The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, April 7, 1901, Page 11

THE SUNDAY CALL. 11 ‘PROMISED THE MAN FIVE DOLLARS IF HE WOULD GET ME TO THE e's name, like my, own, is Robert Burns McPherson, but, like myself. he is not a poet. ' & ¥ has no profes = ng sendently . “For a music Kknew 2 been present i from e hired man and a k to get wit e @ »proved and it was found it Uncle Bo! a Marcell and she could re it when was not and ran ng. critical € of my kin my se st critics; anl upoir ired nd the book very f h mat- if 1 do say do with what b dropped in kfas wd from th knew that he had of ‘poems that of I said, for I did have ex- y after- 3.4 end have I wanted You know anged. “Do book away ried Dane last nigh s mo of a a starter to bring thou had way of mak lock t saying “1 - b 1 gone like a g oniy to pick up my hat._ 1 H I had a little over an the company’s docks at e of the Hudson train down to reet well admit that I not at blessed wtih this world’s loss of ten I could hazard the J without an effort. Dane k at the book up on deck and that concealed the bills just passing breeze, and i m be? street 1 halled a cab, = man five dollars if he e to the Holl pier ten minutes boat I happened to money sailed. my no incidents connected with Hoboken, and I arrived id my man and rushed There I found every- n. 1 did not know the PIER " pocket or I would - to feel so 1!l that I did not care what hap- pened 1 DIDNOTICE A JUNOESQUE GIRL™ “I™M GOING BACK WITH THE BiLOT"™ numher of Dane’s cab no one secmed to . know I tried to find purser, but he was as hard to find as Dane. Hurried and worried as 1 was T aid nofiee a Junoesque girl with great ox eyes. and I said to myself, “If I could have Inown some one vou 1 would ot be a bachélor to-day. Such incon- rt thou ts do make the nsit of Just then I caught a nd 1 followed him until e 2% 3 but just then the deep-throated wi boomed and he ‘did not hear me. I could hear the people who bad come t their friends off leaving the heat in shoals, but still 1 stood there and knocked. must have been @ve minutes berore »or opened, ard #hen ¢ wis not Dane a bullt and dresseq like him, Oh. 1 beg vour pard 1 hought you were my fric who has $10.000 of m nd T was in a hurry ss, vou know." Where ] Dane be? . A rushed ‘up the stairs 1 T flowing all was on my way to a moment ‘T scared, but the of the man whom I had disturbe came back to me and I deiermined to was n hiz sugg g0 back with pilot Mezan € ™ bow te stern, uy nstairs, whatever you n board ship, I eared. Could I But no, he w Perhaps he his cabin. But where an idea that there' would be a biare of trumpets and a toll of drums and no end of things when the pitot left, and 1 listéned to the engines to slacken the while I lookel for Dane: but it seems tnat pilot dees net need to stop the boat in order to get off. The purser had hitherto been hiddon somewhere, but now 1 found him and got from him a passenger list. I eagerly scanned the D’s Daibreger, Damen, Dayton, Eaton— was not on the horrible dis s 50 sure that he n line, passenger list! No. 1 A sailed on the Hu Americ: was the HoH and America line! ys mix those two lines. 1 had no idea when the steamer of that line would Perhaps Oh, how rate, ‘1 otic 1 wouid left already Well, had been! at any had . have a pleasant sail up the bay with the dftor ph piiot with a chance of getting Dane 1. It will be n that T am philcs cal. I sald to'the purs Iy ‘friend is He was busy finding places table for v s passengers who were besieging him, but he said politely, in his ldiom “Ah, that ‘is too badly. But yeu wi'l make nds on the voyage.” “But I'm t going, you know. I'm go ing back with the pilot.” The purser stared at me as if he thought 1 was luna and several r the passengers turned and looked at me with amu “The pilot departed already a half-hour rest. ago,” said he. I dropped into £ chair opposite him an1 sald, in & helpless sort of “The pilct departed? Then’ how cay 1 get home?" 1 heard a sardonic-looking man say to his wife: “Get out ‘and walk,” and 1 blushed. N But the purser saild: “You will make the return trip on the steamer. She wiil be back in four weeks.” He seemed to think that it was quite an ordinar 1g for a man to get carried off ta Europe by mistake. But I have only-five dollars with me. I didn’t come to go. 1 mean I came to go —1 came 1, go back with the pilot—thht is,” =aid 1, Yeeling that the eyes of all these people were upon me, “I came to get my meney from Mr. Dane, and he is on the Humbug-American line.”’ aid with Dutch Th phlegm! “You will have to see the captain. The Whistle blew to gct off all the people al- ready.” And then he turned to the applicants for advantageous seats at the table, and I sat dewn feeling rather queer within and pur for the first time noticed the motion of the vessel. I knew I was growing whiter and whiter. The purser evidently noticed it also, for he said: ‘Now go up and sniff gome air. It is closely down here.” He evidently prided himself on his English. 1 will send you to the captain later.”” 1 half expected to be put-at peeling po- tatoes to work my passage. That is what 1 heard they made stowaways do. What- would Marcella say? And how Uncle Bob would worry. And what would 1 do with no change of linen, no vest, no overcoat or steamer rug? Then I began wi the restless wave: frame’ of mind—to put it euphemistically. the putcome of a look at those porpoises! and saw my Junoesque young woman. saw any before. hold at sea is my to come, and I don't know what the cap- tain will do with me."” ment, laugh ever heard. give you a life-preserver and let you swim once.” n growing smalle: * 1 to the rushed up: the boat unti! I was in a better 2y side of I had heard that it 1s good to walk as much as possible when at sea, so I began 1 fro and gradually felt be to pac ter, and at last took my stand in front of the pilgt-house—if that is what they call {t—and wondered what was geing to be t my side said:"'Oh, and I turned Awsweet, low yolce “Are those porpoises?’ said I. “I-never that land conventions did not and I talked to her freely T knew “Yes,” said she. “Is this your first trip?” “Well, ye- really not sure if it You see, I didn’t mean trip at all. ed at then me in wonder for a mo- aughed the sweetest “Do you suppose he’ She loo and “A SWEET, LOW teil me, didn't you really Then she looked me all 1 to come?” over, the way ¢ woman will, and I could see th was thinking: “He is a little too we ed to be a stowaw When I am perturbed I have a way of ed up in my speech. “Why, after Mr. Dane’s $10,050 getting mi vou see, T can that I had in his book—tgat is, m unele put $10.000 in Mr. Dane’s new book—that (i in my new hook that I gave to Mr. Dane, but not the $10,000. Those my uncle gave to me, bul, you see, he put it in my book for Mr. Dane, and- so I came on board to get it lo get the book back?”’ No, to get the money back; and Mr. an: sn't on board, because he didn't £0 by this line, and so here I am.” Miss Delplain—for this, as I afterward learned, was her name, Miss Dorothy Del- w plain hiladelphia—stared atyme as if she thought I not quite right, and just then the purser and the captain came up. Captz was said the purser. fler was a red-cheeked, ow. “What is this you “Did you come to re ke i n Zoilik jolly looking fc have done?’ cried he. sde ‘some one o “No,” said I, “I didn’t come to see him 6ff, because I'd seen him off last night— that iz, 1 bade him. good-by last night; but, you see, 1 gave him a copy of my lat- est book. I'm Robert Burns McPherson, the poet, and T gave my bock to Mr. Dane; but I didn’t know umtil this morn- ing that my uncle had put ten thousand @ollars in it for me, and then [ camé down to the dock to recover the money, but I made a mistake In the line of steamers I thought he’d gone by —I always make that mistake about the Humbug-Ameri- can line, you know, and that is the line he's gone by—and I have only five dollars with me and the clothes on my back.” I knew that the captain had rever heard of my writings, but at this point in my somewhat long monologue the Junoesque being said: *““Oh, are you Mr. McPherson, the poet? I've been dying to meet you. Didn't you read at an author’s reading in Philadel- phia?” 1 assured her that I had, and had nearly fainted from fright al The captain suddenly burst out laugh- * 1 Charles Baitell Loom COPYRIGHT 1901 - 8Y THE NATIOR A V4 L PRESS AGENCY ing. Something had just struck him. “Oh, and your friend has your money, and fol- us on the Humbug line 1 told him that that was it exactly, un- t he had allowed the money to blow away. . “Such an uncle!” continued the captain. “Does he ‘ofttimes give you bills in your books like that?” **He has never done it before; but he put a viano In my little sister's henhouse VOICE AT MY 3iDE™ The canfain suddenly looked dignified, after the manner of the Bishop of Rum- tifoo. He plainly thought that I was making fun of him. “Have you anything to identify you?" he said. I put my hand in my pocket and pulled, out a rejection from the Book Borrower. It was a verse of mine with a tenderly worded, printed slip to the effect that the editors felicitated themselves on the fact of having had a chance to read my poem and it would be one of their lifelong re- grets that they could hot use it in the columns of their magazine. Captain Zollikoffer toak the envelope and opened it, and put the manusecript in his pocket. Then he put his eye- glasses and read the rejection. I don't imagine he understood what it was ‘all about, for after he had read it through he took the manuscript out of his pocket end read the first line of that. It began: “Oft had I thought when chilling night was gone—-"" “Ooh, poetry!” said he, and put it back in the envelope with editorial prompti- tude. “Well,” he said, ‘‘you will pay the passage both ways when you return—' “I'll pay it when we get to Holland, if Mr. Dane has it, for he will send it to me, I'm sure.” “The Humbug liner will pass us to- night or to-morrow, and vour friend will arrive a day before we reach Rotterdam. Make yourself at home.. Such an uncle!” and he departed with the purser. An elderly lady who resembled Miss Delplain now joined that young woman, and I was presented to Mrs. Delplain, the mother of Juno. Luckily for me the voyvage was | a smooth one. and after the first day T was not sick. When it became known who 1 was and how I came aboard the passengers vied with each other in atten- tions to me. They lent me linen and the purser gave me a steamer cap, and I felt that the best way to g to Europe was to do it on the spur of the moment. But I did wish that nature had nat endowed me with such a ‘thin neck. After I put away my own collar I found none that were _ot miles t0o big for me. As for Miss Delplain, T wondered how T had been able to lve without her eo- ciety for the twenty-seven years that have gone to make up my life. I did not sit at her table, unfortunately, as all the on desirable seatshad been snapped up be- fore my status wasg settled, and then I had to be content with what I got. The captain had suggested that T travel sec- ond class, but as that would have cut me entirely off from the falr Philadel- phian’s society, I told him that I would rather payy the difference when I got it. As soon as breakfast was over edch day I sought her out, and we promenaded the boat-deck or played shuffleboard un- til' it. was time for bouillon. Then I al- ~ ‘"SUCR AN UNCLED CONTINUED THE . 4 CAPTAIN ? ways left her and talked to various pas- sengers, so that she would not tire of my society, but 4s soon as luncheon was over I sat and chatted with her and her moth- er until it was time for them to drese for dinner. Alas! I could make no dis- play of finer raiment, as I was limited to a sack coat, no vest, and either my Alpine hat or the steamer cap. But in the evenings I forgot that I was not well dressed, and we sat together, just abaft of the place where the smell of cooking comes up, and talked until her mother said it was time to turn in. If the reader has guessed that I fell In love with her, it does no credit to his perspicacity. Of course, I fell in love with her, and'so”quickly does a friendship.on board ship ripen that we felt as if we had always known each other. The Humbug liner—I forget her name— should have passed us the second day out, and 1 suppose she did 'so. However, on the fifthiday we saw her standing still— if that's what they call it. The captain said that something must be the matter. I stocd with Miss Delplain watching her as she rose and fell on the waves. It gave me a queer feeling to reflect that here I was practically penniless, and there was ten thousand dollars of mine not five miles away—if the wind had respected the bank bills. 1t seemed an opportune moment to pro- pose and yet as soon ac¢ I thoyght®of it my tongue became almost " helpless. T made several false starts and at last I said “Miss Delplain, are yo! posing é She said: “Why, ves: I can do anything on an ocean voyage. What do you want me to suppese?”’ ““Weil,""sald I, “suppose I had these ten thousand dollars in my pocket that are. 1 hope, on that steamer: suppose my book were to go like wildfire, do you suppose that—do you—would you be willing to let me place my steamer chair’ next to yours for the rest of our lives?' « -+ I had no idea how she wouldtake it, as 1 bad never proposed befare. “In fact, as soon as T had said it 1 wished I hadn't. But she smiled a sweeter smile than I h4a supposed thé human face carable of and said— But @0, now that [ ~ome to the point of writing what ske szid 1 cannot do it There-are some things (co sacred. If this were a made up story I might, but— I cannot express how e'ated and at the same time how depressid her words mada me. T pressed her hangd silently and went downstairs to borrow a callar from a men wha-Wore a number sixteen, good at sup- On my way back a fellow-passenger. eaid: “Hello, that steamer’s signaling to us. What's the trouble?" Tt did not take long for the Hews to. be- come common property that the Humbog liner had broken somz of her mu- chinery and wanted us to tow her into port. This would, of course. make us sev- eral days late: but as for me I feit that anything that made the time of my so- journ in Miss Delplain’s neighborhood possible was to be welcomed. It was so interesting watching them hitgh the other steamer on behind ihat I entirely for- got what steamer she was until I saw a man ‘standing on ‘her boat deck who tooked surprisingly like Enos Dane. He was too far away for me to shout to him and too far for me to recognize him at part “solutely with the naked eye, so I sought the captain. “Captain,” said T, “I think that the man who has my, money is standing on the boat déck of that steamer. Is there any way of asking him?” 1 want to put it on record that, the cap- tain was one of the most obliging men I ever saw. He immediately called his first officér dand told him to get the megaphone and ask the first officer of the other steamer whether Mr. Dane was on board. Before the first officer could get the megaphone, the man began looking at me earnestly through a pair of field glasses. I ran to Miss Deiplain, who was sitting with her mother. ‘“‘Come,” said I, excit- edly; “I think that Mr. Dane is following us—that is, he's on the other steamer. The first officer is going to megaphone to him to find out.” As we reached the first officer, he called out: *“Is Mr. Dane of New York on board your hoat?” The man who looked like Dane nodded his head, and the first officer of the other steamer, who heard the nogrse blast of the megaphone, nodded also and picked up an old-fashioned speaking trumpet, such as fire chiefs use. *Yes,” sald he; “who wants him The first officer turned to me, and I sald: “Let me takec the megaphon: Then I put it to my lips and shouted: *“My uncle put some money in my new book of verse “DETAILED A SAILOR +-- TO GO AFTER THE MONEY™ “HE WAS BEST MAN- AT A DJSTANCE ™ and I gave the book to Mr. Dane without opening it. If you're Mr. Dane, have you the money?” ) At these words, Mr. Dane, all excite- ment, started for the ladder that leads to the pilot*house, but the first officer, of course, prevented his committing the sole- cism of ascending it by coming down him- self and handing the speaking trumpet to my friend. Miss Delplain stoed by my side and I fancied I could héar her heart beating. I said to her quickly, “If he has, will you?” And she answered, “I will, if he has.” % f The next minute the somewhat muffled tones of Mr. Dane came through the trumpet to us—and by us. I mean all the passengers who could crowd around. He d, “I opened the book in a pretty stiff breeze—do vou hear?" “Yes, ves" I shouted, expectancy: “go on.” “I cpened the book in a gale of wind,” he repeated. Dane always was a great hand to repeat unnecessarily. “And a bill blew away to sea.” Miss Delplain’s hand sought mine and squeezed it -sympathetically. Just then Dane was seized with a fit of sneezing, and he had to interrupt his narrative seemed an age before he ce d his vocal spasms. At last he went on. “I shut the book up, theh went Into my cabin and found r rer bills of a thou- Are they yours? In an agony of and efich Yes,” I shouted. ““Have vou much of a library?" said “THat was the only book of the kind Then he wanted to know how I came to be on board the Milldam, and how the mec came to bLe in the book I ex- plained everything to him, and asked the ptain whether I could go after my for- tune or whether he could send a sailor. I was rather relieved when he detailed a sailor to straddle one of the hawsers and o affer the money: and I was so afral that he would falk cverboard back. They could have recovered him: and he was so valuable. But made the return tri n safety and hand ed me a neat package. My eyes met those of Miss Delplain, and [ knew that my ocean trip was going to be good for me I opened the package while my ends crogwded around me, and there were the nine bills. T could not blame Dane for the loss of the tenth, but I've often won- dered since whether it washed ashore at any of the beaches. What a beautiful on the w: never he _tle romance a man could make out of it! But my own fomance was g0od enough for me for the pyesent. I asked Mrs. Del plain’s consent that evening, and in course of conversation it turned out tha she was a schoolmate of my mother, so, of course, she had not the slightest objec- tion to my marrying Dorothy While I was talking to her a brilliant thought came into my head, induced by what struck me as a curious coi We had been at sea just a week, and was the day before Easter. “Would it not be a happy augury for the success of my book, Mrs. Deipl somehow I could talkito the mother with- out getting all tied up—“would it not be a happy augury for the guccess of my ‘Mast idence. it ern Easter’ if we were married on Easter day? Mrs. Delplain, who is a Baptist and not up in the Episcopal time table, said thought it wouald; and then the bugle sounded for dinner, and as_she had her sea appetite on she went down without saying anything further. As, for me, having obtainéd her consent, I went at once to.the Rev. Char! W. Opdyke of Philadelphia, who, would have it, was one of the passengers; and I told him of the good fortune tha was to be mine and asked him if he would unite in the bonds on Easter da He said that with the captain’s consent nothing would give him greater pleasure. He also said that it was a little unusual to married on Sunday, but that he did n see any objections to it. * “The better t ady the better the deed,’ when a deed 0 good as this,” said he. Then I went to nail the captain. » “WWhy, most surely,” said he. “T will have the cook make a Wilhelmina caka in honor of the occasion. Such an uncl2!” It seemed hard for him to get over my uncle. \ Then it suddenly oczurred to me that T had not told Dorothy 2bout the date. It would be awkward if she learngd it from another passenger. She was sitting with her mother in the ladies’ saloon. “Dorothv,” said I, “let ma congratulate you. You are to be married next Sunday. Several passengers looked up In aston- ishment and Dorothy bivshed a delig’ shade of red. But before she could spe her mother sald: “Next Sunday? Why, you told me that you wapted to mar: her on Easter Sundav.” Dear Baptist woman, she had.supposed dimly that Easter came some time in the fall. But she was true-blue. I told her that I did mnot believe 'In long engage- ments, and that if we waited for Easter to fall in the autumn we'd both pass away unwedded, and then she said: “It's all the same. If you are to be my son-in-lgw, the sooner the better.” Do you know that then for the first time 1 realized that she would be,my mother- in-law, and it gave me a bit of a shiver but.only because the professional jokers have said so much on the subject. I really had no cause for worry, and I leaned over and was just going to kiss her when I re- membered the other passengers, and I dian’t do it. 1 tried to get Dane to be my best man, but he is light-headed, and said that he wouldn't come over the hawser for a whole book full of bank bills; but he wished me every sort of joy. I had sent him a note explaining what was going to happen. But, as it turned out, he was best man— at a distance—after all. Easter morning dawned, beautiful and springlike. Wa were married in the stern of the vessel— really on the awning, for no reason in the world that Dane could be near us and act as luck s as best man from the bow of the Humbug liner. T hadn't seen Dorothy look so beautiful since we left Hoboken—never, in fact. Shes was dressed In some kind of gray clo frock, and I had borrowed a ceat, a a frock, from a man not much bigger than 1. and I wore a collar that Master Eddy Hoch of Cincinnati lent me. It was de- cidedly the best fit of any I had tried on since my own became undesirable. I gave Dorothy one of the bills as a wed- ding present, and I think that that added to her happiness. I feel that I can say this without detracting from my own merits. She felt more comfortable coming' to me not entirely dowerless, It was the event of the voyage as far as the rest of the passengers were concerned —and, in fact, as far as we ourselves were concerned. When we debarked at Boulogne Dane and Mrs. Delplain accompanied us on a short wedding trip to Park Uncle Bob had evidently surmised that T had been carried off, for when Dane went to his banker's there was a cable for me that caused Mrs. McPherson and her husband unalloyed joy. It ran as fol-. lows: “Book going like hot cakes. found the bookmarks.” (The End) Hope you,