The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, September 2, 1900, Page 7

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* THE SUNDAY CALL. - > Jwo Bicycle Lessons, € between Mr. Bliss -and 'S Wik« lon’t: mean to. say, Mss. Wylie i ever rode a wheel until now?”’ Sit perfectly! I never saw any vance so easily. Don’'t mention it! ¥ 4 pieasure to assist you. How grace- “y You dismount! Teo heavy? Nothing the kind. You wheel like an expert. OW me."”’ logue between Mr. Bliss and his own Now, Jz . If you are going to hang t bies > like a sack of meal you'd I g1ve up {rying to learn. I told you 1L ime to go wobbling all over the try holding you on a wheel. - It's too expect of mortal man!”’ W padgeei g g “Mrs Wylie? Why, that woman v learn tp ride in a thousand neither for that matter will you! L Go anything of the kind—I never P8 Her husband asked me to her a few moments, and 1 did, out hbor Kindness.™ her hand? I never did anything kKirnd, except to drag her on and off 1 You lean away over to one ves, I'd like running alongside, ge or prefessor of athjeties, Not Mrs. Bliss! If you don’t learn in S yvou can practice by yvourself. go! Geo! Well, whose fauilt I don't make a spectacie of r to hold you on! Go:into the I wabble to your heart's m finighed.”—Short Stories. deatys . SURE HE WAS RJ.&;HT. ag a sthool in the during a lesson on the KNOCKING—-GENTLY KNOCKING. - Kingdom, the teacher put the fol- Miss Antique—I have such a horror of growing oid. rlestior Rose Wood (sweetly)-—1 should think you would have gotten over it by this time. name ) animal of the : is, & toothless ani- @ DITIURTECYOETSEONTETEDE DN KRR 1, K RIS, B B R R Ao o s @) ” : e i SURE OF IT. MAKING 17 'ALL RIGHT. hose fa beamed ith pleas- 2 od mark re- Teacher—In the sentence, *'Patrick beat Mrs. Young Wife—You are sure. there John. with his fists;” what iz Patrick? are five pounds of sugar in this package? Bright "Boy—He's ' Irish.—Philadelphia: It seems very. light, ; the animal?”’ Press. Grocer—That, miadam. is because it is Jer replied the boy, in o S = entirély free from . sand.—Boston Tran- g London Tit-Bits. AN ABLE ADVOCATE. script. oY Wik Broadway—Since going ' to = England THEY. ALL DO. NOT WORTH $. Cheoate has apparertly lost his:- wit. “To e G - g R . Judge from his publie uttéranves he. . is Jill~That's Miss Brown. - She expects to . - I iing stupid ’ bé married. 3 ( 1Y n - ! y 3 " Manhattan—That * merely. “shows - the Jagk—=Of . churse. - Sheé's’ a ~ woman:=- 5 ti ¥ 1l adaptability of the man.—ELife. Philadelphia’ Pre S 1 ! ea- S z et e FORCIBLE. OVERDOING IT. = rted; but in-a lit o dacd Y ; 4 i and said TR - % 5 ‘Bome falks,'':.said Unele’ Eben, *$éems3 e foot ¥ fnohas - 1 Py ] lnirr‘b\ m\i‘; met;i‘sen Eo skyaht foh fear. dey won't gib de deb- - Y gy, sl 3 we Il change to the im-= 110 nis dre . gaf dey: seems- Hable .. to 3 ve draws the ‘wagon fohgit -about whut's comirn’ te: de yothub nm? RO BRI LA A0 R, yeople.”—\Washington Btar. 2 5 Teache aw put it9h the imperative: e ; J::,,,*A,V W LING Tommy—Gee-up.—St. Louis Globe<Dem- NOT -SO MEAN AS THAT. ocra BN r father’'s consent by SN L RS g Miss -Oldgirl -1 came _honestly by. my P SUFFICIENT REASON. comiplexion. was his answer 3 S R Miss Costique—0, T didn’'t mean to ‘in- Enow who - you Warwick—Why is ‘it that there are no’ sinuate‘that you hadn't paid for it.—Stray s & Harvard Lam- real skyscrapers in Loondon? Btories: : Wickwire—There S e S el Sl SE SR owh ome amE S e AN ELECTRIC GONG, is no sky.—Puck: BCan ot S S TOO LUNG TO WAIT. “I disown you!" cried the afgry parent; “1 shall éut you off with a shilling.” “Yes, sir,” repliéd the erring sen, meek- ly, “and might I have the shilling now?” —Stray Stories, NO HOPE. Cobble—I wish I . could stop playing poker. Stone—Why don't you swear off? A RUMOR. “Why. this change? You used to say . that I was the sunshine of your life.” "I do. But every time 1 swear off I be- “Yes; but I've heard lately that you gin to win.""—Life. were very shady.” @ T A AT A TR O R TR A OA O A O R O A O AT R Tk T [-] : BEFORE THEY ATE HIM. : Missionary—Did my predecessor ‘bring tears to your eyes when he preached to b d oo Cannibal Chief—No; but he made our mouths water. 0 THATHATATATAT AT A AT AT AT AT AT A AT A @ NOT GONE FOR GOOD. - Scadds—What's become of your pretty typewriter? g : Trayder—Slte and the bookkeeper both UP-TO-DATE *“VET.” McGigger—Young Simpkins graduated from the veterinary college last month and his father présented him with a case don't yer see? It wuz ringin’ ter let de engineer .kgow we 1 slow up an’ not run over us, but I guess he wasn't 'tendin of .instruments. - : Thingumbob—=8urgical instrumeénts, eh? McGigger—Oh, no. Machinists’ : tools, for repairing automobiles.—Philadelphia Press. ENTHUSIASTIC PHOTOGRAPHER. Fair one’s father—Why did you bring that kodak with you? Poor lover—That I might catch your ex- pression of astonishment when I asked vou for your davghter's hand.—Fliegende Blaetter, left me very suddenly. Scadds—For good? Trayder—No. For “better, for worse, I believe,—Philadelphia Press. ° % HOW IT HAPPENED. First Citizen—I haf attended der .bolit- ical meetings of bot' parties for der past téen years. Second Citizen—Ah! both sides? First Citizen—Nein! pand.—Puck. You like to hear I pelong to a prass -

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