The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, October 28, 1900, Page 6

THE SUNDAY CALL. WINNERS. - ’."‘."{'.‘.{"ST‘&—T\A - RIS “ [} — ~ —— THE GREAT UNCONQUERED. O 4+ THE SECOND KNOCKOUT. N T e g e S l INTERCHANGEABLE ‘ BRAVERY. | Here the young girl removed her red skirt, waved it above her head and brought the train to a stop. All the world wondered. “How brave of you,” cried the world, “to have worn a red skirt, when red is obviously not your celor!” The herolc maiden shrank timorously away from their praise, like a startled fawn, for she had attended boarding school and knew exactly how to do this.— Detroit Journal. “I know well enough, fellow-citizens,” exclaimed the fierce-browed, shaggy- haired orator, “that the views I advocate are not popular. Not ten days ago, whiie advocating them from a public piatform, 1 was struck cn the head by a brick ana knocked senseless.” “Why didn't you wait till you got your sense back before you went to talking again?”’ inquired a man in the outskirts of the crowd, in a loud, raucous voice.— Chicago Tribune. THE SIGNIFICANCE. “Henry,” she said, ‘“did you get those | shoe buttons for me to-day?” “Yep,”” he replied. ‘“What did you do with them?” He felt in his pocket and presently fished out a little round box. Then a scared look overspread his countenance and the lady wanted to know what was the matter. “Did you take any of those complexion pills you asked me te bring home for you?"' he asked. ‘“Yes; one,” she answered. “Why?" I ““That was a shoe button. Here are the | pills.” | MISTAKEN IDEAS. “Old Gayboy, 1 learn, has married a charming young widow and settled down.” *“He didn't do anything of the kind. He settled down something pretty handsome Pergy—Ah! And when? on the charming young widow and then | old man, to be able to charter a vacht. F,d(tch-—\\'hen you dream again!—Puck. she married him.””—Chicago Tribune. | Capton—Not at alL. I'm doing it so save L B e A o i e i i e e o o Rt E “I'm going to keep my wife at sea for a | whole month.”"—Harper’s Bazar. ! L e T S Percy—I dreamt last night that you had accepted me. What does that dream sig- nify? Edith—That you will marry me! ECONOMY. Billtop—You must be deoing mighty well, PAPA HAD A PULL. She—It will be safer if we elope on a railroad train, He—How so0? She—Well, papa won't pursue us until he can get a pass. Bridget—Sure, an’ it doesn’t mather, si | not affora | dray to haul his money home.™ —Chicago Freaks of Cocd £ vers. “Queer thing what ideas a man will get into his head after he's been doing the swell thing in dining,” said the tall police- man, reflectively. “I'm net talking about the criminal classes or the classes that merely eat when it comes eating time. I mean the real diners, the chaps who use Cabs aand dress suits and get up in the m_x.ddle of the afterncon. f I used to be stationed opposite a res- taurant that was advertised ail over the World for the exceiience of its foeds and d'l_’vnks. When I first went there [ saw visions of many arrests and quick pro- motica. Afier I'a been there® a while and 80l a little more sense | didn't see 30 much, “I'll give ¥ou a case in point. [ was learing against tie plate glass window of B store opposite the restaurant about 1l o' ciock one nighy when two young fellows cu.n ¢ Oul and stopped to talk over some $l.uu'f that seemed to be troubling them. 1T ey shook hands and walked over to my corner. 4 First thrng'l knew there was one of ;“\ ,mcn s('wppmg out and talking with a anger. thought he was aski < e as asking for a something like that the other feliow - u away, still laug came along this time | i , but | heard iaugh and then he walked bing. The next man that the young fellow braced, aad Strolled Past ane hes s pas ind heard him “Yes, sir. That chap in the dress suait, who had just been spending for dimmer what would have been 3 week's wages for e, wWas puwting up a . story about beir EY poor bnckluyvr. Just ~ out of the hospits with a sick wife and some st ATy ‘:»~~“p:~,‘.‘(.l.-. rea. He got it off on seve ral pe -‘.w‘ u‘x.l themr 1 stepped him, thi YRing he might give somebody olfense “'Oh, it's all right, Mr. P ticema he told me. ‘I just bet my friend the wine 1 could make a hit as a begzar And e wanted me (0 g0 with them and help dr \ up the stakes. But [ refused and advised him to go home.” B . WHEN HE RETURNS “Ah,"” said the great musician’'s mother, “our som’s tour in America must have been a failure. Here is a cable ASKing that we meet him at the doek next Thurs. day with a dray. Peer boy! afford a carriage.” “No, my dear,” said the artist's father, whsse reasoning faculties were necessar- ily more acute, “it is not because he ¢ AN~ the carriage. He wants the He cannot Times- Herald. WHAT SHE CAN DO. She has no dog teo fondle, She has no cat to pet: She does not own a parvot, She leads no sectmal set: She writes no learned papers, To read where women meet, But she can get up dishes Her husband likes to eat. —Sterling, I, Standard DECIDEDLY UNFAIR. First Tramp—Ain't ye goin’ through New Jersey this year? Second Tramp—No, I ain't. Was there last year. “Wot's th" matter with It ?" “Every time anybody gits kilied they arresis all th' tramps in th' State. I only killed two women there last year, an’ [ got arvested sixteen times.”"—New Yok Weekly. SEAMEN'S BETHEL. “Did you go to preaching this merfiing, Jack ™" “Ay, sir, but when I heard the landiub- ber who was preachin® say ‘ve can't starve on a two-master’ I got up an” kem out. “What does he know about ships?™ — Chicago Tribune. : IT DIDN'T MATTER. Grocer—What kind of tea do you want, black or green? r. Me missus is color blind.