The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, January 20, 1901, Page 11

1 THE SUNDAY CALL. mes his eve with an ex- t quite make man What new “Vaudeville? where you ¢ watch a bunch o s Girls With Carly Curls their hind Jegs. “Here!’s “That's no vodyveal fzshioned Variety Show s used to hev to the Town Hal g!" agréed the bov old “Same { change native town. Don't you v T used to— pted the old g&rocery- Say! Speaking of the ol 1 was Why an Je face te shouted the ¢ peqple tired nagers gave ther That's the o sukee. Now a tl pagne away whken her show ! That's i the vari Froce 4 oid grocer pa was as good t as bver happened: but he ¥ real hard to appear bad hat time at S5 Mil- fress a whole e drank it and led him ‘Whiskers' and t61d him me, as he did. camé to our A o ¢ uld get to ma’s ears. So he writ note warning her to keep mu it behifidgthe scenes by me. seen the age she was in befora, there wak a plac it where rvant brings her in a. letter and & and reads it aloud and it's frc ost husband opens saw where the property man had put the ‘props’ for that act, and I sneaked away the fake letter and put pa's letter in its place. Then I we: and sat back 1o the audience down beside pa and ma and Sheffield. ¢ : . when her act began. on comes ess and she savs:. ‘Five long, e poor husband left and not one word Ha! A letter? 'Tis in his ar handwriting! What does he little wife he has not And she tears open from him own (¢ say to the lovi seen for 80 lon; the letter the servant gives her and reads: My own little Don’t let on ybu've ever sc efore or that 1 bought you wine. & audténte 2nd she's a ot wildcats ugiier than a Popu skers. So keep stiil about me. lovey-dovey., and you shall swim in champague pext time we meel. Lovingly, ry ode . "ComE. ALoNG " SaIn THE SECOND, BLIS~nAT name signed 2 wasn't a haooy night! I went to stav another boy for the next week, and I came back pa said he'd been :0 ur death he didn't have the heart sund me through the Pearly Gates ahead of him, and he let me 0% with an exter- tion of barrel staves. “Ana then came p: t Weli! t about this vaudeviile business »'d you like to take in a show to Glorious girls—fine shapes— songs that'll make you sit up—decol- lete % “You're on!” interrupted the old gro- ceryman. “I'm with you every time, [s it another of therh shows where I've got to crowd inte a hard-boiled shirt and a claw-hammer coat? 'Cause that fresh constable pulied both tails off my cout at the Opera-house last night—" “Then you can wear it as a Tuxedo and be right in the swim.” suggested the Bad Boy. “We'll dine here at the hotel and start for the theater at 8. So fong! I've got to lunch with George Gould and attend a dogfight this afternoon at Mrs. Astor's. Take care of yourself to- day and if any one asks your name say you're Jim Jeffries. hen no one will pick & guarrei with vou: for evervboly khows a champion can't fight without three months’ free advertising in the pa- pers. Bye-bye” Promptiy at 8 that évening’ the two started for the theater. The Bad Bo was unysually palite to his old frienl. So muth so that the old man. who was used to watching for such symptome, began to look out for trouble. They reached the Music Hall a little too eariy for the periormance and stood eck's Bad Doy A mon Stor ville Sho a few minutes outside on the brilliantly f ent, watghing the crowd. cemen, strolling along, eyved tryman curionsly and cast s0k on his sprucely dressed companion As the policemen, stifl eying passed cut of earshot. the old man drew forth a wad of biils of herculean pro- portions. y “Here,” he whispered to the Bad Bov, therm “you take charge of these. In a crowd like this I'm afeared some one may dick my pockets.” The Bad Boy took the money, thrust it into his trousers pocket and patted the old groceryman on the back. “That’s right!” he exclaimed. “You put your trust in me and you'll never loge. I'm glad to see you are beginning to have faith in me once more. If you had only——" “Excéuse me, constable.” remarked the grocéryman, humbly greeting one of the bluecoats, “but you know all the famous men in Néw York: I suppose?” “By’ sight, anvhow.” replied the po- liceman. “What's the imawer?” “See that-flashily dressed younz chip over there, leanin’ against that pillar, smokin’ 2 cigarette?” indicating the Bad Boy. g {5 What oi-him?” is he John Tacob Ast you old hayseed! -Of “Wel o, se he mn “He told me he was. Said he'd a scheme to make my fortune if 1'd only give him $100.” “What!!" yelled both blueco breath, gripping their clubs “So L.give him the mo: : but then 1 got just a little bit suspicious and I thought I'd ask you gentlemen.” By this time the policemen had borne down upon the hapless boy and seized him by the coat “Hello!” cried the Bad Boy, “what's up? Has the old feliow got into troubls again? Don’l nd him. He's only a harmless— “Shut up commanded one of the policemen, while the other added: “I saw the ol* man give him the mon “Certainly he gave it to me.” agreed the puzzled Bad Boy, “and [—" “Here, you green goods sharp!” in- terrupted the first policeman. “anvthing you say now is liable to be used axainst yOu at your trial “Come along.” said the second biue- coat, “there’s a crowd coilecting. We'll have him searched at the station-house, Old man, you come, too. and make the charge. Why, where is the old man?" The groceryman had vanished. At midnight the Bad Bov (after spending three hours in a cell and being searched and plied with a million ques- tions at the police station, and having at Tast secured bail). returned in a state »>f white fury to his hotel. There he found the old groceryman calmly awaitung his arrival. “Thotight ye'd tirn up Sooner or later.” cried the groceryman in weleome, before the Bad Boy could irame words of a hue blue enough for the occasion “T've had a most niteréstin’ evenin’ at that vodyveel show of ours. No one to get me in trouble. No one to make a 11 REFRESHIN' YE® TURN UP . SOONER OR LATER. fool of me: no one to make me ao ¢r ngs. It was a refreshin’ season t tight down and tell me all abo what's happened to you. You kinder peevish. [ hope nothin's = wrong.” GEORGE W. PECK Sailcrs” Sagings of She Weather. b4 ERE are some of the sayings in fi which saflors have long Delievad d Thunder on SBunday i8 considered by the weatherwise the sign of the death of a great man; on Monday the death of a woman: on Tuesday, If in eariy summer, it foretells an abundance of grain; on Wednesday, warfare is threat- ened: on Thursday. an abundance of sheep and corn the farmer may réckon upon: on Friday some great man wili be murdered: on Saturday & general Pesti- lence and great mortality. Friday's weather shows what may be expented the following Sunday: that is. if 1t rains Friday noon. there will be ram on Bunday, but If Friday bde clear, Sun- day will be fine No weather is 11l if the wind is st 1f the full moon shall rise red, expéct wind. The sharper the blast the soomer it is pest A lght yellow sky at suneet prefages wind. When you see northern lights you may expect cold weather. Hazy weather is thought to progfosti- cate frost in winter, snoW in spring. falr weather in summer and rain 8 au- tumn. Storme that clear in the @t will be foliowed by a rainstorm. Three foggy mofnings will surely be followed by a rainstorm. When the sky I8 full of stafs expect raine. It a cat washes Nergelf calmiv and smoothly the weather will be falr. [f she washes herself “against the grain™ taks your mackintosh with you. If she ltes with har back to the fire there will be a squall e ———— e A FAMILY ARGUMENT. “Clara, you know I'm right.” “Of course, Clarence; that's what makes me get so mad.”"—Chicago Record. —_————————— The person who Iives on hope is seldom troubled with obesity.