falls on Sim breaks everything a him incloosit his neck. The other cow-puncher allers w t's be use Sim turns out that gine over by Antelope Spring that me’ Now, that episode, properly elab'- ed, might feed your attention an’ hold 1bound some if ] was to turn myse’f loose on, r' little, them divers an’ sundry ents of the trafl, it would shorely soome years in the relation. I could »{ cactus flowers, blazin’ an’ brilllant a eye of red fire ag’in the brown dusk them Geserts; or of mile-long fields of anish bayonet in bloom; or of some cen’s doby shinin® like a rooby in the light 2 day’s journey ahead—the same . a onbroken mass from roof to round of them Eeppers they calls chili, reddenin’ in the hot glare of the day. “Or, 1f all-you has a fancy for stirrin’ cident an’ lively scenes, thar's a time wen the rains has done raised the ol nadian ontil that quicksand ford at Scaso— ic shorely eats a hundred ms if ever it swallows one!—is torn up mplete, an’ the bottom of the river 1s lin® sand, with a shallow here an’ a e deep enough to drown an’ sink a use in scooped out jest beyond. An’ I pause that week or two fer fhe er to run down an’ the ford to settle, I goes spatterin’ an’ tumblin’ an’ mmin’ acrosse on Tom, my nigh ler, apens negotiations with the LIT. ich, an’ Bob Roberson. the manager, ¢ his riders round-up the pasture, an’ mes churgin’ down to the fore with a nch of one thousand ponles: all of 'em nein’ an’ buckin’ an’ prancin® like ‘en outen school. Roberson an’ them IT. riders throws the thousand broncos ross an’ across the ford for ,mighty kely i's fifty times. They'd flash 'em rougk—the whole band together—on the an’ then round 'em up on the op- te bank, turn ‘em an’ jam ‘em througn in. When they ceases, the bottom of e river is tramped an’ beat out plump rd an’ as flat as a floor, an’ I hooks tp brings them wagons over like the rd—bottomless quicksand she is a hour or—is one of these yere asphailt streets. ‘Or, I might relate about & cowboy urnarnent which gets pulled off over in the flat green bottom of Parker's arroyo; nu’ Jack Coombs throws a rope an’ fas- tens at one hundred an’ four foot: while Waco Simpson rides d of cattle one hundred foot a throws a ties down frees at the h ay, ropes, a particular steer lariat an’ is back with them jed: ‘n_forty-eight seconds. Waco ¥ prize, a Mexican sadd un’ solid gold she is—worth four h dollars, by them onprecedented al “Or, T might impart about a Me fooneral, where the hearse that a-way is a blanket with two pole: ong the aige, same as one of these yere battle lit ters: of the awful songs the mournful Mexicans sings about the departed: of tha candles t>ey burns, aw’ the dc baby white-pine crosses they sets up on the little jim-crow stone-heaps along the trall to the tomb, meanwhiles, howlin caid dirges constant. “Which, now 1 thinks, I might bresh up them recollections of a mornin’ when 1 rolls over, blankets an’ all, onto some- thing that feels as big as a boot laig an' plenty squirmy, an’ how I shows great 7eal a-gettin’ to my feet, knowin I'1a_re- posin’ on a rattlesnake who's bunked in Zg'in my back that a-way to warm him- se’'f. It's worth any gent's while to see kow heated an’ indignant that serpent takes it because of me turnin’ out so early an’ so swift. ““Then, thar’s a mornin’ when I finds fnyse’f not five miles down the wind from a prairy fire: it’s crackin’ an’ roarin’ in feme-sheets twenty foot high an’ makin’ sor'ard jumps of fifty feet. What do [ co? Go for'ard down the wind, set fire 1G-the grass myse'f and let her burn ahead of me. In’ two minutes I'm over a burned deestrict of my own, an’ the iime wném orig'nal flames works down to my fire line that a-way, my own fire is three miles ahead. an’ T myse’f am ramblin’ slopg cool an’ saloobrionz with a safe, shore 21ea of burnt pr. to my riar, “An’ thar’s & night on the Serrita la Cruz doorin’ a storm, when the lightnin’ melts the tire on the off hind wheel of m. an’ me layin' onder it at the time. An’ it don't éven wake me up. Another time, I comes up with_ eighty In- juns at Chico Spri , who's beén down buffalo huntin’ @ the South Palo-Druro, s with 'em four hundred oddsponies -0 with hides an’ buffalo.-beefial’ all ded ;for their home ‘camps over back 108, Them ‘bucks is restin’, up for a of day or two”when I rides in op'’em; an’ later me.an’ a half-dozen jiimps a band of anfelopes jest 'round a p'it of rocks. Son. all: would have admired to &eé fthem savages shoot” thélierrers.s I oh- serves orie young buck ‘a-heap wlogt. He el A holds the bow sort o’ flat down with his left hand, his errers ‘in their cow-skin quiver sticks over his right shoulder. This way he would flash his rifiht'hnnd back, yank forth a errer, slam it on-his bow, joull it to the head an' cut it loose, is ore a heap earnest. Them missels would go_sailin’ off for over three hun- dred yards, an’ I sees him get seven started before ever the first one strikes the ground. They acquires four antelope by this yere archery, an’ shoots mebby some forty errers; all of which they care- fully reclaims when that excitement sub- des. She's trooly a sperited exhibition while she lasts, an’ I finds it mighty en- tertainin’. “Which I throws these yere hints loose this a-way merely to show you what might be allooded to by way of narratifs, grave an’ gay, of sights pecooliar to the trail, if only some gent of long experi- ences ups an’ devotes himse'f to them relations. As it is, however, an’ recurrin’ to Tom an’ Jerry—the same’ bein’ as 1 in- forms you, my two wheel mules— I reck- ons now I might Letter set forth about how they comes to die that time. As I re- marks at the go-off, it's his obstinacy downs Jerry, while pore, tender Tom, per- ishes a victim—volunteer at that—to the love he b'ars that contrary mate of his. ““Them mules, Tom an’ 4 by me. orig'nal, In Vegas. ihe wheelers of a eight-mule "team, aly, I gives Frosty—who's a gamblér an’ wins ‘em at monte of some lotoed sport from Chaparita—twelve hundred dollars. ih- cloosif of wagons, forithe-outfit. Which the same is cheap-an’easy?at double the dinero. 3 T 4 These yere mules-fids been part an’ passel of ‘the estateS of some Mexican,. for 1 fiads & cross marked on each har:: ness an’‘likewise on both sagons. ‘Mexi: cans does this to run a bluff on any evil sperit that d-way who comes- projectin’ ‘vound. Na. your Amerigan mule skinner . never makes them cro As a roole he's plumb defiant of sperits; an' even when he ain't, he don’t nacherally see no refooge in a cross. Mexicans, ‘on the otker hand, is plenty strong on this sym- bol. Every mornin’ you beholds a Mexi- can with a dab of white on his fore'erd, an’ on each check Bone. an’ also on his chin, where he crosses himse'f with flour, Shore; sald custom 'is yooniversal an’' it takes a ‘quart of flour every mornin’ to organize a full blown Greaser household ag'inst them antic’pated yerllu of the day. “Which, no'sooner am I cl'ar of Vegas— I'm camped near the Plaza de la Concep- cion at the time—when I sort o' rounds up them eight mules an’ looks ‘em over with reference to their characters. It's allers jest as well for a gent to know what he's ag’inst; an yog-an can put down a stack on it, the disp'sitions of eight mules that a-way is shore a prob- lem. “Sald review is plenty satisfactory. The nigh leader is a steady, practical person same as a lead mule oughter be, an’ I notes by his ca'm jedgmatical eye that he's goin’ to give himse'f the benefit of every doubt, an’ ain’t out to go stam- pedin’ off none without knowin’ the rea- son why. His mate, at the other end of erry, is obtain-, the jockey stick, is nervous an’ hysterical; she never tries to solve no riddles of ex- the® istence herse’f, this Jane mule don't, but relies on Peter, her mate that a-way, an’ p!dys Peter's system blind. The nigh ‘inter is a decorous form of mule with ¢no.bad -babits: while his mate over the chain is one of these vere hard, se'fish, wary parties,’an’ his liftle game is to get ms”imuch of everything except work an’ tgcuble’as the lay of the kyards permits. Li»y nigh swing mule is a wit, like I tells you the other day. -Which this anamiie is %the’life, of ithe team; allers lettin’ fly som.e ‘dry, quaintiobservation. This yere wag is:par%ic’law excellent at a bad ford or a hard crossin’. an' them gay remarks ' of his—full of p'int a bowle knife, they be—shorely cheers an’ lifts the sperits of the rest. The off swing is a heedless, Jolly creature, who regyards his facetious mate as the very parent of fun,an’ he goes about with his y'ear cocked an’ his mouth sort o' ajar, organized to laugh them ‘bah, hah!’ laughs of his'n at every word the clown mule turns loose. “Tom an' Jerry is vlumb different from thers. Which bein’ bigger, an’ havin’ gz:,emges the responsibilities of the honr piled onto them—as wheel mules must— they cultivates a sooperior air, an’ is a heap distant an' reserv in their atti- toodes towards them former six. As to each other. their pose, that a-way, needs more deescription. Tom, the nigh wheeler —the one I rides when drivin’—is infat- ooated to the limit of bein’ ediotic with erry. 1 hears a sky sharp aforetime réach about Jonathan an’ David. Yet ‘m yere to assert. son. that them sacred people alh’t on speakin’ terms compared 1o the way that pore old lovin’ Tom mule feels towards Jerry. “This yere affection of Tom's is plumb amazin’, speshully when you-all recalls the fashion in which that sullen Jerry re- ceives it. Doorin’ the several years 1 spends in the s'ciety of said team 1 never once detects Jerry in any look or word of kindness to Tom. Jerry bites him an’ kicks him an’ cusses him out constan he never tol'rates Tom closter than twe ty foot unless at epocks when he orders Tom to curry him. Shore, pore Tom sub- mits. On sech o’casions when Jerry issues summons to go over him, usin’ his upper teeth for a comb an’ bresh, Tom is never so happy. Which he digs an’ delves at Jerry’s ribs that a-way like it’s a honor. After a half-hour, mebby, when Jerry feels refreshed su’ficient, he w'irls on pore Tom an’ dismisses him plenty abrupt with both heels. ““T traks up on folks who's jest the same,” says Dan Boggs one time when I mentions tnis yere onaccountable infats yooation of Tom. ‘This Jerry mule loves that Tom mule friend of his, only he ain’t lettin® on. ] knows a lady once whose treatments of he* husband is a dooplicate of Jerry’s. She metes out the worst of it to that long sufferin’ ApGrt ot avery bend on the trail; it looks like he never wins a good word or a soft look from her once. An’ yet when that party cashes in, what- ever does this lady do? Takes a hooker of whisky, puts in sen enough to down a dozen wolves, an' drinks off every drop. “Far'well, vain world, I'm goin’ home. says this, yere lady; “which I prefers death to sep'ration, an’ I'm out to jine my beloved husband in the promised land.” 1 knows, for 1 shore attends thé fooneral of that fam’ly—said fooneral is a double-header that a-way, as the lad. bein’ prompt. trails out after her husband before ever he's done pitched his first camp—an’ later assists old Chandler in deevisin’ a epitaph for ‘em, the same caperin’ off in these yere familiar words: She sort o' got the drap on him, In the dooel of earthly lov Let's hope he gets an even break When they meets in heaven above. * “Thar,’ concloods Dan. ‘is what T re- gyards as & parallel experience to this - .K!l; maddex an’ lays for Tom an’ Tom and Jerry. This lady plays Jerry's system plumb through, ict’yw'." can see in the lights of that thar 3ooicide she loves him a whole lot.” “‘That's all humbug, Dan’ says En- right; ‘this lady you relates about is sim- ply locoed that a-way.’ ‘Why-ever if she's locoed then,” ar- gues Dan, ‘don’t they hive her a heap in one of them madhouse camps? She goes chargin’ about as free an’ fearless as a cyclone. o All the same,’ says Texas Thompson, her cashin’ in don’t prove no lovin’ motiff. Mebby she does it so's to chase him up an’ continyoo onbroken them hectorin's of her’s.. I could onfold a fact or two about that wife of mine who cuts out said divorce from me in Lavedo, that would lead you-all to conclusions sim’lar. But she wasn't your wife none, an’ I don't alm to impose my domestic afflictions on this yere innocent camp. Which bein’ troo, I mutely stands my hand.” ““This Jerry's got one weakness; how- wer, I don’t never take advantage of it. He's scared to a frienzy if you-all pulls vour gun. I reckons he allows, wilg all :hem crimes of his'n Ereyin' on his mind, that you're out to shoot him up some. Jerryis ca’m as long as your gun’sin the belt, deemin’ it as so much gameanin’ hardware. But the instant yod pulls it In play, he onbuckles int plercin’ screams. I reaches for my six-shooter one evenin’ on account of antelopes, an’ that's the time I discovers this yere foible of Jerry’s. 1 never gets a shot. At the sight of that Colt's Jerry evolves a howl, an’ them antelopes simply hits two or three high places an' is miles away. Shore, they thinks Jerry is some new breed of demon. ‘“When I turns to note the cause of Jer- ry’s clamors, he’s loppin’ his fore-laigs over Tom's back an’ is sobbin’ an’ shed- din’ tears into his mane. Pore Tom sym- pathizes with Jerry an’ says all he can to teach him that the avenger ain’t on his trail. Nothin’ can pacify Jerry, however, except jammin’ that awful gun back into its holster. Which I goes over Jerry that evenin’ patiently exploring’ for bullet marks, but thar ain’t none. No one's ever creased him; an’ I figgers, final, by way of a S’lution of them fits, -that mighty likely Jerry’s attended some killin’ he- tween hoomans, inadvertent, an’ has his apprehensions tharby set on aige. :*Jerry is so high an’ haughty he won't come up for corn in the mornin’ onless I petitions him partic’lar an’ calls him by uame:. To jest whoop ‘Mules!’ he holds den’t incloed him. Usual I humors Jerry an’ shouts his title speshul, the others bein’ ¢alled in a bunch. When Jerry ~hears his name, he walks into camp, de- lib’rate‘an’ dignified, an’ kicks every mule to;pleces wha tries to shove. in ahead. ~"Once; feelin’ some malignant myse'f, T tries Jerry’'s patience out. I don't call dJerry, . simply whoops ‘Mules’ once or twice, an’ Tets it go at that. Jerry, when he-notices ¥ don't call him none, lays his y'ears ‘Back; an’ although his rar ele- Vations'is toward me, ¢ can see he's hot- ter than-a lady losin’ mon The faith- ful Tom abides witn Jerry, though he tells him' it's feed time, an’ that them others with a nose bag on each of 'om is already at their repasts. Jerry only tries ¢ bite him.. After ten minutes, suilen ax ulky, Dunger beats Jerry an’ he comes chargih™ intd camp like a bar’l down hill ah” eases his ‘mind by wallopin’ botk hind hoefs into. them innocent mules, peace- fully, munchin:their rations. Also, after * Jeriy’s;let me put the nosebag onto him, *he reevarses;his p'sition plenty sudden an’ lets fly"at meé. But nacherally I ain’t in nb-trance, an* Jerry misses. No, I don't *frale -him; I saveys it'’s because he feels 86 hoomiliated, me not callin’ him by name sthat time. “‘As a roole, me an’ Jerry gets through our dooties harmonious. He can pull "{Q a lion an’ never flinches or flickers at & pineh. It's shore a victry jest to witness e heroic way Jerry goes into the collar at a-hard steep hill or some swirlin’, rushin’ ford. Sech bein’ Jerry's work habits I'm prepared to overlook a heap of small moral deeficiencies an’ never lays it up ag’in Jerry that he's morose an’ re- pellant when I flings him any kindnesses. “But while 1 don’t resent ‘em none by voylence, still Jerry has habits ag'inst which I has to gyard. You-all recails how long ago I tells you of Jerry's bein’ a thief. Shore, he can’t he'p it; he's & born kleptomaniac that a-way. Least- wise ‘kléptomaniac’ is what Colonel Ster- rett calls it once when he's teflin’ me of a party who's afflicted sim'lar, back im Texas yonder. “ ‘Otherwise this yere gent's a heap re- spectable,’ says the colonel. ‘Morally speakin’ ‘thar's plenty who's worse a whole lot, Of course, seein’ he's crowdin’ forty years, he ain't so plumb Innocent. He ain’t no debyootanty; still, he ain’t no crime-wrung debauchee. I should say he grades In between. But deep down in his system, this yere person’s a kiepto- maniae. ~An’ at last this weakness gets its hobbles off an’ he turns himse'f loose an’ begins to take things right an’ left. No, he don’t get put in Huntsville; they sees he's locoed an’ corrals him in one of them asylums where thar's nothin' loose an’ little kickin' 'round. an’ thar- fore no temotations.’ “Takin’_the word then from Colonel Sterrett, Jerry is a kleptomaniac. 1 used former to hobble Jerry. but one mornin’ 1'm astounded to see what looks like snow all about my camp. Bein' she's in Joone, that snow theery don't go. What is it Flour: this vere kleptomaniac Jerry has done ecrope to the wagons while 1 sleeps an’ gets away. ome after the other. with fifteen fifty-pound sacks of flour. Then he entertains himse'f an’ Tom by p'radin’ about with them sacks in his teeth, shakin’ an’ tossin” his head. an’ powderin’ that ‘Pride.of Denver’ all over the plains. Which Jerry shore frosts the sityooatlon plenty lib’ral. “It's the next night an’ T don’t hohble Jerry; I pegs him out on a larfat. What do you-all reckon now that miscreant does? Corrupts pore Tom. who. of course, is svmpathizin’ ‘round all night, an’ makes Tom go to the wasgons, steai the flour an’ pack it out to him where be’s pegged. This scopine Tom—who, nacheral. is the soul of integrity that a-way—abstracts six sacks for Jerry, an’ at daybreak that wretched Jerry's stand- ir’ thar white as frost himse'f, an’ flour 2 foot deep in a cirkle whereof the ra- dius is that lariat. Tom's gazin’ on Jerry like he allows he’s shore the greatest sport on earth. “Which this last is too much. T ropes up Jerry for punishment ropes, throws an’ hawg-ties Jerry, an" pe's jzyin' thar on his side. His eve is ob- curate, an’ thar’s neither shame nor re- pentance in his heart. Tom is sort o sobbin’ onder his breath. which Tom would have swapped places with Jerry tco quick. an’ I sees he half has it in his mind to make the offer only he knows I'll turn it down. “The other six mules comes loafs about attegtif an' respectful jestifies my arrangements ix plenty onpop’lar with ‘em by reason «f them heels. I can hear Peter, the lit- tle lead mule, sayin' to Jane, his mate: ““The boss is goin' to lam_Jerry a whole lot with a trace chain. Which it's shore comin’ to him.” “I w'irls the chain on high an" lays it along Jerry's evil side. kerwhillup! Every cther link bites through the hide, an’ the chain plows a most excellent an' whole- up_ an’ They besides Jcrey e = S NS S Continued on Page Tem. -