The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, March 10, 1901, Page 9

THE SUNDAY CALL ght, o the Press Publishing says to me only last week: Senator Alli- New York World.) son, you've ES F was drawing Co o Why inaugurated w ke of the head and the old man 1 chuckled gleefully s a gay decelver. qugurating McKin- anyhow?” he asked the first a sympatk 3. tale all right,” the Bad Boy k everything in sight. osevelt might feoi rated all by himself, o it over agaln, too. Washington they iriven to the Shoreham Hotel, . magnificence of aH the ap- s failed to impress the old man, fresh from the atmosphere of and other New York cara- u say was the name of this the Old Groceryman as he ng for dinner oed the Bad Boy, and his ed horrified surprise. *Did 1 you to refer to this mansion Boy were dres; correcled the Old Gro- and more of it,” criad the Bai trair > 401 sk ¥ “Do you mean to say you doa't ke sta s of hotel, of T nETess " e name.” 5 u = Boy with = = s the White Hous: be 3 have heard the r e " where P = - 1ght you here fare ¢ < : < ! v has a g de up of o s he s rd Government offi- mres clals It familfes at the White s I be never heard of ¢ e Old Groceryman hastened » s ful of making a new se I remember reading all s sess bil ng a ¥ T wondered how it was e Is it a that y me was invite = we're S Allison Bailey, ad walter with lit e side- rything will be over to the amazed 8 s hands - T to e mee he exciaimed. Vas make ance! Take r s n | to Pre: Mo- K en whispered the Bad Boy, with K nk at the head waiter, *The Pre He auguration now address I thought iresses and him,” expost: Mr «peeches Hanna wrote all and th TAE FFROZEAN L9%WK SHRE AAD WAS EPLACED B. Lewis) As for my not liking boarding-house Iite, 1 expect rather to enjoy it. I've long had a theory about boar g-houscs and now is a e what it is worth, You just get and trot along and don't worry over me.” “If you have any rows with landladfes you won't—won’t lct them get into the * pleaded Mrs. Bowser. hat will I have Fows about? centiy queried. “The room, th ly,” ve- of what ¥ nothinzg t's a wonder I rmed is no. the cooking w bed and Il be all 1igkt, and there'll be no occasion for any bard words.” Mrs. Bowser departed by an early morning train, and Mr. Bowser lost no time in looking out for quarters. He knew of a score of boarding-houses not too far away. and within an hour he was puliing the bell at the top of a flight of steps. It was the landlady herself who answered the ring, and when she understood that he was in search of a temporary home the frozen look she had put on for the benefit of a canvasser was replaced by a smile that she tried her best to make ap- pear motherly. “I think 1 understand you,” she said, with a friendly nod. “You are looking for a place which will extend the com- forts of home, and you have come to the : sicep here nights, t iike lunching t about big cnough to fi 3 hanging ‘AR (e e A Ul HIS FOO1 CAME DOWNR ON THE HIGK HAT OF THE CRINNING ROOS right hé Tou are usea to a good bed and dainty table, and yeu desire to meet congenial pec around the festive -, ma'am, and Providence seem: to have guided my am_sure and be here to dinner 2 Mr. Bowser bis trunk over and turned th outdoors, and that even- ing he " He as just in time for dinner. For au hour he been thinking of oyster s P house steak, French fried potato Mocha coffee, and he sat down with an appetite. Soup was brought him. It was thin soup: | s watery soup; it was soup which tasted of nothing in particular. He sipped a spoonful and gla ound him at the mily” and re; at he was in for a row. Tkere was steak, but it was VW ELT, ; there were masaea pota- were full of lumps. Mr. 1 at his meat a moment L potatoes and then leaned ack in hi h. Had rs. Bowser been there she would have feit the earth trem- blix nd hastened to prevent a_calamity, b ) no signs. When she r did not eat, she ten- suppose, pror man, you are thinking the wife who is far away, and so you have no appetite Madam, is_this what you were pleased to term your festive board?"” he querfed in ..;.ll_\- as he waved his hand over the ta anything wrong?" He was about to reply that there was k: to give particulars when the “fam- ily” froze him into silence with their looks. There were eleven of them, and feotefeofelefofefofeflmiele defeifeieied < ““What did you want to shut me off for? Me and Mark was just getting well ac- quainted.” After dinner they went out for a walk and the Old Grocoeryman viewed wonder the sights of the City nificent Distances. “Would you care to attend a Cabinet meeting?”" asked the Bad Boy as they re- turned.to the hotel late in the evening. The old man said ae would, and the Bad led |Boy him into the Shoreham bar, “where a number of men were seated at 5 small tables, talking and drinking. “See!” exclaimed the Bad Boy, as he pointed out a commercial traveler with glasses and a bristling mustache. “That's Teddy Roosevelt “You don’t say so!” gasped the old man, “just watch him punishing that whisky. Mr. Roosevelt, let me shake the hand that slewed all them Spaniards. Glad io meet you!” The drummer looked up in surprise. Then he sized up the Old Groceryman and resolved to have some fun with him. “Hello!" he cried, grasping the out- “Isn’t this my old friend, rb, of Bayston, N. J.?" “No; I'm tor Alllson; just dropped In to see you get inaugurated,” answered the flattered Old Groceryms “You're just in time then,” declared the drummer, tipping a wink to haif a dozen cther traveling men whom he knew, “for 1g to Inaugurate me right d like to join In the But first shake hands with and Senator Hoar and Sec- and Mr. Hay and Emb dor Pauncefote. Now, gentlemen, dressing grinning traveling men, “may I suggest that we do the inaugurat- ing by proxy. as is the time-honored cu: tom? 1 propbse Senator Allison as my proxy. All in favor please say ‘Aye A delightful chorus of “Ayes” followed the proposition. ’ “The first step,” continued the drum- mer as he led the way to a private room, “4s to blindfold the candidate,” and he proceeded to tle a handkerchief about the 0Old Groceryman's eye Vow, Mr. Hay, you and General Miles each take one of .is hands and show him where to stand. Now,” placing a chair beside the table and another on top of the table, “lead guration room."” he Old Groceryman three times around the table and then the sudo Lord Pauncefote explained to him had passed out into the grand fon Hall and were in the pres- ger spectators. stretched hand. General M retary Lon )00 e Mount the platform, Senator,” he whispered, leadlng the old man to-the ta- ble. “But look out for the steps; they are hig Secretary Hay and General Miles half lifted the Old Groceryman to the chalr on the table, while two more of the sup- posgd dignitaries held the chalr firmly bal- anced. Roosevelt whispered in his ear: “The President is at your immediate right. He has just conciuded his address. No, no! Don't turn to speak to him now. It wouldn't look dignified. The President always makes his own inaugural address, (tut the Vice President 1s always repre- PLEASED TOMEET you <" HE EXCLAIMED = 2 fu% th ¥ they were “agin” him to the last one. cook did not half mash her potatoes. Real g the :ituation, he rose up a Why, if my cook had dared to set such a calmly as possible, left {he room ind went meal before me I'd have—have''— up to the newly papered room with south- “You are intoxicated, sir!” she inter- ern exposure. The lan ed. It rupted wasg her duty as the-head of t amily” ‘“‘Bosh!" and a motherly woman to comfort the disconsalate. “You and your wife haven't been arted very ofter. I take it?” she sald as r. Bowser opency the door to her. “Look here, woman, what sort of a hash house do you call this?’ he demanded as he turned on her and instinctively looked arpund for the cat. ‘ISir! Sir! Is possible that you are speaking to me?” she der-anded. “Of, course I am!_ Do you expect that a man who has ever had a home of his own can put up with such fodder as was placed before me? That soup was slop; that beel came from & neck plece. Your sicvenly “Then, sir, there is no excuse for your language, and, as tha head of this Chris- tian family and as | %, owner of this fest- ive board downstali_*I shall have to ask THE- "FAMILY " FROZE HIM INTO SILENCE WITH TREIR I_DOK) . you to wacate this room. “I was going of my own accord,” replied Mr. Bowser, who wanted to Kkick over chairs and jump at the cat. “I have al- ways had a theory that a boarding-house which would feed its patrons on lamb chops instead of bull beef, on potatoes B i e e AND COME 0UT 190 DOLLARS T0 TEE 600D | sented by proxy. They're all walting in hushed expegtancy for you to begin.” But I don what to say.,” the Old Groceryman spered back to him, “and why don't ¥y is here hand- kerchief oft " “It 18 a as the republic ftselt for 's proxy to the p won man c attitude of a “we are assemble ebrate this large To—to commemorate—with adul —in short, as citizens of the grandest na- tion on ea: wit ce to the effete monarchles of Great Britain and England as” In his excitement the old man took a meteorical stride forward and stepped off the chalr into space. His foot came down on the high hat of the grinning Roosevslt and he caromed into the arms of Senator Hoar. With wild confusion he was led twice more abor o le and the bandage removed from his eyes. “You did magnificently,” declared Gen- eral Miles, as he choked back a howl of laughter at sight of the dlscomfited Roosevelt, who was trying to extract his bruised head from the wreck of his high hat, “and now to the last step in the ceremony. It's the custom of each person honored as you have been to-night to show his appreciation by purchasing wine for the members of the Cabinet.” “How much’'d it cost me?” asked the 0ld Groceryman, staring about in search of the passageway leading from the In- auguration Hall. “A hundred dollars would do it neatly,” suggested Roosevelt. “Well,”” sald the Old Grocervman re- luctantly, “I havew't got any hundred dollars in cash with me. But I've got a check $250. If any of you co cash it perhaps”— And be looked doubtfully about the circle. “Here,” suggested General Mlles eager- ly. “Give me the ck and I'll give you $150 and we'll spend the other $100. I'll get the check cashed in the morning.” “Well,” asked the Bad Boy, as the Old Groceryman, a worse for wear, can- tered into their rooms an hour later, “how does gay life at the capital strike you? Fine as ** hiccoughed the old man. “But I'm kind of sorry for poo General Miles. You see, he gave me § for that $260 check of mine and he spe another $100 on champagony water. W the $250 check I gave him was dra the ‘Steenth National Ba and I happen to have any acc check I found day $250 in case some bu touch me for money good from this hers sumpshus trip ours.” GEORGE W. P “Fine! K. The taflor who cleans clothing sponges on his friends only because t of his business. at is a part il e mashed with a club 1 teaa of a crowbar, on J r Mocha co , sir!” inter- rup as she waved him out of the Foo the hall and downstalrs. The other boarders had gathered to see the kicker depart They were tall, thin, ers, and most of the with their cash SAE WAVED HIM OUT OF- THE™ RCOM nall and looked coldly and cruelly at Bowser as h sed. When « osed be descended t ered in his eye and ran down his nose.