The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, July 29, 1900, Page 3

THE SUNDAY CALL. Miss Border—I've just received a letter from my sister, who is in London. She TWO-HEADED MAN Y« Javed F's Lifa. Henry Fitch, a young farmer, living at :Mnumain End, invited death for himself and his two oxen the other day by | whistling. Young Fitch is a whistler of much abil- . ity. He has whistled at every farmhouse and every gathering in the neighborhood, | and when he is whistling nobody cares to listen to piano, violin, flute, guitar or | banjo. The other day Fitch was plowing in his field—plowing and whistling. Two sleek, sleepy oxen were drawing the plow and neither they nor Fitch paid any attention 1o anything but the plowing and the whistling. Presently a swarm of thousands of honcy bees hovered over them. There was ro use to run—still less to fight them and Fitch simply kept on whistling and plow- ing, while the bees settled softly upon him and the oxen. They seemed friendly enocugh as long as Fitch whistied and Fitch admits that he was willing to whistle as long as they remained friendly emed inclined to listen. | continued to plow along. His J I led toward his home, where he | Id see his mother in the yard. He the tails of the oxen and heid hem so the beasts might not anger the | <s by For the distance | switching them. haif a mile & two oxtaiis | those hkeld might be | l He | | i | | xen looked like they 7ith a ft brown fur. Fitch P == I t long enough tc | : » continued. d at once. She knows | hamed r of bees and realized that unless + i = she them hived in short order they fau w probably sting héer son to death. 5 r t} it Fe argued that he could not keep on | W g forever. | XETHOX X O] So . got a huge fin pan and began | ! it vigorously. The bees stirred | v. at this interruption of their con- | rt, but they did not sting, and after a | ; moments every one of them rose in | and started toward the tin pan. | . Fitch ied the way to an emply hive! | WK HOLMES th had luckily been prepared for anu- | ither swarm and by dint of much beating | g got all the bees inte it. { pped whistling, sat down fiali ywund and mopped his face. The zy oxen switched their tails \'igur-‘ { | » make up for lest time. —— WORSE YET. contemporary tells us of a who recently passed an evening at of a lady and stayed late. As he g0 the lady said: “Pray don't go r. Jones; 1 want you to play some- r me.” “Ch, A musical anist : | thir you must excuse me 2 » < sy It is very late and 1 shouid . < n » neighbors.”” ““Never mind the g ;' answered the young lady, ; : 5 ickly; “they poisoned our dog yester- S M —— | O g -] THE SAVAGE BACHELOR. “There are ever sSo many more grmd: NG ONE | actresses than good actors,” said the — st Young Thing, *““and I think that ws the superiority of woman.’ t doesn’'t,”” snorted the Savage Bache- yr. It just shows the infericrity of the 12 business, that's ali"”—Indianapolis SRS AR TSP { HIS IDEA. #ays she expects to be presented at court next week. 8i Hayrake—Wal, I do hope ther jury will acquit her. { THE - —— R — L u"-,-_:- 24 KA AYSEE She—Love laughs at locksmiths. The Cynic—But he wears a sickly smile when the plumber comes around, O TR T A A A TA R T A T ETASEH T T O TSR TE RSP HER WIFELY ENCOURAGEMENT. Mrs. Gayvye—My husband gave up all | his nsive habits a short time ago. Miss Bright—And how did his econém- reform work? “First rate, my ical dear, while it lasted. lc He saved up enough money the first week | { to buy me a new hat.”"—The Smart Set. “I'LLL TAKE THE SAME.” Mrs. Darling—Mercy, what have yvcu been drinking? Mr. Darling—I don't know. they cail “the same.” ble drink, I should say. Mrs. Darling—Oh, was that ajll? so glad it was nct some kind of liquor, VIEWPOINT OF Charles, It was what Newlvwed—Dees your wife ever threat- { en to go home to her mother? Oldboy—Why, my boy, I wouldn't con- sider that a threat.—The Smart Set. Quite a fashiona- | Iamf EXPERIENCE | THE DIFFERENCE, A politician says: “When a man leaves { our side and gces to the other side he is a traitor, and we always feel that there is I a subtle something wrong about him. But when a man leaves the other side and comes over to us, he is a man of great ! moral courage, and we always feel that Ihc has sterling stuff in him.”"—Ex. i A PLEASANT PROSPECT. i g ! Hunter—Miss Manly has persuaded me | to take her after pheasants to-morrow. Houser—Indeed! Shall I telephone for | a freight-car to bring in your game? Hunter-—-Ng; you'd better telephone my | size of coffin to your undertaker.—New i York World. DT ! SO INTERESTING. | A recently published book is entitled | “Haif Hours With Insects.” What a live- v half hour ene can have with a bee!— \ London Tit-Bits AT R TR TR JNNOCENT PLEASURES OF CHILDHOOD. Tutor—See, Reg-i-nald! Reginald (thinking very vigorously to himself)—Yes, kind joy-ing rare sport with the scrap-ping roosters. See the in-no-cent lit-tle boys at play? tu-tor; they are en- 1 have been there my-self.